Shiver Sweet

by H Elliston

  After closing the door, I wandered down the hall, noticed the office door ajar. I poked my head inside. “Oh, Nicola, you’re in here.”

  “Yeah, er... sorry.” Sitting behind my desk, her hands moved frantically and she slammed the laptop lid closed.

  I pursed my lips. “Everything okay?”

  She gave me a hollow smile. “Just finishing up paying my catalogue bills. Was that Harry?”

  “Yeah.” I waved the letter in the air. “I think it could be a contract.” I didn’t want to open it yet. Couldn’t cope with another blow if they’d declined an offer I hadn’t even made them. What was Brian thinking? It was lovely, of course, but I just felt a need to deal with my problems on my own. Remembering the text message, I reached to pull the phone out of my pocket. “Today’s really fucking with my head. And I’m really worried about Sarah. She’s cried herself to sleep.”

  “Best place for her.”

  “I’ll go check on her in a minute.” I realised Nicola was sitting at one of my customer’s computers. “Shouldn’t you be at work this afternoon? Have you called them?”

  Her mouth twisted a little like she was choosing her words. “I took the day off for your birthday.”

  I opened the text message from Brian. I really hoped he was okay. It read:

  ‘I’m sure by now you’ve heard about John. It’s awful. I’m sorry. Hope u & Sarah r ok. Please know that I care about you deeply. You’ve had it rough lately and I never intended to hurt you. But it’s not wise for us to be together now. You and me... I think we should rewind.’

  “Whoa! Wha-t? No, no.” Rewind? I stumbled against the door frame. “He... he’s...” Those few little words were enough to finally crush me. There was now nothing left of me to break.

  “You okay? Christa?”

  “It’s from Brian. He’s sorry for John, sorry for...” I reread the text then glanced up, choking down emotion. “I was a mistake. Basically. He felt sorry for me. Perhaps he just wanted to be more involved in Sarah’s life or... anyway, he wants us to rewind.”

  “No way!”

  “God, I feel so stupid. He still wants Claire.” I waved the envelope. “And this supposed contract is a blow cushion.” But wait... not wise for us to be together now. Now? As in because of John? Oh, crap. If the police saw this text...

  “Are you sure that’s what the message says?”

  I waved the phone. Tears sprung to my eyes. “Why would he do this to me today?” The path I’d veered off on in my dreamy head didn’t exist anymore. Desire, it... I meant nothing to him at all for him to baulk at first base. “Can’t argue with black ‘n’ white. His words. Sent from his phone.” Hmmm... what on earth is going on?

  “If that’s true, then... oh, what an arse!”

  So, Claire hadn’t lied in her earlier message. At least she’d had the guts to be honest straight away. How was I going to deal with this?

  “He’s stressed, confused. I mean, just think about what he’s dealt with today.”

  I gave her a wide-eyed stare, not liking what swam in my brain. “Exactly. He’s probably just left the police station, with Claire, and sending me this is the first thing he does...? It’s obviously been eating away at him.”

  “I guess.”

  “Why would Brian hurt me this way? How could he do a one-eighty on me in a text?” I bowed my head and more tears flowed. For Christ’s sake, we’d told Sarah about us being together over breakfast.

  “Call him,” Nicola suggested. “Tell him you want some answers. Then give him a piece of your mind, or I will! Jeez, you’re worried about him, and all that’s on his mind is breaking up with you. I’ve changed my mind about him. He doesn’t deserve you.”

  “Chickens probably have more successful love lives than I do,” I mumbled, trying to keep from dropping into full-blown doom and gloom.

  “Men. I hate them.”

  “No. I can’t face speaking to him. Not yet.” This needed further thought. But not right now because my head reeled too must to delve into anything objectively.

  Nicola fumbled with something on my desk.

  Wiping tears from my cheeks, I stared at my computer which was to her right. “Why are you using that laptop? It’s a customer’s. You should use mine.”

  Nicola’s face coloured pillar box red. “I-I... well, the thing is...” She whipped a flash drive out of the USB connection and clenched her fist around it.

  Perplexed, I marched further into the room, pointing. “What’s on that?”

  Nicola’s lips twitched around a gaping mouth.

  “Don’t mess with me. I’ve had enough crap for one day.” I stepped up to my desk and opened my palm. “Hand it over.”

  Nicola shook her head and leaned back in her chair. “It’s nothing. Just paying bills. I’m done now.”

  I blinked tears from my eyes and my mind hopped backwards. The phone line! Paying bills my ass! I slid my phone into my pocket, clasped the envelope under my arm. Reaching forward, I made a snatch for the flash drive from her hand. “Why are you lying to me? How can you pay bills all day when the phone line is knocked out, huh? I might be upset but I’m not brain dead. What’s going on?”

  She wrestled with my fingers, trying to prise them off her own.

  I pushed my fingers inside Nicola’s clenched fist, forced her thumb up and whipped the drive out. “Gotcha!”

  She exploded out of the chair and stretched forward. “Give it back.”

  “Maybe I’ll open it myself and find out what your dark secrets are, huh?” Most likely it was something creative for my birthday. Nicola often enjoyed playing around with photos, turning them into cartoons or arty black ‘n’ white popart with speech bubbles. Christ! We could all do with something to cheer us up, even for just one moment, but why not use my computer? And why the guilty face?

  “Shut up. Don’t make a scene,” she suddenly hissed, crushing my theory.

  “A scene?”

  “Before they see us.” As soon as the words passed her lips, Nicola‘s face morphed like the devil himself had whacked her cheek. She glanced nervously over my head. “Oh. Fuck.”

  Her peculiar behaviour chewed at me. A birthday surprise would not warrant such a large reaction from her. “I was only messing around. Who’ll see us? And why are you lying about using the internet?”

  “Forget it. I need that flash drive. Give it back.”

  Confused, I said, “N-no.”

  Her eyes drifted half closed, and she swayed a little on the chair. She looked decidedly weary, drunk even. Is she going to... faint?

  “Nicola. Have you eaten today?”

  She massaged her temple and placed her other palm on the desk to steady herself. “I’m fine. Now please, give me the drive.”

  Unease hung stiffly in the air. “No,” I said pointedly. “What’s going on? You’re acting weird, using a computer that you shouldn’t, you look faint, jumpy...” I grabbed the laptop she’d been using, spun it around and opened the lid.

  Nicola reached forward to grab it, and her elbow slipped on the desk. Papers shot off and fanned across the carpet.

  “Oh, great,” I moaned. “Now you’ve done it. Those are my notes for work.”

  A tear slid down her red cheek. “Stop. Just stop. I can’t take anymore.” She dropped to her knees behind the desk, melted and wept.

  Worried, I dashed over and touched her back. “Why are you acting this way?”

  Nicola raised her head. As her tear-thick eyes locked onto mine, she attempted to smile. But then, in a nanosecond, all changed again, her dark mood palpable; upset morphed into...fear.

  Fear? “What’s wrong with you?” I squatted to her level, felt an emotional shift deep in my chest. “Nicola, love, please. Why are you crying?”

  She remained on her knees behind my desk. “Please. Just... don’t.” She wiped her streaming nose and dropped her voice frighteningly lower. “Leave me alone. Drop it, will ya?”

  “Tell me what’s upsetting you.” I point
ed to the laptop above her head and raised my voice in frustration. “And tell me what you’ve been doing on that.”

  Her expression dropped like she’d been caught stealing. “Not here.”

  I stood firm. “Yes, here. There’s enough bad stuff happened today without you acting all secretive.”

  “Christa, please!” she begged, but I stood my ground. Within a second, she jumped up and moved out from the desk, tugging me with her.

  “Nicola! You’re hurting me.” I tried to shake free but she dragged me across the room. Worry crawled over my skin. She’d been acting out of character all day, but this was way off piste for a hangover.

  Nicola ragged me around until we came face to face, one shoulder pressed to the wall behind the door.

  “What’s going on here? Why are...” I stared into her watery eyes, shocked and now speechless from her utter weirdness and the deep panic creasing her face. “Do you know something about what happened today?”

  “Don’t move, don’t speak, and don’t bloody scream.“

  “Scream?” Chills rippled across my scalp. “Why would I scream?“

  She released my arm and brought a trembling hand up to her head. “Oh, God. This wasn’t meant to happen.” She took a deep breath and stared into my eyes. “Someone’s setting Brian up. As a warning. Maybe.”

  I tried to wriggle away. “What? Who? How do you know? Nicola, you’re scaring me.”

  Her eyes narrowed to flickering slits casting paranoid stares in every direction. “We’re gonna be in so much trouble.”

  Her tension was infectious. Whatever few sparkles remained in my soul... well, her words flushed them away.

  “I’m not moving until you start talking.”

  More tears came. Her bottom lip quivered.

  I put steel into my voice. “Well?”

  After a really deep breath, she cupped her hand around her mouth, leaned into me and poured sickening words into my ear. “Brian did not kill John. Some men did it.”

  I gasped and jerked away.

  She clasped my arm tight and forced us cheek to cheek. “And they’re watching every move we make.”

  A shivery darkness coiled itself around me. I leaned away to read her face. Is she being serious? “Who’s watching? What men?”

  Her chest heaved and her crinkled eyes darted up to a spot on the wall above our heads. “The men who murdered John. That’s who.”

  CHAPTER 22

  CHRISTA

  Nicola’s story rocked me to the core; men busting into the house, attacking her, murdering my husband, and the cameras...

  The shutters, on what I thought was my private world, flew open. “Oh, Jesus!” my voice belted up into the rafters. I stood shaking against the wall.

  Nicola squeezed my shoulder. “Keep your voice down! Don’t move from this spot, or they’ll see us. And don’t look up! I think most camera’s are in the air vents, but the one in here’s above our heads. Maybe inside the clock.”

  My heart pounded. Shock squeezed out tears. “This is bullshit. It can’t be real,” I said, praying that the stars exploding in my head would die off. “Seriously? People pay to watch us?”

  “Yes. It’s real.” Nicola’s demeanor hardened. “So deal with it.”

  My life, however good or bad it was, had not been my own. And Sarah! I raised my head. “The bastards!” I wanted to grab my daughter and run screaming from my home. Filming adults, us, was bad enough, but a child!

  Nicola smothered my mouth with her hand while tears oozed from her eyes. “Shush. Please. You have to be quiet.”

  I trembled, slid down the wall and nudged her hand away. “D-do you think they’re watching us... right now?”

  “Possibly. Probably. But we’re beneath the camera here.” She looked down at me, clearly on edge in case I yelled again.

  “This can’t be true.”

  “It is.”

  Numbness descended while I pictured sleazy men fixed on us from the privacy of sweaty leather swivel seats, hungry eyes glued to the screen. Privacy! What a joke! Where was mine? “I feel so betrayed.” I did. I felt betrayed and sickened on so many levels it was outrageous; Brian casting me aside would have been bad enough for any normal day. But learning of cameras... and a murder... here! My husband’s blood pooled on the kitchen floor where we stand to cook our meals and chat, putting the world to rights. Oh, my...

  “My fingerprints are on the knife they used to stab him,” Nicola said. “They’ve kept it.”

  “Oh, Jesus.” I hugged my knees. Nicola’s story was one blast of dynamite after the next. My chest heaved. I struggled for air.

  “Breathe, Christa,” Nicola whispered. She started rubbing my back. “I wanted to tell you, but I’ve been so scared. I really thought they were gonna kill me.”

  I gasped. This totally explained Nicola’s strange behaviour.

  “It makes me feel sick, but apparently I have a big fan.”

  “A fan?” I asked, confused.

  “Yes. Some guy named Henry enjoys... watching me in the bathtub apparently. Yeah, yeah.” She scowled in disgust. “Sick. I know. But he’s the reason they kept me alive. That, plus the fact that their life would be easier with an insider uploading the software.”

  I squirmed. “Those fucking monsters!” I glanced up into the eyes staring back at me, large and unblinking, paralysed by fear.

  “Please, Christa. Keep your voice down.” Nicola glanced around. “Maybe we should move. I’m trying to remember where the blind spots are.”

  “Why do they need you to upload that software? I mean, it would only film people when their computers are switched on.”

  “It gives them a glimpse into a household. If they like what they see, I reckon they break in and install more reliable cameras.”

  Tears came to my eyes. Oh, hell. Poor girl. Touching her... well, I couldn’t help but mentally flick through her pain, it was almost palpable. She’d been brutally attacked, scared witless and tight-lipped about it through fear.

  I wished I had known.

  A voyeur website. Masked men. Nicola attacked. John stabbed and even tortured in death. Jeez.

  “You’re shocked,” she said, squeezing my shoulder.

  “You think?”

  “I understand. You should have seen the state I was in last night falling asleep in a corner. But you have to be silent and contain it.” Her voice dropped. “For the cameras.”

  Contain it? Is she mad? How could I hide my feelings about this?

  I wanted to take her in my arms and soak up some of her torture, but there was no time. This had to end. Now.

  I pushed up off the floor, legs weak, body still quivering. The fresh, immediate horror pounded like a hammer on my head.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Stuff silence,” I told Nicola, wiping my tears as rage at those men took over me. “I’m phoning the police. Why the fuck have you left it this long?”

  “If you wanna get us all killed, then go ahead. Call the cops, or pack a bag and rush out the door so they can see you’re doing a runner. I guarantee you they’ll storm straight round here.” She clenched her teeth. “They’re watching every move we make. No police. That’s what they said.”

  “Of course that’s what they said.” I looked into her eyes. We were sharing the same air, touching skin, but we were planets apart in the head. “No. We need to ring the police.” I bustled past her.

  Nicola grabbed my arm and stopped me leaving the office. “You have to calm down. They’ll pick up on your body language.” She glanced around. “We’re off camera here, I think. But listen, think hard, Christa. We can’t afford to piss them off again. That stunt with John on the sledge, it was a warning. They must have seen the note, or–”

  “What note?”

  “The one I chickened out of giving to you.”

  “What have you been doing all day?”

  “Well, once I got myself together, I started doing what they asked. Uploading the spy software
to computers in your office.”

  “Jesus!” I couldn’t keep the frost out of my voice.

  “And-“ She tightened her fingers around my arm. “-and blocking a few of the upstairs cameras to protect Sarah. I had to upload the software, Christa. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  Her activities were straining our relationship. “Let go of me. You’ve put everyone at risk by... by...”

  She pulled me closer and spoke against my ear. “Believe me. I’ve wanted to pick up the phone many times to cry for help, but these men have eyes all over the place. God knows how many homes are being filmed. But it’s a lot. It’s not just us they could have threatened. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve killed before.”

  “You should have told me!”

  Her expression took a nosedive. “Shout at me if you have to, but all I’ve tried to do is stop those perverts from seeing you and Sarah naked on camera, uploading spy software from the memory stick they gave me to your customers’ computers like they told me to do so that–”

  “So they can spy on even more people. Jeez.”

  “No. So that they don’t hurt our families like they threatened to do! I’ve been driving myself nuts working out how to screw them over. Is it so terrible to want to protect the people I care about?”

  Why was I losing my cool with her? She’d been through so much. It was those men who deserved to suffer. I locked my stormy eyes onto hers, realised my anger was seriously misdirected. “Oh, Nicola. Of course it’s not terrible. Poor thing. I’m sorry. You’ve been through hell. I’m just shocked.” I pulled her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her like ivy. “I’m sorry.” I held her, squeezed her, kissed her cheek then leaned away. “Show me the website, will you?”

  “I can’t.” She frowned. “For one, it was those men who cut the phone line, so we have no internet.”

  “It was them? Okay, I’ll search on my mobile, don’t need the phone line to use 3G. What’s the site called?”

  She shrugged. “And secondly, I didn’t look at the web address. We just wanted to escape.” She touched my shoulder. “Listen, I know John’s given you a rough time lately, but he really was a hero last night. I just thought you ought to know that.”