Thrills and Spills

by Dominique Kyle

  “You can’t heal me from yourself!” I said fiercely.

  “I just thought-”

  “You just thought what?” I snarled.

  “That you were in love with Quinn…” His voice trailed away.

  “Well that just shows how little you know me then, doesn’t it?” I hissed at him. “I told you right from the beginning that Quinn was like a brother – though maybe more like some sort of cousin. Sometimes I’m fond of him like a friend, sometimes I hate him like an enemy, but I am not in love with him!”

  There was a long silence. Then he said rather defiantly, “Well he adores you…”

  “I very much doubt it,” I snapped. “But even if he did, the feeling’s never been reciprocated! He’s an immature idiot! And now you’re turning out to be one too!” I stood up sharply and turned to walk off.

  “Eve, I’m sorry,” he called after me.

  “Well it’s too bloody late now isn’t it?” I hurled back and marched off back to the van.

  I got in beside Jo. “Was that you shouting at my brother?” She asked.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “You ok?”

  “Yes, are you?”

  “Wish I’d brought a hot water bottle with me,” she moaned. “The paracetamol’s barely touching it.”

  I reached for my bag. “Here, combine it with Ibuprofen, you’re allowed to do that.”

  Pete and Paul arrived in together about ten minutes later. Probably talking about me, I thought. And maybe giving me time to undress privately. I wonder what advice Paul’s giving him? I thought. What an idiot Pete was! He hadn’t indicated he wanted to get back with me though, just apologised for what he’d done.

  I was acutely aware that we were going to this next meet, just for me, because we’d taken a good look over Pete’s car and it just couldn’t be sorted out in time, we needed to go home and get the parts. I’d offered for us not to bother, but the Satterthwaites all vetoed that, so I felt a heavy responsibility on me to do well.

  On arriving and looking around, we could see that a lot of yesterday’s superstars weren’t around. Tyler wasn’t here because he didn’t need to be. Horrocks, in maintance of his National Points Championship which is a huge commitment to attending every possible race around, would have been here, but he’d trashed his car. The Irish were here, and some of the Regional Champions. Quinn was here because the F1s were on, so it was a combined fixture for him and Rob.

  I wandered over to look for Quinn but only found Rob around working on his own car. I came over and took a closer look.

  “Ever thought of the F1s?” Rob asked me as I peered into the engine at his side.

  “I wish-” I said longingly. “Too expensive for the likes of me. I need to conquer the F2s first.”

  He glanced sideways at me. “Do you think you will?”

  I examined his face for clues as to what my answer should be. I was always careful with men not to sound too cocky or challenging to avoid becoming a target. He wasn’t in the F2s himself anymore so maybe he wouldn’t care too much – he’d left at the top, so he’d achieved it himself – but he had set up Quinn as a potential rival to me and may still hold ambitions for him to beat me.

  The pause lasted too long and he straightened up. He wiped his hands on a cloth, his eyes narrowed.

  “Ooo, look at you,” he taunted. “You have every intention of achieving one of the top spots don’t you?”

  I said nothing. He raised his eyebrows at me.

  “So, if you were a betting man,” I responded at last. “What odds would you lay on me achieving it?”

  “Barring bad luck or poor equipment or not enough mechanical back up or getting pregnant,” he said without hesitation, “you’ll achieve it. You’ll achieve at least one of them and then we’ll see whether your talent and drive is enough to keep you at the top across the board.”

  I was aware of a jolt of surprise. No-one else had said this – at least, not to my face. “Is everyone saying that? Or is this just a maverick opinion of your own?”

  “Ah well, I’m out of it now, aren’t I?” Rob pointed out with a cynical smile. “So I’ve got nothing to lose by saying it aloud have I?”

  “True,” I agreed. I looked back at my own pit and saw Paul signalling to me to come back.

  Rob gave me a sly smile. “You should shag Quinn,” he said.

  I stared at him. “Why?”

  “Because it would make good telly.”

  “Well I wouldn’t be doing it in front of the cameras would I?” I said sarcastically. “That wouldn’t exactly be the family entertainment they were aiming for!”

  He smiled. “All the fans out there have been ‘Will they? Won’t they?’ for weeks now.”

  “Have they?” I said blankly. “No-one’s mentioned it to me!”

  “Well I just have now haven’t I?” He pointed out with a glint in his eye.

  I walked away without dignifying his suggestion with an answer.

  Decent results. Second, first, second. Both the seconds lost out to the Irish guy. Pete and Paul shared the driving home while Jo and I lay down in the back.

  “Do you ever drive the Beast?” I asked her.

  “Only if I have to. I hate it,” she said.

  It was after two am when they dropped me outside the flat. I was so grateful they’d let us girls sleep for most of the way otherwise I’d be useless at work tomorrow.

  I jogged up the stairs and found all the lights on when I got in. I figured Quinn must have just got back as well. But all was silent. His bedroom door was open with no light on, and there was no-one in the bathroom. Light showed under Kes’s door. I tapped on the door and called ‘Kes, are you awake in there? Is Quinn in there?’

  I waited, listening hard. There was complete hush. I knocked again, louder. Then I began to feel weird. I pressed the handle down and quietly opened the door. Kes’s main light was on. Kes himself was lying face down on his bed, with one arm dangling off the edge. There was a scrumpled newspaper lying on the floor, and blister pack after blister pack of paracetamol scattered all over the place – empty.

  The room reeled around me for a moment, then I rushed over to him. His skin was so cold to the touch that I immediately feared the worst, but I put a hand to his mouth and felt a tiny warm ripple of breath. I ripped my phone out of my pocket and rang 999.

  “Ambulance. Suicide attempt. Paracetamol. Unconscious. Still breathing.”

  While I waited for the Ambulance I picked up the paper, already guessing what I was going to see. It was the same Sunday rag as published the ones of me. ‘Endless Thrills Turn Me On, says Spills teenage side-kick Siân’. Shit and they’d picked the absolute worst ones. Stars galore, but far too small. Provocatively posed full length one of Siân to one side. Short skirt, low cut top, pouting lips. ‘The more Thrills the better,’ says seventeen year old Siân. ‘Anywhere we’re in danger of being caught… that’s why I had a brilliant orgasm the night Eve walked in on me and Pete at it – we did it deliberately when we knew she was likely to arrive and it all worked perfectly to plan – you should have seen her face! At first I had to persuade my last boyfriend to be a bit more adventurous, but after a while he got quite into it himself and came up with lots of good ideas of his own. My favourite places are the ones that will most shock other people if they find out – that’s the biggest turn on of all!’

  I dropped the paper onto the floor. The stuff about me and Pete made me feel sick. But poor Kes, he’d been alone all weekend and had had all day staring at this monstrosity. If I had felt betrayed by Pete, how much worse would Kes be feeling in this double betrayal? The only one redeeming thing was that she hadn’t named him. But she didn’t need to, did she? Everyone who watched the programme would know who her previous boyfriend was.

  I sat by the bed and held Kes’s limp hand. “You idiot Kes,” I said. “Why didn’t you wait to talk to us? Never mind, the ambulance is on its way…”

  As the ambulance men were negotiating
Kes on a stretcher down the narrow stairs, Quinn arrived home on his bike. He leapt off and ran over when he saw the ambulance.

  At first he looked relieved when he saw me standing there but I grabbed his arm. “It’s Kes,” I warned him. “The photos are plastered all over the newspapers and he’s taken loads of paracetamol.”

  Quinn was ashen. “Oh God no!” He rushed to the door of the ambulance, but they shook their heads and closed it against him. We watched it till they disappeared round the corner and then we heard the siren start up. It was the siren that finally freaked us. They only do that when it’s life or death.

  “Come back up, Quinn,” I urged.

  He walked slowly up the steps behind me. I took him straight to Kes’ room so he could see the evidence. On the way back through the living area I noticed a couple of empty spirit bottles lying around. I sniffed the glass lying on its side on the bedroom floor. Vodka probably. Quinn sat down heavily on Kes’ bed.

  “Oh shit, Ginty!”

  Wordlessly I handed him the paper. He stared at it, read the words slowly aloud and then screwed it up and hurled it away from him. He put his head in his hands. “He’s been alone here all weekend.”

  “I know,” I said guiltily. “If we’d been here, we could have stopped him. We’d have supported him. I’d have told him that you can survive this however humiliating it feels at the time…”

  “Shit! His parents!” He suddenly realised.

  “Ring them,” I said urgently.

  “What at three am?”

  “What if he dies?” I pointed out.

  While Quinn went out into the living area to ring first Kes’ mum and then his dad, I wrote a text and sent it to Toby, Sasha and Damian all at the same time. They needed to know what was going on. Toby immediately (impressively) texted me back Wil B in contact am.

  We got to bed finally about three thirty. I was finding it hard to drop off initially, but then exhaustion overcame me. A bit later I was woken up by Quinn getting into bed beside me. “I can’t sleep,” he whispered. He put his arms round me. I couldn’t be bothered to shrug him off, turned my back and let him snuggle in behind me. He probably needed some oxywatsit. I went straight back to sleep.

  The alarm went off shrilly at seven am.

  “SHIT!” Yelled Quinn, thrashing suddenly upright.

  “Oh shut up Quinn,” I groaned. “Morning is bad enough without you making it even more noisily dramatic!”

  He flopped back down onto the pillow. “Huh! I didn’t know where I was for a moment… That’s a truly alarming alarm you have there, Ginty!”

  “Clue’s in the name,” I said yawning. I got up and went to the bathroom. When I got back he was still in my bed, fast asleep again, like a huge unshaven dark haired Goldilocks.

  I shook him roughly. “OUT!” I ordered. “I need to get dressed. Some of us have to go to work you know!”

  Before I left for work he promised to ring me with any news of Kes. And since he was on a late shift I promised to go up to visit Kes after work and text him any news during the evening.

  Jo was shocked at the news. I found it hard to concentrate and stop yawning, and I had to ask permission to leave my phone on to field the inevitable calls from Toby, Sasha and Damian.

  Quinn rang me. “He was put straight on a drip of acetylsomething which is an antidote that works quite well if it’s given within eight hours of the overdose which I’m pretty sure it was. But he’d drunk so much alcohol as well that they say that they can’t be sure for four days whether his liver will fail. Apparently paracetamol overdose doesn’t cause unconsciousness, so it was the alcohol that did that…”

  I tried to visit that evening but they wouldn’t let me in. His mum came out to see me. She looking pale and weepy. “Yes he’s awake and really sorry and just crying all the time,” she said. “That dreadful Siân, how can she do this to him?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “That’s what we’re all asking.”

  On Tuesday, both Quinn and I went up to see him together at seven pm which was visiting hours. We’d rung ahead and the nurses said we could come if his parents agreed, and his Mum was happy for us to go in as she needed to spend the evening with the twins and she’d rather Kes wasn’t alone.

  He was on his own in a private room. He looked terrible. As soon as he saw us he burst into tears. Quinn looked dismayed.

  “I’m sorry guys! I’m sorry I did this to you!” Kes sobbed.

  I put a hand on his. “Hey Kes, it’s ok! We just wish we’d been around this weekend to help you cope. We’re so sorry you were on your own.”

  Kes choked back his sobs and wiped at his face. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can’t stop crying. It was a stupid thing to do I know but it just seemed that there was no other way out!”

  Quinn and I exchanged glances. “Maybe you need some anti-depressants Kes,” I suggested.

  “Maybe you need a hug from Dubetskoi,” Quinn said, producing the filthy creature like a rabbit from a hat and thrusting it at him.

  “Oh that’s so sweet of you Adam,” Kes said, overwhelmed by the gesture.

  “Make sure the nurses don’t throw him out,” I advised acerbically. “He looks like a prime harbourer of MRSA.”

  “Don’t let them bleach him,” Quinn said anxiously.

  “Maybe you need a hug from us as well,” I suggested. I leant forward and gave him a hug, and after a moment’s hesitation Quinn joined in from the other side. Kes clung to us.

  “Honestly, I promise never to do it again! I was so stupid…”

  Suddenly I lifted my head. I recognised an approaching voice. “Excuse me,” I said, and went outside. There she was, the little trouble maker herself accompanied by Tanya and Kay the camerawoman.

  I blocked her way. “Where do you think you’re going?” I demanded fiercely.

  “I’ve got as much right to see Kes as anyone!” She launched at me. “You can’t stop me.”

  I put both arms out and blocked the doorway. “Just watch me.”

  Her face contorted up with hatred. “Let me past you evil jealous bitch!” She raised her hand to slap me but I just stared her out. The door opened behind me and Quinn stood there.

  “What the hell?” His eyes fell on his sister. “I might have known! Piss off Siân! Haven’t you done enough damage yet?”

  Her face twisted up and I knew she was trying to conjure up the crocodile tears but was nearly too angry to do so. To cover up her lack, she dropped her face into her hands and started to shake her shoulders as though she was sobbing.

  “I feel so terrible, I have to say sorry to him!”

  Quinn was completely unmoved. “Don’t forget I’ve known you all your life Siân, and I’m not falling for that one!”

  “I had no idea they’d get into the newspapers – they were on my private Blog account!” She wailed.

  He folded his arms. “So private that every person who’s friends with you on Facebook is offered the password to access it!” He sneered. “So private you happily gave the newspaper an interview and posed for a photo for the article! You’ve been planning this for months you attention seeking little liar!”

  He took a threatening step towards her and she took a quick step back. “And you haven’t even thought what you’re doing to Mum have you? You might just be the last straw that kills her! Have you thought about that? Humiliating her! Putting our church in the papers! She adored you, you know that? Her only daughter until Mariah came along! She tries to protect you from harm by asking you to close down your online activities before it’s too late and you just punish her by pretending to run away while carrying on regardless with your game plan!”

  She stared at him, looking rather pale. Then two high spots of colour flushed into her cheeks. “How dare you!” She screamed at him. “I hate you!”

  “Do I look like I’m bothered?” Quinn said coldly.

  Some nursing staff came rushing up the corridor. “What’s going on?”

  �
��Kes doesn’t want to see her,” I said to them. “We’re just asking her to please go away quietly.”

  Siân glared at me. “Cow!” She snapped.

  “Oh grow up!” I said irritably.

  The nurses flanked Siân, and looked in a slightly bewildered way at the presence of the camera. “We are going to have to ask you to leave quietly or we will have to call for security,” they told her in severe tones.

  Siân evidently made the calculation that she’d got enough good footage to ensure the scene would feature in tomorrow night’s episode, so she stalked off.

  Quinn and I glanced at each other, let out our withheld breaths and went back into Kes. He was looking really worried.

  “You didn’t actually want to see her did you?” Quinn asked anxiously.

  Kes shook his head. “She’s the last person I want to see ever in my life again!”

  We all sat around silently feeling drained.

  “Guys, I’m sorry, but I won’t be coming back to the flat. Mum wants me to come home and I think she’s right. I’m not coping. Dad’s going to pay my rent for another month so I don’t drop you two right in it, but you’ll have to look for another flatmate.”

  Afterwards Quinn and I stopped off at a pub.

  “Shoot,” Quinn said. “Who are we going to find at such short notice?”

  “I don’t know,” I said glumly. “I know his Mum’s probably right. He needs some TLC right now that we can’t give him and it’s the end of term at college so he’ll be at a loose end hanging around the flat if he’s too depressed to get a job. But it won’t feel the same without Kes, will it?”

  “Little bitch,” Quinn muttered under his breath.

  I didn’t bother enquiring as to who he was talking about.

  We sat with mugs of coffee and a huge chocolate cake ready to fortify ourselves as we watched Wednesday’s episode.

  “They’ll show that scene up at the hospital for sure,” Quinn said gloomily.

  “Good,” I said. “She properly shows herself up in it!”

  However they didn’t go straight into the drama. They showed footage of the races on Saturday. They showed the final few minutes of all the three races I was in.