Christmas Down Under: Six Sexy New Zealand & Australian Christmas Romances

by Rosalind James

  BREAD PUDDING

  4 slices bread (higher-quality is the best. Avoid thick, chewy crusts or sourdough. Challah or brioche is extra-special!)

  2 Tbsp. butter

  1/3 cup packed brown sugar

  ½ tsp. cinnamon

  1/3 cup mini chocolate chips

  3 eggs, beaten with a fork

  1/3 cup white sugar

  1 tsp. vanilla

  1/8 tsp. salt

  2-1/2 cups milk, scalded (very hot). Whole milk is richest; can use everything down to 1%, but don’t use skim.

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a casserole dish (about 1-1/2 quarts; can also use a 9” baking dish, but it’ll make a flatter pudding) with cooking spray.

  Scald the milk in the microwave (best is with a glass measuring cup; heat the milk for about 2 minutes, until it’s not quite boiling).

  Toast bread slices lightly. Mix the brown sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. Spread slices with butter and sprinkle with the brown sugar/cinnamon mixture. Cut each slice in 6 pieces. Arrange pieces sugared side up in your casserole or baking dish, sprinkle with chocolate chips (in layers).

  Mix the eggs, white sugar, vanilla, and salt; slowly stir in the hot milk. Pour the mixture over the bread.

  Put your casserole dish into a larger pan (I use a roasting pan) on the oven rack. Pour very hot water 1” deep into the larger pan to make a water bath for your casserole dish. This makes your pudding come out moist. Bake until a knife comes out clean, about 65 to 70 minutes. (less time if you bake the pudding in a 9” square pan.) Remove casserole from the hot water. Can be served warm or cold.

  Optional toppings: ice cream, whipped cream.

  A Kiwi Glossary

  A few notes about Maori pronunciation:

  The accent is normally on the first syllable.

  All vowels are pronounced separately.

  All vowels except u have a short vowel sound.

  “wh” is pronounced “f.”

  “ng” is pronounced as in “singer,” not as in “anger.”

  ABs: All Blacks

  across the Ditch: in Australia (across the Tasman Sea). Or, if you're in Australia, in New Zealand!

  advert: commercial

  agro: aggravation

  air con: air conditioning

  All Blacks: National rugby team. Members are selected for every series from amongst the five NZ Super 15 teams. The All Blacks play similarly selected teams from other nations.

  ambo: paramedic

  Aotearoa: New Zealand (the other official name, meaning “The Land of the Long White Cloud" in Maori)

  arvo, this arvo: afternoon

  Aussie, Oz: Australia. (An Australian is also an Aussie. Pronounced “Ozzie.”)

  bach: holiday home (pronounced like “bachelor”)

  backs: rugby players who aren't in the scrum and do more running, kicking, and ball-carrying—though all players do all jobs and play both offense and defense. Backs tend to be faster and leaner than forwards.

  bangers and mash: sausages and potatoes

  barrack for: cheer for

  bench: counter (kitchen bench)

  berko: berserk

  Big Smoke: the big city (usually Auckland)

  bikkies: cookies

  billy-o, like billy-o: like crazy. “I paddled like billy-o and just barely made it through that rapid.”

  bin, rubbish bin: trash can

  bit of a dag: a comedian, a funny guy

  bits and bobs: stuff (“be sure you get all your bits and bobs”)

  blood bin: players leaving field for injury

  Blues: Auckland's Super 15 team

  bollocks: rubbish, nonsense

  boofhead: fool, jerk

  booking: reservation

  boots and all: full tilt, no holding back

  bot, the bot: flu, a bug

  Boxing Day: December 26—a holiday

  brekkie: breakfast

  brilliant: fantastic

  bub: baby, small child

  buggered: messed up, exhausted

  bull's roar: close. “They never came within a bull's roar of winning.”

  bunk off: duck out, skip (bunk off school)

  bust a gut: do your utmost, make a supreme effort

  Cake Tin: Wellington's rugby stadium (not the official name, but it looks exactly like a springform pan)

  caravan: travel trailer

  cardie: a cardigan sweater

  chat up: flirt with

  chilly bin: ice chest

  chips: French fries. (potato chips are “crisps”)

  chocolate bits: chocolate chips

  chocolate fish: pink or white marshmallow coated with milk chocolate, in the shape of a fish. A common treat/reward for kids (and for adults. You often get a chocolate fish on the saucer when you order a mochaccino—a mocha).

  choice: fantastic

  chokka: full

  chooks: chickens

  Chrissy: Christmas

  chuck out: throw away

  chuffed: pleased

  collywobbles: nervous tummy, upset stomach

  come a greaser: take a bad fall

  costume, cossie: swimsuit (female only)

  cot: crib (for a baby)

  crook: ill

  cuddle: hug (give a cuddle)

  cuppa: a cup of tea (the universal remedy)

  CV: resumé

  cyclone: hurricane (Southern Hemisphere)

  dairy: corner shop (not just for milk!)

  dead: very; e.g., “dead sexy.”

  dill: fool

  do your block: lose your temper

  dob in: turn in; report to authorities. Frowned upon.

  doco: documentary

  doddle: easy. “That'll be a doddle.”

  dodgy: suspect, low-quality

  dogbox: The doghouse—in trouble

  dole: unemployment.

  dole bludger: somebody who doesn’t try to get work and lives off unemployment (which doesn’t have a time limit in NZ)

  Domain: a good-sized park; often the “official” park of the town.

  dressing gown: bathrobe

  drongo: fool (Australian, but used sometimes in NZ as well)

  drop your gear: take off your clothes

  duvet: comforter

  earbashing: talking-to, one-sided chat

  electric jug: electric teakettle to heat water. Every Kiwi kitchen has one.

  En Zed: Pronunciation of NZ. (“Z” is pronounced “Zed.”)

  ensuite: master bath (a bath in the bedroom).

  eye fillet: premium steak (filet mignon)

  fair go: a fair chance. Kiwi ideology: everyone deserves a fair go.

  fair wound me up: Got me very upset

  fantail: small, friendly native bird

  farewelled, he'll be farewelled: funeral; he’ll have his funeral.

  feed, have a feed: meal

  first five, first five-eighth: rugby back—does most of the big kicking jobs and is the main director of the backs. Also called the No. 10.

  fixtures: playing schedule

  fizz, fizzie: soft drink

  fizzing: fired up

  flaked out: tired

  flash: fancy

  flat to the boards: at top speed

  flat white: most popular NZ coffee. An espresso with milk but no foam.

  flattie: roommate

  flicks: movies

  flying fox: zipline

  footpath: sidewalk

  footy, football: rugby

  forwards: rugby players who make up the scrum and do the most physical battling for position. Tend to be bigger and more heavily muscled than backs.

  fossick about: hunt around for something

  front up: face the music, show your mettle

  garden: yard

  get on the piss: get drunk

  get stuck in: commit to something

  give way: yield

  giving him stick, give him some stick about it: teasing, needling

  glowworms: larvae
of a fly found only in NZ. They shine a light to attract insects. Found in caves or other dark, moist places.

  go crook, be crook: go wrong, be ill

  go on the turps: get drunk

  gobsmacked: astounded

  good hiding: beating (“They gave us a good hiding in Dunedin.”)

  grotty: grungy, badly done up

  ground floor: what we call the first floor. The “first floor” is one floor up.

  gumboots, gummies: knee-high rubber boots. It rains a lot in New Zealand.

  gutted: thoroughly upset

  Haast's Eagle: (extinct). Huge native NZ eagle. Ate moa.

  haere mai: Maori greeting

  haka: ceremonial Maori challenge—done before every All Blacks game

  hang on a tick: wait a minute

  hard man: the tough guy, the enforcer

  hard yakka: hard work (from Australian)

  harden up: toughen up. Standard NZ (male) response to (male) complaints: “Harden the f*** up!”

  have a bit on: I have placed a bet on [whatever]. Sports gambling and prostitution are both legal in New Zealand.

  have a go: try

  Have a nosy for… : look around for

  head: principal (headmaster)

  head down: or head down, bum up. Put your head down. Work hard.

  heaps: lots. “Give it heaps.”

  hei toki: pendant (Maori)

  holiday: vacation

  honesty box: a small stand put up just off the road with bags of fruit and vegetables and a cash box. Very common in New Zealand.

  hooker: rugby position (forward)

  hooning around: driving fast, wannabe tough-guy behavior (typically young men)

  hoovering: vacuuming (after the brand of vacuum cleaner)

  ice block: popsicle

  I'll see you right: I'll help you out

  in form: performing well (athletically)

  it's not on: It's not all right

  iwi: tribe (Maori)

  jabs: immunizations, shots

  jandals: flip-flops. (This word is only used in New Zealand. Jandals and gumboots are the iconic Kiwi footwear.)

  jersey: a rugby shirt, or a pullover sweater

  joker: a guy. “A good Kiwi joker”: a regular guy; a good guy.

  journo: journalist

  jumper: a heavy pullover sweater

  ka pai: going smoothly (Maori).

  kapa haka: school singing group (Maori songs/performances. Any student can join, not just Maori.)

  karanga: Maori song of welcome (done by a woman)

  keeping his/your head down: working hard

  kia ora: welcome (Maori, but used commonly)

  kilojoules: like calories—measure of food energy

  kindy: kindergarten (this is 3- and 4-year-olds)

  kit, get your kit off: clothes, take off your clothes

  Kiwi: New Zealander OR the bird. If the person, it’s capitalized. Not the fruit.

  kiwifruit: the fruit. (Never called simply a “kiwi.”)

  knackered: exhausted

  knockout rounds: playoff rounds (quarterfinals, semifinals, final)

  koru: ubiquitous spiral Maori symbol of new beginnings, hope

  kumara: Maori sweet potato.

  ladder: standings (rugby)

  littlies: young kids

  lock: rugby position (forward)

  lollies: candy

  lolly: candy or money

  lounge: living room

  mad as a meat axe: crazy

  maintenance: child support

  major: “a major.” A big deal, a big event

  mana: prestige, earned respect, spiritual power

  Maori: native people of NZ—though even they arrived relatively recently from elsewhere in Polynesia

  marae: Maori meeting house

  Marmite: Savory Kiwi yeast-based spread for toast. An acquired taste. (Kiwis swear it tastes different from Vegemite, the Aussie version.)

  mate: friend. And yes, fathers call their sons “mate.”

  metal road: gravel road

  Milo: cocoa substitute; hot drink mix

  mind: take care of, babysit

  moa: (extinct) Any of several species of huge flightless NZ birds. All eaten by the Maori before Europeans arrived.

  moko: Maori tattoo

  mokopuna: grandchildren

  motorway: freeway

  mozzie: mosquito; OR a Maori Australian (Maori + Aussie = Mozzie)

  muesli: like granola, but unbaked

  munted: broken

  naff: stupid, unsuitable. “Did you get any naff Chrissy pressies this year?”

  nappy: diaper

  narked, narky: annoyed

  netball: Down-Under version of basketball for women. Played like basketball, but the hoop is a bit narrower, the players wear skirts, and they don’t dribble and can’t contact each other. It can look fairly tame to an American eye. There are professional netball teams, and it’s televised and taken quite seriously.

  new caps: new All Blacks—those named to the side for the first time

  New World: One of the two major NZ supermarket chains

  nibbles: snacks

  nick, in good nick: doing well

  niggle, niggly: small injury, ache or soreness

  no worries: no problem. The Kiwi mantra.

  No. 8: rugby position. A forward

  not very flash: not feeling well

  Nurofen: brand of ibuprofen

  nutted out: worked out

  OE: Overseas Experience—young people taking a year or two overseas, before or after University.

  offload: pass (rugby)

  oldies: older people. (or for the elderly, “wrinklies!”)

  on the front foot: Having the advantage. Vs. on the back foot—at a disadvantage. From rugby.

  Op Shop: charity shop, secondhand shop

  out on the razzle: out drinking too much, getting crazy

  paddock: field (often used for rugby—“out on the paddock”)

  Pakeha: European-ancestry people (as opposed to Polynesians)

  Panadol: over-the-counter painkiller

  partner: romantic partner, married or not

  patu: Maori club

  paua, paua shell: NZ abalone

  pavlova (pav): Classic Kiwi Christmas (summer) dessert. Meringue, fresh fruit (often kiwifruit and strawberries) and whipped cream.

  pavement: sidewalk (generally on wider city streets)

  pear-shaped, going pear-shaped: messed up, when it all goes to Hell

  penny dropped: light dawned (figured it out)

  people mover: minivan

  perve: stare sexually

  phone's engaged: phone's busy

  piece of piss: easy

  pike out: give up, wimp out

  piss awful: very bad

  piss up: drinking (noun) a piss-up

  pissed: drunk

  pissed as a fart: very drunk. And yes, this is an actual expression.

  play up: act up

  playing out of his skin: playing very well

  plunger: French Press coffeemaker

  PMT: PMS

  pohutukawa: native tree; called the “New Zealand Christmas Tree” for its beautiful red blossoms at Christmastime (high summer)

  poi: balls of flax on strings that are swung around the head, often to the accompaniment of singing and/or dancing by women. They make rhythmic patterns in the air, and it’s very beautiful.

  Pom, Pommie: English person

  pop: pop over, pop back, pop into the oven, pop out, pop in

  possie: position (rugby)

  postie: mail carrier

  pot plants: potted plants (not what you thought, huh?)

  poumanu: greenstone (jade)

  prang: accident (with the car)

  pressie: present

  puckaroo: broken (from Maori)

  pudding: dessert

  pull your head in: calm down, quit being rowdy

  Pumas: Argentina's national rugby team
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br />   pushchair: baby stroller

  put your hand up: volunteer

  put your head down: work hard

  rapt: thrilled

  rattle your dags: hurry up. From the sound that dried excrement on a sheep's backside makes, when the sheep is running!

  red card: penalty for highly dangerous play. The player is sent off for the rest of the game, and the team plays with 14 men.

  rellies: relatives

  riding the pine: sitting on the bench (as a substitute in a match)

  rimu: a New Zealand tree. The wood used to be used for building and flooring, but like all native NZ trees, it was over-logged. Older houses, though, often have rimu floors, and they’re beautiful.

  Rippa: junior rugby

  root: have sex (you DON'T root for a team!)

  ropeable: very angry

  ropey: off, damaged (“a bit ropey”)

  rort: ripoff

  rough as guts: uncouth

  rubbish bin: garbage can

  rugby boots: rugby shoes with spikes (sprigs)

  Rugby Championship: Contest played each year in the Southern Hemisphere by the national teams of NZ, Australia, South Africa, and Argentina

  Rugby World Cup, RWC: World championship, played every four years amongst the top 20 teams in the world

  rugged up: dressed warmly

  ruru: native owl

  Safa: South Africa. Abbreviation only used in NZ.

  sammie: sandwich

  scoff, scoffing: eating, like “snarfing”

  second-five, second five-eighth: rugby back (No. 9). With the first-five, directs the game. Also feeds the scrum and generally collects the ball from the ball carrier at the breakdown and distributes it.

  selectors: team of 3 (the head coach is one) who choose players for the All Blacks squad, for every series

  serviette: napkin

  shag: have sex with. A little rude, but not too bad.

  shattered: exhausted

  sheds: locker room (rugby)

  she'll be right: See “no worries.” Everything will work out. The other Kiwi mantra.

  shift house: move (house)

  shonky: shady (person). “a bit shonky”

  shout, your shout, my shout, shout somebody a coffee: buy a round, treat somebody

  sickie, throw a sickie: call in sick

  sin bin: players sitting out 10-minute penalty in rugby (or, in the case of a red card, the rest of the game)

  sink the boot in: kick you when you're down

  skint: broke (poor)

  skipper: (team) captain. Also called “the Skip.”

  slag off: speak disparagingly of; disrespect