Justify My Love

by Maria Carter

  "You're in Virginia, Van."

  "That's so stereotypical."

  "And true."

  "And true," she admitted.

  "Well, at least call the ball-less wonder and tell him."

  "Why?"

  "Because it would piss him the hell off."

  "Tempting. But, no, it wasn't like that. Eric just offered me a place to stay while my car's in the shop."

  "So you were intentionally letting me think the wrong thing?"

  "Yes."

  "Touché. I'm glad you're being smart."

  "For now."

  "Really?"

  "I don't know." She picked at the comforter. "Leaving Goe after a year was easier than leaving him after a day."

  "So you're feEricng confused?"

  "Yes."

  "Then it seems like the perfect time to sleep with some guy you just met."

  "Thanks. Hanging up now."

  "Fine. Sorry. I was just calling to see how you were. How the hell did you hit a deer, anyway?"

  "I don't know. They just roam into the roads here. Stupidest animals that ever existed. I feel really bad about it, actually."

  "I know what you mean. I hit a pigeon once. It walked right in front of my tire."

  "That's not the same at all. They never made a sappy animated movie about a pigeon. And pigeons can't wreck your car."

  "It wrecked your car?"

  "The windshield, at least. And I'm sure something's wrong with the front bumper. I didn't get a good look at it. Eric's taking me to get some things out of it today, so I'll find out soon."

  "When do you think you'll get on the road again?"

  "I'm not sure. Eric's brother will probably take a look tomorrow and I need to call the insurance company. In all honesty, my parents might get back to New York before I even get out of here."

  "Keep me posted."

  "I will."

  Vanessa ended the call and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Without a flat iron or blow dryer all she could do was finger comb her hair and hope it came out looking like something better than bed head. She had some makeup in her purse, and, in about fifteen minutes, she was ready to go.

  She stepped out of the bedroom and found Eric lying on the couch, watching a car show on TV. He looked up, and that dimpled grin broke onto his face. She bit her lip, trying not to stare at those irresistible blue eyes.

  "Ready when you are," she said.

  "Yeah, sure. Let's go."

  He stood, and a golden retriever jumped up from in front of the couch, tail wagging and tongue hanging out of his mouth. She squatted down to say hello. The animal happily took her up on the invitation, nearly knocking her over in the process.

  "Timberlake!" Eric hissed, trying to get the dog away without waking Julia.

  Vanessa laughed and rubbed the dog behind his ears, somehow managing to avoid his slobbery tongue and keep her makeup intact.

  "He's fine," she insisted, standing and brushing dog hair from her dress.

  A knock sounded on the door, and Eric disappeared to answer it. She heard Sharon's voice and went to greet her. Sharon wrapped her in a big hug, and Vanessa tried to adjust to the sudden physical contact. The only people who hugged like family in New York City were, well, family-and very close friends. Also the occasional Italian. When she was modEricng, especially, most physical contact involved butt-out hugs and faux cheek kisses. This was different. But she found herself enjoying the maternal gesture.

  "Are you feEricng better?" Sharon asked sympathetically.

  "I think so. Sleep helped."

  "Well, good. I'm sure everything'll heal up just fine and get fixed in a few days." She smiled and gave the younger woman's arm an affectionate squeeze.

  "Thanks. I hope so."

  "We're going to switch trucks and get some things from her car. It shouldn't take long," Eric told Sharon. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and started for the door, grabbing his hat off the counter as he went.

  "Oh, take your time. Go to breakfast. I can make sure Julia gets hers."

  "Thanks." He smiled, and Vanessa followed him out the door. They got in the truck, and he started the engine. Then he paused. "Do you want to go to breakfast?"

  "We don't have to just because Sharon suggested it." Vanessa said with a laugh.

  It seemed like Eric was always trying to do the right thing. It was a nice quality and one that Goe certainly hadn't possessed. He'd always done what he wanted when he wanted, and fuck everyone else. Literally.

  "What are you thinking about?" Eric's voice was low, his eyes curious.

  "Just how I've never met a guy quite like you, I guess."

  He grinned and rubbed his rough chin, trying and failing to hide his pleasure at the compliment. "Well, I wasn't asking you because Sharon said to. I was asking because I'd like to have breakfast with you."

  "Then yes." She smiled and put on her seatbelt.

  It took just a few moments to reach the salvage yard. Eric unlocked the gate and then hopped up onto the step bar to talk to Vanessa through the window. "Do you want to drive it through?"

  Vanessa glanced around the large cab and judged the distance between herself and the ground. It was very far away. It was a very big truck. And something about the idea of controlling it excited her. She scooted into the driver's seat.

  "Are you sure? You've seen my luck with driving," she joked.

  He laughed. "I'm sure."

  Eric jumped down, supervising as she maneuvered the large vehicle through the gate and into its parking spot. She turned it off and hopped out, giddy laughter on her lips. Eric grinned and grabbed her around the waist, stopping her breath short as it entered her lungs. He held her tight against him, his lips close to hers. His blue eyes were so dark but so alive, like burning coals, and his voice was husky.

  "How long are we gonna dance around this?"

  He ran a hand through her short hair and nuzzled her nose with his, coming so close but not close enough. Vanessa gripped his strong biceps and tilted her chin up. Finally, he stopped teasing her and closed the gap.

  The feel of his warm lips against hers was becoming familiar. His kisses were gentle, sensual, but for the first time he asked for more. His tongue pressed against the seal of her lips, and she let him in. He leaned back against the truck, twining their tongues together and clutching her body to his. The blood in her veins was hot, throbbing dEricciously between her thighs, and she felt him react. But they had to come up for air. She landed another, sweeter kiss on his lips and pulled away.

  "Just a little longer," she said, hoping he'd understand.

  He took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's go eat, then."

  Chapter Six

  Vanessa changed into skinny jeans and a black, open-back shirt while Eric stood with his back against the truck behind B.S. Service Center. It was hard for him not to turn and look. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, she was so close and so naked, but he was a patient man. He could wait. Even though it might kill him, he could wait.

  At Tiff's Diner, they made flirty small talk while they ate omelets and hashbrowns, but all he could think about was their last kiss and the way her foot was rubbing his calf. With no one else joining them, they had the freedom to be near each other, and she was taking full advantage of it. He was falling hard for her. It had been a long time since any one woman had affected him this way, this quickly.

  It hadn't happened since Angela.

  "What is it?" she asked mid-sentence.

  "Just thinking how I've never met a girl quite like you." He grinned, repeating her earlier sentiment.

  She smiled and finished her last sip of orange juice. He paid and put his hat on. Then they maneuvered through the front door, holding hands, and he helped her into the truck—not because she needed it, but because it gave him another moment of physical contact with her.

  "So where does your brother live?" Vanessa asked as he got in the driver's seat.

  "The other side o
f town."

  "So, like, two minutes away?" she teased.

  Eric laughed. "Pretty much. You're getting the hang of this small town stuff."

  He rested his hand on her knee as they drove. His fingers itched to move higher, to make her feel how much he wanted her, to work her out of his system. She put her hand over his, keeping him in place, as if she knew what he was thinking. She laced her fingers in his, and he squeezed them gently. He had that ache in the pit of his stomach, the dread that came with knowing the end was inevitable. It was a feEricng with which he was all-too-familiar. As if reading his mind, again, Vanessa asked him a question he knew had been coming.

  "So I don't know if I'm allowed to ask this or how I'm supposed to ask, but...what happened to her?"

  "Who?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

  "Angela," she said the name hesitantly.

  It had to feel strange coming out of her mouth. Normally, exes' names were spoken with flippancy or disgust; Angela's name would always have to be said with reverence.

  "She was killed by a car bomb. In Iraq." He kept his eyes on the road as he spoke.

  "Was she a reporter or something?"

  Her hand gripped his tightly. Whether it was for his support or her own, he didn't know. "No. She was a soldier."

  "Oh."

  Her buzzing phone broke the strange silence, and she reached for the device. Eric couldn't blame her for not knowing what to say to him about a woman she'd never known, who had meant so much to him. But she didn't need to say anything. He'd gone through the last five years of his life feEricng overwhelmed and empty; even if it was only temporary, she helped him feel something more-full of life and reassured, in a way only a woman could.

  "Hey, Mom...Yeah, I'm still here...I'm fine. The guy who fixed my flat is helping." She glanced at him, a coy smile on her lips. "Maybe a little. That's none of your business. How much longer are you in Florida?...Okay, I'll just drive back up once the car's fixed...No, I'm fine. It's keeping my mind off of him...No, Mom, trust me. We're not getting back together...Love you, too."

  She flipped her phone closed and looked out the windshield.

  "They still want you to be with that asshole?" Eric asked.

  "Oh, she doesn't know the whole story. I didn't tell her. I want to do it in person, you know? Or maybe I just want to avoid the conversation for as long as possible." She laughed, but she was tense again.

  They pulled up to his brother's trailer, and Vanessa slid out of the passenger's seat. A strange car was in the driveway; maybe he'd had a girl stay the night. Before he knocked on the door, he caught Vanessa's hand in his and stopped her so he could examine her pensive face. He brushed his thumb over the fading bruise, then kissed her mouth sweetly. He felt her relax into him immediately, and he grinned, rEricshing in the easy way she reacted to him.

  "I'll never have to tell you when you're good at something. You always seem to know," she said dryly.

  He laughed and knocked on his brother's front door. It took a few minutes for Bommer to answer. His hair was disheveled, and his greeting was groggy. "Hey, Eric. What are you doing here?"

  "I didn't think you'd be asleep."

  "Late night."

  "Who do you have in there?" Eric grinned and tried to peek over Bommer's shoulder.

  "Oh, it's not like that," his brother answered. "Me and my buddy Dave had a little too much to drink, so he crashed on the couch."

  "Well, I'm disappointed. You're losing your touch."

  "Everybody needs a break from the game now and again." Bommer grinned, then caught sight of Vanessa. "Hey, cute stuff, what are you still doing here?"

  "Oh, you know. I just had to come back and see you one last time."

  "I knew it." He winked, and she smiled.

  "Anyway," Eric interrupted. "I just wanted to let you know Vanessa's car is back at the shop. She hit a deer."

  "Wow."

  "Yeah. So just give one of us a call when you get around to looking at it. She's staying with me until it's fixed."

  "Fair enough."

  He shot Vanessa another flirtatious smile. Eric had a hunch it was just to annoy him.

  "See you later." Eric gave Bommer a quick wave and headed back to the truck. Vanessa followed.

  "That was fast," she commented.

  "Yeah, well, he probably wants to get back to sleep."

  "Are you jealous?" she teased as she buckled her seat belt.

  "Should I be?" he answered.

  "Ouch." She put a hand to her heart in mock hurt, and Eric smiled against his will.

  "Let's get back to the house. Julia is used to having me around on Sundays."

  Vanessa nodded, and he reached out to hold her hand again, planning to cherish the last few minutes they had before they were back in front of his daughter and Angela's mother. He didn't want to confuse Julia. Vanessa seemed to understand, and he was grateful.

  "Thanks for coming with me, Tom."

  "You know I love a fancy party." The tall, dark-haired man smiled and offered Norreen his arm as they descended the steps of her apartment building.

  The pretty blond lived near Central Park, and they walked the few blocks to the outdoor theater event being held there. It was a benefit for Sturge-Weber syndrome, from which Norreen's sister suffered. Although he was wholly uninterested in the opposite sex, Tom could still appreciate the short, green sun dress his friend wore-and his own reflection with her as he passed a dark window. Oh, yes. He always looked dapper in Dolce and Gabbana.

  "Oh, Tom, could you keep your eyes off yourself for two seconds?"

  "Of course, darling. You're my meal ticket for the evening, after all."

  "I'm a hell of a lot more than that, Tom. I can make or break that pretty little face of yours. One wrong pluck of the eyebrow, one poorly-covered blemish..."

  Tom pouted, and Norreen gave him a playful glare.

  "Okay, okay." He rolled his eyes as he gave into her. "You're my meal ticket and my favorite make-up gal."

  "That's better."

  She was also Vanessa's favorite make-up artist. Vanessa was someone else he'd met on the job and grown close to. She'd been his confidant and go-to gal pal for the last three years. He glanced down at his cell phone to make sure it was on vibrate, in case she needed him while she was lost in the wilderness that was the south side of the Mason-Dickson line. Norreen watched his movements.

  "You said Vanessa is in Virginia?"

  "Yes. And dangerously close to sleeping with some hunky hick who rescued her from an indefinite amount of boredom on the side of the highway."

  "Well, after what Goe did to her, she should go out and have some fun."

  "How did you find out about that?"

  "You told me."

  "Are you accusing me of gossip?"

  "Yes."

  Tom feigned indignation as they approached the greeter for the event. Norreen handed the young man their tickets, and they walked through the gate, onto the crowded lawn where cushioned folding chairs were lined up in rows. Waiters walked around with cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, and Tom and Norreen sipped on sweet drinks as they greeted a few acquaintances.

  Then Tom caught sight of a back he'd hoped to never see again.

  "Oh my God," Norreen said. "Is that—"

  "Shh," Tom cut her off.

  "And he has the nerve to show up here. With one of his skanks."

  They tried desperately to blend in with the grass and alcohol, but Goe spotted them anyway. He left his date with some friends and approached them, an impeccable smile plastered on his face.

  "Tom! I've been hoping to see you. How's Vanessa? I haven't been able to get a hold of her since that horrible misunderstanding."

  Tom bristled. "She's doing great. She's taking a little vacation."

  "I was wondering where she went. She hasn't returned my phone calls. I've been hoping to reconcile."

  "By treating her like dirt and seeing other women?"

  "She left me. I have every right to see o
ther people. But she's the only one I really want."

  Tom's eyes narrowed. "Or she's the only one who looks good on your arm during family dinners and business affairs."

  "I can see you've decided where you stand. After hearing one side of the story."

  Tom stepped forward, anger in his veins. Norreen held his arm, warning him not to cause a scene.

  "You hit her and cheated on her. There's nothing else to know."

  "Just tell me where she is, Tom."

  "Fuck you, Gerry." It was a nickname he knew the other man hated.

  "Come on." Norreen pulled him away but caught the attention of Goe's date as they passed. "He hit his last girlfriend, you know."

  The pretty, dark-skinned girl seemed startled, and she turned immediately to her date. Goe was furious as he came over to do damage control. Norreen and Tom took their seats.

  "I wish we had the power to completely blacklist him," Norreen muttered.

  "I told Vanessa to take a picture of what he did to her. I hope she did. She needs to press charges."

  "The papers would love that."

  "Exactly."

  Tom smiled and settled in to watch the performance. He'd remind Vanessa the next time they talked. Goe needed to pay. And there was nothing like bad publicity to ruin a New York businessman.

  Vanessa ate leftover lasagna with Eric and Julia. She hoped to get the chance to experience Sharon's cooking firsthand before leaving town. Even her leftovers were dEriccious.

  Vanessa had gone with Eric and Julia to walk Timberlake in the park that morning, and they'd spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV. While she and Julia shared an interest in reality shows and CW originals, Julia and Eric shared an interest in old Patrick Swayze movies and car makeover shows.

  Julia was nice to Vanessa, but her initial excitement seemed to have faded. An air of suspicion surrounded the adolescent as she watched Vanessa interact with her father. They tried to act friendly—just friendly—but the girl was too perceptive. She'd noticed the subtle changes in her father, the flirtatious touching. Vanessa would either need to stay far away from Eric until her car was fixed or find a way to get on Julia' good side if she was going to keep the peace.

  At this point, she doubted she could distance herself from Eric if she wanted to.