“No.” He stood, reaching his hand out to me. “Come on, off the floor.”
I slapped his hand away, standing on my own power and scowling at him. “Give me back my key.”
He smirked. “No.”
“Give me my goddamn key, Tristan.”
“No.” He walked to the fridge and opened it, grabbing a beer and twisting off the top. “Why were you on the floor?”
“Give me my key,” I ordered.
“No.” He lifted the bottle to his lips, but before he could take a swig, I slapped it out of his hand and it fell to the floor, glass shattering amongst the sudsy beverage. “Jesus, Liv, what the fuck!”
“Give me my goddamn key,” I screeched, raising my arms to hit him.
He grabbed my wrists gently, pushing them behind my back and securing them there, meeting my eyes with his as I glared at him. “I’m not giving you that key, sweetness, so quit askin’. And quit actin’ like you don’t know I have it. You’re lookin’ for a fight and I’m not in the mood to give it to you, so we can fuck if you want, but I’m not risin’ to the bait of a fight.”
I stared at him for a few tense seconds and then I covered his lips with mine, shoving my tongue in his mouth, my pussy suddenly needing his cock inside of me. He lifted me so I could wrap my legs around his waist and carried me back to my bedroom, kissing me as he walked.
Setting me on my feet, he turned me away from him and lifted my skirt, ripping my panties from my hips and shoving his hand between my legs. I whimpered with need, bending over the bench at the end of my bed as his fingers pressed inside of me.
I heard the jingle of his belt buckle as he undid his jeans and then his dick was inside of me and he was ramming so hard I had to brace myself to keep upright.
“You wanna fight, Liv?” he demanded, his palm landing hard on my ass.
“Fuck you, asshole,” I ground out, pressing back against him.
I could hear the smile in his voice as he rasped, “With pleasure, baby.”
He slammed into me again and slapped my ass, and I came so hard, I screamed his name and my arms shook as I tried to stay anchored to the bench.
“Don’t move, Olivia,” he ordered, continuing to bury himself deep.
“You need to hurry up, honey. I seriously think I’m going to fall over.”
He didn’t disappoint, coming quickly, then gently sliding out and pulling me up against him. “Today was tough.”
I nodded into his chest, not trusting my voice.
“You feel better?” he asked.
I nodded again.
“I’m gonna go clean up the beer and grab my shit, then we’ll make dinner, okay?”
“Grab your shit?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He buttoned his jeans and belt. “I brought a couple changes of clothes. I’m stayin’ here.”
“Oh, you are, are you?”
He slid his hand to my neck and studied me. “I told you I’m not gonna fight with you today. I need you as much as you need me, and you know it. Today was both awesome and hard, but tomorrow’s gonna be shit and you’re the only one who fully understands why.”
Tomorrow was the anniversary of Mandi’s death, which was probably why I was looking for a fight. I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded.
“You willin’ to slog through this with me?” he asked.
I dropped my head to his chest again. “I don’t know,” I admitted.
“Try.”
“When is anything going to ever feel normal again?”
“Don’t know, sweetness. Maybe never. I just know that it feels a fuck of a lot worse when you’re not around.”
I snorted. “Bullshit.”
He lifted my chin and frowned. “I get that your mother’s a total fuckin’ cunt and did a number on you, but you need to hear me when I tell you that I love you. Nothin’ you do’s gonna change that. You’ve been tryin’ to push me away from the second I met you and it’s never worked. I don’t care how many beer bottles you break, or skillets you throw at my head, you’re mine. You run away, I’ll bring you back every goddamn time. I made you a promise, sweetness, and I’ll never break it.”
“But you can if you want to.”
“Jesus Christ, woman, I don’t want to. Do you seriously think I want to?”
“I just figured you stayed because of Mandi.”
“I stayed because of you, sweetness,” he said. “Mandi was a bonus.”
“I’m difficult.”
“You expect excellence, there’s a difference,” he countered. “You’re also fun. You don’t take yourself too seriously, but you’re all fuckin’ alpha, so you do when you need to. People are intimidated by strong women.” He leaned down and kissed me gently. “And your mother happens to be at the top of that list.”
“Maybe so.” I sighed. “Go get your stuff. I’ll clean up the beer.”
He squeezed my chin gently. “Don’t cut yourself.”
“If I do, I know someone who’ll be able to patch me up.”
He kissed me again. “You’re perfect just the way you are, Liv. Don’t doubt it, okay?”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder,” he ordered before heading out of the condo, while I went to clean up the mess I’d made.
He returned just as I dumped the glass into the garbage can.
He dropped his bags on the floor and took the dustpan out of my hands. “I’ll take it from here. Go sit down and figure out what you want me to cook.”
“You’re gonna cook?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to cook?”
“I never want to cook,” I grumbled.
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
I crossed my arms. “Well, I want you to cook rib-eyes with corn and potatoes, and I don’t have any of that, because I also hate grocery shopping, so your clairvoyance has apparently failed you.”
He grinned, nodding toward the bags on the floor. “Check the duffel.”
I unzipped his duffel and saw a grocery bag with a couple of steaks, potatoes, and two fresh ears of corn in it, along with a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough. “Oh my god, you’re insane. How could you possibly have known to buy all this?”
He chuckled. “Because I know my woman. And when she’s about to get her period, she craves red meat, wine, and chocolate.”
“I don’t get a period,” I countered. The shot eliminated them.
“Oh, you get a period,” he said. “It just might not be physical.”
I laughed. “I suppose that’s an accurate statement.”
“The steaks aren’t rib-eyes, though, sorry.”
“I love New Yorks as well,” I said, setting the food on the counter, standing on my tiptoes and kissing him gently. “Thank you.”
“You’re makin’ the cookies.”
I grinned. “I can handle the cookies.”
He kissed me again and then I left him to cook, considering he typically liked to create alone.
* * *
“Mama,” Mandi squealed, running toward me with a giggle.
I scooped her up and cuddled her close just as she disappeared before my eyes. “Baby?” I spun trying to find her, screaming her name. “Mandi!”
Strong arms wrapped me in a vice-grip and I heard Doc’s voice call my name.
“Mandi,” I rasped.
“Baby, I got you,” Doc said, stroking my back. “It was a bad dream. Open your eyes.”
I rolled to face him, wrapping my arms around him and burrowing my face into his chest. He had a tattoo of the Caduceus that started between his pecs and stopped just above his belly button, and weirdly, it made me feel safe. “It was so real. She was real.”
“You having these dreams a lot?”
“No,” I said. “But enough that I think I need to start talking to someone again.”
“I’m all for you taking care of your mental health, sweetness.”
I sighed. “I have
to go in on Thursday to update my birth control anyway, so I’ll stop into Cindy’s office and get back on her books.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’m really proud of you, Liv.”
“Oh, you are, are you?”
He chuckled. “Why are you saying it like that?”
“Because I figured you’d like to take me out to dinner on Thursday night.”
“You figured that, huh?”
“Yep.” I kissed his neck. “Somewhere nice.”
“Jesus,” he hissed. “You never ease me in, do you?”
I smiled. “Do you want me to ease you in?”
“No.” He kissed me. “Thursday. You got it.”
“I’m gonna sleep now.” I yawned, burrowing closer. “Don’t let me go.”
“Haven’t since I met you, sweetness, not gonna start now.”
And he was right, he hadn’t.
When I got home after my attack and attempt to run, he’d helped me focus my desire to help people into something that didn’t actually require me working with them. With Rabbit’s technical help, Doc and I developed an app that helped low-income, single parents connect with counseling, abuse hotlines, suicide preventions, life coaching, and basic first aid services. It was funded by higher paying clients who wanted concierge services, who understood that a twenty-percent fee would be added to their bill to help the poor.
I kept less than a dozen clients who were willing to meet with me online, and gave me some flexibility with my schedule. The app gave me flexibility with my income and Doc gave me flexibility with my sanity. He stood by me through everything and seemed to know what I needed before I even did.
As I snuggled close, I smiled, falling into a deep, untroubled sleep, safe in the knowledge I was loved beyond reason.
Olivia
A WEEK LATER, it was Church for the club. This meant, it was an all-club meeting, no girls allowed, so us ladies usually did our own thing. At least, we did when we all had a free schedule. Which we finally did, and I couldn’t wait.
The Dogs’ main meeting house was a gigantic antebellum tobacco barn they’d converted into private bedrooms, offices, and a meeting hall. It sat in the middle of a fenced compound on thirty acres, along with outbuildings that housed workshops and a couple of old slave quarters. The workshops were used for everything from car repair to iron works (Otter was an artist when it came to sculpting metal). I was dying to renovate the slave quarters and make them actual homes the younger couples could live in if they so desired, but that was something to be tackled down the road. The original house had burned down in the early nineteen-hundreds and had sadly never been rebuilt.
Jasmine, Quin, and Willow were bringing their kids to the barn to be watched by a couple of the women who were trying to get in with the club and a few of the younger recruits would also be on hand. The beauty of recruits was that they were given a rigid background check and watched closely by our men, so they felt pretty comfortable having them around their kids.
Parker was also going to join us tonight. She was Jasmine and Willow’s bestie, and she was a blast. I wondered if she’d end up with one of the men, but she kind of kept her distance and I often wondered why. Something to drill down on in the future, but tonight, it was time to relax and drink.
Sterling was still too young for visitors, so Lyric and Doom were having family time, but we all planned to see them next weekend for their sip and see and I couldn’t wait to get my arms around the little man.
“Liv?” Doc said from the office doorway.
I glanced up from my laptop. “Yeah?”
I had locked myself away to get some work done before we left.
“Willow and Jasmine are here.”
I smiled, closing my computer. “Oh, cool.”
“They brought Kennedy.”
I raised an eyebrow as I stood. “Does Mouse know?”
We’d all met Kennedy a couple of years ago when one of the Portland crew had followed his woman, Remington, here. Kennedy was Remi’s best friend, and although Remi had moved to Portland, we’d all kind of adopted Kennedy as one of our own.
Kennedy and Mouse had a ‘thing’ a while back, but she’d broken it off with him and it had gotten kind of ugly for a minute. Mouse was extremely pretty for a man and I don’t think he’d ever been rejected by a woman, so her deciding he wasn’t the man for her did not go over well with him.
Doc shook his head. “I’ve got him helping Ozzy with his Scout, so we can avoid the drama.”
“He’s still working on that old truck?”
Ozzy had been restoring an old International Scout for over two years now, and Doc always threatened to set it on fire and put it out of its misery. Ozzy loved it, though, so Doc humored him.
“Yep. I have no fuckin’ idea why.”
I chuckled. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
“Yeah, apparently.” He cocked his head. “Bonnie’s also here, by the way. I think she’s hoping you’ll invite her.”
“She can hope until the cows come home,” I grumbled. “That woman is evil. You watch yourself with her.”
Bonnie Sanchez was a woman who’d decided she wanted Doc and had wanted him from the get. She didn’t care that I was already in his bed, and even if he and I had been married, she probably would have made a move on him. She’d been around before me, so Doc didn’t feel right about kicking her out of the group unless she did something to warrant it.
“I always do.” He closed the distance between us and slid his hand to my neck. “Need you to do something for me.”
“What?”
“No more telling people I’m your fuckin’ ‘friend,’ Liv. Got it?”
“Who told—?” I shook my head, cutting off my words. “Never mind. What am I supposed to tell them? We’re in a grey area here?”
“Are we?”
“Aren’t we?”
“Jesus Christ, woman, we’re very much in a firm area of me loving you, and you fuckin’ loving me.”
“That doesn’t mean our relationship status isn’t on shaky ground.”
“Only because you keep trying to sabotage it. Unless, there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“I’m not trying to sabotage shit,” I snapped. “And what could I possibly keep from you that you wouldn’t find out in two seconds? It’s called grief! I can’t control it sometimes.”
“You don’t think I don’t deal with grief? You don’t have the monopoly on that, Olivia. She was my child, too.” He pulled away. “I loved her just as much as you did. I felt that loss deep in my gut, just like you did.”
“It’s different when you carry a child in your body,” I argued.
“Thank you for minimizing my emotions, baby. I appreciate it.”
He stormed out of the room, slamming the door for effect.
I let out a frustrated groan and followed him, running into Rabbit on the way. Literally.
“Whoa, babe, where’s the fire?”
“Which way did Doc go?” I asked.
“Upstairs,” he said.
“Sorry, excuse me.” I pushed away from the young recruit and headed toward Doc’s room. Letting myself inside, I found it empty, so I headed to the bathroom.
“Tris—”
“Not interested in anything you have to say right now, Liv,” he snapped, leaning over the sink and washing his face.
This took me aback. Doc had the patience of Job. Especially when it came to me. So, something else was going on and I had obviously stepped in the middle of a shit show.
“Why are you acting all weird?”
He dried his face and frowned. “I don’t have time to get into any of this shit with you right now, so go have fun with your women.”
I grabbed his arm as he stalked past me. “Wait.”
“Serious as fuck right now, Liv. You need to let go.”
I forced back tears. “Are you okay?”
“Do I look okay?”
“No, which is why I’m asking.
”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said.
“Are you shutting me out for a reason?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to tell me that reason?”
“Not right now,” he said.
I sighed and gripped his cut. “I’m sorry I minimized your grief, honey. That wasn’t fair.”
“No shit?”
“I’ll try to be better about that in the future.”
His eyes softened and he leaned down, kissing me gently. “Thank you.”
“Do you have any time before Church?”
“Not really, why?”
I unbuttoned his jeans, kneeling in front of him and tugging the denim down his thighs, along with his boxer briefs.
“Liv—”
“I’m gonna suck you off before Church, Doc,” I insisted. “It’s up to you on how fast you make that happen.”
“I can’t just switch my feelings on a dime, Liv.”
His dick was already hard, proving his statement to be one-hundred percent false. I ran my tongue up the length of him, licking the precum from the tip, before wrapping my lips around the tip and taking him deep in my mouth.
I felt my nipples pebble as I took every inch of his cock as deep as I could. God, I wanted to fuck him so bad, but right now was not about me. This was part one of my apology. Part two would come later, and the wait would require patience on my part.
Doc gripped my scalp and I cupped his balls with one hand and moved the other in time with my mouth. But when he began to fuck my mouth, I grabbed his thighs for balance, and kept my jaw relaxed as he thrust harder and harder.
“Now, baby,” he rasped, and I closed my lips around his dick, sucking harder as his cum slid down the back of my throat.
“Jesus,” he hissed, his hands releasing their death grip on my head and helping me to my feet. He kissed me gently, then fixed his clothing. “Why do you start shit I don’t have time to finish?”
“You did finish,” I argued.
“Baby, when are you gonna figure out that if you don’t finish, I don’t finish?”
I rolled my eyes. “I will later. And you’re gonna make it extra fun.”
“Oh, yeah?”
I nodded. “I want some ass play.”
“Are you stayin’ here tonight?”
Keeping the Biker's Oath (Dogs of Fire: Savannah Chapter Book 5) Page 2