Savor

by Xavier Neal

  I hate when Tony plays the logical card. Oh! And Luke too! He does that shit, too.

  “And, Kellar,” he says as Logan stands up straight, the red mark on his face pulsing from the looks of it. “I shouldn’t have to fucking justify myself to you. I meant what I said when I claimed Maxx and I were just friends. I’ve been helping your kid with shit you can’t do. Instead of fucking attacking, try fucking thanking me.”

  “Ready, Uncle Tony!” Dean travels down the stairs and hustles back over to us.

  Logan does his best to hide the red mark on his face as the kid plants a kiss on my cheek. “Love you, Mom.”

  “Love you, too.” I flop back in the chair.

  Tony gives my shoulder a squeeze at the same time Dean asks Logan, “You wanna come?”

  “I would, Kid, but your mom and I we…well we have some stuff to discuss.” Logan retreats his body so his back is against the edge of the counter. “But maybe we can catch a different one tomorrow.”

  “After my game? You’re coming right?”

  “Of course, Kid. Why do you think I came home?” Dean’s eyes light up and Logan says, “Now get out of here with your Uncle Tony before you miss the damn thing.”

  “Right.” Dean turns his attention to Tony who’s fishing his keys out of his pocket.

  I watch Logan give Tony an apologetic nod, and Tony accepts by making the same gesture.

  “Hey, Uncle Tony, can we get some popcorn? Oh and a pickle. Can I get a big pickle?”

  The last thing I hear Tony say before they’re gone is, “Kid, you just ate enough food to cure hunger in a starving third world nation, and you’re still hungry?”

  Once the door shuts, I stand, prepared to make an exit to my room.

  Technically, it’s our room, but I’ve already started gathering my stuff to move to the downstairs office, which will be a little tight when I get a bed to put in there, but I’ll live. I’d much rather live cramped than with someone who thinks I trapped him into spending his life with me.

  “We’re not gonna talk?” Logan nervously asks.

  “About what?” My body freezes itself.

  “About us.”

  “There is no us, Logan.”

  “Don’t say that.” He shakes his head slowly. “Please don’t say that…”

  The words stop my actions and I stare at him, my eyes stuck on his. “Logan, most of my life has revolved around you. When you hurt, I hurt. When you have nightmares, I’m right there to make them go away. When your old man put his hands on you, it was my window you climbed through, it was me who nursed those bruises, and it is me who still nurses those mental scars. All that, Logan, all that for you and you had the nerve to look me in the face and accuse me of trapping you into being with me.” Emotions get caught in my throat. “How the hell do you think that makes me feel?”

  “Maxx, I didn’t mean it—”

  “You never mean it! You never mean anything! You get pissed off like some sort of toddler without his juice box and I have to be the one to let it go! To tell you it’s okay! Tell you I forgive you with little to no consequence! Well, I’m done, Logan! I’m fucking done!”

  “You can’t be done…”

  “And why not?”

  Cautiously Logan moves his body towards mine. “Because I need you.”

  “You’re so full of shit.”

  “I’m not kidding, Maxx.”

  “No. You’re just saying what needs to be said so you can be forgiven! This is what you do, Logan! This! And it’s always me who gets run over by your runaway train of anger! Me. The one person who has always been there for you!”

  Logan carefully approaches me, his body much closer than I want it. “Maxx, look at me.” My eyes fall deep into his. “I mean…really look at me.” I let my eyes absorb him, his tense shoulders, and stiff his neck, the circles under his eyes and his exhausted face. Saddened I feel my hand twitch to want to reach out for him, but I choose not to. My eyes close in an attempt to not have to deal with this. With him. His voice cracks. “Maxx…” When I open my eyes, I see he’s on the verge of tears. I suck in a short breath. “Maxx, please don’t give up on me. Please…please…” And with the last word his arms pull me into him, and he does something I’ve never seen him do. He begins to cry.

  Chapter 11

  Logan

  Say it if you fucking want. Call me a pussy. Tell me I’m weak. Whatever the fuck you wanna say, but right now I couldn’t give a shit.

  Squeezing Maxx tightly, my head on her shoulder, I let tears fall from my eyes for the first time since my mother’s death. My chest aches as my shoulders shake, my entire body breaking down with the hope that Maxx will catch me. The hope that Maxx won’t let me fall. That she won’t walk away.

  “Please don’t give up on me, Maxx,” I beg softly through the tears. “You’re the only thing I have left in my life…” And nothing happens. She says nothing. She doesn’t move.

  Holy. Shit. I’ve lost her…

  The realization makes me cry harder and suddenly her hands are rubbing my back. In a soft voice she says, “Logan—”

  “No,” I shake my head. “Don’t do this. Don’t walk away from me. Please, Maxx…” When I lift my head to stare at her face, I see her own eyes have tears. “I’m sorry, Maxx. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

  “Why’d you say it?” she whispers.

  Maybe I haven’t lost her just yet.

  “Why’d you treat me like that? Why’d you—”

  “Because I’m an asshole! Because I’m fucking terrified, Maxx.” I swallow the tears that are in my throat.

  “And I’m not? I’m not afraid you’re out fucking the western hemisphere?!” she shrieks but doesn’t remove me from her arms.

  “You shouldn’t be. I haven’t been able to fucking function since you stepped foot in that ring. There has never been a person in my life that means anywhere near as much as you mean to me.”

  “Then why do you lash out at me?”

  “Because you lash out at me! Because I don’t have that part of my brain that logically tells me to shut the fuck up before I make things worse!”

  Don’t laugh because you know it’s true.

  “Because I’m scared you’re gonna wake up one morning and see me for the fuck up I am and leave me. That the only thing in this life that has made each day worth fucking getting out of bed for is gonna stroll out of my life and never look back! That’s why, Maxx. The thing I am most terrified of in the entire world isn’t even turning into my old man, but losing you.” By the way her shoulders slump, the confession seems to have faded a layer of anger across her body.

  “You always push me away, Logan. How many more times can you expect to do that before you’ve pushed me too far? Because right now…I’m really close.” I swallow the anxiety in my throat. “I really am, Logan. I can’t keep doing this with you. Especially not with the Kid and not with a baby. This bullshit has to stop. All of it.” A nod seems to be the only thing I’m capable of. Her hand touches my face, tears coating it. “You’re not the only one terrified of things, Logan. But now is the time, we’ve gotta put that fear aside. We have a family to raise. A kid who is almost 16, relying on us to give him the life we promised, and a baby who deserves a huge loving family, including a mommy and daddy who love each other.”

  The words let another tear fall. “You still love me?”

  Sniffling through her tears she rolls her eyes. “A little.”

  I push a short smile on my face and drop my hands to her hips. “Just a little?” When she nods I tilt my lips down to hover directly over hers, I repeat, “Just a little?”

  Her hands squeeze me tighter, clearly torn between melting for me, and standing her ground.

  Did I mention she’s even sexier when she’s fighting for what she cares about?

  “Lo—” is all that makes it out before my mouth is slammed against hers, hands now fisting her sweatshirt tightly. The minute her nails dig into my skin I groan and ki
ss her deeper, taking her tongue hostage as I back her body into the wall behind her. When she lets out a moan of approval, I free her shirt, run my hands through her hair and grip tightly, my tongue determined to enslave hers. To beg for a new level of forgiveness. To put everything I have into making sure she doesn’t ever think about leaving me.

  You’re damn right I can kiss that fucking good.

  Maxx pulls her lips away from me and breathlessly says, “We…we should really…”

  Looking into her hazed over brown eyes, I grin cockily. “Later.” I wet my lips again. “Later.” My lips fall onto hers and suck her bottom one into my mouth teasing it as she moans again. I grab Maxx by the hips, lift, and smile against her mouth when she wraps her legs around me.

  She tries to pull away and ask, “Am I too heavy?”

  “Baby, I’ve taken down fighters twice as heavy as you.” I assure her as I head us towards the couch. “And right now, the only thing I am worried about is how long until I am balls deep inside your beautiful body.”

  Maxx giggles and I push our lips back together continuing my path.

  Yeah. I know Erin’s rule about fucking in other rooms of the house, but I don’t give a shit. I’m gonna take my girl, right here, right now, and undo any doubt in her mind that I’ve ever wanted anyone else.

  I drop her onto the couch and mount my body on top of hers, my cock straining against my jeans to be free. Growling through the pain, I pull away, yank off her sweatshirt, thankful she isn’t wearing a bra so I can enjoy the view immediately, and latch my lips onto her neck, the spot right underneath her ear. When she moans louder, I slide my hand in the front of her yoga pants and am taken by surprise when my hand immediately meets her wet flesh.

  “Seriously?”

  She looks at me innocently for a moment before lifting her lips up and letting her tongue touch my top one. Like a sex kitten she purrs, “Seriously.”

  God, I’ve fucking missed this girl.

  Two fingers sink inside her as punishment for teasing me. Her head falls back on a louder moan, and my name spills from her tongue like some sort of worship of thanks spoken in another language that makes my dick need to replace my fingers as soon as fucking possible.

  “Logan…” she cries out, arching underneath my touch, her hand now clutching my t-shirt. Desperate. Needy.

  Fuck, that’s hot.

  “Now!” Maxx demands loudly. “I need you inside me now!”

  Proud and pleased, I bite my bottom lip, continuing to pump my fingers in her speedily. I hover my mouth next to her ear. “Not until you come for me, Maxx. Not until you’re begging for me.”

  Unhappily she snaps, “Goddamn it, Logan. Please!” Her hips start riding my fingers and I strain to not come in my pants. “Please!” She whimpers again, “Please…” And before I can deny her again, she explodes around my fingers, clamping around them so tightly my teeth lock onto her shoulder to keep from groaning louder than her, knowing I wanna hear that sound.

  Finally, the throbbing of her pussy starts to slow down and I know it’s time to go at it again. After yanking off her yoga pants and tossing them across the room, I pull down my own clothes just far enough for my cock to spring free. The hunger on Maxx’s face when she sees my dick causes me to growl, shove her legs apart, and dive deep inside. The contact of her tight, wet pussy trying to pull my orgasm out of me before I’ve even had a chance to fucking move.

  I am not about to come like I’m a 12 year old with my first Playboy.

  Without being able to control myself, I thrust hard and fast. One hand is clutching the arm of the couch, while the other is gripping Maxx’s leg for leverage as my cock pushes deeper and deeper calling to her body to climax again.

  Putting my lips against her ear I demand, “Come for me again, Maxx.” Her hand grips my shirt again at the same time as she shuts her eyes, fighting the urge to let go. I let my tongue tease her earlobe before saying, “You’re gonna come for me again, baby. Don’t fight it.” She whimpers again, gripping tighter on my shirt. “You know I need you. You know I need it. Give me what’s mine, Maxx.”

  “Oh God,” she calls out, her moans filling the entire house as she falls apart over my cock again.

  “Fuck, baby,” I sigh no longer able to restrain myself. My hand slips down to her ass cheek, and I thrust faster and faster, desperate to mark her body, desperate to fill her, desperate for her to know that she’s the only one who makes me this fucking out of control.

  “Come for me now…” Maxx whispers in my ear and my dick immediately obliges flooding her with several hard, long bursts, surprisingly, pulling one more orgasm out of her.

  Well, shit…

  Neither of us says anything while we lay there drenched in sweat, panting, eyes closed. After a long breath in an attempt to force my mind to fucking function again, I move my head over to lie on her chest. I tightly wrap an arm around her and pull her close to me.

  When her fingers start to comb through my hair, I close my eyes, and feel like I’m 10 years old all over again. “Maxx…”

  “Hm?” she hums out, fingers against my scalp, the soothing touch I need.

  “I’m scared.” The words stop her fingers briefly. My body tenses in response. As soon as they return to the motion I sigh, “I don’t wanna turn into my old man.”

  “Baby, you’re not gonna.”

  “I don’t know that.” My voice lowers to one I rarely use. “I don’t know if he was always that asshole that beat my mom when she was pregnant. I don’t know if he was ever normal and just fucking snapped. What if that’s the case? What if that’s me? What if I’m one snap away from—”

  “Stop it.” she fusses and my mouth closes. “You’re not him, Logan. You’re you. And you’ve spent your entire life doing things to not become him. And you won’t. Have some faith in yourself like I have in you, and you’ll see. You’ll see you’re not a chip off the old block, but the man your mother would’ve wanted you to be.” The mention of her causes the tears I thought were over to inch forward again. “I get that you’re scared of being a dad, but I’m scared too. We both came from…situations that weren’t ideal, but look at us now. I mean really look at us. My aunt and uncle, the Harts, rest their souls, Oliver, and then there are all of us in this house, and those who have joined us this year. Logan, family isn’t genetic makeup. It’s those people who stand beside you through anything and everything. I’m terrified of having a baby, but I look at the Kid and…we’re doing a pretty good job there. And we never have to do any of it alone.” Her words cause a small smile. “But I have to know, Logan…that you’re in this with me. I need you in this with me.”

  I lift my head and turn to look Maxx in the eyes with my head still resting on her chest. “I’m all in, Maxx. I’m all in.”

  And you’ll see. I really am all in on this one. Scared shitless. But she’s right. She needs me. And, after everything she’s done for me in my entire life, she deserves that much. I know. I know. I’m fucking terrified of having a kid, but not having Maxx scares me more. So fuck it. It’s time to stop fucking running from my past and dealing with what I want for my future. Yeah. I can’t believe I just said that either. Oh shut it. No need for the sarcastic cheers.

  Chapter 12

  Logan

  “If my kid loses, Tony, I’m blaming you,” I sigh, plopping down on the bleacher seat next to Maxx.

  These are hard as fucking rocks. Why don’t I remember them being so hard in high school? I mean most of my time spent in them was spent with a cheerleader riding my lap, so I guess that could’ve distracted me. What? Did you really expect me to say something else?

  “Wait. What?” Tony leans around from the other side of Maxx.

  Sliding my arm around her waist, I pull her in closer to me.

  Yeah. Still a little fucking jealous. Sue me.

  “You’re the basketball expert—”

  “I never said I was an expert—”

  “Therefore, if he fucking loses,
it’s your fault.”

  Tony’s jaw bobs before he snaps, “I’m not the kid’s coach.”

  “You’re like his trainer.” I lean back and enjoy ruffling his feathers.

  “That’s—that’s not—that’s—” he stutters, and I start chuckling until Maxx’s elbow lands in my ribs.

  “Stop fucking with Tony.”

  “You’re fucking with me?” Tony asks. When I smile in response he says, “You’re such an asshole, Kellar.”

  “Is this new?” Luke sarcastially ponders, sitting down in the row in front of us next to his sister and C.J..

  “No more new than you trying to pull off page 7 of the Macy’s sweater catalog,” Erin says crossing her legs and shaking her head at her brother.

  I snicker and Luke snaps, “Says the one wearing page 9 boots.”

  “What’s wrong with my boots?”

  “Nothing. They look as great on you as they did on the hooker I saw on 5th street last weekend.”

  C.J. hides a chuckle along with the rest of us, but catches Erin’s wrath. “Really? You’re laughing? Mister, the only expensive thing I own are a pair of designer jeans you probably got on a clearance sale? No fashion giggles from you.”

  How hard do you think her head is gonna spin around when she finds out he’s not only a lawyer, but a rich one at that? Think she’s gonna go full exorcist?

  “Can we focus, please?” Maxx speaks up curling into my body, the smell of chocolate flooding my nose.

  Man, I’ve missed that smell.

  “Game’s about to start,” her voice says to the group but her eyes land on me.

  They’re bright and full of mischief. My eyes lower to her tongue that is wetting her lips in a languorous fashion. She raises her eyebrows when she bites her bottom lip. I can feel my dick start to stiffen.