by Lynde Lakes
“I’m trying to apologize,” he said, “if you’d kindly simmer down. I’m downright sorry about what just happened here. I didn’t mean to lasso you. I was showing Sanchez how I…” His voice trailed away in a regretful tone that softened her heart.
“Let me go, and we can forget the whole thing.”
He took the lasso from around her, brushing her arm in the process. She flinched from his searing touch. Something deep within told her it was a good thing she wasn’t staying on the Bar R, because her mixed emotions about this cowboy meant trouble.
She looked down at her spilled clothing. A bra and a pair of panties peeked out beneath the tangle. Face flaming, she bent to retrieve them. The cowboy squatted to his haunches beside her. Beating her to the draw, he scooped up the undies, along with her other dusty clothes, and stuffed them back inside her suitcase.
“Damn it. You’re not helping.” Amber counted to ten. She couldn’t let this man lasso her emotions like one of the cattle.
“I’m trying,” he muttered. He picked up her dusty hat, swatted it a couple of times against his powerful-looking thigh, then plunked the misshapen straw hat with the crooked sunflower back onto her head.
She adjusted it. “Well, don’t,” she said. “You’re not good at handling women’s things.”
All signs of agitation left his face. He laughed and looked up at her with mischief in his eyes. “That’s not what most women say, sweet thing.”
She glared at him. “I’m not most women, and I’m not a bit interested in what your bimbos say to stroke your overinflated ego.”
A masked expression crossed his face. When he stood again, he said, “How about we start again?” His voice deepened. He wiped his hand on his Levi’s and extended it to her. “I’m Luke Ryan and—”
“What?” Amber stepped back. “You left me waiting twenty minutes in your office to play with a lasso? If that’s how you run your business, Mr. Ryan, I’m glad I decided not to take this job.”
He closed his eyes briefly and groaned. “You’re Amber Smith?”
She didn’t bother to answer. He knew. Awareness was written all over his rugged face.
For some puzzling and unsettling reason beyond the regret she saw in his eyes, and her immediate need for a roof over her head, she was suddenly willing to reconsider the job. But even if she killed her chances, this cowpoke deserved to be told off. She gestured with her head toward Pete. “Don’t try to say he didn’t tell you I was waiting.”
“Like I said, I didn’t know it was you.” He looked her up and down, then gestured helplessly with his hands. “You said you’d taught kindergarten and worked as a librarian. I was expecting someone more…well, plain.”
“Forgive him, miss,” Pete said. “Ever since they opened Lady Liela’s place on the other side of the mountain we’ve had a string of real pretty women coming through, hitching rides with the truckers. And when I saw you get out of the semi—” He cleared his throat. “It’s my fault. I told Luke you might be one of them.”
Amber frowned. It was getting worse by the minute. “You think I look like a hooker?”
“Let’s get off that,” Luke said. “It’s all a stupid mistake. You don’t look like a hooker. You’re pretty, that’s all.”
“Don’t say that again. From you, it sounds like a character assault.”
He settled his Stetson back on his head. “Trading digs will get us nowhere. You came all this way, and I think we can work this out. How about we finish our talk in the office in private?”
“We’re already finished,” she said.
“Come on.” He flashed her an irresistible grin. “Where’s your sense of humor? Haven’t you ever made a mistake—something you wished you could take back?”
If regaining consciousness next to a dead body counted—she’d made a doozy of a mistake. Besides, she had come all this way. She should at least check out the job. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. The whites around Luke’s intense brown pupils weren’t bloodshot, and his tanned skin looked vibrant, healthy. Perhaps he wasn’t an alcoholic. Even if he was, so what? Maybe his boozing could work in her favor. A drunk wouldn’t be sharp, making it easier for her to avoid a lot of questions.
****
Luke watched the stiffness roll from Amber’s body. He took her by the arm, reading the more relaxed stance as a yes. “Tom, take care of the lady’s bag,” he called over his shoulder.
Although Amber allowed him to lead her away, she gave a defiant shake of her head, sending her hair swishing across her shoulders. She gave the silky windblown mess a little shake every time he said something she didn’t like, which was often. The habit riled him. Yet she intrigued him, and for the life of him he couldn’t say exactly why. The prickly female had hair the color of blazing amber, all full of gold and red highlights, and a tongue as sharp as a razor. Roping her was an accident, and he was sorry as hell it had happened, but she had a rotten sense of humor about it. The hooker remarks had only made the situation worse.
When they reached the office, Luke took off his Stetson and tossed it across the room. It hooked over the wooden name plate of Matt Ryan, burying his brother’s symbol of dominion beneath the cover of suede. Luke motioned to a chair, then sat on the edge of the desk facing Amber. “I’ve never hired a nanny before,” he said. “Need to be sure you’re right for the job. Alicia is very precious to me.”
Amber shot to her feet. “I came all this way. I thought this was a done deal, the interview just a formality.”
“You knew we needed to meet first. Besides, you gave the impression a few minutes ago that you weren’t sure you wanted the job. Looks like we were both keeping our options open.”
Amber glared at him with the greenest eyes he’d ever seen, but she sat back down. He’d bet if she had other options she wouldn’t have come here to the end of the Earth in the first place. And sure as hell wouldn’t stay.
“Like I told you on the phone, my three-year-old daughter needs a loving companion, teacher, and playmate.”
“Sort of like a mom. I can do that.”
The word mom shot through Luke like a bullet. His daughter had no mom. He’d tried to be both mother and father to her in the past year and found himself lacking.
From a file folder, Luke pulled the application he’d taken yesterday over the phone.
Amber had sidestepped most of his questions. Now he needed to fill in the blanks. He wanted the best person for the job. The trouble was, only two people had applied. The other woman, Ms. Simms, had backed out when he told her the ranch was five hours from a big city, and an hour from the four newly opened establishments in Stampede Junction.
“Your teaching and librarian jobs in San Antonio covered only two years,” Luke said. “Where did you work before that?”
“Are you the owner of this ranch?” she shot back as though he had to prove his right to ask her questions.
He drummed his fingers on the desk and saw her looking at them as though his impatience told her something. “My brother, Matt, and I are partners.”
“Who’ll sign my pay check?”
He frowned at her excessive interest in money. “I will. It’s a personal expense.”
“This is a big ranch,” she said.
“Two thousand plus acres. What’s your point?”
“The buildings look well cared for. Cattle look fat, healthy.”
Dammit, if she was leading up to asking for more money before she even got started, she could forget it. He handed her a framed picture. “This is my Alicia. You’re here to take care of her. And that’s it.” Only a strong, unexplainable instinct about this woman kept him from sending her back where she had come from.
“Big, blue eyes,” Amber said. “She’s adorable. Not much family resemblance, is there?”
Luke refused to react. He had a hunch the subtle insult was a distracting tactic to avoid giving facts about herself.
Amber stood and paced, her movements smooth, effortless, like a mountain cat.
“You mentioned there’d be some travel with this job. What does that entail?”
“I want to hit the rodeo circuit again, and I need my daughter with me.” He needed time away from the ranch—from the memories. He’d start with the upcoming charity event. Then he wanted to go after some big purses—get some cash that had nothing to do with the ranch or his brother—something all his own.
“Separate accommodations?”
He couldn’t contain his smile. “Gonna rent a two bedroom travel trailer. A big, classy one with all the bells and whistles.”
Luke groaned. He’d never interviewed anyone before, and Amber was twisting him around her little finger, making him answer all the questions. What was she hiding? Her Levi’s and shirt definitely didn’t hide her long legs and gorgeous body. She stopped and faced him, rubbing her arms. Her hard shell crumbled right before him from the outside in, like a human implosion. He had a ridiculous, overwhelming urge to go to her. He gripped the edge of the desk and hung on for dear life. “Back to your work record…” He tapped the paper with his pen.
“Look,” she said, “I don’t have an extensive work history, but I need the job and I’m good with kids. If you give me a chance, you won’t be sorry.”
The desperation in her voice curled inside him. He knew what it was like to need a chance. If his brother hadn’t given him repeated chances, he might still be a drunk instead of a responsible part owner of the Bar R.
He leaned forward, drawn by the feisty woman’s vulnerability. Then, it hit him like the impact of a charging Brahma—the reason he felt so sympathetic to her, and the reason he wanted to believe in her, was because she reminded him of his brother’s wife, Molly, a woman he deeply respected. It wasn’t just the red-gold highlights glittering in her hair, and the beguiling heart-shaped face, it was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Both women were lookers and spunky as hell, but it was more than that. It was an expression on her face—a flicker of something in her green eyes. When he’d met his sister-in-law, she’d had the same wary look. And although Molly had her secrets when she’d first came to the ranch, it turned out she was all about everything good and honest. And she was a wonderful mother.
Amber’s chin trembled like she might cry. “Look, either hire me or send me away,” she said with a tremor in her voice. “I haven’t slept for forty-eight hours and my last meal was a breath mint. I’m losing ground fast.”
He was too, and it had nothing to do with a lack of food or sleep. It was about how she made him feel, how she stired an urge to help her.
Luke glanced at Amber’s pathetic application, then into her hopeful eyes. He sighed. “We’ll give it a try for a month, and if we’re both happy with the deal, we’ll work out something more permanent.” He held her gaze, looking for an inner integrity, and wanting to believe he found it.
“Thanks. I promise, I’ll take good care of your daughter,” she said with a fierceness that twisted his heart.
A hot, reckless emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time rose like a Phoenix from the ashes. He extended his hand and said, “Welcome to the Bar R.” His heart pounded as he took her small, soft hand in his and shook it. He suddenly felt like he’d leapt off a 2500-pound bull and slipped beneath its hooves. His throat constricted, and he had trouble getting his next words out. “I know you’ll be a great nanny for my little Alicia.” He prayed his instincts about this secretive woman weren’t wrong. He was trusting her with the most important person in his life—and his only reason for living.
****
Amber followed Luke up the porch steps, admiring the ferns planted in huge ceramic pots.
“We can get some eats fast here at the main house,” Luke said as he opened the front door to a foyer that resembled a set for the movie Giant. Elegant, impressive. “Kitchen’s this way.”
He took her arm and escorted her across the shiny, quarry tile floor, allowing only a glimpse of the Spanish-influenced grandeur. Amber stiffened when she heard voices. Luke propelled her through the doorway. Aromas of eggs and bacon filled the air. Her stomach growled—then clenched into a knot. A man and two women sat at the kitchen table like a jury waiting to decide her fate. She wiped her damp palms on her Levi’s, fighting an impulse to run.
Luke placed his hand in the small of her back and urged her forward. He gestured to the man sitting at the head of the table. “Amber, this is my brother, Matt.” Matt was tall and dark-haired like Luke, but a few years older and a bit more muscular. Luke winked at the woman sitting next to Matt. “And this lovely redhead, with a fiery temper to match, is Matt’s wife, Molly.” He met Matt’s gaze and gestured with his head to Amber. “Notice any resemblance?”
Matt frowned.
Apparently unruffled by Matt’s silence, Luke leaned over and kissed the cheek of a silver-haired woman. “And last but not least,” he said, “this is my mom, Virginia. The best cook in the whole state of Texas.”
“Hi,” Amber said past the constriction in her throat.
Her heartbeat quickened when Luke brushed her arm as he gestured in her direction. “Folks,” he said, “this is Amber Smith, Alicia’s new nanny.”
Surprise shot across their faces. Amber wondered why Luke hadn’t discussed this with his family? Weren’t they as close as they seemed?
Matt wrinkled his brow. His probing gaze reminded Amber of cop’s eyes, so brown, so hard. She shivered. After a tense moment, he smiled. “Welcome to the Bar R.” He stood and extended a hand.
Luke sent him an unreadable look. “I thought we could scare up some breakfast leftovers to hold Amber until she’s had a chance to rest.”
“Of course,” Virginia said, rising. “Are biscuits and scrambled eggs all right, dear?”
Amber’s throat was dry, but somehow she managed to say, “Sounds wonderful.”
“Where are you from?” Matt’s words shot out like a cop grilling a suspect.
Amber rubbed her aching head. Would her skull split open and pour out all of her secrets? Secrets she had yet to learn? “Would you happen to have an aspirin?” Amber asked Molly.
“Sure thing. That and Virginia’s biscuits and eggs will fix you right up.” Molly handed her a pill and a glass of water.
“Thanks,” Amber murmured, wishing she could disappear.
Matt poured her some coffee. “Where’d you say you’re from?”
The knot in her stomach tightened. “San Antonio,” she said, praying this would be the end of the questions.
“She taught kindergarten there,” Luke said.
He glanced at her with a warm look that made her feel oddly protected. In this family setting, Luke seemed more real, and someone she could count on. But that was ridiculous. She could count only on herself.
“Which school?” Matt asked.
Amber swallowed. “San Antonio Elementary.”
Matt wrinkled his brow.
She hoped there was a school with that name. God, she hadn’t planned this. All she remembered was the bloody body and her need to escape before the cops locked her up for murder, or before the real murderer, if indeed there was one, came back for her. She grasped her coffee mug with both trembling hands.
Amber felt Molly’s gaze on her, studying her like she sensed some mysterious sisterhood between them.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
Virginia placed steaming eggs in front of Amber. “Let the girl eat while it’s hot,” she said. “Biscuits coming right up.”
“Yeah. Eat up,” Luke said. “After breakfast I’ll take you to my place and get you settled so you can rest.” He glanced at Matt. “Amber hasn’t slept for forty-eight hours, so ease up, bro.”
“Oh?” Matt’s eyebrows shot up. “Why not?”
Luke sent Matt a quelling look, then distracted everyone with a joke one of the vaqueros had told him.
Thank you, God, Amber thought. She sat quietly and huddled in her chair, trying to make herself very small, wishing she were invisible.
When Luke finis
hed his joke, Virginia and Molly discussed the new shopping mall in Stampede Junction.
Matt shook his head. “It’ll be nice for you gals having shopping so close, but Liela’s Passion Palace will be a headache. The place has only been open two weeks, and already Liela’s started sending her girls here to solicit our men.”
Luke exchanged a look with Amber. She lowered her eyes, still furious that he’d thought she was one of them.
“Let the sheriff worry about it,” Virgina said. “What about the charity rodeo for Mother Maria’s Orphanage?”
“It’ll be at Buck’s place,” Luke said. “Same as always. Matt and I offered to help set things up.”
“Let’s make it a family thing,” Victoria said. “I can’t ride bulls or fix fences, but I can cook for all you hungry workers.”
Amber sighed. She already liked Luke’s family. Did she have a family somewhere who loved her, missed her? Someone she could love?
“Ever been to a rodeo?” Molly asked.
Not sure, Amber merely shook her head. She wanted to offer to help with the charity event, but helping meant getting involved, and she couldn’t risk that. Working for this inquisitive cowboy entailed enough risk.
Chapter Two
In spite of Luke’s keen awareness of Amber sitting in the passenger seat next to him, he stiffened as he pulled in front of the house he’d built for Connie Lou and Alicia. He turned off the ignition but didn’t move, waiting for the loneliness to hit. He had finished the main level of their two story home before Connie Lou’s death, but afterward he’d had no heart to complete the upstairs—no heart to even go into the house—but to make Alicia’s life as normal as possible, he forced himself. During the day he hid his pain in hard work, wisecracks and an arrogant shell. In the evening when Alicia was awake, he was too busy to let the memories get him down. But after he tucked her in for the night, the quiet house closed in on him like a heavy fog, and he fought the mind-shedding torment.
“Will Alicia be here?” Amber asked. Two tiny creases formed at the bridge of her nose, making her look adorable.