A soft knock on the door caused her to look up from Sebastian. Jubie stood in the doorway, clutching her blanket that Honor had had made out of Jubie’s old clothes. Honor had not seen her carry the blanket around the house for months. Usually she used it only for snuggling in bed.
When she first came to live with them, Jubie was reluctant to give up her former clothes despite their being much too small for her. They were the clothes her mother had bought her, she’d told them. She didn’t want to part with the wardrobe her mother had chosen for her. Honor had solved the problem by asking her friend Violet to sew them into a patchwork blanket. Since the moment it was done, Jubie had slept with it every night. When she left for school, Jubie always folded it into a neat square and left it under her pillow.
“Is it okay if I come in?” Jubie asked. The wary expression on her face was one Honor recognized from an earlier time. When Jubie had first come to live with them, she’d stared at Honor in just the same way. Will you send me away?
Honor had understood Jubie’s fear at the time. Heck, she understood it now. Any little person who loses their mother at six years old and is sent to live with strangers asks themselves the inevitable questions. Will they want me? Am I enough?
The first time Honor had looked into Jubie’s eyes, she’d seen the dreadful emptiness that comes from losing one’s mother too young. Zane had felt sure there were no two people more suited to adopting Jubie than the two of them. His mother had disappeared when he was a baby. Her mother had chosen drugs over a life with her, setting in motion years of one foster home after another. Motherless children. A club no one wanted to join.
Which is why she’d vowed to nurture Jubie as if she’d come from her own body. It had been surprisingly easy to love the little girl. So effortless Honor had wondered how it was possible that every foster home she’d been sent to was barren of love.
“Of course you can come in, love,” Honor said to Jubie.
Jubie nodded and started toward them but tripped on the throw rug and almost fell. She giggled as she righted herself. “Sorry, Mama. I forgot about the rug.”
The nursery had previously been a home office. When they found out the baby was a boy, the three of them had looked at paint colors and furniture together. Jubie had picked the soft blue for the walls. Zane had chosen the blanket decorated with vintage trucks as well as the airplane lamp. Honor had ordered the softest dark blue rug she could find. Perhaps it was the memory of all the cold floors she’d endured as a child that had prompted the decision. All she knew was that her children would never have cold feet in her home.
Jubie stood next to her. Honor took a good long look at her daughter. Jubie’s dark eyes no longer displayed trepidation and mistrust. The gray crescent moons under her eyes had disappeared. A hollowness in her face had been replaced by plump cheeks. At their latest school conference, Jubie’s teacher described her as clever, outgoing. She displayed high levels of self-confidence and leadership. Honor had laughed to herself. Jubie was bossy, like her adopted mother.
However, now, she reminded Honor of the little girl who’d first come to them. She’s afraid I won’t love her anymore now that the baby has come.
This was no ordinary sibling jealousy. These feelings were deeply entrenched.
“Jubie, take this and put it on the dresser, please.” She handed Jubie the bottle.
Jubie dutifully set it next to the other empty bottle and turned back to watch her.
Honor stood and placed Sebastian in the crib. His mouth opened but closed just as quickly as he turned his head to the side, soundly asleep.
She offered a hand to her little girl and they walked together out of the nursery to Jubie’s room. The bedside lamp was on, shedding a warm light in the yellow room. Jubie loved white-and-yellow daisies and asked if her room could be decorated with them as the main source of inspiration. A tattered copy of The Night Before Christmas lay open on the bed. The three cats were curled together in their favorite spot at the end of Jubie’s bed, where they slept every night. They were siblings, but only orange-and-white Skittle and Starburst looked alike. Their brother, Licorice, was black-and-gray striped. Like the ginger women Honor knew, Starburst and Skittle were feisty and full of life. Licorice was timid and sweet. He’d never met a lap he didn’t love.
“Daddy said we should start a tradition and read that,” Jubie said, pointing to the book.
Honor smiled as she walked into the closet. “His dad used to read it to him every Christmas Eve.” She reached onto the top shelf to grab the holiday pajamas she’d secretly bought for Jubie.
“How come?” Jubie asked from the dresser where she’d pulled open the pajama drawer.
“I don’t know exactly,” Honor said. “I never had traditions when I was a kid.” She held up the pajamas for Jubie to see. “These are for you. I got a pair for Daddy and me too.” They were red flannel scattered with tiny reindeer. “That way we can all match when we open our presents tomorrow.”
Jubie’s face lit up. “They’re cool.”
She set them on the bed. “Let’s get you in the bath first. I detect some cookie frosting in your hair.”
While the tub filled with warm water, Jubie got undressed.
Honor felt the temperature with her hand. “Perfect. Get on in here, Christmas Cookie.”
“Mama, I’m not a cookie.” Jubie giggled as she stepped into the water.
Honor scrubbed her up, then washed her hair. Jubie scrunched her eyes closed as Honor poured water over her head to wash out the soap.
When they were done, Honor wrapped a towel around her and rubbed her back. Jubie purred like one of the cats.
After a quick blow-dry and thorough toothbrushing, Honor had Jubie get her jammies on and get into bed. Her watch told her it was just a little after eight. Usually Jubie was in bed by seven thirty, but Christmas Eve was an exception.
“Where’s Daddy?” Jubie asked as she settled against the pillows.
Daddy was in the garage putting together a new dollhouse. Hopefully without too much cursing.
“He’ll be up in a few minutes to join us for the book,” Honor said.
Starburst lifted her head and yawned, before plopping her head back onto her paws. Skittle stretched out playfully and meowed. Licorice inched his way up the bed until he was next to Jubie.
Jubie patted his head with one hand and reached out for her blanket with the other, watching Honor with her big eyes. “Mama, how come you didn’t have traditions? Is it because you lived in so many different places?”
“That’s right.”
“Were you sad at Christmas?” Jubie asked.
Honor always answered honestly when Jubie asked these sorts of questions. “Yes.”
“But you’re not sad now?”
“I’m the opposite of sad.” Honor slipped in next to her on the double bed and rested her head on the pillow.
Jubie turned to face her. Nose to nose, Honor could smell Jubie’s minty breath.
“Mama?” Jubie studied her.
“Yes?”
“Will you ever send me away?”
“No. Never. You’re my daughter.”
“Even though Sebastian’s here?”
“Have you been worried about that today?”
Jubie’s intense eyes cast downward, as if examining the locket that nestled in the hollow of Honor’s neck. “I’ve never seen you look at me the way you do him.”
Honor smiled and brushed Jubie’s hair away from her face. “That’s because you can’t always see me when I’m looking at you.”
“I see you right now.”
“And what do you see?”
Jubie shrugged. “I don’t know. Just you.”
“Well, just me loves you with all my heart. Do you know what happens when you become a mom for the first time?”
“No.”
“Your heart gets bigger. When you came into my life, I thought my heart was already super big. It loved Daddy and my friends and Grandpa Hu
gh. I had no idea how big it could become once you came into my life. You made it ten times bigger.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Is it even bigger now that Sebastian’s here?”
“No. It’s the same size. You made it just the right size for both of you,” Honor said.
“Because I’m the oldest.”
“That’s right. As the oldest, you have a lot of responsibility. You have to look after your little brother.”
Jubie’s eyes widened as she nodded solemnly. “I will.”
She smoothed Jubie’s hair away from her cheek. “I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”
“I love you too.” The muscles in Jubie’s face softened.
A creaky floorboard drew their attention to the doorway. Zane had Sebastian in his arms. He grinned at them. “We’re not too late for the story, are we?”
“No, we were waiting for you, Daddy.” Jubie patted Licorice on his bottom. “Okay, kitty, you have to move now. That’s Daddy’s spot.”
Licorice stood, an annoyed look on his face, and then sauntered to the end of the bed as though it was his idea.
Honor scooted over a few inches so Jubie could be more in the middle of the bed. Zane handed her the baby and sat next to Jubie.
“Honey, will you read?” Honor asked.
Zane settled back against the pillows. Jubie nestled in the crook of his arm. “You turn the pages, Jubie,” he said.
She agreed with a happy nod of her head.
Zane began. “’Twas the night before Christmas...”
The cats purred from the end of the bed, as if they too were delighted to hear the story of Santa’s visit. Sebastian wriggled and kicked his adorable toes out of his blanket. Honor tucked the plump, perfect foot back in and snuggled him closer to her chest. The weight of him in her arms was already familiar. She may not have made him in her womb, but he was made for her arms. She knelt over Jubie’s head and inhaled the smell of her freshly washed hair. The scent of heaven.
The family she’d yearned for all her life was complete. Yet she knew how easily two battered souls once abandoned by their mothers could have walked away in a desperate attempt at self-protection. If not for the grace of God, this family she’d yearned for would not be.
She sneaked a look at Zane’s profile. His lashes cast shadows over his fine cheekbones as he opened the worn book to the first page. Her husband. The father of her children. Her sweetheart. Tonight, as always, she would fall asleep next to his warm bulk knowing they were stronger together than apart and that the love between them was the deepest blessing of her life. Without him, none of this would be possible. Her time before him was like an old movie, gray and faded with a scratchy soundtrack. And now, look at her life, in full color with Zane’s voice as the soundtrack. Here was her family snuggled together, content and warm. On Christmas Eve of all things—the loneliest night of the year for the little girl no one wanted. If only she could have known that her life would end up like this. If only she could go back in time and whisper to herself. Don’t despair. You’ll have children and a beautiful home. A man will love you more than his own life.
She shivered as an image of the last time she’d seen her mother played before her eyes.
But no. Going backward served no one. She must be here and present. Zane wanted her. The children needed her. To love them as they deserved, she must not operate from a place of hurt or anger but of forgiveness and love.
She closed her eyes for a moment and remembered the little girl who had once watched out of the back window of a stranger’s car as her mother’s prone body became smaller and smaller until Honor was alone with her grief and terror. For a moment, she let the darkness of those days dwell in her chest, and then she tossed the black sorrow away, imagining it drifting out the window and into the damp night.
Goodbye, little girl no one wanted. You can finally rest in peace. I’m finally where I belong.
Zane interrupted the story to meet her gaze. His blue-green eyes, so like the sea, studied her. As if he’d heard her thoughts, he smiled gently over Jubie’s head. He leaned closer and kissed her on the mouth, lingering for a moment to catch her bottom lip between his. He tasted of peppermint candy mixed with the red wine he’d had at dinner.
When he drew away, he looked into her eyes. “What is it, my love?”
Everything but his eyes faded. Those eyes that anchored her life. She swallowed the painful lump at the back of her throat. “It’s just all so beautiful. And I’m so grateful.”
“I know,” he whispered in her ear. “I know exactly.”
Jubie threw back her head to look up at them and grinned. “Are you two going to kiss all night or are we finishing this story in time for Santa to come?”
Zane laughed. “Good point, Princess Jubie. We don’t want Santa to find us awake.”
He returned to the book, his low voice both soothing and melodic. Jubie turned pages dutifully until the story finished.
“The end,” Zane said.
But Honor knew there was no such thing. Life, mysterious life, continued. Seasons came and went until we slipped from this earth to join our maker and reunite with our loved ones. She vowed to remain mindful and grateful for every sweet day, knowing that a joyful, satisfying life was made of small moments that smelled of freshly washed hair and felt of a warm baby in your arms and tasted of a husband’s sweet kiss.
They tucked Jubie in with kisses and instructions to wake them no earlier than six before taking the baby to his crib. Zane turned on the monitor, and they headed into their room. In a few hours, they’d give him one more bottle before going to bed themselves. As they donned their Christmas pajamas, Zane teased her about the reindeer. “I suppose you’ll want a photo of us in our matching jammies tomorrow morning?”
“You can count on it.”
Later, after a Christmas movie and Sebastian’s ten o’clock bottle, she fell into bed. As she drifted off to sleep, the sound of bells on the roof penetrated her drowsy mind. “Do you hear those?” she asked Zane.
“Yeah. But it can’t be what we think it is. Right?”
“I don’t know, babe. We’ve had a few miracles in our short time together. Maybe there really is a Santa.”
He chuckled and pulled her to his chest. She fell asleep listening to the sound of his beating heart and dreamed not of sugarplums but of her family, the sweetest of all gifts.
Don't miss out!
Click the button below and you can sign up to receive emails whenever Tess Thompson publishes a new book. There's no charge and no obligation.
https://books2read.com/r/B-A-TLQD-CZIY
Connecting independent readers to independent writers.
Did you love Cliffside Bay Christmas? Then you should read Missed: Rafael and Lisa by Tess Thompson!
Return to the beloved beach town of Cliffside Bay, where USA Today bestseller Tess Thompson spins another emotional, intriguing tale about overcoming adversity and finding strength in love in this standalone story about Lisa and Rafael.
After years of struggling as a starving actor, Lisa Perry's dreams are finally coming true. Splitting her time between Los Angeles and Cliffside Bay, the young beauty has a successful television miniseries, her first movie role, and quality time with her best friends Maggie and Pepper. Everything is coming up roses until a single tragic moment changes Lisa forever.
Haunted by unshakable memories and near-crippling anxiety, Lisa must face a publicity tour full of crowds and interviews in order to move her budding career forward. And with the help of Rafael Soto, the head of security for Brody and Kara Mullen, she finally begins to relax. Though the pair are as different as night and day, something about her temporary bodyguard soothes the young actress, and soon their relationship turns from professional to passionate.
But what neither anticipates is that despite the obvious threats to a beautiful ingenue, it's actually her protector who stands in harm's way. Will Lisa and Rafael be able to face
the danger awaiting him together, or are they destined to accept yet another tragedy they can't stop?
USA Today bestselling author Tess Thompson welcomes you back to Cliffside Bay to explore the rich, heartwarming stories of the characters who brightened the original five novels in the series. Each book in the Cliffside Bay Series is intended to be read and enjoyed as a sweet standalone, but for maximum enjoyment read this binge-worthy series in order.
Read more at Tess Thompson’s site.
Also by Tess Thompson
Cliffside Bay Series
Traded: Brody and Kara
Deleted: Jackson and Maggie
Jaded: Zane and Honor
Marred: Kyle and Violet
Tainted: Lance and Mary
Missed: Rafael and Lisa (Coming Soon)
Cliffside Bay Christmas
The Blue Mountain Series
Blue Midnight
Blue Moon
Blue Ink
The Legley Bay Series
Caramel and Magnolias
Tea and Primroses
The River Valley Series
Riversong
Riverbend
Riverstar
A River Valley Christmas: Tommy's Wish
Riversnow
The River Valley Series: Riversong, Riverbend, Riverstar, Riversnow
Riverstorm
Standalone
Duet for Three Hands
Miller's Secret
The Santa Trial
Cliffside Bay Bundle, Volume 1-3
Watch for more at Tess Thompson’s site.
About the Author
Tess Thompson Romance...hometowns and heartstrings. Warning. Tess Thompson books will make you laugh, cry and remind you what it’s like to fall in love. Don’t purchase unless you like books about good people with ridiculously happy endings. Tess writes epic love stories with relatable characters set in small towns. Some of her books have suspense, others a mystery, and a few are set in the past. Like a reader said recently, "Tess Thompson books give you more than just a romance." She started her writing career in fourth grade when she wrote a story about an orphan who opened a pizza restaurant. Oddly enough, her first novel, "Riversong" is about an adult orphan who opens a restaurant. Clearly, she's obsessed with food and words.
Cliffside Christmas Page 9