Several minutes later, they were driving up the hill toward Zane and Honor’s house. Wearing a supportive bra over her engorged breasts, she picked the bulkiest sweater she could find. Jackson had assured her that it would only take a week or so before her body clued in that no milk was needed. For now, her boobs were hard as rocks and painful. She hoped going out would take her mind off the pain.
“It’s good we’re taking Jubie,” her mother said. “The child needs to have some fun while her parents are busy with her new brother. Older sisters can be very jealous, you know.”
“Was I jealous?” Sophie asked as they pulled into Zane and Honor’s driveway.
“Terribly. You told us to take him back to the hospital,” her mom said. “Micky, what did she tell us?”
“Something like, ‘We have no need for him here.’”
Sophie laughed. “I’m glad you didn’t take him back. I wish he was here.”
“Me too,” her dad said. “But there’s no way we can compete with a beautiful French girl in the South of France.”
Her mother sighed. “Do you think it’s serious with this girl? What if he never comes home?”
“If that happens, we’ll need to start spending a month in Paris every year,” her dad said.
Jubie bounded out the door and ran to the car. She was dressed in a red coat and black Mary Janes. Honor had pulled Jubie’s hair back in a big red bow.
“Hi, Aunt Sophie,” Jubie said as she climbed into the back seat. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Woods. Thank you for picking me up. Mama was going to ask Violet and Kyle, but they have all those babies, so she didn’t want to put them out.”
Sophie’s mom twisted around to look at them from the front. “It’s our pleasure. We love an excuse to see Santa.”
“Is he really going to be there?” Jubie asked.
“I have it on good authority,” Sophie’s dad said, wriggling his eyebrows at Jubie from the rearview mirror.
They headed down the hill into town. The afternoon was dark and gloomy, but the lights strung in trees and along the storefronts made everything cheery. Sophie’s spirits lifted even higher. She loved Christmas. Now that she was no longer pregnant, maybe she’d have a drink.
A few minutes out of town, they turned into the driveway to Dog’s Brewery. The front parking lot was full. Her dad dropped them at the door and went off to find parking in the back lot. She and Jubie held hands as they walked through the double doors.
The roar of a jammed restaurant smacked her in the face. Conversely, lights strewn through the industrial-style rafters twinkled and cast a soft glow. Tables in the main portion of the dining room were mostly full. On a platform in the far corner, Maggie, accompanied by her guitar, sang “Jingle Bells.”
A long line of children waited for Santa, who was set up in the corner of the main room of the brewery. Little ones also waited in line to have their face painted. A balloon master twisted balloons into animals for a delighted crowd of grade-school kids.
In the bar area, a young crowd of twentysomethings and college students home for holiday break stood in clumps along the length of the counter. Every seat around the tall bistro tables in the bar was occupied by adults without children with them. Several bartenders pulled beer from the draft tabs. Servers hustled about serving food.
Jubie pulled on her arm. “Aunt Sophie, will you take me to see Santa?”
“Sure thing,” Sophie said.
Her mom offered to find a table and keep watch for Sophie’s dad to come in from parking the car.
Sophie took Jubie to the end of the line. They chatted about the weather and various other benign subjects with the people ahead of them until it was their turn. Without a backward glance, Jubie climbed into Santa’s lap.
“What would you like, little girl?” Santa asked.
“I’d like a chemistry set and a dollhouse,” Jubie said.
Sophie stifled a laugh.
“I see. And is there anything else?” Santa asked as his fake beard wobbled.
“Well, if it’s not too much trouble, could you send my aunt Sophie a husband?”
Sophie did a double take. What had she just said?
Jubie pointed at her. “That’s her. She gave my mama and dad a baby by growing him in her stomach.”
Santa glanced at her with a questioning look. Sophie gave a small wave. “Hey, Santa.”
“Well, it sounds like your aunt Sophie has been an especially good girl this year. I’ll see what I can do,” Santa said.
Jubie jumped from his lap. “Thanks, Santa.”
Sophie gave Santa a smile as Jubie ran off to find their table.
Santa gestured for her to come nearer.
“Fine, but I’m not sitting on your lap,” Sophie said.
Santa chuckled. “I’m a married man, Aunt Sophie.”
She squinted at him. Where did she know those eyes? She drew closer and whispered in his ear. “Dax, is that you?”
“Guilty.”
“You had me fooled,” she said. Santa was being played by Dax, Mary’s dad—Flora’s husband. They’d fixed his beard so that it covered most of his face. Hopefully Jubie hadn’t noticed.
Dax took her hand and gave it a fatherly pat. “How are you, Sophie?”
She smiled down at him. “You know, I’m good. Coming out tonight and being with Jubie makes me feel almost normal. And my parents are here.”
“I’m glad. That said, I will put in a word with the big guy about finding you a husband.”
“You know the real Santa?” she asked, teasing.
“Sure. We go way back. What kind of man should I ask for?”
She thought for a moment. “How about one who helps to make the world more beautiful? He should be mature and ready for a relationship. A family man type of guy.” What other qualities was she looking for? “He’s been through a few things, so he’s humble and able to appreciate the small stuff. Smart and kind. Yes, he has to be kind. I suppose he’ll have to understand this thing I did for my brother and overlook the stretch marks Sebastian gave me.”
His eyes twinkled up at her. “Anything else?”
“I wouldn’t mind if he was a wine and food connoisseur. And he must like the beach. Bonus points if he surfs. I mean, if you’re taking the list to the big guy, I should go for broke, right?”
“I’ll be sure to tell him everything exactly as you’ve asked.”
She turned to go, but he put a hand on her forearm.
“Sophie, what you did—it’s remarkable. If anyone deserves to be on the nice list, it’s you.”
Touched, she thanked him and quickly got out of there. Children were waiting in line.
She found her parents on one end of long communal table. When Zane had run the idea of communal seating by her, she’d been enthusiastic. What better way to create strong communities than one in which bread could be broken with strangers? Food and drink had a way of bonding people.
Sophie sat next to her mom just as Jubie spotted some friends from school and ran off to look at the gingerbread houses on display. While her dad ordered beer and pizza, Sophie looked around the brewery. Kyle and Violet were across the aisle with their brood of four. The twins, four months now, kicked their legs from matching car seats on either side of Kyle’s chair. Mollie was on Violet’s lap, drinking from a sippy cup. Dakota bit into a piece of pizza as big as his head, his hair shining under the lights.
She sighed at the beauty of it all.
Her mom gave her a long, searching look. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“What? Yes, I’m fine.” She smiled to reassure her. “Maybe a little tired.”
“We won’t stay long,” her dad said. “We got Jubie to Santa, so that’s all that matters.”
Sophie chuckled. “I had a talk with Santa as well.” She told them of her conversation with Dax.
Her mother stroked Sophie’s back. “You’re awfully young. You have years and years to find the right person.”
“No reason to
rush it,” her dad said.
“You’ll change a lot in your twenties,” her mom said. “Things you thought you wanted, you might not anymore.”
“I feel about a hundred years old right now,” Sophie said.
“You’ve been through a big ordeal.” Her mom continued to stroke her back. “Just give it some time. You’ll bounce back.”
“We’re also glad it’s over,” her dad said. “It’s time for you to get back on track.”
“Having fun. Being twenty-two,” her mom said.
“I talked with Zane about the wine bar,” she said. “He’s all for it.”
Her parents exploded with their usual enthusiasm. After a few utterances of “wonderful” and “you’ll be a huge success” and “we’re so very proud of you,” a pitcher of beer arrived. Sophie gratefully accepted a pint when her dad offered her one.
They sipped in silence and watched Jubie and her friends exclaim over a balloon elephant. Out of the corner of her eye, Sophie noticed several people sit at the other end of their table. She turned to say hello, but her outgoing father had already beaten her to it.
“You folks from here?” he asked.
A young man, no older than sixteen, shook his head. “No, we’re from up north.”
The angular woman across from him smiled politely. “We used to live in Cliffside Bay, when my guy here was only six. I had to leave to find work, but a part of me always stayed. I’m Nina, and this is my son, Tim.” She paused to take in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly as if trying to get control of her emotions. “This town saved my life. Or, rather, a man in this town saved my life. He played Santa that year.”
The hair on the back of Sophie’s neck rose. Goose bumps prickled her skin. “Did you say he played Santa?”
“Yes. His name was Hugh Shaw. He owned The Oar. Do you know him?”
Sophie’s mouth dropped open. All she could do was stare at her for a long moment. “Yes, I do.”
“Do you know how I could get in touch with him?” Nina asked.
Sophie sensed rather than saw that her mother had gone completely still next to her. She caught her father’s eye. He nodded at her encouragingly.
“I’m sorry,” Sophie said. “But he passed away last year.”
The woman’s face fell. “Shoot. I knew I should’ve come before now. It’s just hard to get away from work. I’m a nurse in a treatment center.”
“She’s very dedicated to her job,” Tim said, speaking for the first time.
“Hugh helped me get sober ten years ago,” Nina said. “He did something so kind, so unbelievable—something no one else would do.”
“What did he do?” Sophie asked, even though she knew the story.
Nina’s voice shook with emotion. “Hugh listened to me like I was a person worth something when I was at my lowest. Other than my husband, no one, even before I was drinking, had ever treated me like I mattered. He never chastised me for being a terrible mother, even though I was at the time. He was kind to me.”
Sophie’s eyes filled. “I’m Sophie Woods. Hugh was my father. My biological father. Long story.” She gestured toward her parents. “These are my mom and dad. We only recently found Hugh and my half brother and sister.”
“Did you get to meet him before he passed?” Nina asked.
“I did. Unfortunately, he had Alzheimer’s. He didn’t even know the son he raised by the time I met him.”
Nina was shaking her head in obvious sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”
Sophie pointed to the corner, where Maggie was singing “Winter Wonderland.” “That’s my half sister. We share a mother.”
“I see.”
“Like I said, it’s a long story.” Sophie smiled. How could she explain about Honor? She had a sudden urge to share Honor’s part in Nina’s redemption. “There’s more to the story. My half brother, Hugh’s son, married the young woman who helped Hugh help you.”
“Go on,” Nina said.
Sophie explained about Honor the elf and how she’d followed Tim home that day. “Honor was raised in foster homes and had a rough childhood. She had a heart for the little boy named Timmy. And for you. Her mother was an addict. She wasn’t one of the lucky ones. Her addiction eventually killed her.”
“I’m sorry,” Nina said.
Sophie knew she truly was.
“Anyway, she came running back to tell Hugh about what she’d seen. He immediately went out and bought a fire truck for Tim.”
“I know the rest,” Nina said with a sad smile. “He brought over a meal and we talked all afternoon.”
“I still have that truck,” Tim said.
“Could I meet her? Honor?” Nina said. “I’d like to thank her.”
“How long are you here for?” Sophie asked, almost laughing. How did she explain the next part of their story?
“A week or so. We’re here for the entire school break. I married a doctor I met at work five years ago. We have two small children. I’m doing a lot better at mothering this time around.”
Tim squeezed his mother’s forearm from across the table. “You did just fine the first time around, too. I don’t even remember the bad period.”
“I thank God for that,” Nina said.
“It’s weird, like a miracle, that you’re here tonight,” Sophie said. “Because my sister-in-law told me your story just yesterday. When we were waiting for her baby to be born.” Sophie patted her stomach. “Honor can’t have children, so I was their surrogate. Sebastian Hugh was born yesterday.”
Nina’s mouth opened, then closed. “Oh my.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” Sophie’s mom suddenly piped up. “We’re a complex family, but not a complicated one. In that, there are a few quirks of the family tree, but we all love one another very much. As Sophie’s adopted parents, we’re blessed to have broadened our family when Zane and Maggie found their half sister.”
That seemed to have given Nina enough time to gather herself. “You did this incredible thing for Honor and your brother.”
“That’s right,” her father said. “Our Sophie’s a special person, just like Hugh.”
Nina looked over at her son. “Do you see what I mean, Tim? Kindness comes back around.” She turned to Sophie. “Honor and Hugh did this kind thing for us and years afterward, she was rewarded with your incredible act of generosity.”
“It does seem that way,” Sophie said.
“Which means something totally badass is coming your way,” Tim said.
They all laughed.
When the table settled down, Sophie answered Nina’s previous question. “Honor would love to see you. She’s remembered you all these years and prayed that you all landed on your feet. Knowing how well you’re doing will give her a lot of joy. She was very close to Hugh. He saved her life too.” The more she learned of her father, the prouder she became. And the more determined to spend her life trying to be like him. “But with the new baby and her seven-year-old, she’s a little busy for the next few days.”
“We’re here through the new year.” Nina pulled a card from her handbag. “Here’s my number. Please, call me if she has a moment to see me. I just want to thank her.”
“I will.” Spontaneously, she gave Nina a hug. “Thank you for being here. Your story is just what I needed.”
SOPHIE DREAMED THAT night of another sheet in the journal of letters from her father.
Dear Sophie,
What you’ve done is more than most people will ever do in their lifetimes. You gave your brother and Honor a gift that will bring many, many happy moments to their lives.
I know you. You will have the most satisfying life. A man will come to you soon. You’ll fall for him quickly and you’ll know in your heart that he’s the one for you, even if it takes him and a few others in your life longer to realize it. Not everyone has your clear vision.
My girl, I’m so proud of your heart. Remember, your mother and I are watching you from here. We’ll be there with you, even if you can�
��t see us. We’re in the whisper of the wind and the rustling of leaves and the cadence of the waves.
Love,
Dad
When she woke, it was just after 2:00 a.m. She pulled the covers up around her chin and listened to the night. If she listened hard enough, would she hear the bells of Santa’s sleigh? When she was a child, she often woke in the early hours of Christmas morning, excited at the prospect of Santa bringing presents for her family. Over the years, she’d asked Santa for an Easy-Bake Oven, a doll, Barbie’s restaurant, a kit to make homemade soda. It wasn’t hard to predict her passion. Owning a restaurant had been a dream come true. When she found Zane and learned of her birth father’s bar and grill, so much of her personality had made sense.
Wide-awake now, she got out of bed and went to the window. She lifted the shades. Main Street was deserted this time of morning. People were tucked into bed with visions of sugarplums in their heads. Holiday lights twinkled from the trees. Up the hillside, Christmas trees sparkled from windows.
She spoke silently to her father.
I’ll spend my life trying to be like you.
Honor
ON CHRISTMAS EVE, HONOR sat in the rocking chair her husband had refinished and fed Sebastian. He sucked with surprising strength. The boy knew what he wanted. When he finished, she burped him. He slumped against her shoulder, falling asleep. Instead of putting him in his crib, she continued to rock him. The weight and warmth of him a miracle she would not take for granted. She suspected all women felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude and awe during the first days after their baby’s birth. However, women like her, who could not carry a baby in their own body, might feel an even deeper gratitude. Hugh Shaw had told her many times that anything that came hard was appreciated more.
She put her mouth to his bare head and breathed in his scent. Whatever you need, I’ll give you. I’ll never abandon you.
Before the drugs and booze, had her own mother felt this way about Honor? Had she considered her birth a miracle, or was she too young and poor to see it that way?
She would never know. Her mother had been gone from her life since Honor was six years old. There was no way to ask her.
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