“When Aly gets in here you better find Jake and tell him he needs to leave,” he said, leaning into me so no one else would hear. He was on something, I could tell because his eyes were dilated. My insides grew stiff and I wondered if Scott was a partier like that. I watched Mike for a moment more closely and he took out his phone from his back pocket. “She’s here, I’m gonna grab her.”
I shook my head as Mike left us.
Scott came closer to me with a crafty grin peaking at the edge of his lips. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a flask. “Want some?”
“Absolutely,” I said and I surprised myself by kissing him and his lips felt nicer than they did the first time. We lingered close for a moment longer and I reached over grabbing the flask out of his hand. “I’ll take a little of this, too.”
“Are you gonna introduce your friend?”
Jake’s voice reverberated through my ears and Scott turned to face him. I was in an altered universe and I could barely eek out an introduction. “Hey, yeah, this is Scott Hutchinson.”
“Sup, man. I’m Jake.” He nodded, casually and smiled mildly.
Jake barely looked at me and at that moment I realized that he surely would never be what Scott already was to me. Scott was one hundred percent into me, more than Jake ever was in our entire relationship.
“Wait, I know you. You’re in that band. Rita’s Revolt, right?”
“Yeah.” A smile jumped to Jake’s lips. “That’s it.”
“You guys played at my school last year when I was a senior at PV.”
“Cool.” Jake blinked plainly obvious his mind was on something else and looked at me. “I’m looking for Bobby, he said he was here, have you seen him.”
If things couldn’t get more dramatic, “They’re right behind you.”
Then Mike and Aly came in the room from around the corner.
“Oh shit here we go.” I whispered to Scott.
Scott’s eyes grew wide. “Jake’s your ex?”
“Something like that, yeah.” I murmured.
The tension in the room grew tight as Mike stared down Jake. Aly wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone by Marshall. She was in way over her head and I actually identified with her. I no longer saw her as the opposition. Jake ignored Mike, not an iota of an acknowledgement. He just stared at Aly and smiled, smugly. “I guess this is my exit. You know, before one of you call the cops and all.”
“Yeah, you wouldn’t wanna fuck up your probation.” Mike snarled.
Jake turned a death stare onto Mike and pointed viscously in his face. “Fuck you, asshole.”
Aly glanced at Mike and alarm filled her eyes. She grabbed his arm in a silent plea to let Jake’s attack slide. I looked at Jake for his reaction and his eyes narrowed on Aly’s hand on Mike’s arm. It’s as if we were all in a bubble, frozen for a moment in time. I waited for someone to throw the first punch. Scott squeezed my hand, urging me to say something.
“I don’t need this shit going down in my house people.” I tugged at Scott’s hand and he held it tight as I led him away from the spectacle. We rounded the corner into an empty hallway. “I’m sorry. Maybe some day I’ll share the entire story.”
Jake came up behind us. “I’m outta here. Happy fucking New Year.”
I gripped Jake’s arm as he passed. “Please don’t go. It’s New Year’s Eve. I’ll talk to Mike.”
“Rachel, I don’t want to be here. No offense. I just wanted to say hey to everyone. I have a another party to go to anyway,” he said, pulling away from me.
“Really?” I questioned skeptically. “Whose the lucky girl?” I teased him, not expecting him to really have anywhere to go.
“Eva James. She’s having a party at the SoHo House.”
My stomach hit the floor. It never occurred to me that Jake would ever have anything else going on. I told Scott I’d be right back and went searching for Mike to tell him that Jake left and ran into him as I went out into the backyard. The music was thumping and he yelled in my ear.
“Did Jake leave?”
I nodded yes and regarded the crowd and their happy, drunk faces. I pulled out my phone and took pictures of the crowd. I turned, wrapping my arm around Mike’s shoulder, pressing our faces together. “Say cheese!” I yelled and held out the camera phone and the flash blinded me. “Where’s Aly?”
“She went inside with Marshall.” He shook his head. “You’re sure Jake left?”
“Yes, apparently he’s going to see Eva James! As in he’s seeing her, he’s going to her party!”
“The singer?” He asked, doubtful.
“Yeah!” I said, enthusiastically.
“Thanks for the info,” he paused, nodding, considering his next words. Mike leaned in closer to me. “Hey, can we use your room?”
I backed away and chuckled a bit. “Yeah, but for what? Whose we?” I asked, curious. Wondering if he was gonna get high and who with. “Aly and I, so we can be alone.”
“You can use one of the guest rooms.” I directed Mike and turned to leave. I pushed my way through the crowd, looking for Scott. I decided I couldn’t worry anymore about any of them.
Just as I found Scott and his friends in the same spot I’d left them, Sienna came through the door into the kitchen. “Rachel! Is your friend here?” She winked and strutted toward me.
I shushed her, frowning. “Stop it!” I giggled and looked over my shoulder to see if Scott heard her. “He’s right over there, the tall blond.” I pointed, discretely, over my shoulder.
“Ahh,” she said in a low voice. “He’s cute.”
“Yeah, he’s so unconcerned about anything too. Super mellow. I like him.” I admitted. “Wanna meet him?”
I turned pulling at Sienna’s hand and Mike stopped me. I sighed, irritated. Aly was standing behind him. “What now?”
“Where’s the vodka?”
“Hold on,” I said, tritely to Sienna, rolling my eyes at Mike and then at Aly. She was too close to me and I didn’t like it. “Come on.”
I walked into the empty dining area and opened the hutch, grabbing the half full bottle of Grey Goose vodka. I watched as Mike filled two red cups.
“Thanks,” he slurred.
“Can you hurry?” I tapped my foot and leaned against the wall.
Mike stopped pouring and grabbed the bottle top from the dining table and slowly screwed it back on. He stared long and hard at me as if he was mad at me. “You know, this whole thing was your idea.”
I sighed heavily. “Are we gonna go through this again?”
He licked his lips and his face twisted wickedly, chuckling. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little packet of pills. “This is it. This is the end. The story stops here. Sorry you didn’t get what you wanted, but I’m getting what I want.”
I expected him to pop the pill in his mouth, but instead he cracked it open, pouring its contents into one of the cups and stirred it with his finger. “What are you doing?” I asked, troubled, knowing exactly what he was doing, but hoping I was wrong.
“It’s just a little something to help her relax. She keeps telling me she’s nervous.”
“Mike, you can’t give her that.” I insisted. “She’s already relaxed enough, she’s drunk.”
Mike tried to move past me and I stepped in front of him. He turned and placed the cups back on the table and to my horror he pushed me against wall by my neck, breathing his boozy bad breath in my face. “I’m so sick of your shit, Rachel.” He whispered, close to my ear and released me. “You fucking started this, with your whining and crying about Jake and how you wanted to get him back. Don’t you fucking stand in my way.”
He pushed me hard in the chest as he backed away. I stood frozen afraid he’d come at me again. Not another word came out of my mouth as he vanished into the kitchen. I panicked, but tried to compose myself, wondering if he left red marks on my neck. I didn’t want to make a commotion, but the tears began to swell and Sienna came through the doorway catching me near
hysterics.
“What the fuck did he do?” Sienna growled. She quickly came to my side and handed me a cloth napkin from the dining table.
I dabbed the napkin under my eyes, trying to stop my tears. “He put something in the drink he made for Aly and when I tried to stop him he fucking nearly choked me!” I touched my neck. “Is my neck red?”
“Just a little pink, no one will notice,” she said, turning my chin from side to side to get a better view. “He’s really fucked up…”
“I don’t want him to get more violent or something,” I said interrupting her and moved to the doorway to see if I could spot them, and I did. Aly was sipping on the drink Mike made her. “Shit, Sienna, this is bad. I don’t want this shit going down in my house.”
“Dude, if you call the cops, your parents could get in trouble. You want me to go get Dump?”
I hit my fists against my thighs in frustration. “Why! Why the hell does shit always go wrong! I finally meet a boy, he’s here and I should be with him! Not worrying about this shit! And that little life ruiner…she’s still ruining my life!!” I yelled, gesturing in Aly’s direction. “Are you kidding me? She shouldn’t even be here.”
During my meltdown, Sienna moved to the doorway and stood looking, watching for who knows what. “They’ve disappeared.”
“Shit!” I ran to the other side of the dining room and ran into a bunch of people I didn’t know and I caught Aly and Mike ascending the stairs. Aly was clearly propped up by Mike as he helped her up each step. I turned to Sienna and my eyes said it all.
“Call Jake.” She directed, firmly. “He’ll take care of it.”
“He doesn’t give a shit anymore, Sienna. He’s on his way to be with that Eva James bitch! You know…I’m just not gonna give a shit, this isn’t my problem.” I ranted and pushed past her, but she grabbed my arm.
“He does give a shit, Rachel. They’ve been seeing each other for months now, under the radar.”
All the sound from the room disappeared and I felt like I was burning from the inside out. “What?” I shouted and everyone in the vicinity looked at me, waiting to hear more. I yanked her up the stairs and practically tripped over group of girls I didn’t know. “If I don’t know you, you don’t belong up here!” I growled, and pointed down the stairs. One of them whispered – “bitch.” Under normal circumstances I’d kick their asses out but that battle wouldn’t be fought tonight.
“Rachel, I’m sorry, but Dump wants to stay out of it, and I…”
“I would never, in a million years, keep something like that from you.” I shook my head in disgust. “Dump can stay out of whatever he wants, Sienna. You’re supposed to be my best friend!”
“I didn’t want to be an influence to this anymore.” She shrugged, looking around uncomfortable. “We’re graduating soon, Rachel. I don’t need the drama anymore, and neither do you.” Sienna’s eyes flashed with sadness. “I’m sorry. I should have said something…but come on.” She pointed anxiously at the door to the room where Mike and Aly were. “You have to do something. Mike’s a loser, Rachel. Aly, no matter what, doesn’t deserve this.”
As much as I wanted Aly to swallow the most jagged horse pill ever, I knew Sienna was right. I had to do something. I took my phone from my back pocket and called Jake, he didn’t answer so I sent a text.
53
Alyssa
I was happy Jake left, but all I could think about was how beautiful he looked and how Eva James, of all people, would be all over him. Playing the game we’d made up was hard. It was difficult pretending the longer it went on.
Eva James. I never asked how she happened, and all I could do was either push it from my mind or dream up all the intimate scenarios that her and Jake would be in. I just knew it went on. I centered my mind on Mike and his qualities. His bright green eyes, even though they were glossed over from intoxication, pulled me in. I felt like I was floating. I’d hardly ever drunk anything but beer, and the vodka drink Mike prepared tasted refreshing. Before I knew it, the harshness of knowing Jake was spending New Years Eve with someone else began to fade.
Mike’s hands felt warm and soothing as our fingers mingled together. “How you feelin’?” he asked, curiously. His little smirk made my insides flutter. I wondered if I was starting to really like him. His skin felt like velvet under my fingertips, it felt so good beneath my hands I slid them up under his jacket and shirt, feeling his back. There were many qualities I admired in him, his edge and brevity, he was self-assured and so different than Jake. Mike was a true rebel, not a fake one, like Jake. Not that Jake was exactly fake, but people thought of him as a rebel because of their own perceptions, not because of facts. Nope, Mike with his homegrown tattoos and his ripped jeans and motorcycle boots. He was old school, like something out of a James Dean movie. I was curious about him and wondered if he had other tattoos in places I couldn’t see.
He wasn’t gentle like Jake, but not rough either. He held me secure and deliberate. “You feeling ok?” he whispered, and kissed my cheekbone.
“Yeah, I feel excellent.” I giggled. His lips were moist as they pressed lightly again on my neck. I felt instant guilt as I looked into his eyes. Not because of Jake, but because I knew he really liked me. I mean he had to, right? He made such an effort to hang out with me all these months. I could at least give him one night of making out. Jake was, after all, doing the same thing with Eva. The thought of her name made her pretty face made my insides burn.
I kissed Mike for the first time. He felt bulky in his leather jacket. “Take this off,” I said tugging at his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders. “Your skin is so soft.” I kept rubbing the contours of his arms.
His tongue slipped into my mouth, mingling with mine. His motions were more aggressive than Jake’s. I pulled away and he twirled me around and sat on the bed. He pulled me down on top of him. “You’re beautiful. But you know that.”
Huh? My brain fought between rationalizations and feeling things I’d not experienced. I was completely wasted, but it all felt both extreme and remarkable.
His rugged hands rubbed up my back and down to my butt, every squeeze felt intense and pleasing. His warmth enveloped me and I playfully hit his chest and rolled off, lying next to him. “But I know that? What’s that supposed to mean?” He didn’t answer me.
I rubbed at the blanket beneath my hand. It was the softest blanket I’d ever felt. I reached up and touched Mike’s face, feeling the rough stubble at his jawline. It felt like sand paper as it brushed against my skin, so unlike Jake. I ran my hands through his hair and pulled his face to mine. I was wishing he was Jake and I kissed him, again. I felt heavier and heavier. Like I was melting. I wanted Jake. I wanted Mike to be Jake. Mike kissed me harder, more forceful and I tried pushing him away, but I didn’t know if my arms were working. I tried to speak and I didn’t know if he was hearing my words.
I couldn’t do this, unless it was Jake. I told him to stop, but it all came out jumbled. I felt fear rise inside me. I was too fucked up to let this happen, but I couldn’t move. I felt tugging at my jeans, but didn’t feel I had the strength to move. I couldn’t open my eyes and I felt pressure on top of me and then voices, and yelling. Female voices. I tried to raise my head and everyone was floating. I tried to move and slipped off the bed onto the floor. Someone picked me up and I struggled to stay focused when I thought I heard Jake’s voice. There was more shouting and two bodies went flying onto the bed and onto the floor. Glass broke somewhere and more yelling echoed in my head. I collapse at someone’s feet and grabbed at myself. I didn’t have a shirt on.
I didn’t know where I was.
***
I woke up in my bed and froze inside when I saw my sister was lying next to me. My mouth felt like I had a wad of tissues stuffed in it. My tongue was as dry as a piece of cardboard and my head throbbed like nothing I’d ever felt in my life. I moved to get up.
“Hey,” Allison said softly. She rubbed at my arm and I fell back again
st the pillows. I began to cry.
“Oh my god, Allison.” I sobbed and grabbed the pillow, stuffing my face into it. “I need water.”
Allison got up and grabbed the small bottle of Arrowhead off my dresser, handing it to me. I unscrewed the top as the tears spilled down my cheeks. She sat silent, her brow knitted with concern as she watched me sip and cry. I sipped more and cried harder. I cried for at least five minutes with my head buried in my pillow. Finally she spoke.
“Do you remember anything?”
“Not really, well, kinda. Just flashes,” I sniveled. “Does mom know? What about dad? Oh God, please…”
“Yes, they both know and …” she paused, rubbing my leg that was buried under my covers. “Jake’s in jail, again…and so is Mike.”
“Oh my God!” I sobbed harder. “Jake probably hates me.”
“No. He doesn’t.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“No, but dad did.”
The next few days were a blur of worry on my mother’s part, silence on my father’s part and endless support from my sister. My dad barely said a word to me other than asking if I was ok when he poked his spec’d head into my room. I couldn’t even look at him. I wanted to die. My sister did most of the speaking for me. As far as I was concerned, this entire thing was my dad’s fault.
Marshall was the only one I allowed into my room and he told me every painfully embarrassing detail, it’s as if each word burned a mark into my skin. “Aly, it was the most insane thing I’d ever witnessed in my entire life…and then when I saw you being held up with only your bra and undies on, I just lost it… you had black eye-makeup smeared all over your face and it was just awful!” He went on and on and all I could think of was Jake seeing me that way and thinking I’d screwed Mike.
Seemingly that night, Nadine and Nicole arrived to the party after Mike disappeared with me. Nadine confronted Rachel when she’d heard rumors of Mike and I. Nadine pushed Rachel around and they began to fight, and Jake and Mike basically had a nuclear meltdown. He said it’d gotten so out of control and when he heard yelling about Mike drugging me and saw me nearly naked, he dialed 911. “I didn’t mean for Jake to be thrown in Jail too, I wanted Mike to pay for what he did do you…not realizing about Jake’s troubles.”
First Kiss (Heavy Influence) Page 37