Sparks (Wild Irish Silence Book 1)

by Sherryl Hancock

  “I hear they make lawyers for just that kind of thing,” Tabitha said drily, sounding exactly like her father.

  “It’s never that easy, Tabitha,” Allex said. “Wait, did you just call me mom?”

  “Don’t change the subject,” Tabitha said, grinning.

  “You called me Mom,” Allex said, smiling brightly.

  “I slipped,” Tabitha said, smiling like a kid who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

  “Well, keep slipping then,” Allex said, laughing, “because for some reason coming from you, Mom sounds really good.”

  “Do you have any other kids?” Tabitha asked, realizing she didn’t know.

  “No,” Allexxiss said. “You’re my only child.”

  “One of a kind,” Tabitha said, smiling.

  “Considering who your father is,” Allex said, “that’s a definite yes.”

  Tabitha laughed. “So? Will you take a chance and go talk to him?”

  Allexxiss sighed, looking up at the sky. “I don’t know, Tabitha. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to face him again.”

  “You’re an actress for God’s sake, think of something so outrageous to say that you’ll keep him guessing, so he won’t have time to turn into the ice man again,” Tabitha said.

  “I still just don’t know, Tabitha. I mean, his feelings may have changed so much … and being in the business he’s in for so many years, it probably wouldn’t be the same anymore anyway. He’s older, I’m older. I’m still imagining the young carefree man he used to be. And that’s totally different from the seasoned, jaded rock star he is now,” Allexxiss said. “I would hate to ruin my dreams, you know?”

  “I can understand that, but at least then you’d know,” Tabitha said.

  “Yes, but sometimes it’s better not to know things like this,” Allexxiss said wisely.

  “Well, when you decide, let me know,” Tabitha said. “I’d be happy to help you ambush him.”

  “Such a sweet child,” Allexxiss said, grinning at her daughter.

  “Oh yeah,” Tabitha said, “you should see my bad side.”

  “I’m sure I will someday,” Allexxiss said, feeling so happy that she’d made contact with her daughter. Somehow, she felt complete again. The thought struck her, that was exactly how she’d felt when she’d met Brenden.

  All weekend Tabitha debated her course of action pertaining to her parents. Finally, on Monday morning she came to a decision. She walked into the sound booth where Fast Lane was using to record their debut album. She waited for Jordan and her band to finish what they were working on then caught Jordan’s attention.

  Jordan walked out of the sound booth. “Hi Tabbie, it’s good to see you,” Jordan said, smiling as she hugged Tabitha. “So, what’s up?”

  “Jordan, I wanted to see if you were free for lunch,” Tabitha said.

  Jordan nodded. “Sure, no problem, what time?”

  “Around eleven thirty?” Tabitha asked.

  “Sounds good,” Jordan said. “Meet me here?”

  “You got it,” Tabitha said, smiling.

  Jordan watched as Tabitha walked out of the room. She’d changed since she’d left for New York, she seemed to have grown up a bit. Tabitha wore just the right amount of makeup, and she was dressed business-like, but hip for a young woman. She wore a black beaded choker at her throat that made her look very ‘rock and roll’ to Jordan. The girl was becoming downright gorgeous.

  Later that morning Tabitha met up with Jordan and they headed over to a nearby Mexican restaurant for lunch. Tabitha sat fidgeting as they waited for their food.

  “So what’s up, Tab?” Jordan asked, sensing that Tabitha was vacillating on something.

  “I, uh,” Tabitha began, still not sure how to approach the subject. “I kinda wanted to ask you something, a favor of sorts, but …”

  “But?” Jordan prompted.

  “But, I don’t know if I’m going to piss my dad off by doing this, or if it’s a good idea at all …”

  “Okay, so if you tell me what it’s about, I might be able to help,” Jordan said, smiling. Tabitha still communicated like a kid, even if she looked like she’d matured in the last few months.

  “Well, I kind of found out who my mother is the other day.”

  Jordan blinked a couple of times, looking stunned by Tabitha’s admission.

  “How did you find that out?” Jordan asked carefully, knowing that BJ wouldn’t have told his daughter who her mother was.

  “She came to see me,” Tabitha said simply.

  Jordan’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Wow.”

  “Did you know who she was?” Tabitha asked, her tone bordering on hurt.

  Jordan grimaced, her lips twisting in guilt, as she nodded. “But your dad didn’t want you to know.”

  Tabitha nodded, knowing her father’s reasoning on the matter. “I know. I just didn’t know who actually knew.”

  “I think that circle is pretty small, Tabs,” Jordan assured her.

  Tabitha nodded again, looking relieved by that. She didn’t want to be the only one in the world not to know that her mother was the very famous Ramsey.

  “So what do you need my help on?” Jordan asked once their food arrived and the server walked away from table, but not before getting Jordan’s autograph.

  “I basically need you to tell me if I’m nuts,” Tabitha said.

  “For?”

  “For wanting to get them together again to talk.”

  “Is that what Allexxiss wants?” Jordan asked, surprised.

  “She’s still in love with him, Jordie,” Tabitha said, taking Jordan’s hands in hers in her excitement. “And I’ll bet you know that Dad’s still in love with her too.”

  Jordan looked considering for a full minute, then finally nodded. “Yeah, but your dad is about as stubborn as they come, he’s not going to go to her. You know that right?”

  Tabitha nodded vehemently. “Oh trust me, I know. I’m thinking that if I can convince my mom not to be a big chicken and face my dad again, that maybe they can talk, you know?” Tabitha said hopefully.

  Jordan nodded slowly. “You can try it, Tabbie, but don’t be surprised if your stubborn ass father resists.”

  “But do you think that it’s a good idea?” Tabitha asked, not wanting to upset her father, but truly hoping for a good outcome.

  “Not going to know until you try,” Jordan said.

  ****

  Allexxiss lay in bed, waiting for Max to come home. She was determined to talk to him that night. Things had been going around in her head for days. Ever since the lunch with Tabitha where her daughter had told her the things Brenden had said, Allexxiss kept thinking that maybe she’d been very wrong about all of it. It was a hard thing to realize after eighteen years. That your entire life could have been different if only you’d been less willing to accept things as they were.

  If she’d been willing to go back to London and find Brenden, and tell him that she loved him and wanted to try again. If she’d been willing to at least confront her fear of rejection and contact him when she knew he was in the States. But now, now there was a decision to be made, and she was terrified to make it. Did she want to give up her pride this time and challenge Brenden? Was she willing to leave her marriage? Or did she think she could just cheat on Max and get away with it? Not likely, not considering everyone knew who she was and who BJ Sparks was. As it was, a picture had appeared the day after she’d had lunch with Tabitha, talking about who Ramsey was having clandestine lunches with. Jesus! Tabitha was a woman for God’s sake, did they think she was going gay now too? It was ridiculous the things tabloids would go for nowadays!

  She wanted to at least talk to Max and let him know about Tabitha. Tell him that she did have a daughter and that her daughter was eighteen years old, and who her father was. Allexxiss was sure that eventually it would get out that Tabitha Sparks was Ramsey and BJ Sparks’s “love child.” And then it would eventually be discovered that
BJ Sparks and she had been married way back when. So, she wanted to get ahead of the tabloids with Max. She had no idea how he’d react to reading something like that in the papers. He was very aware of appearances. He was a Spin Doctor when it came to publicity. If he could think of a way to put a positive spin on something, or outwit the tabloids, he’d do so. He’d done it with Allex’s career.

  Lexington, Kentucky, 1986

  While in college, Allexxiss had decided that she wanted to be an actress. People were always telling her how beautiful and photogenic she was, and that she should be a model. Well, modeling seemed far too superficial to her; if she was going to do something there was going to be a craft to it. She didn’t want her entire life based on outer beauty, it wasn’t what she thought was important. In college she’d taken an acting class, and in acting she discovered an outlet for all the things that weren’t right in her life.

  If she wanted to have a good cry, she’d choose a scene for acting class that involved a tragedy. She would have tears streaming down her face at the perfect time. If she needed to laugh and feel happy, she’d pick a character that required her to be happy. A character whose life went right, not so hideously wrong as hers had. She found quickly that she was good at acting. Of course she was, she had learned all her life, after her disastrous trip to England, to act the right way. She’d learned to pretend things didn’t bother her when they were eating her up inside. She’d learned to pretend she liked things she hated. In the end, she’d pretended that marrying Maxwell Putnam was the best thing that ever happened to her.

  Maxwell’s family was from New York, and they owned a number of production companies. Maxwell one-upped his father and bought into a movie studio. He’d met Allex when she was twenty-three, whilst at a party with her parents. He’d seen her from across the room, and since he was shopping for a wife at that point, he made a point of garnering an introduction to her. She was beautiful, with her golden-blond hair, very blue eyes, porcelain skin, perfect bone structure, and slim but curvy figure.

  When they spoke, she was intelligent and very upfront about her opinions. She was subtle in her disagreement, but she definitely had her own mind. Max decided she would be the perfect accessory for him. That was what he considered women, merely something for men to have on their arm to make them look better. A man with a beautiful wife who was able to hold conversations intelligently, made him look smarter. Max didn’t consider himself a chauvinist since he actually wanted an intelligent woman. What he didn’t understand was that it was one thing to want an intelligent woman, but it was something else to actually respect that woman and treat her as an equal. He didn’t believe that women were equal. He felt they should always know when to defer to a man’s opinion. Allexxiss had seemed wise enough to know that at the time he met her. So he set his sights on her.

  Within a year he’d married her. He thought she worshiped him. When in truth, she’d figured she was never going to marry another man for love; it had hurt enough the first time. She married Max thinking that at least she’d have another baby out of this marriage and regain part of what she’d lost when she left London. That had never happened. Unbeknownst to her, Max had no use for children. In his opinion, children were loud, expensive, and rarely worth the “investment of time and money.” So Allex hadn’t achieved the one thing she wanted out of the marriage. She’d considered divorcing Max, but then something had happened to change her mind.

  He took her on a trip to Los Angeles. They lived in New York most of the time, but he was considering moving them to Los Angeles. In the four years they’d been married, he’d never taken her on his trips to LA. He’d forgotten her birthday that year, so he decided to take her to Los Angeles so she could shop on Rodeo Drive to make it up to her. Allexxiss was excited and nervous about the trip because it was where Brenden was, and she was just sure fate would be nasty enough to have her run into him.

  In the end, however, she’d gotten the acting fever while in Los Angeles. Her husband had introduced her to a few directors at parties. The directors told her how she should be in movies. Remembering how much she’d loved acting in college, she’d decided that perhaps this wouldn’t be such a bad move after all. Before they ever even moved to Los Angeles, Allexxiss was signed to make her first movie.

  ****

  It was almost eleven thirty when Max finally walked into the bedroom. He was used to her being asleep long before he came home from the office. He was very surprised to see her sitting up in bed, with the radio on and a book in her hand.

  “What are you doing up?” he asked, sounding more defensive than she thought he should.

  “I wanted to talk to you,” she said, putting her book down, “and since I can’t seem to get an appointment with my own husband, I figured I’d just wait up for you.”

  “What do you mean, ‘can’t get an appointment with my own husband’?” he asked snidely.

  “I mean, your assistant claims you’re all booked up,” Allexxiss replied pointedly.

  She had long suspected that Max was screwing his blond assistant. The girl was an idiot, so to Allex’s way of thinking it wasn’t her typing skills Max was keeping her around for. On top of that, “Missy” developed an attitude with her every time she called to talk to Max. She was fairly sure that “Missy” was doing a lot of under the desk duty, and figured that gave her the right to be a bitch to “the wife.” She was lucky Allex didn’t care if her husband screwed the entire world, as long as he didn’t bother her as much for sex.

  Max sighed, shaking his head. Missy was getting out of hand these days.

  “So what do you want to talk to me about?” he asked, looking bothered already.

  “I’ll wait until you’ve changed,” she said, knowing that he had an entire routine he went through once he got home, including his glass of brandy before bed.

  She hated the smell of brandy for that reason, because every time he wanted to have sex with her he cuddled up to her and breathed that smell into her face. The sex was less than mediocre, it was downright horrid. She’d given up thinking she’d ever have good sex again. Apparently, no one had ever told Max that women liked to have orgasms during sex too. Either that or he just plain didn’t care. Probably the latter, Allex figured.

  “No, just tell me now so I can relax, Allexxiss,” he said, as if speaking to a child.

  She looked at him for a long moment, then sighed. She had no idea why she thought he’d actually feel like anything she had to tell him was worthy of his undivided attention.

  “Well, it’s about back when I was in London when I was sixteen,” she said.

  She saw him grimace, then a look of resolve hardened his features.

  “Okay, what about it?” he asked.

  “Could you at least sit down?” she asked, feeling annoyed now that she’d even bothered.

  Hell, it might have been better for him to find out via the papers.

  “Fine,” he said, moving to sit down in the chair across from the bed.

  “Anyway,” she said, giving him a sour look, “I know you know that something happened there, that my parents were very displeased about, but I don’t think you know what.”

  “They said that you had a very hard time in England, and disgraced yourself and them by getting involved with some bum there, but that they had handled the problem,” he told her, looking like he was feeling deceived suddenly.

  “Well, to their way of thinking that was true,” she said, wondering why her parents still held it against her after all this time. “Now I’m telling you what really happened.”

  “Okay, tell me,” Max said.

  “I met a man there, we got together, and I got pregnant,” she said, rushing through it trying to make it as quick as possible.

  “Pregnant?”

  “Yes, Max, I had a baby.”

  “You actually had the baby?”

  “Yes, a girl. In the end, my parents came to get me, and I left him and the baby there in England. I never saw them again.�
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  “So why are you telling me this now?” Max asked, wanting her to get to the bottom line.

  “Because I just found out that he kept her with him,” she said, “and I went and talked to her the other day.”

  “You made contact with her?” Max asked, sounding like she’d broken some rule.

  “Yes, Max, she’s my daughter,” Allexxiss said, her tone becoming sharp.

  “Biologically, yes,” Max pointed out, “but after this many years, what does it matter?”

  “It matters to me, Max,” she said.

  “Why?” he asked, unable to grasp the concept of children mattering.

  “Because …” she said, her voice trailing off as she searched for a way to explain.

  She knew that Tabitha was a link to a much happier past. Tabitha was an extension of the love she’d shared with Brenden. But how could she explain that to Max?

  “Is this girl going to want money from us?” Max asked, his chief concern coming to bare.

  Allexxiss sighed. “No, Max, she doesn’t need money from us,” she said tiredly.

  “And you know this how?”

  “Because her father has plenty,” she snapped.

  “He does? How did that happen? Did your parents pay him off or what?”

  Allex looked back at him, her mouth dropping open at how easy it was for him to dismiss anyone else having the ability to make money on their own without help from others. To Max’s way of thinking, if someone was poor, they should stay that way, they had no right to become rich, because it upset the balance.

  “No, Max,” she said, her tone acid now, “he wasn’t a slave trader, they didn’t have to buy my freedom from him or anything.”

  He looked surprised at her tone of voice, then nodded. “Okay, so if she’s not after money, why contact her?”

  “I wanted to, Max, that’s why.”

  “What could this girl possibly mean to you after all this time?” Max asked.

  “She means a lot to me,” Allex told him, her tone emphatic.