First Kiss (Heavy Influence)

by Frohoff, Ann Marie

  “I’m just surprised to hear it,” she said, tersely. “He didn’t mention it.”

  “I just talked to him, Mom.” I replied, agitated. I couldn’t help but shake my head. “Speak of the devil.”

  We could hear the front door shut and Notting calling out for my mom – “Hello Katie love, surprise.”

  “There you are,” he said, making a beeline for my mom. “And you too, I see.” He looked over at me with his sly smile then focused back on my mother. “Good morning, my dear.”

  Notting greeted my mother with his refined English accent, planting a kiss on her forehead. He was a smooth operator, the textbook English gentleman if you ignored all the tats etched up and down his arms. He was a lifelong family friend. He’d been our rock since dad died all those years ago. He’s as close to a father figure as I’d get, and I totally dug him. If I had to have a guy role model, I was glad it was him. I felt sorry for him, he was madly in love with my mother, and I knew she loved him too; but for some reason she wouldn’t take things to the next level. She wouldn’t let him stay over, ever. I knew it had to do with me, her trying to set some sort of an example.

  My mother’s relationship with Notting was something that always gnawed at me, too. I always attempted to write a song about her, letting go of someone that was no longer there. She needed to let go of the past, but wouldn’t. The guys would think that was lame too, I thought. Not rock or punk enough or whatever they always thought. Mike was the one who always had a negative opinion. I was sick of him. I didn’t want to sing about shit that was meaningless to me anymore. I didn’t care if those songs got us to where we we’re at. Bottom line, it was time to move forward. I wanted to broaden my range musically and lyrically…more melodic. I wanted to play around with more sounds. I wanted new pedals. I wanted our guitars to fill the space with more intricacy and texture.

  “I’ll be in the garage, whenever you’re ready, Notting,” I said. Looking my mother in the eyes, I walked away without saying anything to her. She irritated me with her overbearing hovering.

  “What, I’m not invited?” Kate said miffed.

  “No, you’re not,” I paused, but kept walking. “I’ll tell you everything later.”

  I shouted and let the door slam behind me. I hit the garage door opener and it lifted with its familiar squeaking and gyrating, walking out into the sunlight I glanced over at Aly’s house wondering if she was inside.

  “Alright mate, let’s get to it,” Notting said loudly coming out of the house and into the garage. He pulled over a nearby stool, slapping his knees.

  My hands started to sweat as I walked back into the garage. I couldn’t believe I was going to talk – girls – with my surrogate father. Basically no matter how you sliced it, that’s what it was about, not music.

  “Ok, how do you suggest I approach telling the guys that I want to switch it up, like permanently?” I asked, trying to avoid the subject as long as I could.

  “This new song, have you played it for them?”

  “Yes.”

  “And? Did you ask for their feedback? It’s not rocket science.” He shrugged, chuckling.

  “Yeah, well, they were actually pretty positive. But this is the first song I’ve written without their input.” I said anxiously. “I’ve also been listening to a lot of 80’s new wave tunes. I have to admit, you grew up in a pretty rad music decade, so many ass-kicking UK bands, it’s crazy.”

  “Those were quite possibly the best years of my life. That’s when I met your mother…” His voice trailed off in thought. I could tell he was reliving the moment. This was the first time I got it. What she meant to him. Maybe someday I’d ask about it. He finally continued, focusing back on me. “Perhaps if you’d admit to why you want to make changes they would understand. Honesty goes a long way.” Notting crossed his arms. “Do as I suggested and sit them down, like you have with me. They might possibly make what you’ve demo’d better, improving upon it. With Dump, he is in something with that Sienna, I’m sure he’ll understand more than you think.”

  I took in a deep breath sighing out loudly. “Yeah, I suppose.”

  “Now, on to this girl whose inspired you, your muse? Enlighten me please.”

  “You remember Aly, right?”

  “Vaguely. I do recall a young girl several years back with long brown hair and an infectious laugh. This is the same girl?”

  “Yeah, that’s her.”

  “Ok, so you’re writing songs about her?” Notting said a bit surprised.

  “Things have been pretty… intense. You know, with Rachel and everything.” I paused, trying to figure out which way to take the conversation.

  Notting took the pressure off.

  “So Rachel is no longer in the picture, huh? I’m curious as to how she took that.” He chuckled again. “She was pretty obsessive about taking care of you. Regardless of her motivations, she’s been there for you and the band, Jake.”

  “Ugh, don’t remind me, Notting. She’s in love with me, apparently,” I said, shrugging. “I don’t feel the same way, and now it’s totally effed things up, that’s what I meant when I said – intense.”

  Notting Frowned. “Jake, you make this right. I don’t need to know the details, but Rachel’s been around for a long time.”

  “What’s that suppose to mean?” I asked, getting pissed. “I can’t help it if I’m falling for someone else. For me, we were always just friends. I made the mistake of hooking up with her, man. I didn’t realize it would be such a big deal. She thought because we hooked up, that meant we’d become official or something like that. I fucked up.”

  “I’ll say you did.” He affirmed with his brows knitting together. “Whoa, well son, you certainly have something to deal with.”

  We sat silent. I didn’t know what else to say. I felt relieved it was out in the open. Now it just had to heal, I thought, tapping a drumstick on the bench wondering if I’d see Aly later.

  Notting’s voice broke the silence.

  “You must take care, do you hear me? I’ve kept quiet because you were younger and I have to admit I was turning a blind eye to what may have been going on. However, now that we’re on subject, and you’ve professed your feelings for this Aly, I just hope you use better judgment than you’ve used with Rachel. Aly is young and impressionable. I believe it would be more disastrous to enter into anything too serious with her.”

  My stomach dropped. It was too late to end anything. I couldn’t control my feelings for Aly. I was at a loss for words and over talking to him. I didn’t need him lecturing me about what I was already acutely aware of.

  “Don’t worry. I know what needs to happen with Aly,” I said in finality. I got up and headed toward the door, back into the house. “I need to take a piss.”

  I lied. No wonder kids didn’t talk to their parents, it was a fucking downer, like they forgot what it was like to be young or in love. I stood still in the middle of my room. Did I just admit to being in love?

  My hands tingled.

  25

  Alyssa

  I was in the middle of the loveliest Jake dream, when I was awakened by a door slamming and my sisters muffled rant about who knows what. It was 9:15 a.m. and the air was too warm and thick. I kicked off the covers and let the breeze of the ceiling fan roll over me. Lying there I tried to make out my sisters words. She must be on the phone with either my mother or her boyfriend. My eyes were gooey. I glanced at my window and could see through the cracks in the window shade that it was sunny, no marine layer to deflect the heat today. It would be another day lounging by the pool and I was getting sick of it. I was sick of watching Nadine and Chris play kissy face and Nicole and Grant disappearing to be alone. Matt seemingly fell off the face of the earth when he found out about Jake and I still felt terrible about how it all went down.

  Lying there thinking of the dreams I’d been having of Jake embarrassed me. I never knew I could dream such dreams. He consumed me all night long, and it all seemed so real. W
aking up dripping with emotion was driving me crazy. Jake had been in the studio until two every morning, and we hadn’t seen each other in days.

  I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. I could picture Jake sprawled out on his bed, lying on his stomach with one arm under the pillow and one leg bent out to the side. I wondered if his back door was unlocked and what he would think if snuck over and woke him up. It gave me chills just thinking about it. He called me his muse in the last text he sent at twelve-thirty a.m. I would never delete any of the messages for the rest of my life. I even took screen shots and emailed them to myself, silly I know, but I couldn’t help myself.

  I grabbed my phone and read them over again to remind myself they were real.

  ***

  My brother was chilling in front of the TV catching up on Entourage in the adjacent family room. I shuffled over to the fridge and took out the strawberries and rinsed them off in the sink. The cool water ran over my hands and felt refreshing. It was already way too warm in our house. I stared at the back fence in a daze, watching the leaves on the bushes rustle in the breeze. The swimming pool shimmered catching my eye and I daydreamed I was wrapped around Jake in the cool water.

  My daydream screeched to a halt when Kyle’s voice broke in. “Hey!” he shouted at me and I jumped. “Hello, turn off the water, we’re in a drought.”

  “Oh, shut up!” I spat playfully, stuffing a strawberry in my mouth, glaring at him for scaring me.

  I wondered where he’d been. I hadn’t seen him in days. “Where have you been lately?”

  I noticed he was a little tanner than he normally was.

  He picked up the remote pausing his pre-recorded show on the DVR and stared at me blankly. “Now what do you want?”

  “What have you been doing this week, you look tan, Mr. Non-beach-goer.”

  “If you must know, yes, I have been going to the beach.”

  “Really.” I said marveling in exaggeration. “Who paid you and how much?”

  “I don’t mind going to the beach.”

  “Alright, who is she. It has to be because of a girl.” I snickered.

  I loved teasing him.

  He ignored me.

  “Want some strawberries?”

  I obnoxiously held the bowl right in front of his face.

  “Yes…thank you,” He said grabbing the bowl out of my hand.

  I contemplated telling Kyle about Jake. I wanted him to go to the party with me on Saturday, if I was with him my sister would have to suck on it. If Kyle knew, it would kick her off her soapbox. I watched my loving yet annoying big brother eat my strawberries. He was coming into his own good looks. I’d never thought of him as good looking, probably because he was my brother, but yes, he was definitely cute. I could see how a girl could like him. He was kind and thoughtful. A “nerd” in my book who only sported polo shirts but whatever, I knew I could trust him.

  “Kyle, there’s something I wanna tell you,” I paused. “But you have to swear on your life you won’t tell mom or dad.”

  He stopped chewing mid-mouthful looking over at me. “Uh oh.”

  “Well, um, I guess there’s no other way to say it. I’ve been seeing Jake.” I admitted and just like in the movies, Kyle started choking.

  “What!” he exclaimed. “Aly, please tell me you’re kidding!” He continued coughing, trying to clear his throat.

  “Why?” I whispered loudly putting my hand over his mouth.

  Kyle collected himself as I waited for his reply.

  “Aly, you gotta know what he’s all about, right?”

  “Yes!” I said loudly, “I’m not an effing idiot!” I got up and grabbed the bowl out of his hand and huffed into the kitchen. His response wasn’t what I expected.

  “Woah, Aly, come on, I’m just looking out for you…”

  “Yeah, whatever, that’s what Allison said too and I don’t need to hear it from you either!”

  “Hey, calm down,” He said walking into the kitchen. “So, Allison knows and you’re worried about me telling mom and dad?”

  “She’s not going to say anything. I got dirt on her. She doesn’t know I know though, I prolly should make sure she does though, before she screws me.”

  “What dirt? I got dirt too.” He raised his eyebrows, humming a silly dooms-day sound.

  “It’s probably the same dirt,” I said smiling. “Is it those late night rendezvous with Owen?”

  “Yep.” We both laughed. “She’s an idiot to think that none of us wouldn’t notice him creeping around in the middle of night. It’s a matter of time before mom or dad catch them.”

  “Whatever, I don’t care. I just don’t need her threatening me.”

  Kyle cocked his head and his eyes narrowed in on me. “Tell me what you mean that you’re seeing Jake.”

  “We’ve been hanging out the last couple of weeks, and we both really like each other.”

  “Isn’t he seeing Rachel what’s her face?”

  “No, and he never was, they’re just friends.”

  “He told you he likes you? Or are you just assuming he likes you because he’s nice to you?

  I sighed. “Kyle, he’s told me way more than that. We were at a party together last weekend…”

  “What?” he cried out. “You went to a party?”

  “Yeah, that’s when Allison found out, she caught me there, with Jake. A whole bunch of drama with this Rachel chick went down and it was crazy,” I confessed. “That hoe bag pushed me into the pool.”

  “Wait, you were at a party with Jake?” he asked again, stuck on the impossibility of it all. “And he was with you? In front of everyone else?”

  “Yes. He held me, kissed me and introduced me to people.” I shrugged, trying not to come off too excited even though I could have shot to the moon.

  “Wow.” He leaned against the counter in complete shock.

  “That seems to be everyone’s reaction,” I said, “which is kind of a bummer, like I’m not worthy or something.”

  “Hey, that’s not it, it’s just, well, you’re always in a bubble with your little click of friends and I just want you to be careful… ‘cause I don’t wanna have to try and kick his ass or anything,” Kyle teased. “Jake’s an alright guy. I guess he just gets a bad rap because he’s in a band…you know chicks, drugs…rock and roll. You know they go together like mint and chip.”

  I couldn’t love my brother more than at that moment.

  “So have you heard anything bad?” I wanted more of his perspective.

  “Actually no, no I haven’t, that’s what I mean by a bad rap. I’ve seen him hanging with chicks at parties, but at school, he’s totally low profile. Rachel was always around though.”

  “Huh, sounds like you know a lot for being the quiet one,” I jabbed, playfully.

  Kyle winked at me. I was relieved with the way our conversation went. Now I had to ask him to take me to the party. Ugh, the way he dressed would laugh us out the front door. He so needed a makeover, desperately. The only problem was he didn’t have anyone to borrow cool clothes from. Did guys even do that?

  “I have an idea Kyle,” I said pausing for theatrics. “What do you say about taking this girl you won’t tell me about to a party this Saturday?”

  I batted my eyes at him with a crafty grin and he looked at me sideways.

  “Would this be a party that Jake’s gonna be at? Just give it to me straight, Aly.” He crossed his arms to his chest.

  “Yes, it is, and it’s at Rachel’s, and he’s playing. This is the first time I’ll see the band play live, and if I’m not there I’ll just die, you just have to take me.” I rambled on, pleading.

  I stood there with my hands praying underneath my chin, looking as pathetic as I could.

  “Please,” I begged, whimpering.

  Kyle contemplated, rubbing his chin. “On one condition, if I want to leave you’ll have to leave too,” he said. “No matter what. I don’t care if Jake says he’ll take you home.”

  �
��Ahhh!” I screamed. I launched at myself him, hugging him. “You are the most awesome brother ever!”

  “Stop!” he said pushing me off of him. “I’ll look pretty cool taking Chelsea,” he said. “Plus, with my little sis seeing the most popular guy in school, this may just seal the deal.”

  God he was such a dork.

  “Oh, so you’re using me?” I playfully accused.

  “Uh, I think you were using me first.”

  I laughed. “I love you!”

  I ran up the stairs and into my room and frantically searched my bed covers for my phone. I was electrified by excitement and couldn’t wait to tell Nicole and Nadine.

  - KYLE SAYS HE’LL TAKE US TO THE PARTY ON SATURDAY –

  I waited anxiously for what seemed like 15 minutes, finally Nicole replied.

  - AWESOME, CHRIS SAYS HE WAS PLANNING ON TAKING US THOUGH, HE’S STILL SEEING NADINE. CAN U BELIVE IT? –

  I wanted her to dish!

  - SPEAKING OF, WE NEED TO TALK, R U ALONE? CAN I COME OVER? –

  - YEP, COME OVER –

  - CALL NADINE, TELL HER TOO, I WANT THE SCOOP -

  - NO, I’LL GIVE YOU THE SCOOP, JUST COME NOW, GRANT MIGHT BE HERE SOON -

  I rushed to get ready. Running down the stairs I screamed out to Kyle to text me when mom got home and that he and I were going shopping.

  “What do you mean, you and I are going shopping?!”

  “Your polo’s aren’t making an appearance, Kyle!” I hollered, stepping out the door. “And we need to do something about your hair!”

  I rushed down the street as quickly as I could toward Nicole’s when I spotted my friend Marshall, in his driveway, looking way too fashionable to be washing his brother’s car. I hadn’t spoken to him since Grant chased him away with his immature teasing two weeks prior. As I approached he noticed and a smile spread across his beautiful, flawless face. His funky, usually coifed hair was pulled back in a silver headband.

  I envied his thick hair.