by C. C. Brown
I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer that I would never become my mother. She was a walking disaster, and when I wasn’t cursing her for being the evil, vindictive woman that she was, I felt bad for her. I had received a barrage of calls from her, but I never returned them. With the amount of shit being shoveled my way lately, I just couldn’t take her, not even in small doses.
“Let’s get you home,” Dalton said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and leading us away from the gym. A couple of tears fell from my eyes as I walked away, feeling like a piece of me would never recover.
Chapter 13
Alex
Beer, Jager bombs, and more beer filled my night. I was in such a haze that it was hard to remember when I even went to bed. Smith wanted to throw me a party for beating my charges, and with the way I’d been feeling, I was down for anything.
I wanted the alcohol to numb me from the pain of being without Cassie. Deploying would probably be the best thing for me because it would require my undue attention. The last thing I wanted was another deployment where my mind was stuck where it shouldn’t have been, instead of on our mission.
As much as it hurt not having Cassie, I knew that O’Hara had done me the best fucking favor that he could have ever done for me. Getting away would certainly ease the heartache.
I didn’t remember much from the night before, but my phone conversation with Cassie was shining through, crystal clear. I shuddered at the way I had spoken to her, probably making her feel like she meant little to nothing to me. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Let your ego ruin everything for you. I hope it fucks you as well as I did because you’re never going to find anything better.
That statement played over and over in my head until I just couldn’t take it any longer. As badly as I wanted to throw everything to the side, my mind continued to doubt Cassie’s commitment to me. I had laid every fucking thing I had on the line for her, but she didn’t feel the same way. It fucking hurt, but I wasn’t going to let it break me. If she came to me, laying everything out in the open and wanting this relationship as badly as I did, I would take her back in a heartbeat.
Unfortunately, all of this inner turmoil was building inside of me, and I had no place to release it. Cassie and I hadn’t had sex since before her attack, so I was beginning to grow a strong set of blue balls, and my frustration level was about to blow through the roof. I wasn’t sure how Allen was still playing on my mind, but every time I got to Cassie in that way, all I could picture were his fingers touching her, caressing her, attacking her…it made me physically ill to the point of violence and the only way to remove that feeling was to remove myself from the trigger. I spent countless nights and restless mornings desperately trying to find a way to deal with it, and move on, but all those thoughts served was more frustration, more anxiety, and hardcore hand job sessions that still didn’t satisfy me the way I needed to be satisfied.
This morning was no exception. Not only was I accosted by the thoughts of Cassie, Allen, and my own shortcomings, but now I was dealing with my display of being a supreme dick to her the night before.
My dick throbbed this morning, more so than it had any other day. I could feel the intense tingles as it stood rigid as stone. I tried moving my legs, hoping that the shift would ease some of the hurt, but it only intensified it and I winced. My hand immediately took hold of it, working it up and down as I tried to take some of the ache away. Nothing seemed to help. I could feel the tension building, working its way through my body, and my chest constricted with each breath as my legs grew heavy with sensation. If I didn’t fucking come soon, I was going to explode in a way that was sure to cause bodily harm.
I moved my hand ferociously, ignoring the pain of the vise-like grip that held onto my aching cock. I was determined to come…to finally relieve some stress. The harder I worked, the longer my release seemed to take. Sweat coated my hands, feet, and face, and my facial muscles contorted as I strained out my efforts, closing my eyes tightly and biting down with tenacity. I took my free hand and gripped the sheets, scrunching them so tightly that I was sure there would be holes in them by the time I was done. I didn’t fucking care. My sole focus was coming, and hoping that the release would take some of my Cassie anxiety along with it.
The room began to get warm. Even with the air conditioner blasting and the ceiling fan spinning above me, my efforts were heating my core. I could feel the ache that had been plaguing my cock, make its way down my legs and up my chest. Heartburn hit me as I continued to stroke, fueling a fire inside of me that left me panting, gasping, and struggling not only to breathe, but also to release. Exactly three strokes later, it finally came. That gut wrenching, tingling sensation, inducing what I had been waiting so long for. My only wish was that I was balls deep inside of Cassie but since I wasn’t, I focused back on the task at hand and grunted out my explosion, sending warm, white cum spurting onto my stomach. Sadly, it didn’t quell my thirst for satisfaction… I felt better, but I was still backed up, and I knew the only way to fix this problem was to dig deep into a pussy and let loose from there.
Now my objective was to find my way back into some pussy.
After showering and dressing, I walked out to the kitchen where Riley and Nat were enjoying one another. He was half way down her throat, hands down her pants, ready to fuck her on the kitchen island. If I hadn’t walked in, that was probably going to be their next move.
“You have a fucking room, man.” I was annoyed that he was getting anything and everything that he wanted, whenever he wanted it. Jealously was an ugly fucking thing, and I had a bad case of it.
“Hey, sorry, man. You all right?”
“I’m good.”
I looked at Nat, who was watching me inquisitively. She had been working so much at the shop that she hadn’t been around our house too often, and last night was the first night in a long time that I had seen her. We hadn’t had any meaningful conversation, and my bad mood was probably more off putting to her.
“Hey, Nat…I haven’t told you, but I’m really sorry for the shit I said to you. I was wrong and out of line.”
She straightened up, making herself presentable since Dalton had damn near stripped her in our eating place. I would have to set more guidelines on his ass.
“Thank you, Alex. And I’m sorry to hear about Cassie.”
I nodded. There really wasn’t much that I could say at the moment, and I certainly didn’t want to delve into the train wreck that was me and Cassie.
“Riley told me what happened, and I’ve been meaning to offer my sympathies, but I wasn’t sure where you stood with me.”
I turned to the sink and threw some water on my face, then wiped it away with a paper towel. I wasn’t sure if it was frustration, anger, or a lethal combination of both, but this conversation was taking me back to a place that I did not want to be.
“It’s okay. Shit happens, right?”
Both Riley and Nat looked at me with worry in their eyes. I guess my charade wasn’t fooling anyone, and honestly, it wasn’t supposed to, but if it got them to back the fuck up, then I’d keep it up.
“Hey, man, have you told Cassie about the deployment orders?”
“No,” I coldly answered. “Why would I do that?”
Exasperation spread across Riley’s face as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Alex, come on. If you two are not technically together that’s fine, but don’t you think there is something there?”
Nat stood watching the two of us, looking like at any moment she would have to step in and play referee. Riley was right, and even though I knew it, it was pissing me off.
“I have to get to work. I have a shit ton of screenings to get through so I can get my ass out of here next week.” I turned and walked out, then hopped into my truck and sped off.
++++
When I got to work, MSgt. Finny handed me a pre-deployment checklist sheet along with my folders to take to medical, dental, base legal,
and the finance office. It had been a long time since I’d had to do this stuff, but strangely, it all felt familiar and even refreshing. Call me crazy, but the thought of getting out of Twentynine and legally blowing out my aggression was exciting me.
My first stop was at medical where every inch of my body was looked over, poked and prodded. After that, I went to dental where x-rays were taken, and a thorough exam was given. I never liked anyone that far into my mouth, not unless it was Cassie, and that was a different matter entirely. I was never so happy to get out of that chair, and with no work needing to be done, that made it all the better.
After lunch, I went into the finance office and set up allotments for my mom to be able to pay my mortgage, truck payment, and a little something just for stepping up and helping me out. Leaving everything in her hands made me feel a million times better.
When I went to legal, LCpl. Nelson smiled brightly, taking me almost immediately so that I could get my Power of Attorney taken care of, and I listed my mom again. Nelson was overly chatty, asking questions that didn’t pertain to the paperwork at hand, but I didn’t mind; she was nice and seemed like a lot of fun. She slipped me a small piece of paper in my hand just as I was standing to leave. I looked down at it, then back at her as she stood with her lips slightly puckered. I had seen that look before and I knew exactly what it meant. She was an attractive girl, but I wasn’t going to dip into that. I had enough shit going on around me, and I didn’t need to add anymore to the pot.
Captain Hedlund’s voice could be heard coming down the hall, and when I turned away from Nelson, there was Cassie, walking out with a folder in hand. Our eyes instantly locked, disapproval shrouding her face. My face heated, and my dick swelled. For better or for worse, Cassie was forever going to be a weakness for me.
I glanced to Nelson who had yet to erase her lustful expression from her face, and I could tell that Cassie had seen it too.
“Go over everything and we’ll meet again next week, Pfc. Bennett,” Captain Hedlund instructed. He turned to me, bellowing out, “Sgt. Cruz, come into my office please.”
“Coming, sir,” I responded, hoping to get to Cassie before she stormed out.
Captain Hedlund turned and walked back into his office. I hurried over to Cassie and took her by the arm, hoping to get a couple of minutes with her before she left.
“Alex, not in here,” she whispered.
The legal office was busy, but from what I could see, no one except Nelson was paying attention to us.
“No, here is perfect. I need you to fucking listen to me, Blondie.”
“Start talking then.”
I sighed, looking back and finding Nelson’s prying eyes burning into my backside. I took Cassie and pulled her behind a wall to give us a little more privacy.
“What the fuck has happened to us? How the fuck did we get here?”
“You’re seriously asking me that right now? I can’t sum it up in a couple of minutes, Alex.”
“Well, let’s start with what you’re doing here?”
She pulled back, looking offended. “That’s none of your business, Alex, but if you must know, Captain Hedlund was going over everything with me for my testimony in Allen’s court case.”
“Allen?” The name elicited a deep seated hatred from inside of me. “You’re not going to relive that bullshit. Why the fuck are they trying him? He’s fucking guilty. Castrate his ass and lock him up.”
“Alex, get a grip. He’s got a court-martial coming up and they need me to testify. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Cassie, having to drudge up all of that shit is like the end of the world. That motherfucker scarred you. Why the fuck would they want to put you through that again?”
“To get justice, Alex, and I’m all for it. He may have scarred me physically, but I think it’s you who he got mentally.”
LCpl. Nelson walked over and tapped my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Sgt. Cruz, but Captain Hedlund says he needs to see you right now.” Her expression had softened, but I could feel the tension between her and Cassie. I smelled estrogen flowing between these two, both looking to stake their claim. I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me smile for a second because at least then I knew that Cassie was still mine. I just had to make her realize it.
“Coming right now.”
I turned back to Cassie and took her hand in mine, forgetting about the little sliver of paper that Nelson had slipped into it earlier. She immediately felt it and grabbed for it, but I held it tight, not letting go.
“What is that, Alex?” she asked, her gaze was murderous.
“It’s nothing. Anyway, have dinner with me tonight.”
“What’s on that paper?”
She was fiercely pissed, her lips puckered and her eyes stone cold. I had never seen this side of her before, not even when I had previously pissed her off. She reached out and took the paper from my hands, opening it and seeing Nelson’s phone number written inside. A wry smile shaped her lips, and a devilishly wicked laugh escaped her. Her cold green eyes moved from the paper, then up to meet mine.
“Have dinner with Nelson,” she whispered into my ear, close enough for her lips to touch my lobe. “Fuck her ‘til your shit falls off. I’m done.”
“Cassie…” I harshly whispered. She threw her hand up and walked out of the legal building, leaving me standing there. I was fucking fuming. I didn’t want Nelson, didn’t ask for her phone number, and sure as hell wasn’t going to fuck her. If Captain Hedlund weren’t waiting for me, I would have run after Cassie and fixed that fucking attitude of hers, but I’d put it him off long enough.
I stormed past Nelson who was helping someone at the front desk. My knock on Captain Hedlund’s door was more of a bang. It was unintentional, but I was riled up, and not in a good way.
“You needed to see me, sir?”
“Took you fucking long enough, Cruz,” he replied, looking annoyed. “There are a few things that I need you to know before you deploy. One, your promotion to Staff Sergeant that had been revoked had now been reinstated. Your schoolhouse command, without adverse paperwork or a conviction, had no legal bearing to revoke it, and since they chose conviction and did not get it, your promotion stands. Your new command will inform you of your promotion date.”
I’d heard what he said, but I couldn’t even allow it to sink in. I was so pissed off that the thought of promotions or any other bullshit was lost in translation.
“Don’t be so happy about it, Cruz,” he chided, shaking his head at me.
“I’m sorry, sir,” I replied. “I appreciate it.”
“Not my business. I’m just passing along information. The second thing is that we’re going ahead with the court-martial for Pvt. Allen. He is out of the hospital and in the brig. Your testimony may or may not be necessary, and if you are needed, you will be flown back home for it.”
“Why can’t he just plea?”
“He is choosing not to, but that is none of your concern, Sgt. If you are called to testify, you will do so because it will be an order, do you understand that?”
Thoughts of what I walked in on that night flooded my mind. The images were forever burned into my memory, and a flurry of rage burned through my body. I wanted to find Allen and smash his fucking teeth in as I ripped his balls from his body. As far as I was concerned, that demented animal didn’t deserve to breathe.
“Yes, sir,” I answered through clenched teeth.
“Good. Have a safe deployment, Sgt. We’ll be in touch.”
He stood and shook my hand, dismissing me. Some of the office traffic had subsided, but I didn’t care. I marched out of the office, feeling a million times worse than when I had come in. I pulled out my cell phone and called Cassie, only to have it ring twice and go straight to voicemail. She was screening my calls. If I had been of sane mind, I would have left her alone, but sanity went out the window a long fucking time ago, and instead, I hopped into my truck and went to the barracks, parking and making my w
ay up to Cassie’s building.
The workday had come to an end, and I figured she’d be home, so I wanted to catch her off guard before she had a chance to build anything up in preparation for me. When I reached her floor, I spotted her smiling and closing her door, but leaving it slightly ajar as that fucking pencil dick motherfucker from the chow hall stood there, smiling in anticipation of her return. I immediately saw red. I remembered him as Dalton’s friend, but I didn’t remember his name and really didn’t fucking care. Whatever he thought was about to happen was going to be squashed before he could even get his dick up. I would be damned if Cassie had anything to do with any other asshole besides me. I could scare this little shit, and I was certainly about to do it.
“You need something…?” I paused, not recalling his name. He looked at me and smiled, completely disregarding the pissed of look taking over my face.
“It’s Johnson. Lance Corporal. Johnson.”
“That isn’t important. Do you need something here?”
He finally noticed that I wasn’t in the mood for friendly semantics and wiped that shit eating grin from his face. “I’m just waiting for Cassie, Sgt.”
“Well, no need.”
“Um, we have to—”
“Those fucking plans have changed, Lance Corporal. You are no longer needed here,” I angrily bit out. My eyes burned through him with the urge to shove his ass out of there, and he slowly backed away. I watched him leave, then turned back to Cassie’s room. She opened the door as she was putting something into her purse.
“I’m ready now, Andrew…” Our eyes met, and her smile faded. “Where is Andrew?”
“Andrew? I don’t know any fucking Andrew.”
“Where the hell is he, Alex?”
“Who the fuck knows? I need to talk to you,” I growled. I took her hand and pulled her back into her room, closing her door behind me.