by Lynde Lakes
Damn it. He shouldn’t be noticing that she was a very attractive young woman. But a man would have to be dead not to notice. When he’d taken her application over the phone, she claimed to be twenty-six. She looked closer to twenty. Was she worried about spending the night here without Alicia as a buffer? He wouldn’t have let Connie Lou’s family talk him into letting Alicia stay the extra day if he’d known he’d find a nanny this soon. He could pick Alicia up tonight, but it might spoil her fun.
“She’s with her maternal grandparents,” he said, keeping his tone casual. He wasn’t crazy about his in-laws because they badmouthed him in front of his daughter. They made it clear in a passel of ways that they hadn’t forgiven him for his earlier sins and never would. Still, they had a right to see their grandchild. At least that’s what everyone said. “I’ll pick her up tomorrow after breakfast.”
“Good, I’m eager to meet your daughter.”
Amber sounded like she meant it. A good sign. He tapped the steering wheel, still not moving. In the distance, men worked on the split corral fences. He would check the job when he finished here. Sun poured in the open car window, falling on Amber’s face, making it appear translucent. She sat stiff as a board. Maybe he should ease any concerns she might have.
“You’ll be on your own today to rest and get settled,” he said. “After I show you to your room, I’ll take off to do some chores, and you’ll have the whole place to yourself. I’ll come back around dinner time. If you’re up, we can eat a bite together. Then I’ll head up to the main house. Probably spend the night there.”
She exhaled deeply. “Good.”
Luke rounded the truck and opened the passenger door. He offered his hand and started at the charge of electricity that passed between them. Amber’s face flushed as though she felt it too. He had felt the same awareness when he’d brushed her arm while removing the rope. Luke took a deep breath and stepped back. When he decided to hire a nanny, he hadn’t thought about having a physical attraction to her. If he wanted this arrangement to work, he’d better keep his hands to himself.
Blaring music came from inside his house. Tita must’ve left the radio on, but it wasn’t like her to play it so loud. Sometimes she brought her son, Roberto, along to move furniture so she could clean behind and under everything. That was probably it.
“Who else lives in your house?” Amber’s eyes flashed, green as the deepest part of Verde Creek, measuring him with distrust.
Luke drove a hand into his hair, slicking it back from his forehead, and sighed. “Just me and Alicia. The head vaquero’s wife, Tita, comes a couple of days a week to tidy up. But my daughter and I are pretty much on our own.”
At Amber’s leery look, Luke added, “This job’s all about my daughter—nothing else.”
Amber’s shoulders relaxed again.
Luke grabbed her suitcase from the bed of the pickup truck where Pete had stowed it. He started to take Amber’s arm. Whoa. Not a good idea. The less he touched her the better.
She walked up the steps beside him, looking thoughtful. “Your family seemed surprised you’d hired a nanny. Didn’t you tell them?”
“Wanted to get everything set first. Haven’t sprung my rodeo curcuit plans on them, either.” Matt would probably explode when he left him with the full responsibility of the ranch. Luke paused and squeezed his keys so tight they cut into his hand. Matt deserved better, but even if it caused hard feelings, Luke knew he had to do this. Hitting the rodeo circuit would release his building tension and give the temporary escape he needed to get on with his life. Alicia would benefit from the change, too. At least that was what he’d been telling himself. With a nanny, he could keep his daughter with him. She needed at least one parent steadily in her life. And it could be fun for both of them, seeing new people, new places. Although traveling from rodeo to rodeo wasn’t an ideal life for a child, with a nanny she’d do okay. The uprooting would only be for a few months, and releasing his tension would make him a better father.
“Are we going in?”Amber’s words shook him out of his daze.
“Sure thing,” he said. He hadn’t realized he’d stopped and was just staring at the keyhole like an idiot. He unlocked the front door and shoved it wide to allow Amber to enter first.
Whiskey fumes hit him in the face. His heart pounded. Impossible. He’d never brought liquor into this house. Never.
Amber frowned and hesitated. He could see her doubt rising again—and almost see the wheels turning in her head, wondering what she’d gotten herself into, maybe regretting she’d taken the job.
“It’s okay,” he said.
She entered slowly. He followed her though the foyer into the living room. Alcohol fumes grew stronger. An open bottle of Wild Turkey sat on the coffee table. Saliva flowed into his mouth and sweat broke out on his forehead. He took a deep breath, drawing the fumes deep into his lungs, remembering too late, that for him, even the intoxicating fumes could seduce him into hell.
Amber watched him. He felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. The awareness on her face was one-hundred percent wrong. “It’s not my booze.” Fighting the reckless feelings rising in him, Luke turned off the blaring radio and placed Amber’s suitcase by the rocking chair. He had to dump the Devil’s brew. Fast. “I’ll just get rid of this,” he said, grabbing the bottle by its neck, bridling his anger at whoever had brought whiskey into his house. “I don’t know where it came from.”
He met Amber’s gaze. Her frown said it all.
Footsteps came from the back of the house. “I brought it,” his old friend, Mando, said in a cocky slur, flashing his Ricky Martin grin. He hadn’t shaved for several days and wore his trademark tight, black leather chaps over black jeans. “It’s fiesta time, amigo.”
Even with a buzz on, his Latin friend looked suave as ever. They were both twenty-six, but Mando had always looked a few years older. When they had been in their late teens and early twenties, it was a kick to hit the bars with a chica magnet like Mando. Excitement surged through Luke, followed by apprehension. His friendship with Mando had centered around rodeoing, women and drinking. They’d never hung out together without booze in the picture.
“What’s wrong, amigo, not glad to see me?” Mando asked with a mock sad face.
Luke plunked the bottle back on the coffee table. His sobriety didn’t mean he couldn’t show some Texas hospitality to an old friend. He slapped Mando on the back. “What a question. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Last minute decision. Heard about the charity rodeo and figured it’d give me some good press.” His eyes swept over Amber. “Carumba! Who is this?”
Amber stepped back.
When Luke introduced them, Mando stepped forward and kissed Amber’s hand. “Mucho gusto, Amber,” Mando said in a deep voice, exaggerating his Latin accent. He held her hand far too long.
“Nice to meet you, Mando,” she said stiffly and yanked her hand away.
Luke bridled his smile. Good for you, he thought. It had never bothered him when Mando moved in on other women. But… “Hey. Pardner, don’t hit on Alicia’s nanny.”
Mando grinned, flashing a gold tooth. “Hey, remember the night we met those gals from Reno? They weren’t too friendly at first either, but they got hotter than pistolas once they got to know us.”
Amber rubbed her arms, and Luke could guess her thoughts—that booze, plus two roughshod cowboys, equaled trouble. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d run out the front door.
“Look,” she said, “if you’re going to party, I’ll spend the night elsewhere. Maybe your sister-in-law, Molly, could suggest a place.”
“Don’t worry. We’re leaving. You get the place to yourself just like I said. Nothing’s changed.”
She nibbled at her lower lip.
He wanted to touch her, comfort her, but touching her would make things worse. “I promise, it’ll be all right.”
She met his gaze, searched his eyes.
; “Come on, I’ll show you to your room.” He was careful not to touch her. He grabbed her suitcase. “Back in a minute, Mando,” he said.
Mando plunked down on the couch, propped his feet up on the coffee table, and took a swig of Wild Turkey. “Too bad you can’t stay for the party, bonita.”
Luke felt his neck muscles bunch up. “Back off, Mando.” Leading Amber into one of the two master bedrooms, Luke said, “This is your room.”
He had decorated it himself, walls and drapes in Tijuana white, everything else in shades of blue. “I hope you like blue.” He placed her suitcase on the cedar chest at the end of the bed.
“It’s my favorite color.” She examined the lock on the door and frowned.
“It’s not a dead bolt,” he said, amused, “but it’s the best lock money can buy. You’ll be safe here.”
Bright spots of color flamed her cheeks. She clutched her purse as though the tight grip gave her comfort. “I’ll hold you to your word.”
She met his gaze with a challenging look and a sexy tilt to her head, catching fiery lights in her hair.
In his wild teens and early twenties, booze and sex went together. Fumes from the booze seemed to have followed them into the room, or maybe he just imagined it. Heat shot to his groin. Oh, hell, he silently moaned as his Levi’s tightened against the zipper. Standing in a bedroom with Amber felt too damned intimate. Dios, he needed the touch of a woman. Needed it as much as he needed air to breathe. The vibes charging between them told him she was as aware of him as he was of her. He cleared his throat. “There’s a nice view of the mountains from here,” he said, opening a window to ease his closed-in feeling.
Amber glanced out, but held her distance.
“To get your bearings, the main barn is just over that knoll on the other side of that stand of mesquite trees.”
“Oh, yes, the barn,” she said as though it triggered an important thought. She lowered her eyes, then met his gaze. Those green pools sent weird spasms to his gut. “Look, I know it’s none of my business,” she said, “but for your daughter’s sake, I think I should tell you something.”
“What’s that?” His words came out louder and sharper than he’d intended as he fought his desire.
Her eyes widened. She twisted her gold bracelet, emblazoned with the name Amber in black letters. “I heard a couple of people talking in the barn—bets went down,” she said with a tremor in her voice.
“Yeah, so? Our vaqueros bet on everything from weather to the exact time a mare will drop a foal. No big deal.”
“The bet was that Mando and you…” She closed her eyes a moment. “God, this is so hard…” She swallowed, her throat looking smooth, kissable. “That you two would hit the drinking trail again.”
Her words hit him like the kick of a mule. His desire plummeted. The damned busybodies. “Thanks for your concern,” he said, unable to control the hard edge to his tone, “but I’m a grown man, and it’s no one’s business what I do.”
Amber went rigid like he’d slapped her. “You’re right,” she said. “I’ll make you a deal. From now on I’ll stay out of your business, if you’ll stay out of mine.”
“You got it, as long as your business doesn’t interfere with what’s best for Alicia.” He turned on the heels of his dusty boots and left her standing there looking ashen.
Damn. He felt like a rat. He’d taken his anger out on her. It wasn’t her fault people were betting against him. And it wasn’t the first time. That’s exactly why he needed to get away from the small-town mentality of the ranch for a while. He was sick of people watching, waiting for him to trip and fall. Sick of his fear that, in a weak moment, he just might make them right.
****
Amber locked the door, then for extra protection, shoved the dresser in front of it. She didn’t unpack her suitcase. She intended to keep her options open. Later, she would set the clock for 4:30 a.m., just in case.
She wanted a shower desperately, but until she saw how things played out tonight, she wasn’t about to undress. She did a quick wash up and got into bed fully clothed. Her eyes felt gritty, and her lids were heavy, but she couldn’t relax. She lay there rigid, listening.
Mando’s raucous laugh pierced the walls several times, then a door slammed and the house went silent. She heard the truck engine rev to life, then fade away. Luke had kept his word and left the house. Slowly, the tension eased from her body, but she still couldn’t sleep. Her mind was too active. She got up and took a shower, letting the warm water soothe her.
Maybe Luke was an all right guy after all. The determination and strength she’d heard in his voice when he’d said the job was all about his daughter and nothing else surprised her. And the way he was with his family was warm and real.
He wasn’t the same taunting, arrogant man who had lassoed her. He was a caring, complex man, fighting the tragedy in his life with both fists. Yes, he had problems, big problems—he’d lost his wife and had a daughter to raise alone. Although it remained to be seen if he had conquered his past drinking demons, she found herself rooting for him to succeed.
Was he off partying with Mando? Or had he gone to do chores like he’d planned? He’d trusted her. She should show him the same respect.
Blast Mando for showing up now. Her heart pounded, reaching out to Luke with every throb. Her arms ached to hug him, to add her strength to his. Good grief, what was she thinking? She couldn’t make his fight hers. Her best chance to dig herself out of the murky world of confusion was to keep a low profile until her memory returned.
Amber’s stomach churned. How could she remain distant and uninvolved when her instinct to help was so strong? Maybe she should be relieved she had a soft, helpful heart. It lent support to her constant prayer that she hadn’t really killed that man.
Amber stepped from the shower and dried herself briskly. With the men gone, she felt safe enough to put on pajamas. Were they hers? They fit. It was useless to question the small details now. The answers were lost in her brain. Besides, at the moment, her feelings about Luke were more of a priority.
When he’d shown her to her room and asked if she liked blue, the low timbre of his voice had wrapped around her like a caress, thrilling her against her will. Dear God, she was in big trouble. She paced the bedroom, trying to douse the flames in her heart. Her attraction to Luke and her urge to help him could be her downfall. Seeing his wounded underbelly had touched her in a way she didn’t dare ignore.
****
Luke stared at Matt and Molly. Their serious faces made him wish he hadn’t come by their place. Why couldn’t they just stay out of his business?
“I took a look at your application on Amber Smith,” Matt said. “It says zip. What do you really know about her anyway?”
Luke sipped coffee that had turned as bitter as his thoughts, knowing, as always, Matt was right. But with his own ego still stinging from hearing he was a joke—a second-in-command boss people bet against—he refused to admit it out loud. “I know enough about her to suit me, so back off, bro.” He’d wanted to tell Matt why he’d hired a nanny and prepare him. But now wasn’t the time. Not until Matt accepted Amber as a capable caregiver for Alicia.
“You’re turning over the care of my niece to a woman with no credentials?” Matt asked.
“Dammit. Trust my instincts for once. You know I wouldn’t let Amber look after Alicia unless I felt good about her character.”
Molly reached over and touched his hand. “Don’t take this personally, Luke. We care, that’s all. You have to admit you don’t know much about her.”
“I wonder,” Matt drawled, “if you’d be so all-fire protective if she wasn’t a looker?”
“That has nothing to do with it,” Luke said, but he wasn’t so sure her beauty hadn’t worked into the equation. “She’s down on her luck and asked for a chance—promised I wouldn’t be sorry.”
“Come on, Luke. Do you know how lame that sounds? Let me do a little checking. In the meantime, I’ll set u
p a video camera in your house.”
Luke jumped to his feet, upsetting what was left of his coffee. “Are you crazy? This is a woman who needs a job, not some FBI criminal. You’re retired from the bureau so quit seeing crooks around every corner.”
“You have to do this. If the tape proves she’s a loving nanny we can all relax. If not…”
Luke paced the room. “I won’t let you invade her privacy, or my privacy.”
“You can switch the camera off when you’re in the house, and no one has to see the results but you. Just give the taping a couple of days. Alicia’s well-being is worth tromping on Amber’s privacy.”
“I told Amber I’d trust her,” Luke said.
“Your word’s important, but Alicia is more important.”
Matt had used the weapon Luke couldn’t fight. He couldn’t argue against Alicia’s best interests.
“Get Amber out of the house for thirty minutes,” Matt said. “I’ll take it from there.”
Yeah, like always, Luke thought. “Okay, but I sure as hell don’t like it.” God, he had to get away from Matt’s controlling ways, and from everything that reminded him of his loss. If he didn’t get relief, he feared he’d do something reckless, and his thoughtlessness would hurt Alicia and the whole family.
****
Amber snapped wide awake at the sound of Luke’s truck pulling up in front of the house. She threw her legs over the side of the bed. The sun was setting in a last-ditch blaze of coral and gold. She glanced at the clock—6:00 p.m. He’d come back to have dinner with her just as he’d promised, and she wasn’t dressed. Amber shucked out of her pajamas and yanked on her Levi’s.
She trembled with a puzzling excitement. Why? she wondered as she pulled a sleeveless sweater over her head. Running a comb through her hair, Amber shook off that question as others came to mind. Was he alone? Would he be sober? She pushed the dresser away from the front of the door and headed down the hall.
She’d only seen part of the downstairs, but what she’d seen she’d liked. The house was spacious and well designed, and decorated in classic western with rich mauve and terra cotta tones. The high, gold-inlaid ceilings contributed an elegant touch, yet the placement of the heavy, masculine furniture and oversized pillows around the slate stone fireplace gave the area an intimate, homey feel.