Bedford Street Brigade 02 - Love Unbidden

by Laura Landon

  “Roarke and I worked hard. The virtue of hard work was about the only thing our parents left us, but Roarke saved his money, while I spent every pound I earned—and more.

  “He’d met a girl. A girl he was head over heels in love with.” He focused more intently on the questioning pleading in Millie’s eyes. “I didn’t know her name. He wouldn’t introduce me. He said I’d be a bad influence on her and he didn’t want me to frighten her off before he was ready to tie the knot. He loved her. Said she was perfect. He had every intention of marrying her.”

  “What happened?” Mack asked.

  Reid’s laugh came out guttural and harsh. “What usually happened. I ruined everything.”

  Mack rose and refilled his glass, as well as everyone else’s. When he sat again, Reid continued.

  “I’d been paid for the two weeks I’d put in at the docks and I stopped at the Beef and Ale on my way home. Roarke wanted to meet me there later and I had time to kill.”

  Reid blanched at his choice of words and wiped a hand across his brow before he went on.

  “I was feeling lucky and after a few pints I decided to join three men playing cards and try my luck.”

  Reid lifted his uninjured arm and raked his fingers through his hair. “I should have known to avoid them. They were rough characters and were already well into their cups before I arrived. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to increase my earnings. I thought they would be easy pickings.

  “I stayed in the game too long. Drank too much. Pushed my luck too far. I should have known better. I won too much. Badgered the losers too much. And…things got out of hand.

  “One of the men accused me of cheating. I told him I didn’t need to cheat. That the three of them were such bad card players I could have beat them without trying.” He clenched the bed cover in his hand. “That’s when the fight broke out.”

  Reid looked up, saw the pattern on the ceiling, without really seeing it. “I was anxious to fight. I always loved a good brawl. It was in my nature. And the odds were perfect—three to one. I was in my realm.”

  He sucked in a breath that tore through his chest. “That’s when Roarke came in. He’d come to find me. He always jumped in to save me from myself—and others. He was the older twin and thought his job was to take care of his younger brother, when the truth was that I was far more capable of taking care of him than he was of taking care of me.

  “The fight turned ugly. One of the men pulled a knife and went for me.” Reid swallowed several times. This was the first time he’d spoken about what had happened that night. The first time he’d told anyone else what had happened.

  “Roarke jumped between us. The knife came down, but I wasn’t the one who paid for my drunken foolishness. Roarke was.”

  His eyes filled with tears, but he didn’t try to hide them. His fellow investigators needed to know the extent of his regret. Millie needed to know. “My brother died in my arms.”

  “So you decided to assume Roarke’s identity as well as his name,” Mack said.

  “No, I decided that Roarke should live and Reid should die. Roarke shouldn’t have died. He deserved to live. Reid didn’t.”

  “So you gave up all of Reid’s vices: his drinking, his gambling, his womanizing, and became a man your brother would have approved of.”

  “I couldn’t let Roarke die in vain. I couldn’t allow his death to mean nothing. Reid deserved to die, and Roarke to live.”

  Reid turned his gaze to where Millie sat. Her face had lost most of its color. Her eyes were filled with pain and regret. And something else he couldn’t put a name to. “I’m sorry, Millie. I tried to find out who my brother was in love with. I wanted to explain what had happened and tell her how much Roarke loved her. But I had nowhere to start. And then it seemed better to stop looking. I selfishly thought it would be best if no one knew my secret.”

  “But someone knew—at least one part of the secret you were keeping,” Millie said.

  “Yes.” Reid turned to Mack. “I was being blackmailed.”

  “Someone knew you weren’t Roarke?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think they’d figured that part out, although I’m sure they would have, in time. They discovered that I’d killed a man.”

  “Who did you kill?”

  “The man who killed my brother. I didn’t intend to. But he left me no choice. I guess he wasn’t satisfied with killing one of us. He followed me home one night and attacked me outside my flat. We fought and I killed him.”

  “Did you go to the authorities?”

  “No. I didn’t want to have to explain anything. Few people could tell Roarke and me apart, and I’d already convinced most of my acquaintances that Reid was dead and that I was Roarke. I didn’t want to take the chance that someone would discover who I really was.”

  “What did you do with the body of the man who killed your brother?” Mack asked.

  “I left it in the alley behind the Beef and Ale. I figured someone there would know who he was and get in touch with his friends.”

  “Do you know who was blackmailing you?” Jack asked this question.

  Reid shook his head. “Not for sure, but I—”

  “I know,” Millie said.

  All eyes shifted to Millie.

  “It’s Rogers.”

  “You’re sure?” Mack asked.

  She nodded. “Roarke…” She stopped. “Reid accused me of sending him the blackmail letter, except I hadn’t. But I was sure I knew who had. I confronted Rogers and he admitted that he had.”

  “Did he say why?” Mack asked.

  “He said he wanted him gone. He didn’t want him anywhere around me. Or Robbie.”

  Mack and his fellow investigators were silent for several long seconds. Finally, Jack spoke. He directed his question to Millie. “How certain are you that Rogers isn’t involved in trying to steal the papers Lord Strothum has? We know someone is working things on the inside. Could the inside contact be Rogers?”

  Reid saw Millie struggle to answer Jack’s question. He knew she didn’t want it to be Rogers, but couldn’t guarantee that it wasn’t.

  Hugh spoke up before she had to answer. “What if the only person who could identify Rogers as the mastermind in the theft of the papers was the man who broke into Strothum’s study last night? What if Rogers killed him so he couldn’t identify him?”

  Jack asked the next question. “But why kill him before he got the papers out of the safe?”

  The investigators were silent for a moment. Then Mack spoke. “What if the papers aren’t in the safe any longer? What if Rogers already has them?”

  “Bloody hell,” Jack whispered. “That’s perfect. When Strothum killed Jimmy, Rogers realized he had to have another fall guy to take the blame for the theft. That fall guy was Freddie Beecher.”

  “But Rogers has to realize it will only be a matter of hours until we figure out his scheme.”

  The three Brigadesmen rose from their chairs. “We need to check the safe, and I think we need to pay Rogers a little visit, and we need to do it soon. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves with the papers, if he has them.”

  “Rogers isn’t downstairs,” Millie said. “He’s in the nursery.”

  “The nursery?” Mack questioned.

  “Yes. He came to the nursery to tell me you needed me here with Roar— with Reid.”

  A frown covered Mack’s forehead. “Let’s go,” he ordered, and the brigadesmen rushed from the room.

  Millie turned her attention to Reid. “What’s wrong?” she asked, but the fear in her eyes indicated she already knew what was wrong. She just didn’t want to face it yet.

  “Help me up, Millie,” Reid said. He needed to be with her. He needed to be at her side if what he suspected was true.

  “You shouldn’t be up,” she said, but he’d already started to rise and she had no choice but to help him.

  “Hand me my shirt.”

  She helped him slip his shirt over
his head and put his injured arm through the sleeve. He didn’t bother tucking his shirt into his pants, but let it hang loose. By the time she’d helped him with his socks and boots, the door opened and the brigadesmen were back.

  “Was Rogers there?” Millie asked.

  Mack shook his head.

  The expression on Mack’s face told Reid that the worst had happened. He stepped closer to Millie and placed his hand against her back.

  “He was gone, Millie. He took Robbie with him.”

  Reid tightened his grip around Millie’s waist and held her when her knees gave out beneath her.

  CHAPTER 16

  Millie paced from one side of the room to the other. Lord and Lady Strothum had been kind enough to allow her the use of one of the rooms off the foyer in which to wait until Reid returned. They’d also assigned someone to help Janie with the children.

  She stopped when she reached the window that faced the street in front of the town house and looked out. How much longer could the investigators be? How much longer would Reid make her wait?

  It was difficult to think of him as Reid now. He’d been Roarke for so long that she’d have to condition herself to think of him as Reid. But she was glad he wasn’t Roarke any longer. So grateful to put to rest everything the name Roarke had meant in her life and savor the new name.

  Reid.

  Roarke belonged to Rosie, he was the love of her life, the father of her child. Millie didn’t want it to be the name of the man who had now claimed her own heart.

  Everything was clear now. Especially the reason Reid had no recollection of Rosie. How could he when he’d never met her? How could he when he knew nothing about her other than that his brother was deeply in love with someone, but he didn’t know who that someone was?

  Knowing he was really Reid Livingston instead of Roarke also erased the guilt and self-recrimination that plagued her for falling in love with the same man she thought her sister loved. For the first time, she was able to examine the emotions she felt for Reid and admit that she loved him with all her heart.

  At any other time the joy of it would have overwhelmed. But tonight it was tinged with fear, fear that her silence had led to tonight’s dark turn of events. That her fear of losing Robbie had kept her silent too long. And now she might have lost the child forever.

  Millie had never felt so alone. Lord Strothum had gone with the investigators, and Lady Strothum was in her rooms. The quiet on this floor of the house was different than the quiet on the third floor where the nursery was located. Here she heard the sounds of every carriage rumbling past, and each time she raced to the window in hopes that the carriage would stop and Reid would emerge with Robbie in tow. But the hours went by without a carriage even slowing.

  Finally, a hansom cab drew to a stop in front of the house. Reid bounded out, but he didn’t rush up the walk to the house. He stood at the curb and removed his hat. Then raked his fingers through his hair as if he needed time before he entered the house. He rolled his wounded shoulder, then rubbed his upper arm as if to ease the pain. He didn’t turn to help a child from the cab. He was heartbreakingly, devastatingly, alone.

  Millie rushed to the front door.

  The footman Lord Strothum had assigned to take over until a replacement for Rogers could be found held the door open. Reid entered, and Millie was struck by the tired look in his eyes and the drawn expression on his face.

  Their gazes locked for a few long seconds, and during that time, Millie not only saw how exhausted Reid was, but how disappointed. From the dark shadows beneath his eyes and his desolate countenance, she knew the news he brought wasn’t good.

  Her hands flew to cover her gasp, and then she held out her hand and pulled him to the room where they could be alone. “Carson, would you please bring a tray with tea and the sandwiches Cook made?”

  “Yes, Miss Millie.”

  Carson went to get the tray, and Millie closed the door behind Reid. While Reid walked to the sofa that faced the fireplace, Millie went to the small table that held several decanters. Her hands trembled, her fingers fluttered over the crystal tumblers, as if they couldn’t decipher how to grasp the familiar objects.

  “Millie, stop,” Reid whispered. He took her hands and drew her gently away from the table. “Let me.”

  The smile he gave her melted her heart.

  “Come, sit down, Millie.”

  Millie sat on the sofa near him and waited until he’d taken a gulp of the whiskey she’d given him. Then she asked the question that her lips had feared to form. “Do you know where Rogers took Robbie?”

  He shook his head, then lowered the glass. “There’s no sign of him yet, but that’s not surprising. Especially since he had such a head start on us.”

  Millie shivered, and caught her lower lip between her teeth to stop the fierce trembling that threatened to escalate. “Do you think he’s left London?”

  Carson entered with the tray, and Reid waited to answer until the young man had placed the tray of sandwiches and tea on the table in front of Millie and left the room.

  “No, he’s still here.”

  “Oh thank God! Why…why do you think that?” She put a sandwich on a plate and handed it to Reid quickly, before her quaking fingers could make a mess of it all.

  “Because he still has the papers he took from Lord Strothum’s safe, and he can’t leave London until he’s sold them.”

  “Do you know who he’s selling them to?”

  “The most likely person is Clyde Ortman. He’s Joseph Whitworth’s plant foreman and the Brigadesmen are watching him. He’s been skimming from Whitworth’s profits for years, and wants to get his hands on Armstrong’s design and copy it. He’d like nothing more than to get a government contract for a breech-loading rifle. His ill-gotten profits would be staggering.”

  Millie waited for Reid to eat one of the sandwiches on his plate. Her mind whirled in a hundred directions putting pieces of the story together, but some small corner of her thoughts was able to register that he looked exhausted.

  “Aren’t you going to eat something?” he asked when he reached for a second sandwich.

  “I’m…I’m not hungry.”

  “You have to eat, Millie. It won’t do anyone any good if you don’t.”

  “I know. I’ll eat something. Later.”

  “Robbie’s fine,” Reid said. “Rogers won’t harm him.”

  “I know. He thinks he can be a proper father to Rosie’s son.”

  “And my brother’s.”

  Millie’s gaze locked with Reid’s. His eyes said so much. The hurt she saw in them spoke volumes.

  “I wish you had told me about Rose. I wish you had told me why you disliked me so much. I might have—”

  Millie shook her head. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t chance you finding out about Robbie. I thought you were Roarke Livingston, and I was afraid if you discovered you had a son you’d take him away from me.” Tears filled her eyes. “I couldn’t risk losing him. He’s mine more than he was Rose’s. I’ve loved and cared for him since the night he was born.”

  Reid set his empty plate on the low table in front of him and leaned back against the cushions. He lowered his head back against the sofa. “Robbie’s father is dead because of me. Robbie will never know what a wonderful man his father was, because I killed him.”

  Millie turned to face Reid, aghast at what he’d said. The pain she heard in his voice tore through her like a dull knife. She reached for his hand and twined her fingers through his. “It’s not your fault your brother is dead. You didn’t kill him.”

  “If only Roarke hadn’t come in search of me. If only he hadn’t jumped in to help me.”

  “Those were decisions your brother made. You didn’t drag him to that tavern or force him to fight your battle. He came because that’s the kind of person he was. He jumped in to fight with you because he didn’t want you to fight alone. That’s how much he loved you.”

  “But I wasn’t worth it, Millie. I�
�m still not worth it. He was worth a hundred of me.”

  “Then stop trying to be him, Reid. Be yourself. Perhaps you’ll find you’re a better man than you thought you were.”

  Reid sat up and turned toward her.

  Millie knew he intended to kiss her, and she wanted nothing more. The second he brought his head near her, she lifted her chin. She was in agony waiting for his lips to touch hers. Couldn’t wait for his tongue to dance with hers. Couldn’t wait for his arms to envelop her.

  He kissed her tentatively at first. Kissed her as if he was fearful of her reaction. But when she indicated how desperate she was for him to kiss her, he deepened his kisses.

  Millie felt as though a key had been turned that unlocked the feelings she had denied for so long. She felt as if she could finally admit how much she loved him because he wasn’t the man her sister had loved. She felt as if the barriers had been removed and she could finally show Reid how desperately she loved him.

  She met his kisses, matched them with a desperation of her own, and returned his passion with an unbridled need that knew no bounds. She loved him and wanted him to know the depth of her love.

  He pulled her closer to him and came over her. She twined her arm around his neck and held him. Emotions that she couldn’t explain raced through her. Passion so intense she couldn’t contain it churned inside her chest, then spun down to the pit of her stomach and lower.

  How could something as simple as a kiss have such an extraordinary effect on her emotions? How could the touching of two people’s lips cause such turmoil? Why did kissing someone you truly cared for make one want something more?

  Millie kissed Reid with a greater desperation than she’d ever felt in her life. She wanted nothing more than to stay in his arms like this forever. But somewhere in the back of her mind a noise from beyond the door disturbed her.

  Reid heard the voices before she did and ended their kiss.

  “Lord Strothum is here.”

  “Oh,” she said, brushing her hands over her hair to make sure it was in place.

  “Can you move to your chair?”