Savor

by Xavier Neal

  Savor

  Senses Series, Book 5

  Xavier Neal

  SAVOR

  Copyright© 2014 by Xavier Neal This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  All Rights are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  Dedication

  Dedicated to the Universe. Thank you.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 1

  Maxx

  “You’re what?” Erin shrieks even louder, her voice causing vertigo to kick in again.

  Please tell me that stops eventually. I don’t know if I can do nine months of feeling like I’m on some newly invented roller coaster, built only to make you wanna vomit with no fun attached. Shit…I don’t know if I can do this at all.

  “Pregnant.” Luke repeats, standing to refill his coffee mug.

  “Like pregnant, pregnant?” Erin says, clearly still baffled.

  “As opposed to just pregnant?” Luke’s snide remark causes his sister to shoot him her middle finger.

  Well, at least they haven’t lost their senses of humor in light of this news.

  “Maxx,” her voice pulls my eyes back open. When they fall on her, she says very slowly, “Are you okay?”

  “Define okay,” my mutter sinks a look of concern on her face.

  How fucking okay can I be right now? The love of my life walked away to go gallivanting across the country, punching people in the face and sleeping with the entire West Coast, probably within the hour. Not to mention the simple fact that I’m knocked up with his kid, and he has no idea. So, between I’m okay and on the verge of a psychotic breakdown, I’d put myself closer to the latter.

  “Does this mean you’re gonna get rid of me?” Dean’s voice sounds shaky as he puts his fork down.

  “No.” the three of us say in unison.

  Don’t even ask right now…

  “Dean.” My hand lands on top of his and becomes immediately sticky.

  Ugh. How…he’s got a napkin right there for crying out loud!

  “Nothing changes with you. Me and a b-b—b—”

  “Baby, Maxx,” Luke fills in the word.

  I’m gonna be sick again.

  “Doesn’t mean there’s no me and you, Kid. You’re the Kid. You’re as much mine as the thing growing inside me. So stop worrying about when we’re gonna let you go into the wild like some sort of caged animal, and start preparing to be a big brother.”

  His face twitches quickly into a smile. “I’m gonna be a big brother.”

  Well, at least that fire was easy to put out.

  “Like a play catch and teach you how to flirt with girls kinda big brother.”

  My face tilts to the side. “And what if it’s a girl?”

  “Then play tea party and beat up guys you think you’re gonna call your boyfriend.”

  Sound familiar? Don’t tell anyone, but having Dean around makes me miss Logan even more. But it also helps me feel better that there’s so much space between us.

  “So you’re keeping it?” Erin questions.

  “Of course she’s keeping it,” Luke interferes.

  “What do you mean of course?” Erin raises her eyebrows. “It’s not the 1950’s anymore. Women have choices.”

  “A life is a life.” He places down his mug, any humor that was lingering, non-existent.

  “And a woman has the right to choose.”

  “A woman—”

  “Hey!” I scream, interrupting them. “This is not a women’s right rally! This is my life we’re talking about. So if you two could put your beliefs and disagreements aside for just a second, that would be great!” Suddenly, I’m hit with another wave of nausea and hop onto my feet. “God, I’m gonna be sick.”

  My body rushes out of the kitchen and into the small guest bathroom where I fling my face into the toilet bowl, vomiting up whatever is in my stomach.

  Honestly? I have no idea what it is. I don’t even remember eating the last couple of days. Please, don’t give me shit about that right now. Between Logan and Tony both trying to cram crap down my throat, I think it’s covered.

  After several good heaves, I flush and struggle to stand on my feet; exhaustion from the tournament, Logan leaving, and my friends fighting doing its best to force me back down.

  Luke’s face appears in the doorway, sympathy planted firmly on it. “Come on, Maxx. Let’s get you some rest…”

  Extending his hand for me, he pulls me into him the moment I take it. With one arm wrapped around my shoulder, he carefully helps me ascend the stairs.

  “You want me to come hang out?” Erin calls to me.

  “She needs the rest,” Luke answers for me. “And ginger ale. Kid, when you’re done eating, can you bring it up for her?”

  “Sure thing, Uncle Luke.” His speech is muffled by a mouthful of food.

  Luke helps me upstairs and into my room, which I am stepping into for the first time without Logan. Just knowing he’s not coming home seems to have changed the entire place from somewhere I loved being to a place I dread. Except now, instead of worrying about which lucky bitch’s perfume is staining his pillows, I’m worried about which of his colognes is gonna haunt me while it’s my turn to rest.

  “I’m fine now.” I try to slide away from Luke.

  “No you’re not,” he retorts, pulling back the sheets. “I will say I’m thankful I don’t have to worry about catching an STD when touching Kellar’s sheets now.” The comment gets me to give a short smile. “Now get in.”

  I slip my body under the sheet, and Luke crawls in next to me. Immediately, my head falls to his shoulder. I close my eyes but my tears won’t give me the courtesy of a moment of peace.

  Softly, he strokes my arm and lets out a deep sigh. “You’re gonna be okay, Maxx.”

  “You don’t know that…”

  And neither do you.

  “I do know that,” Luke’s correction is followed by him wiping away a trail of tears. “Maxx, you’re not alone in this. You don’t have to do this by yourself. We’re a family—”

  “Then why don’t one of you have the baby instead?”

  “Well, Logan’s not really my type or Erin’s. I mean, I know he’s a hottie. You’d think he’d work for me, but I need more than just good looks. And Erin? Well, dating a walking replica of herself with a penis just doesn’t sit well with her.” I fight a smirk. “And then there’s the simple fact that the two of you have been in love with each other for longer than most people stay married nowadays.” The urge to smile comes again. “My point is that none of us are having this little baby instead, because none of us are even remotely close to where you are. Sure, you and Kellar have a shit ton of problems, like some bad letter to a gossip columnist, but you’re made for each other. And the little bean sized thing rooted inside
you right now is a combination of all that love. It’s like a cherry on top of a sundae. It just works. And fits. And belongs.”

  “But Logan—”

  “Will deal. Most likely throw a tantrum, but he’ll get over it.” Luke’s lips touch the side of my forehead. “You see the way he feels about the Kid. Imagine how he’s gonna feel when it’s his own. You know, after the initial shock.”

  Do you think he’s right?

  “I’ve got you scheduled for an appointment tomorrow right after the Kid’s check-up. We’ll go from his to yours.”

  Sniffling, I pull my legs into my chest and begin to curl into a ball. “Can we get ice cream in between?”

  “You really need to be careful with what you consume, especially while you’re pregnant.”

  “Ugh, I thought that was a perk of being knocked up? Eating whatever you wanted.”

  “Common misconception.”

  How is it that Luke always manages to find the grown-up way of looking at everything? I’d finally found the glass half full light of the situation and he made sure to tip the cup over.

  Dean appears in the doorway with a glass of ginger ale in his hand and a soft look on his face. “Mom, you okay?”

  Did he just…did you hear him?

  Shocked, a small gasp comes out of me. Before I can answer he says, “Was it weird? I thought I’d try it out. You know…with the…well with the…ya know coming.”

  Tears start to fill my eyes again.

  Oh hell. How many months am I gonna be an emotional train wreck?

  “But I don’t have to. If you don’t want me to, or if you think that it’s wrong or something. I mean, I—”

  “Kid,” my voice cuts him off. His blue eyes look immediately hopeful. It’s the same look Logan gets.

  Please just rip my heart out through my nose. That would be less painful than dealing with the fact that I have to try and make it without Logan. God, I miss him. Why do I feel like a Taylor Swift song?

  “If that’s what you wanna call me then feel free. If you wanna call me Maxx, then do that. Either way, it doesn’t matter to me. You’re my kid.”

  “I’m the Kid,” he reassures, approaching with the glass.

  “For now.” Luke adds in.

  “Nah.” Dean shakes his head. “I’ll always be the Kid, and my baby whatever will get its own nickname.”

  How the fuck is it this kid is coping with the situation better than I am? Anyone else see a problem here?

  I take the glass and agree, “You’re right. They will.”

  Luke raises an eyebrow at him. “You are dealing with this whole situation pretty smoothly.”

  “As long as I still have a place to call home, and people to call family, I don’t mind if it grows a little.”

  And if that doesn’t just pull the tears from my eyes again. Goddamn it…

  “I agree, Kid. And you’ll always have a home here. And family. Now, why don’t you go grab your math project stuff, and I’ll help you out while Maxx gets some rest.” Luke suggests right as a yawn falls from my lips.

  I don’t think I’ve slept in days. Or has it been weeks? Has my concept of time always been this shitty?

  “If I finish early, think I can go the movies with a friend?”

  “Does this friend happen to have a cropped sweater and a mini skirt?” Luke questions.

  Dean nods nonchalantly. “She may have those items in her wardrobe.”

  I chuckle, and Luke looks at me displeased. “Really? That’s funny to you? He’s—”

  “Just like Logan. I know. I know.” That thought threatens to bring on another sad look from me, so I quickly focus. “Yeah, you can go to the movies with her. What’s her name?”

  “Brandi. With an I.”

  “Why does the I matter?” Luke’s curiosity is followed by his sister invading the conversation.

  “Because girls who spell their name with an I at the end are sluttier.”

  That’s not true. I mean…that can’t possibly be true.

  Erin leans against the doorframe. “Fact.”

  “That’s not a fact,” Luke fusses at her.

  “Pretty sure you can Google that shit,” Erin informs.

  “Mouth,” I mumble.

  “What is wrong with you?” Luke scoffs at his sister.

  “Don’t hate because I understand how the world works.”

  “The world does not work in slutty letters and made up facts.”

  “Oh but it does, dear brother. But it does,” Erin winks, and Luke groans in annoyance.

  You know, if I’ve gotta raise a kid without its father, I’m just glad it’s with them. And you. Thanks for not bailing on me.

  Chapter 2

  Maxx

  “I missed you,” Logan says, stroking the side of my face, his own only inches away. “I mean really missed you.”

  Playfully I smile. “Yeah? Which part of me?”

  “This part.” His lips feather across mine as they slowly move up to my neck. “And this part.” Suddenly his hand lands on my stomach and he whispers, “And the part that’s carrying my child.”

  My body shoots up with a sharp gasp, sweat pouring from me like I did some sort of medieval rain dance to the Sweat Gods.

  Sweat Gods…really? Is that a real thing? Why are you laughing at me? That’s a valid question.

  Leaning back against the headboard, I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing. The thought that the dream was real is still too realistic to shake. After a long exhale, I glance at the time and grunt that I need to get a move on it. Quickly, I have a hot shower, toss on a pair of loose yoga pants and one of Logan’s TKO Fight Night shirts.

  Don’t look at me like that. My book boyfriends shirts are all in the laundry. I was supposed to do it yesterday, but I kinda passed out and didn’t quite get out of bed until…well, until just now. Is that normal? Am I just gonna turn into some sort of grizzly bear and sleep for the next nine months while a mini Logan grows inside of me?

  There’s a sharp knock on the door.

  “We’re gonna be late,” Luke’s voice sighs heavily.

  “I’m coming,” I groan. I sound identical to the way Logan did when I used to try and wake him up in the morning.

  Isn’t there some phrase about couples that spend too much time together start to sound alike? Or is that dress alike? If it’s dress, how much would you pay to see Logan in one of my book boyfriends shirts? Are you giggling?

  I open the door and look at Luke, who’s wearing a pair of dark jeans, a beige sweater, dark brown dress shoes, and very subtle but sweet smelling cologne.

  “Did I miss something? I thought we were going to the doctor.”

  “We are.”

  “Then why do you look like we’re about to go on a brunch date with the cute guy from the Gap?”

  Luke smirks checking his wrist watch. “He’s not that cute.” Before I can respond he starts towards the stairs. “Now, come on. We don’t wanna be late.”

  Dude…he’s taking this doctor thing way too seriously. Even for him. It’s a check-up for the Kid. Not open heart surgery.

  Once we’re settled in the car and headed towards the private school, I slide out my cell phone, tempting myself to do the one thing I keep telling myself not to. I key in the password and stare at the picture of Logan and me with the Kid from his going away dinner. Both of them were smiling on each side of me. Tony snapped it only moments before the food was delivered and my night went to shit. I smirk at the thought of the two of them taking bites off my plate.

  “Why don’t you call him, Maxx? Call him and tell him,” Luke pushes again.

  I turn off the screen and look out the window. “It’s not that simple.”

  “And why not?”

  “Because I don’t wanna tell him over the phone! I wanna look him in the eye and see how he really feels about this. Us. And…a…small thing that sleeps in a crib.”

  “You mean a baby?” The word causes me to cringe.

&n
bsp; I don’t like babies. I mean, I’ve never really spent that much time around them or thought about them. I didn’t think it would ever be something I’d have to fucking worry about! Yeah, I took sex ed. Penis in vagina, roll the dice on conception. Got that. Hence why I was on the pill! Might as well have just thrown those out the goddamn window.

  “Just saying the word doesn’t knock you up, Maxx.” I turn my head at his light humor. “Besides, you’re already knocked up so there’re no worries even if it could. It’s not like saying it multiplies how many babies are inside you.”

  “B-b-b-babies?! What do you mean babies?”

  “Possibly twins, Maxx.”

  Two mini Logans and the Kid?! Two?! As in, not only one diaper to change but two? Not only one crying at 3 A.M. I have to get out of bed, because Logan has decided he’s deaf, but two?! I can’t breathe. Hand me a paper bag. Or a cupcake! Or two!

  “Stop freaking out,” he insists pulling up to a stop light. “Just a possibility, Maxx. At this point…there are many. Most important thing is getting you to the doc, getting you checked out, and making sure the baby is okay.”

  I nod that I understand and shut my eyes, my head hitting the headrest.

  “Can I suggest something?”

  “Is it a place for us to stop and get ice cream?” The sound of Luke’s light chuckle turns my head towards him and opens my eyes.

  “Go see Kellar’s first fight.”

  “What?”

  “Go see his first fight. Surprise him. Then afterward go to dinner, have sex, and tell him.”

  Isn’t having sex what got me in this predicament in the first place? Good Sex. Err…uh…Great sex. Ugh Fine! Mind blowing, award winning, I think I died and went to heaven fantastic sex. Geez. Way to drag that out of me.