Choices

by Michelle MacQueen

  Jason jogged down the sidewalk until he caught up with Michaela. She hadn’t gotten far, but she refused to turn around.

  “Just go back to the bar, Jason,” she said. “I’m being stupid.”

  “Stop walking.” He grabbed her arm. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m sorry.” She wiped her face on her coat sleeve. “I don’t even know why I’m crying.”

  “Katie and I aren’t together.” Jason watched her reaction to see if that’s the answer she wanted.

  “It’s none of my business if you are.”

  “Then what’s wrong?” He slid his hand down her arm to take her hand in his. She studied him silently for a moment before exhaling slowly and wiping her face again.

  “I came to talk to you a few days after we almost ...” she began. He waited for her to continue. “When I got to your place, Katie was coming out.”

  Jason rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes for a moment before asking, “What did you want to say to me?”

  “That doesn’t matter anymore. I’m with Ethan and you have Katie.”

  “I didn’t sleep with her,” he said. “I found her at the bar, too drunk to get home. So, she crashed.”

  “But tonight-”

  “Tonight was nothing. It was-”

  “Jason, stop.” Michaela removed her hand from his. “I just...” She paused. “I don’t think we can be friends anymore. I’m sorry.”

  With that, she turned and practically ran towards her apartment. Jason didn’t follow. He stared after her until she disappeared. Texting Aaron that he’d have to close without him, Jason went home, alone.

  Jason finally dragged himself out of bed around noon, rubbing his temples as pain shot across his skull. How was he supposed to make it through the day when he felt like shit?

  Saturdays were always a busy day for him because the bar would be busy at night. He called them ‘turnaround’ days. He had to make sure everything was restocked and looking good. Why he’d agreed to give Aaron the day off on a Saturday was beyond him. He wasn’t so sure that was a good idea anymore. Oh well. He sighed. There was no changing it now.

  Jason started the coffee and went to jump in the shower. He had to let the cleaning crew into the bar in thirty minutes. Back in his room, he pulled on a fitted blue t-shirt and a worn pair of jeans. He’d have to change before he opened tonight, but he felt like being comfortable at the moment. He dragged a comb through his ear-length blond curls and pulled on a pair of shoes.

  After pouring his coffee into a travel mug, Jason grabbed his keys and headed down to the bar. He was just in time to greet the cleaners. Once inside, he immediately started another pot of coffee. It was going to take a lot of caffeine to get through the day.

  The coolers were pretty depleted from the night before, so Jason got to work carrying cases out from the store room. He could have his employees do that kind of work, but he enjoyed doing it himself.

  He’d been at it for an hour when his phone rang. Fishing it out of his pocket, he saw Maggie’s name and answered.

  “Hey, Mags.”

  “How you feeling, cuz?” she asked.

  “Ugh, I think I’m too old for this shit.”

  “Too old for what?”

  “Bars,” he answered.

  “I hate to break it to you, but you own a bar.” She laughed.

  “Oh yeah.”

  “So…” She hesitated. “What happened when you went after Michaela?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Come on, Jason. You need to.”

  “It’s done. Over. She wants nothing more to do with me.”

  “Did you tell her how you felt?”

  “No. Will you stop with your pestering?” Jason ran a hand through his sweaty hair and walked back to the bar where he drained the rest of his coffee.

  “Fine. But I think you’ll regret this.”

  “I probably will,” he said, hearing a knock on the door and glancing up. Chris peered in at him with an older lady who Jason had never seen before. Jason unlocked the door and waved them in. “Look, Mags, I’ve got to go.”

  “Okay, just think about what I’ve said.”

  “Will do. Bye, cuz.” He hung up and turned towards Chris.

  “You do know that I don’t open for like six hours yet,” he said.

  “Restroom?” The woman spoke up.

  “Mom, this is Jason.” Chris waved a hand between them.

  “Bathroom is that way.” Jason pointed towards the back and she walked away. Chris’s shoulders relaxed, and he sighed.

  “Sorry, man,” he said. “I couldn’t take any more time alone with her, and Michaela is at Legal Services.” Jason tried not to flinch when Chris mentioned his sister. It was like salt in an open wound.

  “How long has she been in the city?”

  “About an hour.” Chris cracked a smile and Jason started laughing.

  “Thought you were tougher than that.” He grinned. “An hour?”

  “You don’t know that woman,” Chris said. “I told her I wanted to show her the area where I lived.”

  “So, you brought her to your bar? Every mother’s dream. To see where their son gets plastered and meets most of the men he hooks up with.” Chris shrugged and Jason chuckled.

  “Leave out the men part, will you?” Chris was serious again. “I haven’t figured out how much she knows about what went down with my dad and she won’t talk about it.”

  “Scout’s honor.”

  Chris’s phone buzzed. He looked at it and scowled. “It’s a client,” he explained. “Will you tell my mom I’ll be right back?”

  “Sure thing.” Chris disappeared outside and Jason poured himself another cup of coffee.

  “Where is my son?”

  Jason turned with his cup halfway to his lips and grimaced. The woman was looking at him with an accusation in her eyes, but that wasn’t all. Her eyes were cold, calculating. He suddenly had no problem associating her with the man who’d barged into Michaela’s apartment and said all those horrible things about Chris.

  “He had to take a call,” Jason said carefully. “Would you like some coffee?”

  “I’ll take an espresso,” she answered.

  “Mrs. Matthews, I only have regular old coffee.”

  “What kind of place is this?”

  “A bar, not a coffee shop.” Jason handed her a steaming mug and sat down at a nearby table.

  He studied the woman who raised Michaela and Chris. There was a family resemblance, sure. From the color of her hair to the narrow nose and slight build, she was so similar to Michaela. But the similarities were only skin deep. Chris and Michaela were both relaxed and open whereas this woman was stiff and formal. She sat with her back perfectly straight and her shoulders square, almost as if she had a plank of wood holding her up.

  Jason didn’t grow up knowing his parents and had never understood when Michaela or Chris ignored their mother’s calls or complained about having to go home. He would’ve given anything to have a home. But, just seeing this woman and knowing her husband, he began to get it. How had she raised a woman like Michaela?

  Jason tried to push Michaela from his mind, but he found it impossible with her mother sitting there staring at him.

  “So,” Mrs. Matthews said. “You’re the bartender.”

  “This is my bar,” Jason answered.

  She looked around and nodded.

  “I’ve heard about you from my husband.”

  “I’m sure you have.” Jason couldn’t help the snarl that entered his words.

  “I know what you must think of him,” she said, holding up a hand to stop him from interrupting her. “He is not a bad man. I’m trying to make everything right again.”

  “I’m sorry if it’s not my place to say, but shouldn’t he be the one doing that?”

  “You’re right, it isn’t your place.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before taking a long drink of her coffee. “You are a friend of m
y daughter’s?” Jason only nodded. Mrs. Matthews sighed again. He’d been with her for only a few minutes and already knew she did that a lot. “I know so little of her since she moved to the city. Will you tell me, is she doing well?”

  Jason shifted his eyes to the door, hoping Chris would finish his call soon. “Maybe you should ask your son about that. I don’t know if I’m the right person.”

  “Chris is not being honest with me. He told me that Michaela is spending most of her time working in his office, and seems to be very happy.”

  “That could be true.”

  “No, young man, it couldn’t. Despite what she might think, I know my daughter. She’d never be happy in a stuffy office like her brother or her father. She is meant for more than that.”

  They stared at each other for a moment before Jason asked, “What do you want to know?”

  “Is she happy?”

  “I think so,” Jason answered honestly. “She does work for Chris’s firm, but only part time.” He then told her about Legal Services and would have sworn there was pride in her expression when he told her of the work she was doing there. He told her about her friends, only leaving certain things out.

  Chris came back in and told his mom that Michaela couldn’t meet them until dinner. To his surprise, she decided she wanted to go see the place where Michaela was working and couldn’t be persuaded otherwise. They took their leave of Jason, but before they were out the door, Mrs. Matthews turned back.

  “Young man, I want to thank you for being such a good friend to my Michaela. You care about her. I can see that. If things were different, it might matter a bit more.” She left him dumbfounded. She’d almost managed to make him doubt Michaela’s opinion of her. Almost.

  “Michaela.”

  Michaela looked up from her desk at legal Services to find Joey, the volunteer coordinator, staring down at her.

  “Hi,” she said. He sat on the corner of her desk and folded his arms across his chest. Michaela was supposed to be working on some transcriptions, but she hadn’t typed anything in over ten minutes. Her head just wasn’t in it today.

  “You okay to stay a little later than usual today?” he asked, but he didn’t wait for an answer. “Kimberly’s court date is coming up this week, and Katie and Melissa are taking you with them.”

  “What? Really?” This perked Michaela up. She’d grown close to Kimberly and wanted to see it through. Michaela had been to court before, but only with her father during one of the few corporate cases that made it there.

  “It was Katie’s idea.” Michaela flinched, but Joey didn’t notice as he continued talking. “You’ll just be observing, but they need to prep you.” She nodded her head, half in excitement, half in fear of working with Katie, whom she’d managed to avoid for weeks now.

  Katie didn’t look up from the papers she was reading as the Legal Services Lawyer, Melissa, let Michaela into the office.

  “Take a seat,” Melissa said. “Katie tells me you might be headed to law school.” Michaela nodded and Melissa continued. “This city is always in need of good lawyers who deal with children and families. I know your father is David Matthews, which means you probably have the inside track to success in the corporate world.”

  “That world isn’t for me,” Michaela said. It was something she’d decided soon after starting her volunteer work at Legal Services. She’d never had a passion for the law like her brother and father did because she pictured people in stuffy suits, sitting in quiet offices. She wanted to help people. It was only recently that she’d realized she could still do that by going to law school.

  “That’s good to hear.” Melissa’s grin spread across her face and transformed her from a frazzled, overworked woman to one whose passion shone through. “I want you to come observe some of the work we do. I truly believe we’re going to win this case, and you can be a part of that.”

  When Michaela exited the office two hours later, she was shocked to find Chris waiting for her with a woman who looked strangely like her mother. But her mom would never be caught dead in this part of the city. Would she?

  Chris stood and smoothed out his suit jacket before giving Michaela a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “When I told her you wanted to do dinner instead of lunch, she insisted on me bringing her to wherever you were. She’s been with me all day.”

  “It’s fine.” Michaela looked over her brother’s shoulder at her mother. She was looking around the crowded office with a curious expression on her face. Michaela would have expected distaste, but there was none of that. She was probably just afraid someone she knew would see her in this part of the city.

  “Mom,” Michaela said, “you ready to go?”

  “Yes.” She stood and hurried towards the door.

  “Michaela!” Kimberly ran towards her and Michaela bent down to give the girl a hug.

  “I’ll see you on Tuesday, okay?” She smiled and Kimberly nodded before releasing her.

  Chris went to get his car while Michaela stood outside with her mom. She waited for the onslaught of words, but they didn’t come. Her mom was silent. Michaela expected to hear about how this job was not suitable for someone of her station; how it was dangerous and classless. She watched as her mother looked around the trash-littered street. There was fear in her eyes, but no disdain or disgust. She saw her back away any time someone came close. A car horn made her jump.

  She still hadn’t spoken by the time Chris pulled up and Michaela was confused and a little worried. Was she saving it up for an all-out attack?

  They drove back towards their area of town. Their mother had made reservations at her favorite restaurant. It was a white tablecloth-and-cloth-napkin affair. Michaela looked down at herself, glad she’d worn her best work dress today. She went to the bathroom to freshen up before joining her mother and brother. They’d already ordered wine, and it was being poured into their glasses as she sat.

  It all felt very familiar to Michaela. The three of them at a fancy restaurant. Her dad had been away a lot when she was a kid, so it had just been them and their staff.

  “A toast.” Their mother raised her glass. “To family.” Chris snorted, and Michaela kicked him under the table before clinking her wine glass against her mom’s.

  A waiter came and took their orders. When he’d walked away, Michaela’s mom spoke again. “Michaela, honey.” She set her glass down. “I’ve come to a decision.”

  “Here we go,” Chris said lowly. Michaela shot him a dark look and then nodded for her mom to continue.

  “You need to take up your place at Columbia Law next semester.”

  “Mom, stop.” Michaela felt her anger rising. It might take longer to build than her brothers, but the explosion could be ten times as big. “I-”

  “Hear me out.” Her mom cut her off. Michaela could tell she was trying to remain calm. It wasn’t hard to find where Chris and Michaela got their tempers. Their father could blow up, but it was nothing in comparison to their mother. “I’ve been making some inquiries. They have some great family law classes.”

  “Listen to me, Mom...” Michaela stopped suddenly as her mom’s words finally struck her. “Did you say family law?”

  “That is what you’d prefer, correct?”

  “Like Dad would ever allow that,” Chris said.

  “Leave your father to me. Michaela, if you come home for Thanksgiving next week, I will help you tell him.”

  “So that’s why you’re here?” Chris snarled. “To bribe Michaela to come home for the holidays and be sucked back into your shit?”

  “Your mouth, Christopher. Watch it. Contrary to what you believe, you’re still a part of this family, and you’ll be there as well.”

  “According to Dad, I’m not his son.”

  “Your father had a shock. Do you want to know how he found out? A junior partner who had been fired told the entire firm that he’d been your ‘lover’.” Chris blanched, knowing exactly who she must be talking about. “Let me tell you som
ething about your father. Do you remember hearing about your uncle Charles?”

  “The one who...” Chris stopped, unable to say it.

  “The one who took his own life, yes. He was of your... preferences.” She had Chris and Michaela’s full attention now. They’d never heard this part of the family history. Uncle Charles died when he was eighteen, and no one talked much about him.

  “Then how could Dad treat me like such a stain on the family name?” Chris asked.

  “It was a different time back then,” their mother said. “Charles had a hard time of it. His parents couldn’t accept it, and the kids his age-”

  “Is that why he-”

  “Yes. We think so.”

  “But, Mom,” Chris started, “It’s not like that for me. I wish Dad could see that. If he’s so scared, then why is he acting just like his parents did to Charles?”

  “It’s brought up a lot of old memories that were better left buried.” She took a sip of her wine and sighed. “You apparently have had years to come to terms with everything. Your father needs time. The least you can do is give him that. He does love you.”

  Their food came, and Michaela saw Chris’s shoulders sag under the weight of the newly revealed family secrets. Her own mind was reeling. They ate in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Michaela had a new understanding of her father. She looked over at Chris, imagining what it would do to her to lose him. She didn’t think she’d ever recover.

  “So, it’s decided then.” Their mother smiled. “The Matthews will all be together for Thanksgiving.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Michaela had been to the courthouse just once before. Her father let her tag along on one of his rare cases that went to court. It was rarer still that it was tried in the city. That case had been an emotional one. An ex-employee’s family was suing a company for gross negligence in the death of their loved one. She remembered being in awe of her dad as he laid out the case before the judge. He was stoic and aloof. His face didn’t change when the opposing counsel described the man’s death or his family’s hardships thereafter. She used to idolize her father for being tough in the courtroom. She used to want to be just like him. Now she could see that wasn’t a front he put on for his job, it was his personality. Just like at home, he was unemotional and unattached. That was not the person she wanted to be anymore.