“Are ya fucking kidding me!” BJ screamed as he started to read the article. The article went on to talk about how eighteen-year-old Tabitha Sparks was seen partying things up with her friends at a trendy New York nightclub. “Is Tabitha following in her rock star daddy’s footsteps with his partying ways?”
BJ threw the paper across the studio, jumping up to pace angrily. “How many times to I have to fucking tell her? How many times?” he yelled at no one in particular.
“She’s trying to be independent,” Devlin said, trying to soothe BJ’s temper.
“Yeah, and all this time I’ve been trying to keep her out of the limelight, so people don’t target her! Why do you think I have her use the O’Malley name instead Sparks? Jesus fucking Christ! Did she tell them that? She had to have told them who she was, right?”
“I don’t know Beege …” Devlin said. “Maybe she’s proud to be your daughter,” he said, his tone glowering.
“Fuck you, Dev,” BJ snapped. “You know why I don’t want her in the limelight; people will just judge her and start slandering her. I don’t want her to turn into one of those kids of stars who is hounded constantly and judged. With shit like Kate Moss and Robert Downey Jr and their addictions being publicly displayed for all the world to see, you think I want Tabbie in that mix?”
“I don’t think it’s quite the same thing …” Devlin said, letting his voice trail off as BJ wheeled on him angrily. Devlin held his hands up in a warding off gesture. “I’m just saying, don’t be the first one to judge her, okay? Let her at least explain.”
BJ looked none-too happy as he nodded. “Fine, let’s just get to work, huh?”
“You got it,” Devlin said, stifling a grin.
Devlin was forever defending Tabitha’s need for independence. In fact, he had been the one to talk BJ into letting her have six months in New York after she’d graduated from a private high school. BJ hadn’t been thrilled by the idea, always wanting to keep his daughter close, lest something happen to her. Devlin was always telling him that if he didn’t let the girl have some independence, she’d rebel like these other teens of stars and then he’d have a lot more to deal with.
****
Allexxiss stood stock still, staring openmouthed at the paper on the newsstand.
“Lady?” the man at the counter queried.
She shifted her eyes to him, tearing her eyes away from the headline on the New York Post. Shaking her head, as if to clear it, she reached into her pocket, pulled out two dollars and handed them to the man. She pulled the periodical out of the bin and walked away. She got another block before she had to sit down. She looked at the picture on the front page, reading the headline again. “BJ Sparks’s daughter dances the night away!”
“My God,” she said out loud.
She put her head down on her knees, feeling faint all of a sudden. Brenden still had her. He still had their daughter. She didn’t know what to think, had he kept her all along? Had he given her up for adoption and just reunited with her after she’d become an adult recently?
Allexxiss had always assumed that Brenden gave Tabitha up at the same time as he’d given her up. Her parents had assured her that Brenden had indeed called them, requesting that they come and get her and take her home. It was Allexxiss’ thought that he’d grown bored with playing house and had decided to call it quits. She remembered very little about the time after the baby had been born. She had vague recollections of the baby crying and Brenden being there picking her up. There were scattered thoughts of a sense of a crushing depression, moving as if underwater. Once home, she’d been diagnosed with postpartum. But she had no idea what that entailed in terms of what she’d put Brenden through. She couldn’t remember, and he wasn’t around to ask.
The next year had been a nightmare for her. Trying to cope with the loss of the man she’d loved desperately and the baby she’d labored to give birth to. She didn’t understand why Brenden had sent her away. She ached for the tenderness she’d received from him. There were nights when she’d lay awake and cry hugging a pillow, wanting to imagine his arms around her again. Finally, at the lowest point in her depression, she took an entire bottle of sleeping pills, just wanting to sleep and forget all about him.
That had landed her in the psych ward of Kentucky General. She’d spent another year learning to cope with her depression. Learning to put the past behind her and move on. Learning to hate Brenden James O’Malley. The hate she developed for him allowed her to push his face out of her mind for hours at a time, but as soon as she’d close her eyes at night he was in her dreams again. Finally, she learned that she couldn’t hate him. She had to accept that for whatever reason, he hadn’t loved her the same after the baby had been born. She told herself that maybe it had just been a lot more than he’d expected. That maybe he hadn’t been ready for that much commitment, and had really only been doing the honorable thing in marrying her, since he’d gotten her pregnant. Men lied after all, and he was just barely a man then. At eighteen, he was still really a teenager like her. It was those thoughts that got her through the rest of her time in the hospital.
She’d been getting her life back on track, finally going to college when Sparks’s first album had come out. She had no idea who the band was until one of her friends brought the album to school. Allexxiss had stared at Brenden’s picture for a long moment, feeling her heart being torn out all over again. Then she’d thrown the album down and run for the bathroom, throwing up repeatedly as she cried.
Again, it had taken time to move past things about him. In 1986, he was fast becoming a rock star, and she staunchly refused to either listen to his music, or read any of the articles about him. She wanted nothing to do with him. How dare he not only move on with his life, but to something so public that there was no way she wouldn’t know he had. She began to think that he’d done so on purpose, just to hurt her again with his complete betrayal. That thought made it easier to avoid his image everywhere. Thinking that she was foiling his plan by refusing to pay any attention to his new persona “BJ Sparks.” Her mind skittered quickly past the thought that he’d always told her that they had “sparks.” Was that why he’d taken that name? Another thing to hurt her with?
Years later, she could still feel everything she’d felt about him. Part of her wanted to hate him for this all new betrayal, keeping her daughter from her. Had he kept her a secret on purpose? Or had there been articles about him and his daughter, and in refusing to have anything to do with him, had she missed it? She knew she couldn’t confront him about it, she was terrified to even be in a room with him.
She banged her head against her knees. She was a damned movie star now, why didn’t that help? Brenden O’Malley could still reduce her to a trembling ball of nerves.
“Goddamn it!” she yelled, startling passersby.
It took her an entire day to decide what she wanted to do. She wanted to see her daughter. She wanted to talk to her. Hell, she wanted to meet the girl! She started doing a little bit of research, via her agent. He managed to find out that Tabitha was now going by the name Tabitha O’Malley, but had legally changed her name to Sparks as well a few years before. Tabitha O’Malley had graduated from high school six months previously and was due back in Los Angeles two days later. She also read a follow-up report in the New York Post that said Tabitha would be returning to Los Angeles to work as BJ Sparks’s assistant until she decided what she wanted to do for college.
****
Tabitha Sparks got off the plane in Los Angeles, already knowing that her father was pissed about the article in the paper. She knew that’s why he’d sent his private jet to pick her up. It was his passive aggressive way of saying that he didn’t want Tabitha in the public eye any more than necessary. Her father wasn’t even there to meet her, he’d sent a car. She knew it meant that he was still at the very least annoyed with her.
When the car dropped her off at the studio, Tabitha climbed out, nodding to BJ’s driver and giving him a soft
smile. She didn’t want to take it out on him that her father was being unreasonable. She walked inside and headed straight for BJ’s office.
In the end, she had to wait for an hour until he was finished in meetings. When he breezed into his office he glanced over at his daughter and smiled, but the smile was tight and a bit forced. He moved to stand in front of her, sitting back on his desk, his hands at his sides.
“So you’re pissed,” Tabitha said, when he didn’t say anything.
BJ nodded slowly, his eyes on hers.
“About the article,” Tabitha continued.
He nodded again.
Tabitha shrugged. “I can’t help that there are press everywhere, Dad. I also can’t help that they want to report on me because I’m your daughter.”
“You could be a bit more circumspect in your behavior,” BJ replied, his tone somewhat heated.
“What you’re saying is that I could hide under a rock,” Tabitha snapped.
BJ’s eyes narrowed at both her tone and her statement.
“I’ve kept you out of the limelight for a reason, Tabitha. These people will chew you up and spit you out for the smallest thing.”
Tabitha drew in a deep breath, and then nodded. “Okay, I understand, but I really didn’t mean to make you mad, Daddy.”
BJ pressed his lips together in consternation, but then finally pushed off his desk to hold out his arms to her. She stood, gratefully moving into his arms. She knew it wasn’t fair that he was trying to control her life, but she also loved him more than anything, and didn’t want him to be mad at her.
****
Three days after she’d read the story in the Post, Allexxiss used the number she had for Badlands Records. She dialed the number with shaking hands. She asked for Tabitha O’Malley and was transferred to another number. Disappointment was sharp when Tabitha’s voicemail picked up. Allexxiss listened to her daughter’s voice for the first time, and cried the entire time. She hung up before the beep, and called back three more times, just to get acquainted with Tabitha’s voice. Tabitha had no English accent, so did that mean she hadn’t spent much time in England? Finally, on the fifth call, she left a message for Tabitha.
“Good evening Ms. O’Malley,” Allexxiss said, the name sounding strange on her lips. “My name is Allexxiss Ramsey. I need to meet with you regarding an important matter that can’t be discussed in any way but in person. Please call me as soon as possible. Thank you.” She gave her number and hung up the phone, sighing deeply. She hoped Tabitha would call soon. This knot in her stomach was just getting bigger and bigger.
When Tabitha listened to the message a couple of hours later, she was shocked. Of course she knew who Allexxiss Ramsey was, she was a famous movie star. Shrugging, she figured that Ramsey probably wanted BJ to work on a soundtrack or something for her next movie and was calling to appeal to him personally. She wrote down Allexxiss’ information and made a point to call her before she left that office that evening.
Allexxiss’ phone rang four hours later. She was in her car driving home from the studio. As she picked up her phone, she was shocked to see it was Tabitha.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Ramsey?” Tabitha queried, wanting to make sure she hadn’t gotten an assistant or something.
“This is she,” Allexxiss said.
“Ms. Ramsey, this is Tabitha O’Malley, you contacted me regarding a meeting you wanted to set up,” Tabitha said, her tone ever the efficient assistant. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Sparks doesn’t really have any time for the next two months or so, perhaps after the tour we have coming up—”
“Ms. O’Malley,” Allexxiss interrupted gently, “it was you I wanted to meet with, not your father.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. Tabitha was trying to figure out why Ramsey would want to meet with her.
“I’m sorry,” Tabitha, confusion clear in her voice, “why would you need to meet with me?”
“It’s important, Ms. O’Malley,” Allex said, not wanting to get into it on the phone.
“I see,” Tabitha said. “May I ask what it’s regarding?”
“It’s about your mother,” Allex blurted out, then rolled her eyes thinking, Great now I sound like some kind of nut.
“My mother?” Tabitha echoed, her brows furrowed in confusion.
What would Ramsey know about her mother?
“Please, Ms. O’Malley, I’d really like to discuss this matter in person,” Allexxiss said persuasively.
There was a long pause, and Allex waited nervously.
“Alright, can you be in the Badlands offices at noon this Thursday?” Tabitha asked.
“Yes,” Allexxiss replied, regardless of what she had going on that day, she’d cancel it. This was too important. “I’ll be there, thank you.”
They hung up, and Tabitha sat staring at the phone. She knew she was going to go crazy waiting, but she was also worried about what this woman was going to tell her. Did she know her mother? Was her mother dead or something horrible? She really wouldn’t want to know if that was the case.
Tabitha was tempted to tell her father about the meeting, but decided against it. She didn’t want to worry him. If she found out something about her mother that would mean something to him, she’d talk to him about it later. She had no idea what Allexxiss Ramsey was going to tell her, so she figured she was better off keeping the meeting to herself for the time being.
She waited on pins and needles for the next three days. Wondering and worrying what Ms. Ramsey was going to say. She couldn’t begin to imagine how a movie star of Ramsey’s caliber would know her mother. Her father had told her that her mother was from Kentucky. Maybe Ramsey came from Kentucky? That thought occurred to her that morning just before the meeting. She didn’t have time to check, but that made her feel a little better. Maybe Ramsey was an old classmate of her mother’s. Hell, maybe it was about a reunion or something, and then Tabitha would have to explain that she didn’t know her mother at all.
She was dutifully working on the schedule for Sparks’s upcoming tour and on the phone with a booking agent for Madison Square Garden when she was buzzed that Ms. Ramsey was here.
“Thanks, Terry,” Tabitha said to the receptionist. “Can you show her into the conference room and I’ll be there in just a few minutes?”
“Sure thing,” Terry said, always happy to help.
It was another ten minutes before Tabitha could get off the phone and get to the conference room.
Allexxiss thanked the young girl that showed her to the conference room. The girl smiled broadly and closed the door softly. Allex was far too nervous to sit down and relax as the girl had suggested. She walked around the room. She noticed the platinum records on the wall and saw they were all for Sparks, at least most of them were. She checked out the album art next, trying desperately not to jump every time she heard a sound in the hallway. Finally, she got engrossed in a particularly ornate album cover, to the point that she didn’t even notice Tabitha until she cleared her throat politely.
Allexxiss turned her head and laid eyes on her daughter in person for the first time in eighteen years. She was struck by how beautiful Tabitha was. The picture in the Post hadn’t been clear enough to show any of Tabitha’s features. The first thing that came to mind was that she had Brenden’s coloring, but in staring at her as she walked forward, she saw that she had Allexxiss’ eye color. She was a mixture of both of them.
“Ms. Ramsey,” Tabitha said, politely extending her hand, “it’s nice to meet you.”
Allexxiss smiled, taking Tabitha’s hand. “It’s very nice to meet you too,” she said, thinking how very true that was.
“Shall we sit down?” Tabitha asked.
“Sure,” Allexxiss said, marveling at how poised Tabitha was.
They sat down at the conference table. Allexxiss sat to the side of the table, Tabitha sat at the head, a good informal distance. That made Allexxiss feel a bit better, at least Tabitha wasn’t going to make
this a formal meeting. She still wasn’t sure how she was going to tell Tabitha any of what she wanted to say.
When Allex didn’t speak for a long few minutes, Tabitha leaned forward, her hands down at her side unseen, clasping the seat of her chair.
“You said this was regarding my mother?” Tabitha prompted, desperate to get through this, but eager to know at the same time.
“Yes,” Allexxiss said. “I guess the first thing I need to know is what you know about your mother.”
Tabitha looked surprised by the question. She sat back in her chair, looking pensive. Then she looked back at Allex.
“My father told me that my mother was very young when she became pregnant with me. That she’d been in London on vacation when they’d met, and that in the two weeks she was there she’d gotten pregnant. He told me that they were in love so he asked her to marry him and she accepted. But I guess after I was born, she couldn’t handle it, or me, or something, I don’t know for sure. But in the end she went home to her parents here in the States.”
Allexxiss nodded slowly. Brenden had told her some things.
“She didn’t go home to her parents, they went to England and got her,” Allexxiss said. “And your father called them requesting that they come get her.”
Tabitha’s brows furrowed. “Are you saying that he instigated her leaving?”
“Yes,” Allexxiss answered softly.
Tabitha shook her head slowly. “That doesn’t sound right,” she said. “That doesn’t sound like my father at all.”
“Believe me, Tabitha, that’s what happened,” Allexxiss said, trying to tamp down on her irritation that apparently Brenden had made himself out to be a saint in this.
Tabitha looked back at Allexxiss for a long moment. She narrowed her eyes slightly, much like Brenden did, Allex remembered, when he was suspicious.
Sparks (Wild Irish Silence Book 1) Page 6