by JL Paul
They finished after two encores, and I was finally able to wrap my arms around Jake. He was sweaty, and I knew he’d probably stink up my shirt, but I didn’t much care. What’s a little perspiration between friends, after all?
I followed them backstage where Flyby and Society Lost were hanging out. The Flyby boys were celebrating already and began handing out drinks. Jake declined and my heart surged. I knew he did it for my benefit.
Society Lost left to go onstage, and Jake and the guys excused themselves to go shower, leaving me to gape stupidly at the Flyby band members. Jake finished first and quickly took his place by my side. He snatched two flutes of champagne and handed one to me.
Jake’s aftershave wafted to my nose and it drove my body into a frenzy. The smell was musky and so Jake that I was afraid I was going to start sniffing him like a dog.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Is there a problem, Iz?”
I knew my blush had to be brighter than a sunburned bottom. “You…um…don’t smell anymore.”
Here she is folks, Ms. Tact. I wished for the floor to open up and swallow me whole.
He laughed and draped an arm around me. “Thanks.”
“I mean, you smell good,” I tried to amend.
He tugged on my ponytail and placed his lips very close to my ear. “I know what you mean.”
His eyes caught me again, and I was helpless to look away. I barely heard Rob leading the countdown. “Five…four…three…two…one…”
Then Jake cupped my cheek and leaned in toward my face. My free hand moved to his shoulder and wound in his hair. I knew he was going to kiss me, and I knew it wasn’t going to be a chaste, friendly kiss like he’d given me before. I was right. His lips pressed against mine in a feather light touch at first and then returned with a little more pressure. He smiled against my lips and parted his slightly. My heart went a little wild as I melted into him. His hand found the small of my back and held me firmly as he continued to kiss me. I sighed, content at last.
Catcalls and applause over my shoulder caused us to break apart, and I buried my face in his chest. He laughed and rubbed my back as Nick clapped his shoulder.
“It’s about time, man,” he teased. “I know you’ve been wanting to do that since the day you met her.”
Huh?
I lifted my eyes to his, head spinning, and I hadn’t even taken a single sip of my champagne. “You did?”
He smiled and pecked my lips. “Very much so.”
I couldn’t form a single, coherent thought. “Why?”
He tossed his head back and laughed before gently stroking my cheek. “Because you’re you, Iz.”
Maybe Annie was right.
Chapter Fourteen
I woke up on New Year’s Day, wrapped tightly in Jake’s arms. We’d stayed at the concert/party until three in the morning before returning to the hotel. I had been very nervous about sharing a room, let alone a bed, with Jake since our kiss but he we’d both been so exhausted, he’d just pressed his lips to mine, a little longer than usual, and bid me a goodnight.
I nestled under his chin, listening to the steady beat of his heart. My feelings for him had definitely changed—maybe they’d been there all along like Annie had constantly hinted. Maybe I’d kept them buried, believing my years-long crush on Lance had more merit. Or maybe I just figured someone like Jake could never return the feelings of someone like me.
I wiggled closer to his sleeping body, if that was even possible, and ran my fingers lightly over his t-shirt clad chest. The firm muscles under the thin material caused another tremble to shake my body. He was just so perfect. He was my rock. He was my confidant—my best friend. I couldn’t screw this up or let this opportunity pass.
“Are you cold?” he mumbled, breaking my train of thought. His arm tightened around me.
“No,” I said. I lifted my head to smile at him.
“Good morning, angel,” he said, eyes closed, as his lips twitched into a sleepy smile. My heart soared.
I leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Morning.”
He turned his head and yawned, running his hand up and down my back. “Do you have to go home today?”
My face fell as I rested my cheek on his chest again. “Yeah. My parents will be home sometime tomorrow and Seth will be home tonight.”
“We’re heading out in the morning, too,” he said, his words rumbling in his chest.
I bit the inside of my cheek as I contemplated the words I needed to say – the questions I needed to ask. I traced an invisible circle on his t-shirt. “Jake?”
“Hmm?”
“What does this mean?” I asked tentatively.
“What does what mean?”
I suppressed a groan - I really needed him coherent at this moment. “This. Us. I mean, well…this.”
He chuckled and squeezed my shoulder. “Do you mean are we an item? A couple? That sort of thing?” I nodded, cheeks burning in embarrassment. I didn’t dare look at him. “Do you want us to be a couple?”
I closed my eyes to think carefully before answering. No one had ever made me feel the way he had. No one treated me with as much respect and consideration. At this very moment, wrapped in his arms, I felt safer than I ever had in my entire life. And I was comfortable with him – able to tell him anything. Yet, he still managed to make me nervous and excited with just a look or a touch. Yes, I wanted him. I wanted there to be an ‘us’. I lifted my head, and he opened his eyes. “Yes, I do.”
He stroked my cheek, tiny smile toying with his mouth. “It’ll be hard, Iz. You’ll be away at school, and I’ll be on the road. You’ll hear rumors or see pictures that will look bad.”
I put my head back on his chest, comforted by the sound of his heart. “I know all that. I can handle it.”
He picked up a few strands of my hair and dropped them, repeating the action over and over. “We won’t see each other for long stretches of time.”
“We can talk on the phone. Or email.” I wasn’t giving up without a fight. “Don’t you want us to be together?”
He kissed the top of my head and lifted my chin so I could look in his eyes. “I’ve wanted nothing else since the night I met you, Iz—but I don’t want you to get hurt.”
His eyes were honest and suddenly vulnerable. “How will I get hurt?”
“Angel,” he sighed. He shifted our bodies so we were both on our side. He cupped my cheek. “The tabloids write stuff about me all the time, especially since Monique and I split, and it’s not always true. The entertainment news shows assume stuff and speculate and blow things out of proportion. And if anyone finds out about you, groupies for example, they may bug you constantly.” He flashed a wry smile. “You could get mobbed.”
I didn’t return his smile. “I’m not scared. Besides, it would all be worth it because I would have you.”
He stared at me for an agonizing moment before leaning in and kissing me tenderly. “Okay. I guess we are a couple,” he muttered against my lips.
My heart soared as I kissed him back. He chuckled against my lips before easing into an upright position. “How about if I order us some breakfast?”
***
“Okay, Iz,” Nick said, handing me my cell phone. I hadn’t realized he had it. I furrowed my brow, trying to figure out how he got it in the first place. “I programmed all our numbers in there in case you need something and you can’t get a hold of ‘the man’.”
“If you need anything at all, you can call any of us,” Ronnie added.
“Why do they call you the bad boy band again?” I asked in all seriousness. I honestly wanted to know.
Ronnie threw his arm around my shoulders. “Because we are bad, baby. Make sure you spread it around.”
I punched him lightly in the stomach just as Jake and Matt walked back in the room. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and my cheeks blazed when I caught Jake’s eye and he gave me a wink.
“We loaded up your car,” Matt said, plopping on the bed. “We shove
d some concert t-shirts and DVDs and CDs and stuff like that in there. You can give it all your friends.”
I nodded as Jake removed me from Ronnie’s arm. I didn’t want to tell them that at this moment, they were the only friends I had. Jake read my sudden silence as sadness that I would be leaving him soon so he pulled me in front of him, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. That was definitely part of it, sure, but loneliness was sitting in the passenger seat of my car, waiting to accompany me back to school.
“Hey, Iz,” Ronnie said. “Promise me you won’t sell that stuff out of the trunk of your car, huh?”
I barked out a laugh and gazed at all of them. I was going to miss them so much. A lump formed in my throat at the thought of being away from them for an extended period of time. “Are you sure I can’t drop out of school and follow you guys around? I’ll work! I’ll do the ‘check, check, check,’ thing in the microphones before each of your shows.”
They all laughed except for Nick whose green eyes bored into mine. “No, Iz. You are not dropping out of school. You go back and work hard and make us proud.”
I nodded, my eyes unable to leave his. “I will, I promise.”
His face relaxed and a slow smile spread across his lips. He pulled me from Jake’s arms to give me a fierce hug. “I know you will,” he mumbled in my hair. He edged back to kiss my temple. “Keep in touch, will ya?”
“Yeah,” I said, fighting pesky tears.
Matt hugged me next, promising me he’d keep Jake and the others out of trouble. I giggled.
Ronnie grabbed me enthusiastically and swung me around. “Any money you make on that loot you have to split with me,” he whispered before kissing my cheek.
I glanced at them all one more time as Jake took my hand and led me out of the room. He walked me to my car in silence and leaned against it. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m really going to miss you, Iz. It was amazing having you here with me for a few days.”
I grabbed fistfuls of his jacket and rested my forehead against his chest. The lump in my throat was growing to boulder size but I still managed to squeak out a few words. “I don’t want to go back, Jake.”
He placed a knuckle under my chin and pressed his forehead to mine. “I know you don’t, but you have to—-that’s where you need to be right now. Keep your chin up and ignore those idiots. Keep trying to talk to Cammy and Annie. They’re good girls, Iz—they’ll forgive you. It will take a little time, though.” I nodded and he kissed me. “Stay away from the alcohol. That’s not you. You’re better than that.”
“You and the guys drink,” I pointed out, why, I didn’t know.
“Rarely,” he said sternly. “And I’m nearly of age. The others already are.”
“Well you don’t need to worry because I don’t plan on doing that ever again.”
He caressed my cheek, gentle smile on his face. “Good.” He kissed my forehead and worked his way to my lips. I sighed into him, my arms snaking around his neck.
“I’ll miss you,” he whispered.
A couple tears escaped, and he wiped them away. “I’ll miss you, too.”
He stepped away from the car and opened the driver’s door. “Drive safe, please, and call me when you get home.” He waited for me to get inside and bent to drop one more kiss on my head. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”
“Two weeks?” I asked, totally confused.
“The show at Seth’s school,” he reminded me. He squatted so he was eye level with me. “You’re coming, right?”
I grinned. “Of course.”
He gently gripped my chin and kissed me. Every nerve in my body woke and stood at attention. His lips moved tenderly over mine, and my mind instantly went blank. I held onto his jacket to keep from falling out of the car, concentrating on his mouth on mine. Kissing Lance had never been this pleasant.
Finally, as my jaw started to ache, he broke the kiss, his breath as uneven as mine. “You better get going, angel. It gets dark so early this time of year.”
I gave him one quick kiss before he stood and slammed the door shut. I waved as I drove away, heart still thumping wildly in my chest.
***
All the way home and then all the way back to school, my mind was constantly on Jake. I couldn’t believe he was actually mine! My heart cartwheeled every time that particular phrase ran through my head. And as much as I thought about him, my heart got quite the cardiovascular workout.
The parking lot was full by the time I returned to school Sunday night. I spotted both Cammy’s and Annie’s cars and my stomach turned at what I might find when I got to my room.
I struggled with my wheeled suitcase, a bag thrown over my shoulder and a box full of concert loot as I made my way down the icy sidewalk to my building. I set the luggage down and balanced the box carefully in my hand so I could dig my keycard out of my pocket. As I was about to insert it in the slot, the door flew open, slamming into me and knocking the box from my hand. Cursing, I grabbed it before it could come open and spill its contents in the snow.
“So sorry about … oh, it’s just you,” Alicia Phelps remarked. An evil grin danced across her face. “Lance’s little plaything.”
“Bite me,” I snarled viciously, using Ronnie’s favorite phrase.
She snorted out a hollow laugh. “Hardly. Who knows where you’ve been?”
I rolled my eyes and glared at her. She stood with her arms crossed, thinking she was cool. Well, she was a bit cooler than I as I tried to handle two pieces of luggage and a box while opening a stupid door.
“How can you show your face around here?” she asked.
“Just shut up and leave me alone,” I stammered. Okay, not the snappiest of comebacks, but I couldn’t think at that moment. I was cold and hurt and angry. I just wanted to get to my room and call Jake.
“You pushed your friends away for Lance. How’d that work for you?” she continued, aiming, I assumed, to further humiliate me.
“I think we both know the answer to that, wouldn’t you say?” Much better comeback—maybe there was hope for me yet.
Alicia laughed and pushed away from the door. She walked off in the darkness, and I scrambled to catch the door before it shut. Of course I was too late. I groaned and performed the keycard dance all over again.
I finally made it to my room and deposited the luggage on the floor and the box on my bed. I took a good look around, thankful Annie hadn’t moved everything out entirely. Maybe that was a good sign. I hoped it was, anyway.
I unpacked my suitcases and placed the box on the shelf in my closet where it would be fairly safe—I would look through it later. I was hungry and irritated when I inspected the mini fridge only to find it empty. I decided to run to the Student Center and buy a bunch of junk and sodas from the vending machine. I tugged on my coat and ventured out in the cold. I hated January with its blistery wind and constant onslaught of snow.
I yanked the Center door open and grimaced. It was pretty full since there’s not much else to do on a Sunday night. Kimberly and Lance were huddled together on a sofa and Dean wasn’t too far away. I ignored them all, keeping my chin up like the guys told me to do, and walked past them to the vending machines. I just pictured Jake and smiled, vowing to call him when I got back to my room.
I ignored the whispers, some loud, and the snickers as I made my selections. I stuffed my pockets with treats and moved on to the soda machine. I guessed Krysti hadn’t exaggerated when she said Kimberly had told most of the school about the bet Lance and Dean had made. I kept telling myself I didn’t care.
Turning away from the machines, I headed for the door, my arms full of soda cans, when someone, Dean Gold most likely, immaturely stuck out a leg in an attempt to trip me. Luckily, I spotted the leg. Unluckily, I wasn’t exactly in time, and I stumbled, falling against a table. Two cans spilled out of my arms and rolled across the floor. I located one but the other was lost, and I suddenly had no desire to find it. I reach
ed for the doorknob just as something hit me hard in the hip. I bit down on my lip to keep from crying out in pain. I looked down to see what had hit me and saw my missing soda can spinning on the floor near my foot. I took a deep breath, kicked the can away from me and left, slamming the door—and the laughter—behind me.
***
Two weeks couldn’t pass fast enough. I missed Jake and the guys terribly and longed to see them again. Trying to sleep at night without Jake’s warm body beside me was torture. But the humiliation and the harassment I endured during the day was almost as bad.
I honestly tried to keep my chin up, but it grew more and more difficult. Especially when my classmates switched from the name calling and the pointing and laughing to trying to trip me while I walked down the hall. After a couple tumbles to the hard floor and some smacked elbows, I grew wise. I kept my head down and watched out for obstacles.
The cafeteria was worse, so I stopped going there after breakfast on Monday. It was hard to eat when little bits of food sailed through the air and landed in your juice or in your hair. I just ate whatever I had in the mini fridge when I grew hungry enough. I knew it wasn’t healthy but it was the only alternative.
My only haven was play rehearsal. None of the Drama Club members cared much for the gossip going around school as they pretty much stuck together in their own world. I was the one exception. I did like the people in the Club, but I enjoyed life beyond acting to center my entire world around it. Or, well, I used to.
Toward the end of my first week back, Ms. Norbert noticed the dark circles under my eyes and even went so far as to ask if I was losing weight. I denied it, of course, claiming I’d suffered from a bout of the flu over Christmas break and my appetite wasn’t up to par just yet. She swallowed my explanation but told me to see the nurse if my appetite didn’t return soon.