“Gonna switch to blowing guys in prison?”
“That’s not fucking funny, Danny!”
“I thought you’d like that.”
They carried Malkie’s bags up to his room, just one floor up. They spent a nervous evening watching television and reading updates on the Bangkok Post website.
XXXIV
The thumping beat was discordant. Uneven. He couldn’t feel his heart, but he knew it was racing. Thoughts ran through his mind, but just out of reach. There was a tall drink in front of him, and he knew what it was, but also knew he didn’t order it. He saw legs on top of high heels. Nylons to the upper thighs. He looked around. He saw people, but didn’t recognize anybody.
And he followed the legs up. Slowly. He knew it was her before he was past her crotch. Saffron panties. Then soft mid-section, with light golden hairs. He saw the slight droop in her breasts. Her sandy hair was past her collarbone. Scattered curls.
He took in all of her face at once. On her face was distance. On her face was disappointment. With him? Downcast eyes. Pale eyes. Unfocused. He saw her bobbing from side to side, one foot to the other. The Bar Girl Two-Step. She didn’t match the rhythm of the music, but there was no rhythm to the music. She simply moved her balance from side to side.
And then she looked at him. And he knew she recognized him. Their eyes locked together. Cold, distant gray eyes locked onto his. Judgment. Recognition, pain, anger, despair…filling the tunnel between their gazes. And he knew what she said, though her lips never moved.
“Danny…is this what you want? Is this what you’ve become?”
He tried to answer…his mouth flew open to try to explain. But not a word. He had no answer.
“Danny…how could you treat me like this? Why would you use me like this?”
And now he tried harder to answer, but the words crammed into his mouth like marbles, and piled up in the back of his throat. He could feel them trying to get out, colliding in a desperate press to release.
And still her eyes were locked on his. All he saw was her pale gray eyes. They grew larger, if just slightly. Lids lifted high, in expectation.
“Danny, why won’t you answer me? Danny?”
He now tried to scream out the words. He had to tell her. But they were still smashing into each other in his mouth, piling up back down his gullet, and sliding down his throat. They tasted like acid. And blood. He tried to force them out with sheer effort, but it was like yelling with cement filling his mouth. The orifice was so full it began to push his teeth away from each other. He let out a choking wail, but that only pushed more words into the ever-widening gap. He heard the loud thumping. And now the thumping turned urgent.
And then he was awake, hearing the pounding on his door.
“Open up, gawddammit, Danny…the fuck? Open up, ye fish mitten! Are ye jacking off?”
His sheets were wet, and he was upright. The air conditioning cooled his skin rapidly. Searching for understanding. He yelled out. “Alright, man—hang on…” and the pounding stopped. He shambled to the door, feeling cold and clammy.
He opened the door, and Malkie walked in.
“Fuck’s sake, Danny, you look like shyte, man…”
“Yeah, I think I’m coming down with something.”
“Ah fuck, sorry, man. Can I get you some juice or something? Maybe a handjob?”
“Nah, I’m good. What’s up, man…why the pounding?”
“Well, for one it’s three o’clock…wondering where the fuck you are. Second, to see if you’d heard anything.”
“No, haven’t heard anything, but I’ve been asleep. Turn on the TV.”
Malkie complied, while Danny threw on a shirt. He poured himself some water from the tap and drank it.
They sat in silence while Malkie flipped through the channels. There were only three primary channels that would have coverage, and Malkie rotated through them.
“You know, man, you ought to get a TV someday.”
“What for? Yours works fine.”
“Yeah, I see your point.” Danny got up and walked over to the window. He looked down on the street and watched the traffic for a bit. He wasn’t expecting to see anything, and was just watching people for a minute. He saw the motorbikes…entire families on motorbikes…driving in all directions. He saw people carrying food and products to markets. He saw pretty girls in black skirts and white blouses heading to school.
“I don’t see anything, Danny,” Malkie said at last, waking Danny from his musings.
“Nothing?”
“Not a thing. I checked the Bangkok Post, and nothing new from them…no updates to the story we read yesterday. Do you think they’ll come after us?”
“Maybe. Just relax. It’ll be fine.”
“Trying.”
“So what should we do tonight then?”
“Do?”
“Yeah, do tonight…”
“I’m too fucking scared to think about doing anything…”
“Why?”
“Why? I’m fucking waiting for fifty police to show up and carry us to prison for the rest of our fucking lives, that’s why.”
“You yellow bastard!” Danny was chuckling as he said it. It was his best Monty Python impersonation.
“I don’t see how we walk out of this intact, man!”
“Well, if we’re doomed to prison, shouldn’t we at least enjoy our last couple days of freedom?”
“How the fuck can you talk like that?”
“Think about it. If we are in trouble, we should be enjoying it. But I know—nothing’s gonna happen. They might get us for assault, but they won’t get us for anything else.”
“Listen, that Lee or Alan or whoever the fuck he is…you know he’s in his cell right now trying to figure out a way to blame everything on us. He’s a cagey prick, that one…and maybe he has connections or can bribe someone.”
“Nah, I saw right through him. That’s why I swung the bottle like that. He’s a small-time con who counts on people’s good nature. He isn’t connected. Probably his first and only coke deal. Might get him killed…whoever fronted him the money for that won’t take too kindly to knowing he partied on Walking Street when he should’ve been moving that shit.”
“So you just want to pretend it didn’t happen.”
“No, I want to enjoy myself. No matter what happens, I want to get out and have some drinks. Remember, I promised to spend his money on the nastiest, skankiest whore I can find. I wasn’t joking.”
“You’re serious…you want to bar fine someone at a time like this?”
“Well, your sister is too far away, so I’ll have to settle for what I can find at Nana.”
“Yer a tit, you know that?”
“You know you make me horny when you talk like that, Malkie…I’m getting wood just hearing those words. Give us a kiss,” and he made smooching sounds.
“Fack off then. Right! I’ll go up and change. So Nana it is then?”
“Yeah, Nana. Need it cheap and easy tonight.”
XXXV
And then Danny saw her.
On the first floor. Lollipops. Also known as Pussy Mirror, due to the short skirts, lack of underwear, and the mirrored edges of the bar. It was seedier than many in Nana, and had girls who were more weathered than in others. Around him were old, fat Westerners, intently studying their prey. Sipping beers. Waiting for their Viagra to take effect.
He sat with elbows on these mirrors. Nursing his drink, and lost in thought. The last few days had been intense, and he was taking it all in…sorting the images into the library of his mind. Arranging the shelves, putting things in order.
And then he saw her.
She was in a quiet corner, away from most of the men. Short tartan skirt. Eyes downcast. Hair bleached to a light brunette. She moved subtly, almost standing still. Eyes unfocused. She seemed a million miles away. The way Danny felt.
He moved over to her end of the bar.
And their eyes met. She gave a weak s
mile. Part of her job. But Danny understood that and still he watched her. In the delay between songs, she never stopped her motion…two steps to the left, then two back to the right. She was trying to speak to him in bar girl banter.
“Hello…how you? You like me?”
But Danny didn’t pay attention. He just watched her. He was taking in the sweep of her breasts. The lines of her face. The long, slender legs. He never even looked down at the mirrored edge. He was simply watching her.
“You wan’ I sit wit you?”
He waved over to the floor boss, a large, matronly woman over fifty, as they always were, and pointed to the girl. He stood up to help her step down. It was a delicate balance coming down with long heels and a miniscule skirt. A waitress appeared to take her order for a lady drink. Then she sat next to him.
Before he said a word, Malkie was beside him. “There you are…I go take a piss and you disappear on me….some friend you are!” but Danny didn’t hear him. He was focused on her.
“What you name?” she asked.
“I’m Danny.”
“Hello, Danny,” and she offered her tiny hand for him to shake. He obliged.
“What is your name?” he asked, realizing there had been an awkward pause.
“My name Noi.”
“Nice to meet you, Noi.”
Malkie sat next to Noi.
“Nice to meet you, Danny. You come here many time?”
“No, I usually don’t. This is my first time here in a while.”
She looked at him with confusion. “Shah shah.” Slowly.
Danny reverted to Tinglish for her. “No, I not come here…only nit noi.” Only a little.
Her lady drink arrived. A small shot of tequila and a wedge of lime on a small plate. She held up her little drink, waiting for a toast. Danny raised his beer, she threw back the shot, and then sucked on the lime.
“How long you work here?”
“I work here two month.” She held up her two fingers. She then signaled the waitress, who went to get another shot.
Malkie protested. “Slow down,” he scolded.
“No, it’s okay, I don’t mind.”
Malkie looked past her at Danny. “You alright then, mate?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” He didn’t look back.
She sat with legs crossed, showing her long slender legs through fishnets. Though small in the chest, she had beautifully upturned breasts. Her long hair was just on the blonde side of brunette. Colored, of course, as many young Thais were prone to. Her small, flat nose and large smile were typical of Thais, but her darker skin said northeast. The contrast of her very brown skin and very light hair was striking, if a bit unnatural. She noticed him staring at her, and let him look, pretending to stare off into the distance. When Danny was done, she turned to regard him.
“How many time you come Nana?” she asked him.
“I come Nana teesud leoy,” often. “But I not come Lollipop mak mak,” a lot.
“You go Angelwitch?”
“Chai krup.” Yes.
“Why you come Lollipop today?” She seemed genuinely interested.
“I not know…something new. See Pussy Mirror.” He kept the Tinglish simple for her. He even pronounced it like a Thai for her, saying “mee-lol.”
She blushed. Hard. Looked away.
“You not like Pussy Mirror?”
She didn’t reply. Malkie was watching another girl, head turned away. When Danny peered his head around, he saw that her eyes were glassy and red.
“Noi, what’s wrong?”
She shook her head, then wiped a tear away. He put his hand on hers. That caused her to face forward, and he saw that both eyes had teared.
“Noi, I’m sorry.”
“I don’ like Pussy Mee-lol, Danny. I not like show my pussy to ever’body walk in here. I good girl, Danny. I not bad girl.”
“I’m sorry, Noi.”
She turned and faced him.
“I sorry too, Danny.” She put on another feeble smile. She whisked away a tear with long, painted nails. Her shot arrived, and she drank it, as before. “I work here take care my mother. She so sick, Danny. She so poor and sick. I try to fine work but nobody hire girl no have college. So I become bar girl. I hate it, Danny. I do it for my mother.”
Danny had heard the “sick mother” story a hundred times, but he knew this was different. This girl was different.
“I sorry, Danny. I know you come for good time. I sorry I cry.”
He was taking her in. Smelling her perfume. Seeing the tears. And his heart grew for her. That hadn’t happened to him yet. He always knew the arrangement before.
“Noi, I want to bar fine you, but we don’t have to have sex. I pay for weekend and we go back to my home in Rangsit, okay?”
“Rungsit?”
“Chai, Rungsit. We stay Saturday and Sunday. Dai mai?” Can you?
“Dai ka.” I can. And she had put on her faint smile again. Danny signaled the floor boss.
Malkie looked up from his beer. “You taking this one then?”
“Yeah we’re heading back to Rangsit.”
“You what?”
“Yeah, I’m taking her home for the weekend.”
“You think that’s a good idea, Danny? You gotta pay transport to get her back here and everything. Meals. Thought you were watching your pennies…”
“I’m okay.”
He worked out the bar fine with the boss. Five hundred baht for each night. A little less than twenty dollars each night.
Noi turned to him after the deal was closed. “Danny, I have to charge you ea’ night I stay. You okay?”
“Yeah Noi, I understand. Is two thousand baht each night okay?”
“Chai ka.” She smiled at him. “Let me change. Hah nahtee.” Five minutes.
Danny sat back down as she moved to the back room behind a red curtain. Most bars in Nana were exactly the same in most respects, and the red curtain separated the changing rooms from the bar.
“Danny, you’re taking her for the whole weekend?”
“I already said yeah, Malkie. What’s the problem?” He hadn’t meant to scowl.
“I’ve just never seen you do anything more than short time. You gotta watch these birds…make sure you don’t leave your camera and money laying around. She’ll be gone with all your shit.”
“I know the routine, Malkie. I’ve been here long enough.” But in his heart he knew Noi would not steal from him. He knew there was something different about her. “So do you want to ride back with us?”
“Nah, it’s only eight o’clock. I got a whole lot more drinking and fucking to do tonight.”
“Okay, champ! Who do you have your eyes on tonight?”
“Nobody here. You got the only pretty one. The rest look like a dumptruck in reverse.”
“Colorful as always, my friend!”
“I’m looking for the perfect sausage wallet for tonight. I think I’ll go back up to Angelwitch later. They always have the best looking girls. Finish me beer first! Have fun with this one.”
And then Noi was back, and they were out into the heat of the evening.
XXXVI
When he woke up, he was alone in bed. He was shaking off the sleep, and could smell the cigarettes and alcohol on himself. He also smelled perfume in his bed. There was a vacant, sweet-smelling spot beside him. He could hear movement just outside the bedroom. He threw the sheet off of him and moved to the door.
Standing above the hot plate wearing one of his dress shirts was Noi. The shirt went to her knees, and she had rolled the sleeves several times. She was cooking eggs on a skillet on the hot plate.
“Good morning, Danny. I make too much noise?”
“No…I woke up myself.”
“Eggs ready in song nahtee.” Two minutes.
He turned and went back into the room. He lay back down on the bed. He had been concerned for a second that she might take something, but he felt reassured now that he saw she was making him br
eakfast. It relieved his spirit in many ways. When she brought him a plate of eggs and a glass of juice, he smiled at her.
“Khop khun mak krup, Noi.” Thank you very much Noi.
“Mai pen rai, Danny.” You’re welcome, Danny. She lowered her eyes and smiled.
It had been so long since a woman had made him some breakfast. It had been so long since he had shared a bed with a woman, besides a quick release in a short-time room. It felt very natural to him…a bicycle he used to ride…a suit he used to wear. The smell of her. The long, soft hair. The soft skin. Slender arms. It had been long, but he quickly took them back into his life.
“Noi, may I ask you something?”
“Yes, Danny.”
“I saw a tattoo of a butterfly on your shoulder last night.”
“Chai ka…butterfly. Peesua. Pee-SUA.” She pronounced the Thai word slowly for him.
He considered it for a second. In Thailand, the butterfly was a symbol of someone who was a playboy or playgirl -- someone who flitted from person to person, the way a butterfly flits from flower to flower.
“Noi, are you a butterfly?”
Noi regarded him. “Oh Danny, I go’ tattoo when very young. I in school. I very young. No, Danny, I not butterfly girl.” He looked at her and tried to sense her honesty. “Danny, you know I bar girl to take care my mother. I hate thi’ job, but have to make money. Why you say that to me, Danny?” Then he saw the hurt on her face.
“Sorry, Noi. I just have many girls lie to me since I come to Thailand.”
“I not lie to you, Danny. I good girl. If you no’ believe me you take me back to Nana.”
“No, Noi, I’m sorry. I just have to be careful. Do you understand?”
“I understand, Danny. It okay if you not trust me. I just bar girl, right?”
And he was very sorry now. “Noi, I’m sorry. I really like you. I want to spend more time with you. If that’s okay with you.”
“It okay, Danny. But only spen’ time wit me if you trus’ me, na?” Okay?
“Okay.”
He ate his eggs, and she watched him.
XXXVII
The One Way (Changes Book 1) Page 18