Now I understood. He didn’t want me to have it because he wanted it for himself. The song hadn’t been completely finished when Jake had died and I’d added my own touches. Those were gone, replaced by the parts Alex had written, but the core of the song was still Jake’s. Alex had stolen it. That was facts.
Pete had to be around somewhere. I pushed through the bunch of people standing at the side. One woman pushed back and I stumbled but Carlie was right behind me.
I caught Pete’s eye. He grinned. Did he even realise what Alex played? How could he just grin like that? That guy had his own agenda, that much I’d figured.
A rage welled up in me. When I’d played this song, Alex had unplugged the sound desk. He’d controlled me. He’d silenced me, just like he’d silenced justice when Jake died.
But I was powerless, just a tiny girl with no way of fixing this situation. I had to stand by and watch him steal something from me. Not even from me, but from Jake’s memory.
I trembled, my whole body shook as though the anger in me was too much to contain.
He got to the chorus and the way he sang that line was exactly the same as Jake had sung it. Did he even have a thread of creativity in him or did he just steal everything from others?
The blood pounding through my body cut through even the bass beat from the speaker stack. There was no stage, no crowd, nothing but Alex standing in front of me, stomping all over the brother he’d killed.
My hands balled into tight fists. I couldn’t pull the sound; I couldn’t demand he stop. I couldn’t use my parent’s wealth to buy my own way. But the anger grew inside me.
Some force took over my body, like an evil spirit born from my anger.
I rushed the stage.
Flying.
Sanity fled, leaving me alone with my desire to stop him.
With a massive lunge, I tackled Alex to the ground. All the noise stopped. Only a rush filled my ears, like the ocean swelling.
The thud jarred me as I hit the hard floor but Alex’s body partly cushioned my fall.
The two of us became a mess of limbs and cords on the stage floor. My arm hurt but my heart hurt more. I’d done something.
Awareness of Alex’s body hit me. He grappled with me, trying to get me off him. I struggled and flayed, not sure what to do now that I’d done it.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he yelled.
What the fuck was I doing?
Hell, the music stopped, the crowd screamed.
Powerful arms grabbed me, dragging me away.
Fuck.
I got dragged backstage but, with the adrenaline rush over, I went quietly. In the empty room, the realisation of what I’d done flooded me. I’d tackled Alex, mid-song. I’d stopped him playing.
Holden would be livid. I’d ruined his gig. Alex would be livid too. He’d probably kill me for it. This thing I’d done was huge. Not just huge but done in front of a crowd of thousands. I’d be remembered for this. Remembered as the crazy bitch who’d taken the guitarist down mid-song. I’d be hated, reviled.
My jacket hung on the back of a chair. I put it on, but still shivered. I wanted to run but I had no way of leaving. Maybe I could get a cab, rather than face the consequences.
Well, that was my music career over in flash. Alex would never, ever look at me again. Even though I hated him and even though he’d betrayed me, that made me incredibly sad.
Alex
I’d lost her. I’d completely lost her.
No matter what lies I told myself, at the back of my mind I’d always clung to the thought that, at some point, Dee would forgive me. That we could have something. Not the frenzied sex she’d offered me but something real. She bought a lightness into my life that I’d never even known was missing. I wanted to redeem myself in her eyes but, instead, I’d sunk even deeper into the pits of her hatred. Sunk so low that I couldn’t see a way out.
From the start, I’d known it was wrong to include that song but I’d ignored all the sense in my head because I’d wanted other things more. The glittering gold temptation had lured me. I’d just had to reach out my hand to get the things I wanted but, in the process, I’d lost an important part of my soul.
For just a few minutes, as I played that song, I’d forgotten all else. The set had gone so great until then. Perfect. And “Fifteen Minutes” had been the closer. I’d leave this gig with a swag of new fans, all talking about how mind-blowing we’d been. I’d walk off stage a hero.
Instead, I walked off stage with my head down and a pang in my back. I’d fallen hard. For a moment, I’d been stunned. I’d been playing the chorus, basking in my own awesomeness, as waves of admiration came from the crowd. I was a God and they were in the palm of my hand.
The lights glared in my eyes like the glow of a future not so far out of my reach.
Then bam, I was flat on my back. Nothing registered except that mane of hair covering my face. The lights dimmed. The music stopped. A feedback screech cut through the air. The world had stopped to judge me, striking me down. Like a big lump of karma hit me smack on the back of the head.
Slowly, it came to me. It was Dee on top of me.
She’d knocked me to the ground. I scrambled to fix this. I’d thought I could grab my guitar and finish the song. I could save that much. But our set was over.
As the bouncer dragged her off, I struggled to my feet. The crowd went from shocked silence to thunderous screams. I had no idea why they screamed. For Dee? For me? Just for the pure pleasure of screaming?
There was absolutely no point continuing the song. It was done. It was all done. The only thing left to me was to leave the stage with as much dignity as possible.
“We ARE Zero,” I yelled into the mic. I gave a salute to the crowd and walked off.
Now what?
Wait for my career to crumble around my feet? Go home and get drunk?
I’d never get another chance like this one. It was all ruined, my life in ashes around my feet. I had to get out, leave it all behind me. Everyone was rushing around, preparing for Holden to get on stage. I could leave without anyone even knowing.
I headed to the green room to grab my stuff. I’d text Fabian to pack up my gear.
Fuck it all.
I smashed my fist into the wall. That made me feel better for an instant. Then realised I shouldn’t risk my hands. I’d grazed my knuckles and the wall had suffered no damage but it’d helped. Then I kicked the wall instead.
Soon, the guys would be back in here, wanting to dissect what had happened. I didn’t want to discuss it. I didn’t want to look on the bright side or make the best of it. I wanted to brood in my own silence.
A couple of staff members rushed past me as I walked out. It was show time for Holden. Everything would be swept away, forgotten, when he hit the stage. I’d only be remembered as a joke.
As I went down the corridor, a door opened. I didn’t really pay attention until I saw Dee come out. She looked like hell. She glanced up. It took her a moment to register who I was. Her eyes looked haunted and she almost spoke, her mouth opening, then closing again. She ran back into the room, slamming the door behind her.
In her eyes, I must be the most abhorrent person alive. She’d already shown that. I never wanted to see her again, no matter how much it hurt because, if she looked at me, it’d only be with that hatred.
Then it struck me.
Had this all been part of her revenge plan? She’d made no bones about wanting to make me suffer. I’d thought of her as so innocent, still just a kid, but she’d played me. She’d got me twisted up inside.
She couldn’t have planned to get the support spot though. Or could she? I’d told Holden to ask Sally – and Sally and Dee had become very chummy.
Maybe I was a sucker. I thought I’d been the one holding all the cards but the only card I held was the joker. I even doubted Pete. He’d been very fast to take my peace offerings.
My apartment was cold, so I pumped up the heat but,
no matter what I did, I couldn’t get warm. I’d never be warm again. It was as if all the warmth had been sucked out of the world.
Even if she had planned this, if she’d been that conniving and ruthless, could I fault her? It was nothing more than I deserved.
Dee
Even a brief glimpse of Alex had been too much for me. I’d wanted to get out of here but now I had to wait to make sure he was gone. That’d be even worse than dealing with Pete or Ferdie.
Someone knocked on the door. I ignored it. If it was Alex, coming to try to explain things or talk his way out of this, I had no words for him. I’d knock him to the floor again.
The door opened. It wasn’t Alex, it was Carlie.
“Are you okay?” she said.
I tried to smile.
“Sorry, I made such a mess of things and after Holden had given us such a great chance. I’m an idiot.”
Carlie walked across the road and hugged me. I didn’t know her that well and normally I hated hugs but she made me feel like life wasn’t such a huge disaster after all.
“It’s not that bad,” she said, stroking my hair. “It’s really not.”
I pulled away a little.
“Come on, Carlie. I knocked Alex to the ground in the middle of his song. Well, not his song. He stole that song. It was Jake’s, my brother’s.”
She grinned. “Yeah, and it was awesome!”
“Huh?”
“You should’ve seen him, squirming around like a fish that’d jumped out of the tank. Not able to get up because his pants are so tight. It was in the top ten best moments of my life.”
She started to giggle and I actually smiled for real.
“I guess it would’ve been kind of funny. Is Holden angry at me?”
“Hell no. He’s been freaking out, wondering how to top that though. Did you hear the crowd screaming? They loved it. Half of them probably thought it was part of the act. The other half, well, they probably think you’re a jealous girlfriend or something. It’s not the end of the world, Dee.”
She sat on the table, pulling a beer out of the tub, shaking the water off it and handing it to me, then getting herself one.
“Pete will kill me.”
“Yeah, there is that. But you know what he’s like. If it gets the band attention, he’ll love it. You just have to put a positive spin on it for him. He’s not so tough.”
I sat down beside her, swigging on my drink. The beer tasted good.
“There’s a bigger issue, though. How do you feel about Alex?”
I shrugged.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay.”
I wondered how much Sally had told her.
“I really don’t know. I hate him. I really hate him. He destroyed my life.”
Carlie put her arm around me again, so I told her about Jake and the accident. Somehow, in the retelling, it didn’t seem so bad. Not that Jake had died but Alex’s part in it. I knew now that it hadn’t just been him being a total prick but that Jake too had played a part in it. That didn’t exonerate Alex but it didn’t make him a murderer, just an idiot with a bunch of other idiots. They’d done something stupid and Jake had been the one to pay the price.
“Now, I wonder, if it’d been the other way around, how I’d feel. If it’d been Alex who’d died and Jake driving the car. I’d never be able to hate Jake or hold him to blame. Of course, Jake would’ve paid the price for it. Our parents aren’t rich bastards who can get around the law.”
That was the point I’d never get over. He’d packed up and left the whole mess behind him. No matter what he’d said, that struck me as cowardly. Sure, I’d have been angry with him. People would’ve talked but he should’ve been able to handle that.
Carlie nodded.
“Was I too harsh? I hated Alex for so long. I just wanted to make him pay. God, what I wanted was for Jake to come back. For everything to go back to the way it’d been.”
“And the song?”
“The song was Jake’s. Alex stole it. He stopped me from playing it at the club. Forbid me from playing it. Then he got up and played it himself. That song is Jake’s. It’s the last song he wrote. A love song for someone, who knows who.”
Carlie laughed, not because she found that funny. It was a weird laugh.
“Hon, that song isn’t a love song.”
“What do you mean?”
“The part about emotions running through your veins, the joys, the highs. Everything about that song, it’s a love song to drugs. It sounds all bright and sunny but it’s a dark song. ‘You are going to destroy me but I welcome you into my arms’. What do you think that means?”
I’d never thought about it like that. Of course, when I first played the song, I had no idea Jake was into any of that. He’d just been Jake, my wonderful brother. The words made sense in a whole other way now.
“That still doesn’t excuse Alex.”
“It sure as hell doesn’t. Stealing someone’s song is a low move.”
“It’s the worst.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“What can I do?”
“You could fight Alex, get back the song rights. It might be a messy business though and, as you say, his parents are loaded. They could fight a long, drawn-out legal battle. Or you could talk to Alex. Ask him why he’s playing the song. Get it all out in the open. But first, work out what you want. Do you want him to stop playing it? Do you want the song for yourself?”
She patted my hair again.
“I don’t want it. Not now. How could I get up and play that song, knowing that? I have no idea what I want.”
But I did know what I wanted. I wanted Alex. I’d always wanted Alex. The song had made sense for me because that’s how I felt about him. He’d destroy me but I welcomed him. I’d rather be destroyed by Alex than happy with any other man.
“Be careful,” Carlie said.
I gave her a half smile and finished my beer.
“You should get up there and watch Holden,” I told her.
“Yeah, I really should. Come with me, you aren’t going to help yourself sitting down here, moping in the dark.”
She had a point. I followed her up to the stage. I was in no mood for a concert but then I was no mood for anything except crying out my pain.
Alex
I’d waited three days for the rumours to get around, for people to start talking about how we’d ruined our careers and we’d never play again. Instead, there was nothing. The only mention of the gig was a few people having a laugh about it but no more than that. It was like people didn’t care at all. No one was shocked or outraged.
Then the local music press came out. As soon as the guy dropped the bunch of papers off at the bar, I grabbed one. I thumbed through it, getting newsprint on my hands, looking for a review of the gig.
I found it, with a big photo of Holden King. Most of the review talked about Holden and predictions for his new album. Zero got mentioned as ‘a band to watch’, a few comments about our sound, then a note about a spectacular end to the performance. Dee’s band got called raw and powerful.
That was it? A spectacular end? That’s all they had to say. I felt like I’d been given a free pass. I mean, we did pay a decent amount for adverting for Trouble so maybe they’d been swayed in their opinion by that. The music press wasn’t the finest example of objective journalism in the world. Still, the less people reading about me being tackled to the ground, the better.
The world wasn’t going to end. Everything went on as before.
I had to meet with Matt from the record company to fill him on the recording sessions. He grabbed me a coffee and we got settled.
“Everything’s on track,” I said. “It’s coming together like magic.”
“That’s good,” he said. “We’ve got a few things in the pipeline, radio interviews and the like. My PA will email you the details.”
He talked on, I listened but I had something on my mind. I had to speak
up.
“There is one thing…”
He paused.
“It’s about ‘Fifteen Minutes of Sunshine’.”
“Awesome. We’re getting a good reaction to the preliminary cut. People just can’t get enough of that song.”
“Well, the thing, it’s not my song.” I didn’t look up from my coffee mug. It was so much not my song.
“But that doesn’t matter. Just let us know the holder of the rights and we’ll run it through legal. It’ll just be a formality really. Although, it might hold up the release. We’ve got everything ready to go with that song.”
“Is it possible to switch it out with something else? It’s a bit different to our usual sound anyway. We don’t want people getting the wrong idea.”
“Ha, yeah, if only that was possible. We’ve already invested a great deal of money in that track. If we pulled it now, it’s going to screw up all our plans. Like I told you, the higher-ups want that as the first release. Alex, I’ll tell you something just between the two of us. I don’t want to put pressure on you or anything, but pretty much if ‘Fifteen Minutes’ doesn’t get a stellar reaction, the money will stop. Personally, I’d love to support you, give you time to develop, but this is a business. The guys upstairs need to see profits.”
Hell, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“So, there’s no room for negotiation?”
“Not in this. Look, I’ll get you Jenny in Legal’s phone number. Just give her all the details and she’ll iron it out for you. It’s her job, she does it all the time.”
I wondered if Jenny in Legal dealt with people like Dee all the time because I was certain that some snotty corporate bitch contacting her about Jake’s song wouldn’t go down well.
As I walked out to the car, I realised it wasn’t about the song. If I just wanted the song, I was sure I could get Dee and her parents to agree. Everyone has their price and I’d be prepared to pay it. But, in the process, I’d slip even further away from Dee.
I beeped the doors unlocked.
Rock Revenge: Alex's Story (Access All Areas Book 4) Page 13