Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1)

by Deorre, Iris

‘I’m fine, thank you.’

  He waited a little while, then left her to it. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with himself, but he wasn’t going to leave her alone. He took it upon himself to sort out the house, give it a clean. He took to washing some clothes, he did things he hadn’t done since he left university. It felt good, it felt like he’d gone back to normal. It felt like he’d lost himself in the whirlwind of prosperity, that he’d forgotten how it felt to be normal.

  Later that day, Eugene went into to check in on her. She still seemed sound asleep. He crept in and lay gently beside her. He put his hand around her waist and lay into her. He shut his eyes and listened to her breathe. Sahara shifted only just, but didn’t wake.

  The following days were a huge adjustment for the couple. At times Sahara lost her temper, not because of anything he did, but because of what she couldn’t do. All the emotions were new to her, things she’d never experienced. She’d always been upbeat and positive, but Eugene had somehow changed that.

  ‘I’m struggling here,’ she said one morning after being sick in the toilet bowl. ‘I can’t accept you, I’m trying, but I can’t.’

  ‘I get it. You’re feeling vulnerable. This is the first time you’re letting a man into your life. You think I’m going to run away, but I’m not.’

  ‘Oh Eugene, look at me.’ She turned to the mirror that was in the passage way. ‘I’ve got to get rid of that mirror.’ She studied her body, the past few days had really taken a lot out of her.

  The nausea was easing up a bit, but it hadn’t stopped her from shedding the pounds. Her mouth was dry, her skin felt itchy, she just wanted to hide under the covers forever, but she knew that wasn’t the way to live.

  ‘You’ll be fine. I know what you really look like when you’re feeling good. This is only temporary.’ He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist. ‘Look at us, we look good together.’

  She smiled faintly.

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘Of course I do.’ He kissed her cheek.

  She sunk into him and allowed him to be her anchor. For once in her life she would let someone else be the driver.

  Chapter Nine

  After a few weeks things went back to normal, as normal as they could get. Sahara went back to work as did Eugene. They’d managed to live together without any trouble, once Sahara had accepted his help. It was a hard time to adjust back to living on her own, she’d come to rely on his help.

  That evening she was happy, not only was she having her friends over, there was one more session of chemotherapy left, and that was it. It made her feel happy that she wouldn’t have to feel sick and struggle through it.

  She poked the jacket potatoes in the oven to see if they were ready yet.

  ‘A few more minutes.’ She mumbled to herself then checked the chicken Cancun curry. ‘Everything is perfect!’

  She pulled out the bottle of wine she’d bought for the girls and a few bottles of J2O for herself. Just as she was about to head upstairs, the doorbell rang. Sahara’s heart leapt, she was like a little girl having her friends over for a sleep over. It was her way of just being, and she love every moment of it.

  ‘Hey!’ Both Emily and Felicity shrilled.

  They took her into a big hug.

  ‘You look great!’ said Emily.

  ‘Thank you, I feel great. I’m definitely a ten today!’

  ‘That’s great news! It must be that new man in your life!’ Felicity winked.

  ‘You told her?’ asked Sahara.

  ‘I had no choice, she forced me to tell her.’

  ‘Oh I did not, she just couldn’t help herself.’

  ‘Well then, since none of you want to own up to this, I’ll tell you myself. Yes, it’s the new man in my life. He definitely has done something to me.’

  ‘Wow! I never thought Eugene had it in him,’ said Emily.

  They walked into the living-room where Sahara had spread a large blanket and large cushions on the floor. Emily was the first one to pull off her shoes and sit with her legs crossed.

  ‘All this yoga is making me supper flexible.’ She showed off her pose.

  ‘When did you start yoga?’ asked Sahara. ‘You never mentioned that.’

  ‘That’s because you were too busy shagging that man of yours!’ She started to pull off her jacket.

  ‘Emily O’Brian, how dare you!’

  ‘So it’s true then?’ Felicity pulled off her jacket and sat down on one of the cushions, but not in a yoga pose.

  ‘Don’t try and change the subject, when did you start yoga, I might like to try it myself.’

  ‘A couple of weeks ago, its brill.’ She lifted her hands and then went down to the floor. ‘It’s turned me into a better person.’ She turned her head and gazed up at Sahara.

  ‘It has, has it?’ Sahara said.

  ‘Oh yes. Anyway, what’s on for tonight?’

  ‘Well, I have wine for you two. I’ve made Jacket potatoes with Chicken Cancun curry and a salad.

  ‘Sounds fab, I’m starving,’ said Emily.

  ‘You’re always starving these days, what gives?’ said Felicity.

  ‘Are you pregnant?’ asked Sahara.

  ‘Don’t be silly, not yet.’ She giggled. ‘Maybe.’ She continued to laugh. ‘I don’t know, but I will have to pass on the wine, just in case.’

  ‘So it’s a whole bottle for me!’ said Felicity.

  ‘After dinner, I have blueberry frozen yogurt.’

  ‘Yummy!’ Emily said.

  ‘We can catch up during our meal, and later watch a movie.’

  ‘Anything you have in mind?’ asked Emily.

  ‘You guys have a scroll on sky movies, I’m okay with anything.’

  ‘Will do.’ Felicity reached for the remote control.

  Sahara left them to it while she went to sort out the food and drinks. Thirty minutes later they were all sat on the floor, chatting and giggling about anything and everything.

  ‘This feels great!’ said Sahara. ‘I can eat, I can laugh and I can have sex.’

  ‘Oh go on, tell us!’ Emily pried. ‘Is he good in bed?’

  ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I take that as a yes,’ said Emily.

  ‘I’m glad you’re having a great time. We’re happy you finally get some bedroom action. Lack of it was making you ever so uptight,’ said Felicity.

  ‘Really, what bedroom action are you getting?’

  ‘You know me, I’m the friends with benefits girl.’

  ‘So you’re still at it with him?’ asked Emily.

  ‘Weak I know. I really should dump him. I took your advice on board, what you said the last time really hit me. I guess I’ve enjoyed it up until a moment, now I want more.’

  ‘It’s good to want more,’ said Sahara. ‘I don’t think any woman in her right mind could keep it up long term.’

  ‘It’s just the breaking up part.’

  ‘How can you break up from a relationship that wasn’t even in existence in the first place?’ asked Emily.

  Felicity hit her playfully with a small cushion.

  ‘Take your time, you’ll figure it out. There will come a time when you just won’t want to do it anymore, and you’ll let him know, but make sure you’re ready, otherwise you’ll just keep on going back to him.’

  Felicity nodded, she was certain that she was ready. The relationship gave her nothing in return. It was like buying a lottery ticket and hoping someday she’d win. It was a poor investment with no returns.

  ‘I’ve got one more session of chemo left!’

  ‘Oh wow! This is exciting?’ Emily wasn’t sure.

  ‘I hope so. I’ll know soon enough if they’ve got rid of all the cancer.

  ‘I’m sure it’s done the job,’ said Emily.

  ‘I’m hopeful. I mean Eugene has put a lot of things into perspective.’ She smiled. ‘Speak of the devil.’ Her phone buzzed. ‘You don’t mind if I get that.’

  ‘No of
course not, ignore us as much as you like, we’ll live,’ said Emily.

  Sahara stood up and moved back into the kitchen with the plates in one hand and the mobile in the other.

  ‘Hey.’ She put down the plates.

  ‘Hey you! How are you?’

  ‘I’m great thanks. How are you?’ She felt warm inside.

  ‘Missing you.’

  ‘I miss you too,’ she said. ‘I’m having a great time though.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it. I don’t want to keep you from your girl’s night.’

  ‘Well I can’t hear them complaining.’

  ‘And we want to keep it that way. Anyway honey, I just wanted to hear your voice.’

  She smiled.

  ‘I love you,’ he said.

  ‘I love you too, see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Yes, see you tomorrow.’

  She hung up, and while she was still in the kitchen she decided to get the tubs of frozen yogurt.

  ‘Have you ladies decided what you’d like to watch?’ she handed them a tub each.

  ‘We’ll go for ‘How to loose a guy in ten days.’

  ‘Let me guess, Felicity’s choice.’

  ‘Why do you think it’s my choice?’

  ‘Is it or isn’t it?’

  ‘Fine, it’s my choice.’

  ‘I knew it!’

  ‘Can we just watch the movie now?’ asked Emily.

  They settled down and watched the movie. Sahara loved the feeling of having her friends with her. It was like being back at high school, when things still made sense.

  ‘You guys are still staying over.’

  ‘Yep, I’m not driving after that bottle of wine,’ said Felicity.

  ‘Yes, Myles is away for the weekend, so it’s me time.’

  ‘Great!’

  It was a night to remember and hopefully a picture of good things to come.

  ****

  ‘Did you miss me?’ He took her into his arms.

  ‘Of course I missed you!’

  He shut the door behind them.

  ‘Show me how much.’ He touched her lips with his.

  Her body told her just how much as it weakened bit by bit. His strong arms wrapped around her body, and he drew her close.

  ‘This much.’ She breathed into him.

  ‘I can tell.’ He mumbled against her lips.

  He lifted her light body into his arms, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and kissed him passionately. It had never occurred to her that one day she’d be with a man as wonderful as him. It shocked her that he even wanted her, wanted to be by her side even when she wasn’t at her best.

  He took them upstairs and into the bedroom. He was gentle as he lay her down on the bed. He took a moment to admire her. There was a wide grin on his face.

  ‘You have the most beautiful eyes.’ She couldn’t stop gazing at them.

  ‘I could say the same to you. I love your eyes, as dark as the night, so mysterious, they offer so much excitement.’

  ‘They do?’

  ‘Yes, they do. I love you Sahara. You’ve made me so happy, you’ve changed the way I view the world.’

  She kept her gaze on him.

  ‘You’ve taught me how important today is. This moment I’m in right now, is the best I have. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.’

  She flung her arms around his neck and brought him closer. Her eyes shut as their lips touched. The warm breath on his lips sent a wave of excitement through his body. He felt complete, like he’d found what he’d been looking for.

  ‘I’m so glad I came to the wedding.’ He mumbled.

  ‘Hmmm.’ She kept her lips on his.

  Instead of explaining himself, he began to explore her body beneath the clothes. His teeth took in her nipple that was beneath the fabric. He teased it tenderly and Sahara let go. She was no longer shy or ashamed of her body. What mattered was the man who touched her, who made her feel like the most important person in the world.

  He ran his lips down towards her waist, stopped and began to unbutton the jeans. Her brown flesh was now partly exposed, he loved the way she looked, the way his skin was in contrast to hers. He ran soft kisses over her stomach, ran them down towards her silky panties. She let out a light moan as he explored her.

  He pushed back and began to wiggle the jeans off her. He planted soft kisses up her delicious brown thighs. Sahara breathed heavily as he continued his exploration of her body. He crawled up softly and undid the buttons to the shirt.

  ‘You are more beautiful every time I see you.’ He kissed her bare chest. ‘You’re the prettiest woman I know. You’re beautiful both inside and outside.’

  She giggled.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing, I’m just really enjoying this, keep going.’

  ‘Oh I will, there aren’t enough words to describe the way I feel about you.’

  Goosebumps trailed her body, she shut her eyes and enjoyed the teasing sensations of his touch. He kissed her scar tenderly, there was still feeling around it. He moved to her breast and cupped it in his hand, and flicked his tongue over the stiff nipple. She let out another soft moan as her body caved into the brilliant sensations.

  He stopped for a moment, just so that he could rid himself of the clothes that were keeping him from feeling her warm skin. He fell back into her with his amazing naked body. He couldn’t stop smiling, he was happy and he wanted to show her just how much.

  ‘Hi there,’ he said.

  ‘Hi.’ She smiled up at him.

  ‘How do you feel?’

  ‘Amazing.’ Even though tomorrow would bring a different feeling, Sahara chose to focus on the man above her. ‘I feel happy, I feel all warm and fuzzy.’

  ‘Fuzzy.’ He giggled. ‘I feel fuzzy too.’

  She giggled and brought him back to her again. They kissed passionately, discovered each other’s mouth. She could kiss him forever and that would be enough. He pulled back only just, lingered a moment and then returned to her soft lips. He did that a couple of times, and each time it heightened her pleasure. He ran his hand down the middle of her stomach, down towards her panties and lingered there. He ran a thumb over her middle, applying the right amount of pressure on her clit.

  ‘Oh yes!’ she whispered.

  He did it a couple of times, and then finally lowered her wet panties. He ran his thumb over her exposed skin. She was wet to the touch. With enough wetness on his thumb he took it into his mouth and savoured it.

  ‘You taste so good.’ He sounded like he was humming. ‘So good.’ He placed his thumb back against her clit and rubbed gently.

  Each stroke sent shock waves of pleasure jolting through her body. He had the experience, he knew exactly how to press against her bean. As she moaned, and enjoyed the pleasure he gave, he dropped his thumb just a little lower and pressed against the hole, the tip only just entering her warm place.

  ‘Oh yes!’ Her breathing heightened.

  She lifted her hips to meet his finger. She wanted more of it in her. Reading the message loud and clear, Eugene dug his thumb deeper into her, and it disappeared into the warm moist. While rotating his thumb she met him with equal vigour, with his index finger he put pressure around the rim of her bum.

  ‘Oh…don’t stop!’

  ‘I would never dream of doing that.’ He placed more pressure on her rim.

  Her head dug into the billow, her hands clawed the sides of the bed covers as she enjoyed the pleasure he delivered. It became intense, the pressure too much to bear. Her body gave in, and she wriggled about as she gave into a powerful orgasm.

  Eugene didn’t give her time to recover, he was bursting to enter her. He rose to his knees, lifted both her legs to his shoulders and entered her. It was a welcomed shock. Each action he took was fast and desperate. Her moans had turned him wild, his alpha instinct to possess her had overtaken him. With each leg on his shoulder, he rammed into her hard.

  Sahara had never felt such desperation, it made her feel
so wanted that her body was soon caving into another powerful orgasm. But he wasn’t done yet. He pulled out, dropped her legs, took her by the arms and pulled her to a sitting position. As he moved forward to kiss her, his black locks fell to the front of his face.

  He pulled her to her knees and gently turned her so that her bum was facing him. He planted gentle kisses across her bum. He lowered between each bum cheek and with his tongue, he placed pressure on her rim.

  She couldn’t hold back, Sahara loved that sensation. Her body did things she never thought capable. He withdrew and quickly guarded himself into her. There was slapping of warm flesh against each other. Both parties were in their world, in a realm of ecstasy. It was fun, it was exciting and it had their minds ensnared. It was all that was in their focus, and it brought out the most precious feeling of their love for each other.

  Finally Eugene felt he was about to explode. He rubbed her clit eagerly as he rode her. Finally he took his cue from the way her body moved, from the sounds that departed from her mouth. Eugene gave into to a big explosion!

  They dropped into the bed, in each others arms breathing like they’d just completed the London marathon.

  ‘I…love you!’ she whispered.

  He kissed her forehead. ‘I love you more.’

  It was a night to remember, a night she would never forget and a night she wished would last forever.

  Chapter Ten

  Morning came sooner than she would’ve liked.

  ‘Look at it this way honey, it’s your last one.’

  ‘I know and I’m trying to focus on that, but after that, then what?’

  ‘After that we live our lives.’

  ‘That’s if I’m cancer free.’

  ‘You will be, don’t worry about it.’

  ‘You don’t get it.’ She felt vulnerable all over again, more so after she’d opened up to him intimately.

  ‘You’re right, I don’t get it.’ He’d begun to notice when her defences were up. ‘Tell me what you feel.’ He slipped on his shoes as they got ready in the bedroom.

  ‘Afraid.’ She sat beside him. ‘What if the chemo hasn’t’ worked?’

  ‘Then you’ll cross that bridge when you get there. Also you can look at it in another way. What if the chemo has worked or what if you don’t think of either and let the day just go as it should.’