Somewhere Within

by Amy Hale

  Grandma Christine

  P.S.: I love the white in your hair. Never change that.

  “Whoa. This is too much to handle.” I carefully placed the letter on the jewelry box and moved it to my nightstand. I closed my eyes as I flopped myself back onto the bed. It blew my mind to think my grandmother knew a lot of what would come to be. Her words sunk into my heart and warmed my soul. A tear slid down my cheek as I realized that I missed her, and I’d never even met her. But she seemed to know me, and I think we would have gotten along wonderfully.

  My grandfather was a totally different story. I didn’t know how to take him. I believed that Grandma served as a cushion that softened Grandpa’s blows. But now she was gone, he was angry, and I was sure I had missed a vital part of that puzzle.

  Chapter 7

  Alarm. Clothes. Breakfast. The following day started out fairly normal. Well, as normal as it can be for someone who was half dragon. I did my best to keep my head down, focus on work, and not be noticed. I’d just stepped outside the school doors when Jordan approached me.

  “Hey, Zoey.” He smiled, and my insides began to melt.

  “Hi, Jordan.” I did my best to look confident and return his smile.

  He slipped his arms through his backpack and shifted the weight so it rested on his shoulders. “I like the new hair color. It’s . . . unique.”

  I couldn’t tell if he really liked it, or if it was simply kindness on his part. “Thanks. I wanted to try something different.”

  “You succeeded. It looks great on you.” He continued to smile at me, and I tried to focus less on that and more on his words.

  I looked down at my feet for a moment, hoping the rush of heat to my cheeks would quickly subside. “I’m glad you like it.”

  He stuck his hands in his pockets. “So, I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I’d have to check with my parents to be sure.”

  “Would you like to grab pizza with me? I thought we could go to Napoli’s.” He appeared to be a little nervous, and it was endearing.

  “Yeah, sure. That’d be nice.” I struggled to keep the tremble from my voice. I had to play it cool. It wouldn’t do to scare him off before I even had a chance to know him.

  “Great. I’ll pick you up around five thirty then, if that’s okay.”

  I nodded. “That’d be perfect.”

  He turned and jogged down the steps while I stood there, grinning like an idiot.

  I reached up and ran my fingers over my grandmother’s necklace, which brought me comfort. Maybe it was the connection to my grandmother. Or maybe the spell contained in the stone. I didn’t really know what brought about the soothing of my soul. All I could be sure of was that the necklace and I were fated to belong to one another.

  My dad pulled up in front of the school, and I quickly made my way to the car. After strapping in, I wasted no time in finding out the evening plans.

  “Are we doing anything special tonight?” I kept my voice casual.

  “Just the norm. Why? Have plans?” He grinned at me.

  “I do, if it’s okay. Jordan asked me to grab pizza with him tonight.” I pressed my lips together, trying to contain my enthusiasm.

  “Ah, I see. Sounds fun. Do you need a ride?” He kept his eyes on the road.

  “No, he’s picking me up,” I said as I dug through my backpack to be sure I’d packed my geography homework.

  “Glad to hear it. It’ll finally give me a chance to do the protective dad routine I’ve been practicing since I learned you were gonna be a girl.” We pulled up to a stoplight, and he rubbed his hands together like a villain from some corny superhero show.

  “Dad, please. Don’t embarrass me.” I felt sure I’d expire from utter humiliation if he did anything crazy.

  “Me?” he asked, his voice full of surprise and innocence.

  “Yes, you.” I pointed a finger at him. “You love pushing your dad boundaries. I can deal with the dad jokes, but antics like cleaning a gun in front of my date is too far.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t even own a gun, sweetheart. I do, however, own knives. Lots of knives.”

  “Dad . . .” I said in warning.

  He laughed the rest of the way to our street. I, on the other hand, contemplated the logistics of running away from home.

  Jordan and I sat in a booth at Napoli’s with a large cheese pizza between us. I’d debated how I should dress, but after a long argument with myself, the sensible side of my personality won, and I opted for a clean pair of jeans and a nice, but not too fancy blouse. Jordan had changed as well and looked amazing in his jeans and blue polo shirt.

  “This pizza is so good,” I murmured just before taking a bite of my second slice.

  “It’s the best.” He took a bite of his own and winked at me.

  “You said you’ve lived here all your life. Do you like it?” I thought that a safe place to start a conversation about his life.

  “Yes and no. Like all small towns, it has its pros and cons.” He took a sip of his cola.

  “Football team, lots of friends . . . I’m gonna guess the good outweighs the bad. You’ve got it made here.” I teased him, but his eyes were somber.

  “Don’t be so sure. School isn’t everything. We’ve discussed moving a couple of times, but it never worked out. I used to get frustrated by that, but now . . . Well, I’m glad I’m still here.”

  I tried not to blush. “I’m glad, too.”

  He reached across the table and took my hand in his. “I know we don’t know each other very well, but there is just something about you that I’m drawn to. You’re not like most of the other girls here.”

  Dude, you have no idea. “Oh, I’m pretty average. Nothing special about me.”

  “See, there’s where you’re wrong. Besides being unusually pretty, there is something about you that I can’t put my finger on. Something deep on the inside that is dying to come out.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand, and goosebumps raced down my spine. If he only knew how close to the truth he really was. Yet I’m not sure he could ever know. Kai’s words pricked at the back of my mind. His face invaded my thoughts, and I had to push the image away.

  “I know that sounds like a tacky pickup line,” he said, “but it’s the honest truth. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

  “Thank you. That’s very sweet.” I hoped my face expressed how much his words truly meant. I didn’t feel so much like an outsider in that moment.

  “I’ve gotta hit the restroom. I’ll be right back.” He scooted out of the booth and headed to the back of the restaurant. I’d just taken another bite of pizza when Kai sat down in Jordan’s seat.

  “I’ve warned you about Jordan. Why won’t you listen?” He was annoyed, and the frown he wore was severe.

  I reached up and touched my necklace. “No, you told me it was a bad idea, but you never really said why.”

  I was really getting tired of people trying to tell me what to do. I crossed my arms and stared him down, begging my emotions not to betray me. They didn’t listen. My skin prickled with awareness as Kai reached across the table and placed his hand over mine.

  His voice changed and became tender. “You will never have the normal life he’ll expect. Things will happen. You’ll change.” He leaned back against the seat. “How are you gonna explain the first time you change into a full-blown dragon in front of him? Think he’ll just laugh it off?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, Kai. It’s not like we’re engaged. We’re just hanging out. Take a Xanax and calm down.”

  “My, you’re certainly becoming outspoken,” he sneered.

  “How would you know? Outside of my secret, you know me even less than Jordan.”

  His eyes bored into mine. “I’m giving you fair warning. End it. You should be with me. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” He stood and walked away as if he hadn’t just threatened me.

  “Jerk,”
I muttered as I looked back down at my pizza and tried to slow my fluttering heartbeat. He was correct about one thing—I did suddenly gain an attitude that wasn’t my norm. I didn’t know where this confidence came from, but I liked it. The necklace again? Possibly. I wished the necklace could tell me why Kai and Jordan both appealed to me, and which one was the correct choice.

  Within minutes of Kai leaving, Jordan made it back to our table. “Sorry I took so long. I also had to call and check on my mom.”

  “No need to apologize. I think it’s great that you care for her so much. Is she ill?” I hoped I wasn’t being intrusive.

  “Uh, yeah . . . sorta. She wasn’t feeling well when I left earlier.” He seemed to have lost interest in his pizza.

  “Do you need to be with her? I don’t mind if you need to go.” I’d be disappointed, but family was important.

  He fidgeted in his seat and began to look uncomfortable. “I don’t want to go, but I should probably check on her in person.”

  I nodded. “Sure, we can try this again later. And there is always the ball.” I smiled to reassure him that I wasn’t in the least upset.

  “Thank you.” He quickly left his seat and went to the register to pay the bill. While I waited, the waitress came over and boxed up the remaining slices of pizza to go.

  He returned, I picked up the box, and we walked side by side to his car. We’d just buckled up when his cell phone buzzed. He pulled it out and frowned. “Hey, do you mind if we make a quick stop before I take you home?”

  “No, not at all.” I couldn’t help but be concerned by the way his face drained of color.

  He put the car in gear, and we sped down the street toward the south end of the town square. It wasn’t a far drive, but we arrived at our destination faster than I’d have thought humanly possible.

  We pulled up to Building B in an apartment complex called Havenwood Village. He slammed the car into park and turned to me. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  Before I had a chance to respond, he bolted out the door and took the steps two at a time. I saw him enter an apartment with the number 204 on the door. I sat quietly waiting, when I heard a loud crash. I forgot all about his request to stay, and I bounded up the stairs after him.

  When I pushed open the door to the apartment, I found Jordan hunched over a woman lying on the floor. He sat her upright. Blood dripped from her mouth, and a bruise covered her cheek.

  “I’m here, Mom. I’m here,” he soothed as he pulled her close to him.

  “Jordan? Is everything okay?” I wanted to help, although in truth I felt totally helpless.

  His eyes snapped to mine. “No, thank you. I thought you were going to wait in the car.” He sounded a little angry.

  “I was, but then I heard a crash, and it worried me.”

  His eyes drifted to a spot on the opposite wall where the remains of a lamp lay in pieces.

  “It’s nothing I can’t take care of.” Ice laced his words, and I realized I was completely out of place. I was an intruder, and he didn’t want me there.

  “Okay, sorry. I’ll just go back downstairs.” I turned and carefully made my way down the steps and to his car. I struggled with the idea of waiting on him or calling my parents. In the end, I settled on walking home. As I crossed the town square, I spotted the gazebo. I was drawn to it, and before I realized what I had done, I found myself seated just inside the latticework.

  The chill in the air surrounded me, yet once again I found I didn’t really need a coat or my hoodie, though I wore it anyway. Normally, I’d have been shivering by now. This dragon trait made me immensely grateful in that moment. I hated being cold.

  Jordan’s red Toyota slowed to a stop at the curb across from me. He got out and cautiously walked toward me. I wasn’t sure if I should be worried or mad. He behaved like a jerk back there, and I only tried to help. Kai’s face flashed in my mind, and I pushed it away for the second time that night.

  Jordan reached the railing and leaned against it. “Hi.”

  I looked up at him, a frown creasing my face. “Hi.”

  I had no enthusiasm left to give at the moment. First Kai, and now this. I was tired.

  “I’m sorry about that back there. I’m not used to . . . I mean, not many people know about . . . that.” He fidgeted and kicked the tip of his tennis shoe in the dirt.

  “I won’t tell anyone. I’m not a gossip.” It hurt that he might not trust me.

  “I know. It’s not that.” He stepped up onto the wooden flooring and walked to stand beside me. “Can I sit?”

  I motioned to the empty spot beside me.

  He perched his butt on the edge and crossed his legs out in front of him. “My dad hits my mom. I can’t stop it.”

  I could hear the distress that admission caused him.

  “I’m so sorry, Jordan. I don’t know how you’d stop something like that. Can you call the police?” I hoped I wasn’t asking a stupid question.

  He shook his head. “The first time I did, Mom lied and told them that she’d fallen down the stairs. She had bruises on her arms from where she’d tried to block his blows. That was just a minor one.” He sighed. “She wouldn’t press charges or tell the truth, so I knew it was a waste of time after that.”

  “Why not?” I asked, then realized I probably knew why. For the same reason I didn’t want to pursue Katy and her friends after they hit me. I feared it would only get worse.

  “She loves the jerk. And I think she’s afraid he’d kill her once he got out of jail.” He turned to me with tears in his eyes. “He will, ya know. He’ll kill her. And me, too. He’s only hit me once, and that time my mom lost it on him, but it didn’t change anything. Now I work to keep the peace as much as possible. I can tell when he’s had a bad day, so I check on her if I’m not home. She didn’t answer the phone, so I knew something was wrong.”

  My heart broke for him. I couldn’t imagine living in that kind of environment—seeing someone you love hurting someone else you love. No one deserved that.

  I reached over and took his hand. “Don’t feel guilty. You are doing all you know to do.” I swallowed. “If you ever need someone to talk to, or just want to get away for a bit, feel free to call me. It’d be a privilege to be there for you.” He nodded, but I wanted more. I wanted a smile. “Wow, now who’s using the cheesy pickup lines?”

  He smiled then, and my heart almost stopped beating. I did that. I caused that beautiful smile in a sad moment.

  He sat back on the bench a little and adjusted so he faced me, then he leaned forward, and before I knew what happened, he kissed me. At some point, I must have closed my eyes, because I had to open them to look into his.

  He smiled and ran a finger down my cheek. “You really are amazing, Zoey. I’m so glad I know you.”

  I shivered at his touch. “I’m glad I know you, too.” This time I closed the gap between us, and I had the first real, heart-stopping kiss I’d ever experienced.

  Chapter 8

  Jordan continued to kiss me. A thrill ran through me as his lips touched mine over and over. His hands began to roam over my body, and while I liked his touch, I knew this pushed the limits for a first date. I kept my eyes closed and pushed his hands to my back, where they belonged. He moved them to explore my body once again, this time with more force, and my eyes flew open to protest, then I screamed.

  I wasn’t kissing Jordan. I was kissing Kai! His seductive smile and bedroom eyes pulled me in. I didn’t want to want him, but I did. He put one hand in my hair and pulled my head back, giving him access to my neck. He kissed lightly, and I couldn’t stop the groan that escaped my lips.

  He moved to my ear and whispered, “See, Zoey? See how it could be between us? Don’t fight it.”

  Knocking interrupted yet another passionate kiss. He pulled back and whispered, “Go away.”

  The knocking continued, so this time I repeated his words, but louder. “Go away.”

  “Zoey? Are you up yet? We have a busy d
ay ahead of us.”

  Mom? Why is Mom here?

  The knocking became louder.

  I bolted up in bed and rubbed my face. Mom knocked on my bedroom door again, then opened it.

  “You need to get around, sleepyhead. We have so much to do before the Cold Moon Ball tomorrow.” She winked at me, then closed the door behind her.

  A dream? Oh, thank God it was a dream. The tension drained from my body. I really hated that I’d dreamed about Jordan and Kai had forced his way in. Jordan and I had only gone on the one date, but it felt like I had cheated on him. We weren’t officially an item yet, so cheating wasn’t really an issue, but after last night’s kiss, I’d hoped there was a future for us. If only I could get Kai out of my head.

  I quickly dressed and went to the kitchen to help. Everyone worked on prepping for the celebrations that would follow on Sunday. Even my mom jumped in on the action by baking pies for the huge meal that preceded the ball.

  The doorbell rang just as I had intended to ask Mom what she needed me to do.

  “Saved by the bell,” I quipped. Then I yelled down the hall as I walked to the front door, “I’ll get it.”

  I swung it open to find Aunt Jetta standing on the other side.

  “Hey, kiddo! How are you?” I hadn’t even said hello when she pushed her way in and started touching my hair. “Oh my gosh. This is gorgeous! I wish my hair would have done this.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, it’s been an attention-getter, all right.”

  She hugged me and looked down into my face. “Seriously though, how are you? Are you handling all this change okay?”

  I nodded. “For the most part. I’m learning to be okay with it.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. Would you like to have a girls’ day out—just you and me? It would let us get acquainted better.” The excitement in her features rubbed off on me, and I realized I really did want to go.

  “I would, but I feel like I should help with the Cold Moon stuff.” I tried to hide my disappointment. I liked Aunt Jetta. She oozed fun from every pore.