The knocking on the door was insistent. Danny called out, “I’m coming!” He opened the door. Malkie stood there, then started as if to step in, but Danny’s body blocked his entrance.
“Hey mate, what’s up?” He was a bit surprised to have to step back out into the hallway.
“Hey man, I’m here with Noi. Can I call you later?”
“Oh, okay, man. Are you working tomorrow?”
“Nah, man…I’m…ah…taking some time off.”
“You okay, Danny?”
“Yeah…me and Noi are flying to Phuket tomorrow…gonna spend some beach time together.”
“Noi…the bird you took home from Lollipops?”
“Yeah.”
“Ah, okay. Danny, can you step out into the hall, man?”
“Sure, hang on.” He pushed the door part way, and then went in and told Noi he would be out for a second. He came back, closed the door, and walked to the hall window where he waited for him. Malkie’s face showed consternation.
“Danny, you just told me we should be laying low, and now you’re taking a bar girl to Phuket? What’s up, man?”
“We’re not leaving the country. What better way to show my lack of concern than going on a vacation?”
“Okay, but a bar girl? Danny, c’mon, man.”
“C’mon what?”
“A bar girl? To Phuket?”
“Careful, Malkie. I like this girl.”
“You like her? You know better than I do that you can’t take the bar out of the girl…how often have we seen that?”
“I said, be careful, Malkie.” Danny turned and faced him, and Malkie was surprised by his hard look.
“What’s this then?” Malkie couldn’t believe his friend had squared up on him. “After all we’ve been through, you’re gonna be like this? What are you gonna do? Punch me, Danny? Over a bar girl?”
“I’m not gonna punch you, man. I’m just saying don’t fuck with this girl.”
“Don’t fuck with her? She fucks for a living, Danny. Jesus Christ!”
“Don’t you dare judge her, man! Don’t you fucking dare! Am I better than her? She and I are both damaged. I don’t care what she does.”
“You may be damaged, but you’re not a fucking whore, Danny.”
“Malkie, I’m not going to say this again. You’d better stop. You’re crossing a fucking line with me. Don’t go any farther.” He felt the tension between his shoulders. Reflexively, his hands curled into loose fists.
Malkie saw these changes. He paused, and looked square into Danny’s face. He couldn’t help but point his finger at Danny.
“I’ve had your back every fucking night we’ve been out. I’ve fought your fights without question.” He carefully lowered his voice. “We stomped the fuck out of that prick Lee, and I had only met the cunt an hour before. Now you’re gonna bow up on me and fight over some twat you just bought?”
Danny couldn’t help that his arms shot out and pushed Malkie in the chest. “Stop it, asshole. I’m serious.” Though he pushed hard, he hardly moved him. The Brit was bulky. He knew in a fight Malkie would take him, but he didn’t care. But, he didn’t see fight in Malkie’s face.
“Okay, I’m an asshole. You’re ready to fight me. Right. Nice knowing you, ye cunt.” He turned and started up the steps. He then turned, and addressed Danny again. “Don’t blame me when this turns into a shitshow, got it? You can go fuck yourself instead.” And he was gone up the steps.
Danny was back in the room. He closed the door and locked it. Noi came to him, and put her arms around him. “You okay, Danny?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He didn’t mean it, but it was an automatic response.
“Danny, your friend…he not like me?”
“Don’t worry about him, Noi. He’s no problem.”
“Okay. Danny, we buy bikini for me when we go Phuket?”
“Chai krup. Anything you need. Tomorrow I go bank in morning, then we go pay your bar, and then we take taxi to Don Mueang Airport and take our flight.”
“I’m very excited! I not go Phuket before! Many my frien’…they tell me Phuket so suay suay!” Beautiful.
He loved to see her smile, but Danny was a bit lost in thought. Noi saw this and went back to packing his clothes for him. He knew he was down below ten thousand dollars in his account, and this trip would cost a few thousand. He had chosen the Andaman Beach Resort in Patong, and he knew they would spend a lot on meals in that area. He would also need to pay for her to be with him. The short walk to the beach would be welcome, though, and he was looking forward to some good meals. Patong had great nightlife and a nice beach.
He was a bit surprised at how quickly he had rifled through his savings. He had expected to make the money last longer. He would have to get back to work and begin to save a little. He wasn’t sure he could do this now that he had a girlfriend, but he would have to do his best. Noi felt special to him. He knew he had already fallen in love with her. He also knew this was going to change his life. He welcomed it. He was happy to feel these feelings again. To have a girl worth caring for. A beautiful young woman, who seemed equally intent on pleasing him.
He hadn’t been with a woman for more than sex since Melissa, and he hadn’t thought he ever could. Yet, here he was.
“Danny,” she called… “Danny, wha’ swimsuit you wan’ me pack for you?” She was smiling, holding up two different swim trunks. She seemed so small, holding up two pairs of his trunks.
He felt his heart race…her smile was so pure and so clean. “The red one.”
“Okay, teerak.” She went back to packing. Teerak. Darling. That felt better than he thought it would.
Out in the hallway, he heard someone dragging something down the stairs. He walked to the door to listen. He cracked the door a bit, and saw the back of Malkie, dragging two large black bags. He knew he was running, probably for Laos. He didn’t blame him, nor did he care. In fact, he was glad he was leaving. He knew Malkie would always judge his relationship with Noi. He was planning to make this relationship work, somehow. Better that he leave.
His relationship with Noi had changed every equation in his life.
XXXVIII
On Wednesday morning, Danny awoke to find Noi’s head resting on his shoulder. She felt so soft and feminine next to him. Her hair smelled so good. Her smooth legs pressed against his. Her small hand rested on his stomach. He nudged her a bit, and she stirred in response. She looked up at him, large dark eyes looking into his.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning.”
He pulled her chin up and kissed her. She responded. He kissed her more. She pulled him to her and they kissed with more vigor. She reached into his underwear and began to stroke him. He moved her to her back, and began to kiss down her neck, to her shoulders, to her breasts. As he entered her, she let out a soft gasp, and then her legs were around him, holding him in, pulling him inside her. He looked lovingly into her eyes. Her beautiful eyes. As they moved together, their warmth turned to heat. They began to pant and sweat. And still he looked into her eyes. Then faster movements. More panting. Her long, smooth legs squeezed him. They pushed against each other, and the sound of contact and breathing filled the room. Soft moans escaped her, and her eyes grew distant, though still locked on Danny’s. They climaxed together, and still their eyes stayed locked together, though far away at the same time. They smiled at each other. He collapsed onto her, and breathed heavily into the pillow. She lifted her chin over his shoulder, letting the warm air soothe her and dry her sweat.
They napped, holding each other.
After a light and late breakfast, they walked down to the beach. It was now nearly noon, but the beach was still only half full, as it was March and a weekday. Thai beaches are mostly filled with Westerners. Thais avoid sunlight, as it darkens their skin…though naturally dark, skin color often determines status. Along the beach Danny saw a mix of Americans and Europeans. He could tell them apart because European women
were topless and the men wore speedos. Moving in the shade when possible, numerous Thai vendors walked along selling blankets, dried squid, beads, and flowers. These Thais wore large hats, long-sleeved shirts fully buttoned, and jeans…all this despite the sweltering heat. The contrast of the underdressed Westerners and the overdressed Thais was striking.
Danny looked out to the water of Patong. The clearest water on Phuket belonged to the southernmost beaches. Patong, though, was where the best restaurants and hotels were. The water today was murky. He watched the paragliders being pulled by boats, with jet skiers zipping between. It seemed like an accident was inevitable.
They chose their seats near the water and paid. A teenaged Thai re-arranged umbrellas to ensure they had complete coverage. Danny gave him a twenty-baht tip. A waiter took their drink orders. Danny ordered a rum-and-coke and Noi ordered a fresh coconut. The drinks arrived quickly, and Danny gave another tip. The coconut came with its top cut and with a long straw. Danny felt his drink was a bit small for the price, but it was mixed strong.
She smiled at him, and took a long drink of the cold liquid. She then peeled back the top, and pulled off a piece of the soft meat. Danny watched her, in awe of her beauty. Though her hair was light, he could see the dark hair starting to grow out…just a sliver at the roots. Her body was slender, but strong. He could see the muscles of her stomach. Her small breasts were firm, and her nipples were hard through the cherry and lemon stripes of her bikini. Her skin was naturally dark, and since their arrival she had gotten darker. This was met with consternation on her part.
After she took another drink, she reached into her beach bag and pulled out a bottle of sunscreen. She began to apply this sunscreen generously on her legs. Then her stomach, chest, and arms. Danny obliged and put it on thickly on her back.
“I wish I had white skin like you, teerak.” This wasn’t the first time she had said this.
“But I love your dark skin. All you girls from Isaan have dark skin anyway. If I had your dark skin, I’d lay out in the sun, not hide in the shade.”
“Not if you were Thai people, Danny. Thai people no like dark skin.”
“But you Thais are all dark.”
“But Thai people like white skin. Farang skin.” Foreigner skin.
“I’ll never understand that.”
“In Thailand, girls with dark skin are ugly. White-skin girls are suay suay.” Beautiful.
“I’ll never understand why you Thais don’t love your own skin color…”
“Girls everywhere want to be different. Girls with straight hair wan’ curly hair. Girls with curly hair wan’ straight hair. White farang girls lay in the sun to get dark, but us Thai girls try to stay light. Maybe girls never happy with what they look like.”
“Maybe…” and it sounded logical to him.
“That why dark-skin Thai girls like me want to go to USA…we are ugly here.”
He hadn’t thought about it until now. “Would you like me to take you to the US?”
She smiled, “Sure, I go. But visa very hard for Thai girls. I’m bar girl. Your government not give me visa. Very hard.” She pronounced it “velly hahd.”
“Well, we’ll see.” Danny was drinking the last of his drink, but another arrived before he could put the glass down. He had to fish in his wallet for a tip.
Danny took a drink, and then said, “Let’s go for a swim, teerak.” He liked to use that word now.
“You go, Danny. I stay here. I just put on sunblock.”
“Okay…back in a minute.” He walked across the hot sand, and stepped into the warm, welcoming water. He sunk down up to his neck. As he swam around a bit, he looked back. He saw two younger Western men walking by, apparently looking for seats. He was a bit surprised when they stopped and talked to Noi. He noted that they were tall, lean, and athletic. Both were wearing Speedos, so they were likely European. Perhaps even Russian…many Russians in Southern Thailand. One had blonde hair, and was nearly hairless. The other was darker.
He was quickly jealous. The men were lingering, and he saw them admiring Noi’s body. He imagined the conversation they were having. The light flirtations, gaining in intensity when reciprocated. He felt hurt. Jealousy was a feeling he hadn’t felt in some time.
Unexpectedly, Noi looked over to him, and waved. She shouted, “Hi, teerak…you like water?” Being Thai, she pronounced it wah-TER.
“It’s nice out here!” he shouted back.
The men took the hint and moved on. Danny felt both proud and stupid. Proud, because his woman rebuffed the flirtations of two much more handsome strangers. Stupid because he had doubted her and was jealous over a short beach conversation.
He finished his swim and walked back up to her. Before sitting down, he kissed her.
“I love you, Noi.” He didn’t expect to say that, but there it was.
“Thank you, Danny.” She looked at him with big eyes. “Are you serious? You love me?”
“Yes, I love you.” And he knew he did.
“I love you too, Danny. I feel so good I’m wit’ you.”
Danny put his hands behind his head, and looked up at the sky.
It suddenly occurred to him that the buzzing and swirling in his mind had stopped. The constant scramble of thoughts and images…the horrific images…the smells and sounds and tastes…they were either very distant or completely gone. His mental maelstrom had calmed to a light breeze. He didn’t know when it changed, but they were no longer there…or perhaps just out of sight now. Paused. He had reached an equilibrium in his life. He felt warm, relaxed, in balance. He was with a woman he loved. She was young, and beautiful. She was sexy yet sweet. Troubling memories now felt remote. Removed. He felt…peaceful.
She was damaged. Her past was a stain on her soul. But so what? His past was darker. His soul was more stained. He could completely accept her past. She had slept with men for money. So? Hadn’t every woman he had dated have previous sexual partners? How many? Some just a few. Some more. A prostitute of a couple months probably had more, but what difference did that make? In many ways, her relationships were better, as there was just the act of sex. He saw the men who frequented Nana. Most were old. Fat. Drunk. Unlikely she ever enjoyed these encounters. So in essence he had more of a “past” than she had. He had loved and lost, whereas she was earning money to support her family. Her past was more virtuous, in that sense.
Most importantly, she made him feel alive again. She made him feel whole again. He would never forget what happened, now nearly a year ago. He would never stop missing his beautiful wife. But he could find some peace with a woman who cared for him. A woman who had suffered, but who had not let it break who she was. She had suffered in many ways far worse than he had. The poverty that drove her to sell herself was far worse than what he could imagine. He had options…she didn’t. Yet here she was…smiling, lighting his life. Making him feel confident and good. What else could he hope for from someone else?
And maybe, just maybe, he could save a wonderful young woman from a life of servitude. Sexual slavery. By taking her out of this life he would be giving one person a better life. That didn’t remove what happened last May, but perhaps it would create some goodness—he would be responsible for making a positive change. Wasn’t that worthwhile all by itself?
One small change…an iota of goodness…one kindness.
That night, he was lying with her in bed. She was on her Lenovo laptop, chatting with her friends on Facebook. She was proudly showing off their pictures from the day. His mind was moving quickly. He knew what he wanted. He had to think of a way to ask her. So he tried.
“Noi?”
“Chai ka.” She stopped typing, and looked at him.
“When we get back, I want to be with you.”
“Sure, Danny, you can come by bar anytime.”
“No, you don’t understand.”
“You don’t want to?”
“What I mean is, I want to be with you outside the bar. Together.”
“I want you to be my girlfriend…I don’t want you to work at the bar anymore.”
She smiled at him. He saw her thinking. Doing the math of their relationship.
“I mean, I want you to be with me only, Noi. I don’t want you to go back to the bar ever. I want you to be my girlfriend and live with me and be with me only.”
“Danny…” He could see her working on a response. He wasn’t patient enough, and wanted to add more to the equation she was solving in her mind.
“I want you to stay with me in Rangsit. I don’t want you to work in the bar ever again. I will take care of you, Noi. I teach, and I will have enough for us to live on.”
“Danny…” and now her eyes were down, and he saw them glassing.
“Noi, you know I love you. You know I’ll take care of you. We won’t be rich, but I’ll make enough for us.”
“Danny, you don’ unnerstand…”
“What, Noi? Explain to me.”
“I sorry…I cannot.” She put the computer down, and ran to the bathroom. He heard the door lock. He heard her begin to sob.
Her words felt like a slap in the mouth. He had been expecting a happy, tearful, welcoming embrace. Instead, he received a tearful refusal. Why?
Noi stayed in the bathroom for over an hour. Danny knocked a couple times, but she didn’t answer. Didn’t acknowledge. But he heard her softly weeping.
When she came out, Danny was on the bed, rolled away from her, facing the wall.
“Danny, I wan’ tell you why I cannot be with you. You promise you not get mad at me?”
Danny turned, and then raised himself up on one elbow. Her eyes were puffy and very red. “Is it because you don’t really love me?” Suddenly, he sounded like a needy teenage girl, and he hated that tenor in his voice.
“No, Danny. I love you, mak mak. I feel so happy when I wit’ you. I have a bad problem. If I tell you, you not ge’ mad at me, na?” Please.
“What’s wrong, Noi?” He held out his hand to her. She took it, and sat down on the bed next to him. Back straight. Eyes distant. “Please tell me.”
The One Way (Changes Book 1) Page 19