Under the privacy of the shed, he stopped, panting as though he had been in a race. He leaned on the wooden wall. Oh Lord, help me, Bernard pleaded. Please protect my heart from this woman. I cannot bear it again.
“Sir.”
Bernard jumped.
“Yes Derrick?” he replied focusing on his head ranch hand.
His eyes were blurry and he could only see a shadow of the man.
“We’re all set for tomorrow. The shearers are finishing up at the Moore’s farm and they’ll be here tomorrow morning.”
Bernard nodded. He wanted to be alone.
“Thank you. Let’s hope we don’t get any bad weather tomorrow,”
By now his vision had cleared and blood was flowing to all the veins in his body. His strength had returned. Derrick looked out and shook his head.
“No chance of that. The sky is clear, not a dark cloud in sight.”
“Good, let’s pray it remains so,” Bernard said and Derrick left.
Good manners dictated that he return to the house and welcome Joanna. He had no intention of showing her any good manners. The sooner she figured out that he knew the sort of woman she was, the faster she would get out of his life. In the month long period that they were to get to know each other before marrying, Bernard knew that she would be long gone. He intended to see to it.
FIVE
A New Life
“What happened to your hand?” Joshua asked in a muffled tone, his mouth stuffed with pancake.
Joanna had been expecting the question ever since she had arrived the evening before. Joshua was an intelligent boy and had discerned that under her sleeve, there was nothing. She smiled at him to show him the question did not make her uncomfortable.
“Well, a long time ago, I had a riding accident and I hurt my hand so badly that the doctors had to take it off,” Joanna explained emitting the grueling details.
He had stopped eating and his eyes were wide with fear.
“Was it painful?” he asked.
“Not really. The doctors gave me some medicine to make sure I don’t feel any pain.”
Joshua visibly shuddered. “I hope I don’t get my arm chopped off.”
“You won’t,” Joanna replied, her eyes misting.
She usually managed to keep a tight lid on the memories of that evening but now with Joshua reminding her of it, they burst out of the recesses of her mind. Her mother had been dead for five year and she and her father were still struggling to get used to life without the vibrant woman who had filled their two-roomed abode with so much joy.
Her father coped by taking to the drink and within a year, he was unrecognizable from the man he had been. Joanna had grown frightened of him and she steered clear by doing all her chores at the right time and going to bed early. Worse than the drinking, was the anger below the surface that could be ignited by the slightest thing. She had longed for change.
So when she met Tim Harding, funny, attentive, polite, he had seemed like a heaven. He said all the right things and courted her with single-minded focus. She had been over the moon. Then the accident had happened.
Invited to a foxhunting event in the countryside, Joanna could not have been more exited. Tim was making his way up the social ladder and he believed this would be the perfect opportunity for him to show off his fiancée. That day, the day that would change her life forever, had started like any other. It had ended in tragedy.
During the foxhunt, the hunting dogs had spooked the fox so it ran past Joanna’s horse. The horse had panicked and reared, throwing Joanna off. If that had only been the end of it. Through extreme bad luck she had landed on her wrist, in its panic the horse had trampled the small bones in the lower part of her arm. To this day, the memory of the physical pain of the event still made her ill.
When she came to, she was in a hospital, her arm heavily bandaged. Her grandmother sat next to her, tears streaming down her face. She had touched Joanna’s cheek and then gently kissed her good hand.
“All will be well my dear, the Lord is with you,” she had said quietly.
Bells had rang in Joanna’s mind at the devastation on her grandmother’s face. It was also the first time that Joanna had seen her since her mother’s funeral a year earlier.
“Where’s father?” Joanna’s voice trembled.
Her grandmother’s face hardened. “Probably in some gambling den, drinking himself to oblivion. Don’t worry my darling. I am taking you home with me.”
The words had left Joanna with mixed feelings. Why could he not be here for her? It had never been clearer that her father died the day her mother did.
“Where’s Tim?” Joanna then asked, suddenly afraid of the answer.
Her grandmother looked away, “He sends his greeting, but after consideration, has decided that your engagement is not a good match.” Joanna had been too stunned to know what to respond. Why would Tim, say or do such a thing?
She craned her neck to look at her bandaged hand. And that’s when she had noticed. There was no arm. The bandages went to her elbow.
“My arm! Where’s my arm!”
It had taken three nurses to pin her to the bed so that the doctor could inject medicine into her veins, sending her to blissful oblivion.
Joanna shook her head, determined to leave the memory behind. Her young protégé did not notice anything.
“The sheep are being cut their hair today, did you know?” Joshua offered.
It took a moment for Joanna to drag herself back to the present. Her eyes were wet and she wiped them delicately with her handkerchief.
“Is that where your father is this morning?”
Joshua nodded.
She had seen Bernard briefly during supper, where it had just been the three of them. Then after the housekeeper had cleared off the meal, he had disappeared without a word. She had taken Joshua to bed, kissed him on the forehead and headed off to her bedroom.
“Do you want to go and see?” Joshua asked.
“I’d like that,” Joanna said, her emotions still caught in the past.
She cleared out their dishes and carried them to the kitchen.
“Thank you, that was lovely,” Joanna told Rhoda.
The young woman nodded and smiled. “You’re welcome.”
Outside the summer sun was at its hottest and here in Wyoming, it felt much hotter than back home. She followed a skipping Joshua, while admiring the layout of the farm. Bernard had done well for himself, Joanna thought, turning back to look at the two story home. It contained all the conveniences of the city, including indoor plumbing. None of this mattered to Joanna. She had been prepared for a rough life in the new frontier, as was common to most settlers.
What was important to Joanna was getting along with Bernard. She had woken up in the morning with a resolve to do her best. There was no point in coming all this way and not try her best to get to know him. She smooth out her hair as she followed Joshua into a large room, joined to the sheep pen.
A myriad of activity greeted her and she stopped short at the entrance. Her eyes were transfixed to several men on the ground, each seated astride a sheep. Masses of fleece filled a table on the side.
“Good morning Ma’am,” a voice said and Joanna looked up to the man who looked to be in charge of the operation.
“Good morning, what’s going on here?” Joanna asked.
“It’s shearing season and all the ewes are getting a shave before lambing,” he said with a chuckle.
Joanna laughed too and then grew solemn. “Lambing?”
The noise from the shearing scissors made her move close to the man so that she could hear him better.
“Yes, all these ewes will soon have lambs, some in a couple of weeks’ time,” he explained.
Joanna’s face lit up into a smile. That would be something to look forward to. She noticed the man’s stance change and he bowed a little and left.
“Joanna!”
Bernard was walking towards her, holding a letter i
n his left hand, his features pinched. Her heart lurched. She felt butterflies flying around in her tummy. In the hours she had been asleep, Joanna had forgotten just how arresting his face was. She arranged a pleasant expression remembering her earlier decision to do everything she could to be on good terms with him.
“What are you doing here? You should be in the house!” he barked.
Joanna’s jaw dropped. Not so much as a good morning or even how she had slept on her first day? She jutted out her chin, anger coursing through her, rising her temperature.
“Why?”
He appeared momentarily confused by the question but he recovered soon enough.
“This is no place for a lady. Oh and in future, stay away from my ranch hands,” he sneered.
Joanna gasped. What was he implying? She glared into his eyes and saw that he meant what he was implying.
“What is—?
“Go to the house Joanna, that’s where you belong,” he replied and turned on his heels so that she had no choice but to follow him out of the shed.
Out in the sun, she stood as Bernard took long strides to the house. She could not bear to be within an inch of his presence.
She bit her lower lip and decided not to be controlled by his angry temper. Determined she turned around and decided to go exploring instead.
SIX
Painful Memories
Bernard galloped away in a cloud of dust, his heart a hard, cold slab of anger. He felt a fleeting moment of guilt. Joanna had borne the brunt of his anger. But seeing her there, laughing with Derrick, standing so close to him had thrown him into a jealous rage. The memory so similar to the time when he had found Susan with her hands wrapped around a ranch hand’s neck.
Even now, years later, his heart constricted with pain at the memory.
It had been the first time but not the last. He had forgiven her each time, after her hysterical apologies and promises to never hurt him again. Wanton women had no regard for promises, Bernard knew now. He thought of Joanna’s stunned expression and felt his doubts surfacing. Even Susan had not seduced his ranch hands within the vicinity of other people. He considered that he might be wrong about what he had seen, then dismissed the notion.
The thought discomfited him and he pushed Joanna to the back of her mind. This was not the time to think about her. He needed to clear his mind so that he could deal with the urgent matter on hand. The wind had picked up and the trees swished into a rising crescendo until their swishing erupted into one loud cracking noise.
Bernard looked up into the skies. The bright blue skies had lost their color, a sign of the ending of summer. The letter was tucked into the pocket of his denims, the contents stamped in his mind. Twenty-five cents a pound! It was preposterous. From last season’s, price of fifty-seven cents a pound?
He was determined to get to the bottom of it. Wool prices did not just drop. Bernard was sure that the buyer he dealt with was trying to undercut him. There were five major wool producers apart from himself and they all sold their wool to the same buyer. He reached Riverside town in just under two hours and he found the people he was looking for gathered in the small square where town meetings were usually held. He jumped off his stallion, tethered it to a pole next to other horses and strode to the small crowd.
“You got the letter then Bernard?” McGraw, his neighbor and fellow farmer asked without any pleasantries.
Bernard nodded grimly, looking from one face to another, searching for an explanation.
“Word has it that there’s a superior brand of wool in the East,” another farmer explained. “It’s said to be a crossbreed of merino and another breed.”
Bernard’s anger rose again. “It’s unethical to let us know of the price drop at the last minute. My shearers are working right now, why couldn’t we have been told earlier?”
“Mine’s packed and ready to be shipped! It’s conning us, that’s what it is. They reckoned by telling us at the last minute, we would have no choice but to sell the wool to them at that price,” another farmer added.
“No way,” Bernard said. “We’ll get another market.”
“Where at this time?” McGraw demanded.
Bernard’s brain worked fast. He had dealt with several other buyers over the years, but getting them would mean travelling to Kansas, which was a three-day journey.
“There as some middle men in Kansas,” he told them. “They might offer a better price.”
There was a heated discussion but finally three of them decided to travel immediately. Bernard was one of them.
“Kindly give word to my brother that I’ll be gone for several days,” Bernard said to one of the men who had decided to remain and take the low prices.
McGraw and the other man gave similar instructions for their families to be informed of their whereabouts.
“Let’s say a word of prayer before we depart,” McGraw suggested and Bernard liked the idea.
“Our father in heaven, we hereby ask for your blessings as we embark on this unplanned journey. Protect us from harm and keep our families safe. We pray for good tidings and that we return successful in our mission. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, amen,” McGraw prayed.
Bernard echoed the ‘Amen’ mounted his stallion and braced himself for the long journey ahead. They had decided to travel by horseback as it would be quicker. It was more dangerous as they intended to use the less used but faster routes. It would be a grueling journey but he was mentally prepared.
He thought of the hard work the previous year had entailed, making sure that the wool would turn out to be a good grade, and now this! There was no way that Bernard was going to sell his prized wool at twenty-five cents a pound. He was lucky though, that he was well cushioned for the future.
Due to wise spending and investing in growing financial companies as a silent partner, money wise, Bernard did not have any worries. But his pride was tethered on this. His wool was first grade and he would not have it sold at throwaway prices as though it were trash. They were soon leaving the town and galloped in a line, with Bernard’s horse leading the group.
His mind strayed to Joanna as they settled into a good pace and he wondered what she was doing now. He found himself curious about her past. How had she lost her arm? Why had she waited until she was twenty-six years old to get married and why as a mail order bride? The missing arm did not mar her beauty, if anything, it shrouded her in mystery and he knew many men would have wanted to unravel that mystery. His hand clenched his reins and his stallion protested. As he galloped on, he wondered if it was a prudent to leave her alone in his house for days.
SEVEN
The Children
Joanna pushed away the swaying golden tan wheat grass, as long as her height. “I can see you,” she said, hearing stifled giggles of the boys a few steps away. She could see their forms but decided to prolong the game by moving further away. She circled them and then with a warning that she was nearby, she came upon them.
They collapsed on the ground in laughter and Joanna felt her own laughter bubbling in her throat until she gave in to it, laughing until her sides ached. The last five days, she had taken Joshua and his cousin Jasper under her wing and she gave them reading lessons every morning.
She had been curious as to why David, the baby was kept at Bernard’s brother’s house. When she had queried Rhoda, the girl had looked embarrassed and said it was best she spoke to Mistress Hayward. So Joanna had done just that. The very next morning she went to see Naomi.
To her surprise Naomi was more than happy to hand over David in her care. Joanna struggled briefly when first holding the baby, but soon had him in a firm grip. He was adorable.
Naomi had not been exaggerating when she said any woman would instantly fall in love with him. Still it had been shocking to find out, Bernard’s ex-wife had left him for years, then come back at some point, just long enough to carry his second child then leave. What a strange woman.
She had died in childbirth, two cou
nties away and Bernard had been notified via telegram that he was a father. Naomi believe that was why he hadn’t yet taken to his son.
To say the morning had been full of surprises would be an understatement. Naomi was not well and she had confided in Joanna that she was heavy with a child.
Joanna had never given much thought to her own child but with Naomi expectant, she found herself thinking about it more and more. It would be wonderful to give Joshua and David a sister.
She gave a snort at her thoughts. She had not seen or heard from Bernard in five days, since he told her off in the shearing shed. She still could not fathom what had caused him to speak to her in such an abominable manner, but the distance had softened her stance. She was determined to ask him in a calm manner the cause of it.
That is, if he ever returned home. Henry had told her something about him going to speak to some buyers in Kansas and despite his assurance, she found herself worried over his safety. This annoyed her further, as she could not imagine why she was losing sleep over a man who clearly had no regards for her feelings.
She placed her hands on each of the boys’ shoulders and they walked together back to the house. The baby was soundly asleep in a sling tied across her back. It had been a good break for all of them and she could see they were now refreshed and ready for more lessons. She could see the sheep in the distance, looking strange without their wool, as though they were unclothed.
Everything was as it usually was, with Rhoda in the kitchen seeing to her chores, but Joanna felt strangely empty. She hated to think that Bernard’s absence was the cause but there was no other explanation for her desolate feelings.
“Do you need anything today Rhoda?” Joanna asked, as she carefully removed the baby from her makeshift carry sling.
“No ma’am, we have everything we need for the week, thank you,” the brown haired young woman answered.
Joanna nodded, picked the baby up and followed the boys to the dining room where they carried out their lessons. Three days earlier, the housekeeper had come to her with a worried look. She had explained to Joanna while wringing her hands that Mr. Bernard had left without replenishing the household supplies. Joanna had not thought twice about it. She had given the money needed and then Rhoda had taken the carriage to the town and bought everything they needed. She might have an empty heart, but they were all sure to not have an empty stomach over the next few days.
Mail Order Bride: JUMBO Mail Order Bride 20 Book Box Set Page 64