Last Man She'd Love

by Summerita Rhayne

  ‘Oh, I wish that when the wedding date is fixed, we might come and buy your bridal and groom side dresses too!’ Kalyani gushed.

  Savika echoed her sentiments and Lyna made some appropriate response. The wish had made her picture herself in the resplendent bridal lehanga that adorned the mannequin – and Guy’s reaction as she came down the lawn to where he awaited her for the jaimala, the traditional garland exchange ceremony. In a corresponding traditional wedding dress, he would be unable to take his eyes off her, staring rapt and totally captivated as she held his gaze and minced along, the heavily embroidered hem of her dress trailing over the grass…

  Savika and Kalyani were laughing at something. Savika had tried to get her attention and failed and the two exchanged glances and nudged each other at her absent mindedness.

  ‘Don’t fret, it’s okay to dream at this time!’ Kalyani chirped and they both snickered again.

  Jolted out of her reverie, Lyna stared down at her hands. Had she just allowed herself to get carried away over a wedding dress?

  Careful, it might begin to feel real.

  She wasn’t his bride. She was just his fake fiancée.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  All through dinner that evening, the talk bounced between this wedding ritual and that. It was as though the members had skipped from engagement to the wedding in a blink. Hina remained quiet. Dadu nodded to everything, looking pleased as punch. Feeling unsettled, after dinner, as everyone settled to watch a movie, she went out into the garden, trying to find a grip on things. The scent of cestrum, night blooming jasmine, intoxicating and heavy, mixed with that of rose and evoked mysterious longings. The moon shone down, making the green leaves look silver. She went to sit under a quadrangle shade erected at the end of a walkway, then stopped midway. Silhouetted against the slim pillar, half-hidden from her view by the trees was a dark familiar form.

  ‘Guy!’ she said breathlessly.

  Her errant mind had already imagined him a thousand times in the traditional wedding wear, embroidered sherwani and fitting lowers, the rich silk setting off his noble good looks. He would look like a prince, she thought. More mature and infinitely more dashing than he had looked in his portrait.

  ‘What took you so long?’ he drawled laconically.

  ‘So, this is how the princes lured the maids,’ she remarked. ‘This place must have been built for rendezvous of that kind. Did they wait here to meet the maid of their choosing in secret? Did you?’ she asked archly.

  ‘Well, maiden, you took your time getting here,’ he said, falling in with her rhetoric. With a lean finger, he lifted her chin, impersonating an offended royal personage. ‘Did you have to keep me waiting?’

  ‘I wasn’t given the hour, sir,’ she said demurely.

  ‘Don’t you know I waited every moment today for us to be alone?’

  The guttural whisper sent a shiver of delight raking down her spine. Make belief or reality? She tried to find reason, but his nearness had sent it skittering like a broken pearl strand let loose.

  She had to find some sense. He hadn’t promised her anything. She had asked him to deepen their understanding of each other and he hadn’t returned any answer. Hadn’t expressed what he wanted. She didn’t even know if the flirtation was all mockery and if he meant the kisses he had given her.

  She stood, searching for answers in his eyes.

  Guy looked down at her upturned face and frank gaze, aware that he should retreat. Both physically and emotionally.

  He’d bypassed her gentle invitation because he didn’t want to go there. He tried to resist the attraction, but every moment near her brought to him a fresh facet of her. He’d heard from Dadu of her gentle handling of Hina. He saw her laughter, her camaraderie with his half-sisters. Even Vinay had asked him twice today if Lyna had returned from shopping yet.

  She wrought magic in her quiet gentle way, that the chattering and sparkling women he knew had failed to.

  But he wasn’t looking for long term, he reminded himself. It was all here and now.

  He had to tell her that.

  But instead of any harsh declaration, all he could do was run the back of his fingers down the soft curve of her cheek and slip just a little deeper into desire on hearing the soft catch of her breath.

  His voice sounded oddly urgent. ‘It’s true. You know what’s there between us. When are we going to bring it out into open?’

  He caught hold of her hands, found them slender and soft. It was as though he couldn’t let go of her. If he did, something would come between them. He tried to shake it off, thinking the feeling ridiculous. But too many times, he had met with disappointment. He’d never looked for love, but even close friendship with a woman hadn’t nurtured because always there were expectations. Any time he got even a little bit serious, the women jumped to thinking about marriage. Little did they know that marriage with him would be far from what they imagined.

  He stood, fighting the feeling. As always, he must keep it light. Attraction. Nothing deeper. A corner of his mind mocked his efforts. But he wasn’t listening. Another voice warned him that he couldn’t complicate things with the woman he depended on to run his company. But now her hands were twined around his too and his mind did a jump into erotic fantasies that took the twining to a more physical level than the present.

  Lyna’s heart skipped a beat as his words confirmed all that she’d been uncertain about. In her innermost awareness, she had known it. She’d tried to deny it. It would be wrong, so wrong to admit her attraction to him. Wrong for herself. Not even the idiot Harish had this sort of mental and physical stimulating presence which made her feel so alive. With him, she’d known attraction, felt flattered, full of joy and swooning as though no one had experienced what she was experiencing. But this... She wasn’t a naive young girl now. Intuitively, she knew her feelings had that much more depth. It shouldn’t be less than love this time.

  She shook her head in denial. Guy, sardonic, never serious – she couldn’t like someone like him. Let alone love.

  ‘No?’ He’d seen the headshake even in the darkness. He stepped close. She found it hard to breathe even though he wasn’t touching her except her hands. ‘We have to start somewhere. This isn’t going to go away,’ he said in a low, all too sexy whisper.

  ‘It – we have to ignore whatever it is, because it would be stupid to have anything.’

  ‘But I want to be stupid.’ He stepped forward and she stepped back. He looked at her a moment and dropped his grip on her hands. ‘Like that, is it? I won’t touch you if you don’t want it.’

  Don’t want it? But she did. It must be the magic of the night. She wanted to make him stop and yet go on.

  ‘You really don’t want anything between us? Say the word, Lyna,’ he insisted.

  ‘You have never said anything about the way you feel.’

  ‘Haven’t I? Maybe not directly. Because of our official status. But haven’t I hinted so many times? Asking you to dump Brijesh. In the office, almost every time we meet...’

  ‘You were flirting. You flirt with every and any woman.’ She tried to keep the indignation out of her voice and keep it matter of fact.

  ‘Sorry, I gave you the wrong impression,’ he retracted immediately. ‘Maybe I didn’t know myself how far did I want to go with you. It took me a while to admit that I was attracted to you – you in your prim suits and with your cool eyes and even cooler manner – instead of the women decked up in all ways there are to catch my eye. Then whether to act on it – it was another story. Then we were involved in all this engagement thing. But then you said...’

  She waited. But he didn’t go there. She’d asked him they should spend time together...get to know each other.

  He said, ‘I won’t rush you – I don’t want to go where you don’t want to.’

  Was that a hint? A warning?

  Instead of cooling her off, why did the words merely act to increase her awareness?

  ‘You decide, Lyna. I wa
nt to touch you...kiss you mindless...possess you...’

  With every phrase, his voice dropped to a more intimate tenor. Each whisper was her undoing. Excitement made her legs shaky. She couldn’t utter a word. Afraid that her voice would betray her. As though her unsteady breathing already wasn’t letting him know how he affected her.

  ‘You are still getting used to the thought, aren’t you?’

  ‘I – I don’t treat sex lightly, Guy.’

  ‘Before you decide, you can sample what you are getting. I give you permission to touch me. Anywhere. However you like. You need not fear it calls for a similar permission from your side.’

  She gazed at him, unsure what he meant, whether he meant it. A ripple of unnatural excitement and freedom thudded through her. ‘What do you…’ How would that work?

  ‘I won’t touch you till you tell me to. You can,’ he invited.

  Against sense and reason, she put her hands on his chest, fingers spreading, feeling the rough texture of chest hair, the beat of his heart. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, offering her more. She ran her touch over him. It was party. Hard muscle beneath velvet skin. Her fingers moved lightly then more slowly down over his flat stomach. A devil made her wonder if she could have the daring to unbuckle his belt. Then she changed the direction to upward. The strong column of his neck. Then irresistibly, she was pulling herself up, clutching his shoulders. Letting her mouth reach up and press against his lips. Firm. Yet soft. Hearing his inhalation, letting the tip of her tongue run lightly against the inner side. She felt a tremor run through him and wondered how much could she tease him? But the urgency that made him tense had gripped her too.

  ‘Kiss me,’ she whispered.

  His hands closed on her, one holding her head, the other splaying against her back. She was propelled into a deluge of sensations. Awash with need she knew only he could evoke. His mouth melded with hers. Parting, joining again and again, each time with deeper fervor. She knew desire had risen too suddenly. She’d been concentrating on touching him, never knowing what her body was going through, but it let her know now as it writhed to seek closer contact with his. Shockingly, she knew she was fighting the urge to cast off the barriers of clothes and have him then and there.

  Somehow, she fought the tide of wanting...no, it was craving. Something which might make her lose sight of everything reasonable.

  That was how it worked.

  Cold fear made her regain control. She pulled away.

  He made no attempt to repeat the kiss, even though he was breathing hard. Regret swamped her. Followed by need and the pain of denial. His delicious body, ready for her, she knew, having felt how aroused it was.

  ‘That was ...awesome...don’t you agree?’ He might have control, but he wouldn’t have been human if he didn’t try. ‘It would be good between us. Nah, that must be the understatement of the year.’

  Before she went into his arms never to come back the same, she gathered her remaining resistance and walked away.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The days began to be fully occupied with the preparations of the party beginning in earnest. Hina, a thorough housekeeper, made sure everything should be spic and span and urged them all to go out of doors so she could have workmen in to take down curtains and dust the already spotless friezes and murals in the grand banquet hall.

  As a result, they were seen either picnicking or playing cricket with the youngsters.

  Their trip to nearby Matheran and Badlapur accomplished, they made their way to the lake near the palace. The younger Kalyan decided that he would like to practice climbing a coconut tree the way the natives did with the help of a cloth round the trunk and feet planted on it. He was fairly successful, at least in that no adult eye fell on him during his three meter vertical journey. Then Kalyani caught sight of him and let out such a shout that he tried to hurry up the tree to get out of range and ended up reversing quite differently from the way he had gone up.

  ‘Is that how you keep your eye on the kids?’ Kalyani raged, fussing over him to find if any bones were broken, though the way she felt all over him, gripping each section of limb with all her strength, she might easily have dislocated any joint as yet unharmed.

  ‘Well, they are naughty, and spoilt and you know who to blame for that,’ Mr. Kalyan didn’t hesitate to tell it like it was.

  They went on in the same manner while the poor kid wailed from his bruises. In the end, Kalyani had to promise him a trip to Disneyland next summer before he could be induced to get up.

  ‘Marriage!’ Guy said for her ears alone. ‘Who would want to get embroiled in this?’

  She would. The thought skipped across her brain, startling her so much she stared blankly at Guy for a moment.

  She wanted all that. She wanted to fight with him over kids, rant at him for not understanding her and have skirmishes over household matters...

  It was stupid and crazy and wishful thinking at its worst. The whole day the odd thought had her in its grip, making her absentminded and leaving her staring in an abstract way. She hadn’t even thought of marriage this time last year. She hadn’t planned on getting married. Brijesh had made her consent by making her an offer she couldn’t refuse. Then this fake engagement… Did she want to get married? She would have sworn never.

  Instead, she sat watching the kids playing, now all recovered from the fall and the resultant chaos, a wistful look stealing on her face as she became absorbed, not in their play, but in the thought of them.

  Guy didn’t help when he came upon her suddenly, handing her an ice cream cup.

  ‘Now if we were really married, I’d be so jealous of the kids to have you so intensely focused on them…’ He laughed, pulled her hair strand gently and went away to distribute the ices, distracting the kids from cricket.

  ‘Have you two talked about kids?’ Savika had heard Guy’s remark and shifted nearer to her, shading her eyes from the sun. ‘I know it’s too soon, I probably sound like a grandmother…but couples do discuss things, don’t they, if only to debate how to face contraceptive failure.’ She grinned. ‘Tell me to bug off if you want to.’

  ‘It’s such a big thing,’ Lyna said honestly. ‘Responsibilities. Kids. Such a big change.’

  ‘I know. To tell you the truth, I never felt like it. Then Sunil came along and somehow it happened. No, not contraceptive failure. We just began to feel like having them.’ Her gaze found her little ones and softened. ‘Yes, kids are a responsibility, but one smile from them takes away all the tiredness you feel. It’s magic. It’s rare. Precious. When love happens, you don’t get to have a say in it.’

  ‘True.’

  Kalyani came near and sat down on the grass with them. ‘What are you discussing, Savika?’

  ‘Kids! I’m motivating Lyna to have them.’

  ‘So soon? I mean, of course I know you mean after marriage – have you decided on a date yet, by the way – but even so…’ She watched Guy as he caught hold of the bat and taught Gautum to angle it. ‘I must say, I never thought of Guy as settling down type. Last I heard of his doings, I’d have bet with anyone, after that Sara thing, he wouldn’t –’

  ‘Shut up, Kalyani,’ said Savika.

  ‘Oh, she works for him. I’m sure Lyna knows more about him than even we do. I do think people who work together suit so well. They won’t be blind to each other’s faults, for one thing.’

  ‘Honestly, sometimes I think you’re just like Mummy,’ Savika snapped.

  ‘What’s wrong with that? She’s taken good care of us, hasn’t she? But if I have said something… well, don’t mind, Lyna. I’m so happy to have you here. I wouldn’t want to say anything to offend you.’

  ‘That’s better,’ Savika approved.

  Out in the ground, Guy hooked a sixer. Kids celebrated by jumping up and down. Handing over the bat to Gautum, he began to walk towards where they were seated. The two sisters got up and drifted away. Lyna caught a snippet of Kalyani’s conversation, carried over the wind.
>
  ‘...as a matter of fact it was Mummy who told me about Sara. She was so in love with him, she threatened all sorts of things and Mummy thought he should...’ The rest was lost as they walked further on.

  Guy got stopped midway by the kids, again begging him to show them to bat a sixer.

  There was no opportunity to talk then or later when they returned home dusty and tired and barely in time for dinner. The young mothers rushed their kids upstairs to bathe and change, Dadu who was descending by the same stairway, ranting at them that they’d be surely late for dinner. As a result, quiet reigned over dinner. The kids started yawning midway through the meal, evoking another rant from Dadu who glowered at them, till Guy said abruptly, ‘It’s just a yawn, Dadu, they haven’t broken the crystal.’

  His grandfather glanced at him from beneath his eyebrows. ‘Are you making the children turn into rebels? They should know how to behave at the table.’

  ‘Jashith, I agree. There was no call for you to oppose your grandfather.’

  Almost before he spoke, Lyna expected Dadu to back down and wasn’t surprised when he said, ‘That’s enough, Hina. Looks like we’ll be sitting here discussing kids all night. I have no interest what you people are teaching the next generation, except they shouldn’t turn rowdy,’ he informed Guy with a superior air.