As You Wish

by Jude Deveraux

  For a moment, Elise just stood there. He looked as if he was angry at her. But how could that be?

  She hurried after him, but he was moving so fast that she had to run. When she was close, she grabbed his forearm, but he jerked away and kept going.

  “Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” He didn’t slow down or answer.

  When she saw that he was heading toward the back fence, she realized that he was going to the trucks. He was going to leave!

  Elise ran faster than she ever had and just as he reached the gate, she threw herself in front of it. She was out of breath.

  He didn’t speak, just crossed his arms over his chest, and glared—at the fence. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.

  “What...?” Pant, pant. “...did I...” Pant, pant. “...do?”

  He cut her a look of such anger that the hairs on her neck stood up. Then he looked back at the fence.

  To Elise’s surprise, she didn’t relent. When her parents or Kent got angry at her, she felt like a failure and skulked away. Maybe it has to do with...with caring, she thought. She was always afraid of losing their love.

  But with Alejandro it was different. She wasn’t afraid of anything about him.

  “Is that all you’re going to do?” Her teeth were clenched. “Stand there and glare at the wall? You can’t even speak to me? I wanted to give you a gift to remember me by. You are the one going away. This time next year you’ll probably be married and have a kid, while I’m—”

  When he didn’t look at her, she broke off. “Oh, go away! I’ve had all the sulking, ungrateful men I can stand. I’m going to become a lesbian. The hell with all of you.”

  She stomped away, but got only a few feet before he halted in front of her. She stepped around him and didn’t slow down.

  Again, he put himself in front of her. “Is that what you think of me? That I’ve done so much for you that you give me a tip.”

  She was still holding the watch box. “A gift is completely different. It’s—” She waved her hand. “You won’t listen so why bother? You and your sister are just alike. Cinnamon gum, Cartier watches, whatever. You twist them around so they’re something bad.” She looked him in the eyes. “If you think I have some ulterior motive for this—” she held the watch box in front of his face “—then I’d rather throw it in the lake than for you to have it.”

  She looked at him with all the anger she felt. Her rage at Kent, her parents, what her life should be and wasn’t, all of it was in her eyes.

  He stepped to one side and she started toward the house.

  “Don’t come to my party this afternoon,” she said over her shoulder. “It’s for people I like.” When she got to the house, she slammed the door shut.

  For hours, Elise worked like a demon on speed. She cooked and cleaned while playing music at a deafening level. Anything to keep from thinking about what had happened.

  “Why am I always wrong?” she shouted, but the music was so loud that she couldn’t hear herself.

  By three, she had huge bowls of guacamole with a tub full of warm tortilla chips. She’d made chili rellenos, burritos, and rolled enchiladas.

  She did her best to smile when Diego and his men arrived, but her eyes were showing her anger. She turned the music down.

  “Maybe we should come back,” Diego said.

  “No, of course not. I made lots of food. Eat. Take the leftovers home.”

  Miguel turned to Franco and said in Spanish, “I’m glad I’m not Alejandro.”

  Elise whipped around and in Spanish said, “Alejandro is a steaming pile of dog poop. You like the guacamole?”

  The men stepped back, eyes wide. “Si, si. It’s very good.”

  “Then eat it!” In the house, she leaned against the refrigerator. She really did need to get herself under control. She’d put out only beer as the men had to drive home, but now she pulled limes out of the fridge. It was time for a margarita—or twelve.

  Two hours later, Elise was laughing and dancing with one man after another. They took turns twirling her around. The music had changed to songs from Mexico that blared out from the cell phone of one of the men.

  At six, Elise shouted that the men should go home to their families, but they said their wives and kids were in Mexico. She knew Diego’s family was, but not the other men’s. She raised her full glass, the rim coated in coarse salt. “To loneliness,” she yelled in Spanish.

  They all drank to it.

  Diego, the boss, the serious one who looked out for everyone, was the last to relax and enjoy himself. The men kept saying he was the best dancer but it was nearly dark before Elise could get him onto his feet.

  He was good, moving around so easily that Elise glided across the stone terrace. “Is this how you got your wife?” she asked.

  “I promised to get her out from under my mother’s rule. She ran to me.” He spun her around at arm’s length. “You are destroying my little brother.”

  “Good! He’s ripping my heart out and it’s bleeding all over my feet. I may drown in my own blood.”

  She’d said this in Spanish, with such drama that Diego laughed. “There are things about my family that you don’t know. We keep our secrets to ourselves.”

  “So tell me your biggest, baddest one.”

  “Maybe I should. Maybe we should tell you.”

  “I’d like to hear of someone else’s problems.”

  “Then I must be silent,” Diego said.

  She started to ask him what he meant, but he whirled her away again, then Miguel took her hand, then Franco, then...

  She was in Alejandro’s arms, her breasts just touching his chest. He had on a shirt of pure white, with ivory embroidery down the center, and pearl buttons. His hair was washed and slicked back. There was little light on the patio and the dusk made his eyes even darker.

  She pushed away from him, but he didn’t let go. “I hate you.”

  “I know.” He pulled her to him so that her arms were folded onto his chest. His heart was beating against her cheek. The music changed to slow and he swayed to it. “I have to go back.”

  “To your real family?” she said.

  “No, it’s not. Part of me will never again belong there.”

  “You’re going to make me cry.”

  “Good. We will weep together.”

  For a while they danced. She put one arm around him, one folded against his chest and he held her fingers in his.

  “We both have problems we need to solve,” he said.

  Elise stiffened. “You have a girlfriend.”

  He chuckled. “I wish it were so simple.”

  When the music changed to a hard beat, Alejandro took Elise’s hand and led her into the garden, away from the men. They teased, but Alejandro didn’t slow down.

  He stopped at the bench by the herb garden and they sat down. He didn’t let go of her hand.

  When she looked up at him, her eyes begging him for a kiss, he didn’t lean forward. He smoothed her hair behind her ear, then put her hand on his chest.

  “We cannot start what we will not be able to stop.” He stroked her hair. “We both need to be sure,” he said. “I could not bear to be something you use then toss away.”

  “I wouldn’t do that.”

  “Not intentionally, but I see you with your husband. There is a part of you that if he called, you would go. I would die if that happened.”

  Her body was still but her heart was about to leap out of her chest. He seemed to be saying he loved her. And he seemed to be very sure of how he felt. But for Elise, just last night she’d been hoping to have Kent’s baby.

  “I am leaving in the morning.”

  “No! You can’t—”

  He squeezed her hand and smiled. “I will return in the spring and we will see what has changed.”

 
“You mean I’m to choose between you and my husband?”

  “You must decide much more than that. Your life, your home. You have never been away from your parents. Your husband treats you as a child. He has secrets that...”

  “That what?” When he was silent, she leaned back to look at him. “Diego was hinting at something and now you. What are you trying to tell me?”

  He took a while before answering. “I am going to see that you know. When you have the facts, you will need to choose what you want to do.”

  She could tell that he wanted her to know something but she couldn’t figure out what. “I’m not sure I have the strength to do what you want of me.”

  He pulled her head back down to his chest. “You were very strong when you saw the truth of what could happen. You were right to stop it.”

  “You mean when I ran away from you after we finished the garden?”

  “Yes. You were stronger than I was. I was to the point where all I could think of was getting you in bed with me.”

  “Really?” She sounded so enthusiastic that he laughed.

  “It was after you ran away that I missed you.”

  “Did you?” she asked.

  “Every minute of every day, I longed for you. To hear you laugh, to talk with you, just to be near you.”

  “I felt the same way,” she whispered.

  “How could you feel anything other than cold in your tiny red swimsuit?”

  “Can’t really swim in that thing. It tends to come off.”

  Alejandro groaned. “You are wicked to tease me so. We need time to figure out all of this.”

  She waited for him to continue, but he didn’t need to. She understood what he meant.

  How could they blend their lives together? Elise needed to be absolutely sure of what to do about Kent. And what about her parents? Could she get a job somewhere? “Yes,” she managed to whisper. She didn’t know she was crying until she felt the wetness of his shirt.

  “I will come for you in the spring. Then you can tell me what you’ve decided.”

  “What about you?”

  “I know what I want. I’ve always known. From the first time I saw you, I was lost.” His arms tightened on her. “I will pray. I will wish on stars. I will buy potions.” He paused. “I will hope. When I return and see you again, I will know what you have decided.”

  He leaned away from her and put her hands on her lap. “I must go now or I’ll not be able to control myself.”

  She put her hand on his cheek. “Alejandro, please stay. Just tonight. One night.” Holding her hand to his face, he kissed her palm, then released it. He stood up, stepped into the dark, and was gone.

  Chapter Eleven

  Elise looked at Olivia and Kathy. “That was months ago and I haven’t seen or heard from him since then.”

  “Wow,” Kathy said. “I would have ripped off his clothes that night.”

  “I wish I had,” Elise said. “Now I’ll never get a chance. By now he’s probably returned and been told that I was locked away because I tried to kill myself.”

  “Since he’s Carmen’s brother, I imagine he knows more than that,” Olivia said. “Of course she’s what the men were trying to tell you about.”

  “That my husband and their sister...” Elise took a breath. “Now I’m on the run from the law and I doubt if I’ll ever see him again. But it wouldn’t matter. I still don’t know how Alejandro and I would live.”

  Olivia’s head came up. “Alejandro said he’d see that you found out. Do you think he had anything to do with Tara starting to investigate Kent?”

  “I don’t know,” Elise said. “But it’s possible.”

  “Alejandro did have Tara’s card,” Kathy said. “Maybe he sent her something.”

  Elise closed her eyes for a moment. “That would mean that he chose me over his sister. He gave his loyalty as well as his love to me. But what did I do? Up until the night before I found out, I was still hoping that Kent and I could... I don’t know, start over? Alejandro was more loyal to me than I was to him. I wish I could change... Change it all!”

  “Me too,” Olivia said.

  “And so do I,” Kathy added.

  It had begun to rain and the sound was nice in the house. The women got up, took bathroom breaks, straightened the kitchen, and pondered all that they’d heard.

  Elise kept smiling, relieved to have at last been able to tell someone about her and Alejandro. When it was happening, she’d told herself that it wasn’t serious, but saying it all out loud had made her see that there was more there than she’d realized. What had Kathy said? That she was “heart and soul gone to him.”

  Maybe she had been. Maybe she was.

  “So who’s up for a game of Scrabble?” Kathy asked when they were back in the living room.

  When they looked at her, it was as though they were holding a sign. You’re Next.

  But Kathy was hesitant. “Olivia, your husband’s a diplomat, right? Have you traveled a lot?”

  Elise started to say something, but then Kathy looked at Olivia, and there was something in her eyes. But what was it? That she felt sorry for Kathy? But why?

  It took her a moment but she began to realize that Ray had told them something about her. But what in the world was it? When it came down to that, what did he really know about his wife? Their eyes seemed to want some information, but they were afraid of the answers.

  In a lot of ways, Kathy was Bert Cormac’s daughter. She’d inherited her mother’s sensitivity, but there was enough of her father’s personality in her that Kathy could, well, survive the two men in her life. And one of the ways she’d done that was to keep her mouth shut. She never truly confided in anyone. She let others see one thing while she kept the truth to herself.

  But these two women, these strangers, had confided in her. More than that, they’d entrusted her with some deep secrets. A call to the police could change Elise’s life forever. And Olivia...

  “Maybe Scrabble would be good,” Olivia said. “Has anyone seen a board around here?” She opened a corner cabinet.

  The truth was, just as Elise had, Kathy wanted to talk. She wanted to tell these women who’d been through so much about her life. She took a breath. This was going to be hard for her so she’d better start with something easy. “Did Ray tell you how we first got together as a couple?”

  Both women stopped opening cabinet doors and smiled.

  “His date spilled a drink on you and he said you handled it graciously,” Olivia said.

  “With class,” Elise added. “He didn’t say so, but I think he fell in love with you at that moment.”

  Kathy looked from one woman to the other, then let out a loud laugh. “How funny! Ray didn’t ‘fall in love’ with me then or at any other time.”

  “He does love you!” Olivia was serious.

  Kathy leaned back in her chair. “Yes, he does. He loves me very much. More than he knows, but that’s not why he married me.”

  Olivia and Elise were staring at her but they didn’t seem shocked by her words. “I bet Ray told you that after the spilled drink he saw me crying.”

  “Yes, he did,” Olivia said. “He said his date had hurt your feelings.”

  “Ray is an idiot! Smart, brilliant even, but an idiot. The truth is that she and I set that whole thing up.”

  “I want to hear this,” Elise said.

  Olivia agreed. “This is a house of stories and you’re next. Elise, get the wine and the glasses. Are there any more of those chips?”

  “Oh no,” Kathy said. “I gain weight even looking at food. You have any club soda?”

  “Kathy,” Olivia said, “I don’t know who has messed with your mind but you look great.”

  “I wish I had boobs like yours,” Elise said.

  “You wouldn’t be able to
stand up,” Kathy shot back, then put her hand over her mouth. “Sorry.”

  But Elise and Olivia laughed and got up and went to the kitchen. Minutes later, they had a banquet of wine and chips and dip on the coffee table.

  It had been a long time since Kathy had some good, old-fashioned girl time. Between her father and Ray, both of them men who demanded a lot—and got it—she didn’t have much of a chance for girl talks. To those two men, if it wasn’t something that would lead to making money, why bother discussing it?

  Now these women were watching her in silence, waiting for her to tell them what happened. Elise had poured her heart out and Kathy knew she should do the same. But she’d never told anyone the truth about what had happened. But then, who could understand the power of Bert Cormac and Ray Hanran? The few times Kathy had tried to describe them to women friends, they’d thrown up their hands in horror. “You should get away from them,” they’d said. “Stand up to the tyrants.” “Be good to yourself.” On and on. Sometimes women’s “support” lacked understanding—or variety.

  Kathy didn’t dare tell anyone that there was a part of her that loved the challenge, loved the fireworks that a life near those men created.

  Fireworks, she thought. Yes, that described Ray exactly. In the rare moments when he was quiet, he was like an unlit bomb. And the endless attention he gave her—even if it was to find his lost papers—was exciting.

  Kathy took a breath, picked up the glass of cold white wine that Olivia had poured for her, and took a sip.

  “Poor Dolores,” she began. “It was one of Dad’s black-tie balls, two floors down in our building, and meant to impress his clients. Not that Bert Cormac would know a white tie from a clown’s bow tie. He left arranging the entire party up to me.”

  She took another sip. “You have to understand that my father and my husband love each other. Father-son love. Fishing buddies love. Besties. Clones, actually. So when Dad realized that he had to go a black-tie event without Ray there, he had me send for him.”

  “Wait,” Olivia said. “Ray said you helped him, but I didn’t realize you worked for the company.”