Stronger (Stark Ink Book 4)

by West, Dahlia

  She gasped and looked up at him. “You… you hurt yourself?”

  He nodded.

  “How?” she demanded. “How?!”

  “The obvious ways,” he replied. “The piercings, the boxing, working out till I collapse. There are other ways, too—things that just happen. Stabbing myself in the palm with a steak knife while I’m washing dishes; scrubbing myself raw in a hot shower.”

  Tears streamed down her face again as she listened to him.

  “I’m broken, Sienna. And it’s important that you know that. But…” He swallowed hard and crossed the room to her. “But not like your snow globe. At least, I don’t think so. I can be fixed, Sienna. I can be whole again. I believe that now. And I’m working on it.

  “For a long time I thought I was too broken for you. I didn’t know if having kids was an option, or should be. Would I touch them? Would I not touch them? Would I ever even hold them? Could I ever hold you? I didn’t want to drag you down into the dark place I was in. You’re too good for it, Sienna. You deserve better. And I am working on myself, but you still deserve better than me.”

  He took her face in his hands and gazed into her jade-green eyes. “But I want you,” he admitted. “God help us both but I want you for myself. And I realized the only way it could happen was to pull myself out rather than pulling you in. That day in my room, when you said you’d do anything for me, that’s when I knew I’d do anything for you, too.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  She looked up at him, eyes still misty, but she wasn’t crying anymore.

  Jonah watched as a firm resolve came over her face and he wasn’t sure what was going to happen, exactly, but he felt safe with her anyway.

  “Come on,” she told him and tugged his hand. Instead of leading him to the bed, she moved to the door of the apartment. Instinctively, Jonah set one foot in front of the other and followed her out.

  “Sienna,” he said quietly as they trekked down the wooden steps. It was late and the shop was closed. They were safe from prying eyes and ears, but he couldn’t imagine what they were doing.

  She led him into his own workroom and turned on the overhead light. When she faced him, her tears were dry and her damp hair fell around her shoulders, framing her face and breasts.

  She took his hands in hers and pressed his palms to her chest. “Pierce me,” she whispered. “Just like you.”

  Jonah couldn’t bring himself to take his hands away from her soft, warm flesh, but he shook his head. Some things should just remain fantasies. “No. Baby, no. I told you, no more pain. No more punishment. I—”

  “It’s not punishment,” she told him. “Not anymore. It’s ours now.” She dropped Jonah’s hands and slid her own up his shirt. Her fingers found the points of his nipples and tugged slightly.

  He sucked in a breath.

  “And it’s beautiful,” she added. “Do this for me, Jonah. For us.”

  He’d thought about having her here so many times, but he was content just to have it stay in his mind. He frowned at her, worried, now that she was standing in front of him. “Haven’t I caused you enough pain?”

  The look she gave him was dark, liquid, shot through with desire. She shook her head slowly. “No.”

  His cock jumped and he closed his eyes to gain control of himself. When that didn’t work, he reached down, gripped her around the waist, and lifted her.

  Sienna gasped in surprise, but wrapped her legs around him anyway.

  Jonah’s lips found hers (so easily at this point) and he held her against his cock as he explored her mouth with his tongue. Not getting nearly enough of her, but having a job to do, nonetheless, he crossed the room and lowered her onto the chair. His hands slid from her panty-clad ass, up her belly, and cupped her tits in his large hands.

  She moaned for him and he couldn’t help but smile.

  He pinched her, though, tweaking her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.

  She yelped and flinched.

  He hated causing her pain, but it was a good primer. It would help her decide. “It’ll be worse than that,” he informed her.

  Sienna was breathless, flushed from her cheeks to the dusky, swollen points that were now warming his palms. “You mean… it’ll be as good as that?”

  Jonah raised an eyebrow at her. “You liked it?”

  She bit her lip and nodded shyly.

  His mouth watered as he imagined his girl with a high tolerance for pain. So many places to stick her with…a needle. He squeezed her hardened peaks again before releasing her. “Lie down,” he ordered.

  Sienna nodded and pushed herself back into the chair. She stretched out before him, lacy black panties, golden tanned skin, perfect tits pointed straight to the Heaven he might end up in if he died tonight. Even if he didn’t, even if he plummeted straight to the hot place instead, it would’ve been worth it to feel her come on his fingers at least once in his life, to hear her whisper his name while at least some part of him had been inside her.

  He left her and pulled out a fresh pair of gloves from the counter.

  She watched him intently as he gathered the tools he needed. “How many girls have been in this chair?” she asked.

  Jonah shrugged and opened a drawer. “None.”

  She looked at him skeptically. “Oh, really?”

  “None of them were you. So… none.”

  She considered this for a long time before asking, “Do you ever think about me in this chair?”

  He turned to look at her, his eyes narrowing. “Every minute of every fucking day,” he half-whispered.

  She shivered and gripped the arms of the chair.

  Jonah groped in the back of the drawer and pulled out a small, hinged box. He turned to her and opened the lid slowly, holding his breath. In the overhead light, the nipple shields twinkled. Jonah frowned, though, when he held them up. “Well, they don’t match your eyes exactly,” he declared. “But like I said before, few things do.”

  Sienna’s eyes widened. She sat up and gasped. “Oh, my God! Jonah, they’re beautiful! You bought them? For me?”

  He nodded but didn’t tell her that he hadn’t meant to. He’d been flipping through Adam’s supply catalog one day and came across them. It was the first time he’d ever thought about her in his chair, in his life. These glittering gems had started it all.

  “I didn’t know if you’d ever wear them,” he said. “Or want to. I wasn’t even going to bring it up for a good, long while. If ever.” He smiled at her. “You beat me to it, though. Like always.”

  Sienna beamed at the jewelry in his palm. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” she told him. “Do lots of other girls have them like this?”

  He shook his head. “Nah. They’re not the most common.” He didn’t tell her it was because few people could afford them. He didn’t mention that the stones were real. All that mattered was that she liked them. He’d buy her a dozen pairs in every color of the rainbow if that was what she wanted.

  Jonah reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. He gently pushed her back down into the chair. He let his gloved finger trail down between her breasts, stroking one lightly.

  She shivered again.

  He was beginning to like that.

  “Don’t move when I have my hands on you,” he told her, then he grinned. “At least, not when you’re in the chair.”

  He straddled the stool, set the box down on the cart next to him, and palmed an alcohol-soaked swab. He kissed her then, slowly, softly. She ran her hands through his hair, pulling him ever closer. With his free left hand he sought her nipples once again, tugging, tweaking, and rolling them between his fingers, getting her ready.

  Before she got too carried away, he ran the warmed swab over her plump buds. “They’re going to swell,” he whispered into her mouth.

  “Huh?” she asked, in-between kisses.

  “Your nipples are going to swell. They may never be the same again.”

  She pulled back and looked up
at him. That familiar smirk played across her lips, the way it did when she was feeling confident.

  Jonah didn’t think he saw enough of that smirk to suit him.

  “Jonah, I don’t think any part of me is ever going to be the same again after you.”

  He hoped to God that was true. He cupped one perfect, creamy swell and swabbed her flushed red nipple again with the alcohol-soaked pad. Then he picked up the tweezers and captured it gently. He checked the placement three times and then marked it with a pen before moving to the other.

  Sienna’s breathing became shorter and shorter in nervous anticipation.

  “I need to get this perfect,” he told her quietly. “Close your eyes. I’m right here, Sienna. I’m doing this. No one else. I will never let anyone else touch your body. And you know I’ll take care of you.”

  She closed her eyes as ordered and licked her lips. He waited for a nod before he re-captured one of her nipples. He carefully threaded the hole with the unyielding steel needle (a preview of coming attractions). He abandoned it and picked up another immediately, not wanting to draw this out for her if he could help it.

  He seized her other nipple and pushed the second needle through.

  Sienna squealed a bit and her fingers dug into the leather of the armrests and he knew she was hurting.

  He pushed the barbells of the shields into the hollow core of each needle and tightened the caps. Dozens upon dozens of previous clients had made Jonah’s fingers nimble and exacting. Within seconds, both piercings were done.

  He pushed the cart away and swept her closer to him, careful to keep his distance from her torso. He kissed her cheeks and then her lips. “Thank you,” he breathed, holding her tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You were so brave, baby. God, I love you so much. I can’t believe you’d do this for me.”

  She shook her head and wiped away her tears. “For us,” she reminded him.

  He stared at her in disbelief. “I don’t know if I’ll ever deserve you.”

  Sienna took his hand and squeezed it firmly. “Don’t say that again,” she warned.

  Jonah remained silent.

  “I mean it, Jonah. Don’t say it again.

  He finally nodded. He might not be able to stop thinking it, but he wouldn’t voice it to her ever again. Instead, he asked, “Does it hurt too much?”

  Sienna shook her head, blinking away the last of the tears. “It always hurts with us. But never too much.” She looked up at him while still squeezing his hand tightly. “Make love to me, Jonah. I need you to make love to me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Carrying her upstairs was the work of a few minutes. Jonah could have carried her across town, across the Badlands, if need be. He would, too, for the chance to do as she’d asked him to.

  He dipped his tongue into her navel, already longing for the day he could pierce that as well.

  Sienna giggled, sending ripples of hot flesh dancing over his tongue. As though she’d read his mind, she said, “One thing at a time.”

  He slid down, parting her swollen lips, and swirled her clit.

  She was nervous. Her thighs shook on either side of him as he made love to her with his mouth. He could tell she’d never done this before, either, unsure as she was about it. He slid his hands between Sienna and the mattress, cupping her soft flesh, and lifted her to his lips.

  His tongue thrust inside her. Her delicate flavor sent another surge through his lower half. His cock longed to replace his tongue, filling her, claiming her, loving her. He held off, though, knowing she couldn’t orgasm with him inside her, not the first time, and Jonah was determined to make her come once more before he hurt her again.

  He licked her sweet folds, finding any tiny inch that hadn’t yet been touched. His lips clamped over her clit and sucked it hard.

  Sienna’s hips rose off the bed, her hands threaded through his thick hair. Wild now, she pushed him closer. Mewling, desperate cries erupted from her throat as he bit down gently on her throbbing bud.

  She cried out in orgasm, ten times more powerful than the one he’d given her with his fingers. Sienna’s sweet cream flooded into his mouth as he dipped lower to savor every drop.

  She collapsed back onto the mattress, gasping, sweating, crying out his name.

  Jonah rubbed his cheek against her inner thigh, loving that he’d done this to her. Once she calmed down, he moved away and reached for the nightstand drawer.

  As he pulled out a condom, Sienna grasped his wrist. “Do you have to?” she whispered.

  He frowned at her. “Sienna—”

  “I don’t want anything between us. Ever.”

  He hesitated. “But—”

  Sienna placed her hands on his arms and pulled him to her. “God gives blessings, too, Jonah. He doesn’t always look the other way.”

  Jonah searched her eyes, making absolutely sure of her desire before he slid his leg in between hers. He lowered himself slowly, left arm holding his own body just inches above hers. His bicep flexed but didn’t waver. Jonah could have held himself like that all night, if he had to, if that was what it took to keep from hurting her any more than he had to.

  His whole body existed only to keep her from harm. He’d challenged it, punished it, honed it, over and over, to make sure he could protect her. From anyone, from everything, even from himself.

  Jonah was hers, and he wanted her to know it.

  He took her hand, pulled it down between them, and placed it on his shaft. His cock jerked in response. All his years of self-discipline kept him hard despite her soft touch. Sienna squeezed gently and Jonah closed his eyes while his lips searched for her ear. “When you’re ready,” he told her. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  Her lips found the hollow of his throat and sucked at his skin. Her warm mouth and hand anchored him, let him know what was at stake. This was Sienna underneath him, his Sienna. A single tear escaped from under his lashes and dropped to her cheek. Jonah’s chest heaved as he fought to drag in a ragged breath. Memories swirled around him and inside him, both good and bad.

  He struggled to capture the good ones and hold on to them tightly in his mind. “I love you,” he said, his voice cracking under the strain. “I’ve always loved you. Sienna,” he whispered. “I… I waited for you, too.” He thought maybe it wasn’t loud enough, that she hadn’t heard him.

  But with her free hand, Sienna wiped his tear-stained cheek and then threaded her fingers through his hair. “Shhh. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” she said, giving his own words back to him.

  Sienna was strong where he was weak, unfailing whenever he faltered. She always seemed to know what he needed and never hesitated to give it to him. Her lips found his ear as she guided him to her entrance. “I love you, too. Forever starts tonight,” she whispered as she helped him inside.

  A million stars burst behind his eyes as her heat enveloped him. He pushed in slowly, as carefully as he could. A small noise escaped her lips and he knew he was hurting her. He started to pull back, but Sienna urged him on, lifting her hips, pressing her hands into his back.

  Her pussy flooded, wet for him, always wet for him, as he buried himself deep. A raw, ragged cry tore from his throat as they fit together perfectly, lock and key, body and soul. As he entered her, she entered him and her soul filled the void where his own had been taken from him.

  As she had for him, he took her pain and transformed it, made it beautiful. He surged inside her, filling her with his seed.

  Sienna pushed up her hips, urging him deeper. Her hands pressed into his back and her legs tightened around him. She didn’t finish, but he knew it was because she couldn’t. He’d hurt her too much. But he’d make it up to her, every night, in every way. Their whole lives stretched out before them and he’d spend every second being the lover she deserved.

  Her words were true, more than she could possibly know.

  Forever started tonight.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jonah kissed S
ienna lightly on the side of the head, gentle enough not to wake her. He slipped out of bed and dressed in the dark. Jeans, boots, a black T-shirt, and he was out the door of the apartment, creeping quietly down the wooden steps.

  In the parking lot out behind Stark Ink, the saddlebags of his Harley already bulged with his boxing gloves. He slid on the helmet and rolled the bike down the alley without starting the engine. Satisfied he was out of earshot, he fired up the engine and turned onto the street.

  As he crossed Rapid City on the way to his final fight, a light rain started to fall. The light of the nearly full moon silvered the drops that splashed across the pavement. It was a night to be home, curled up next to the person you loved. Jonah intended to get in and get out. Collect his winnings and get back home before Sienna ever even knew he’d been gone.

  He’d come clean afterward, after all was said and done. No part of their new life could be built on a lie, however tiny. He’d tell her the truth and whatever irritation she had would dissipate when she saw the life, the future, he’d been building for them. She’d get over it.

  Jonah searched the maze of Rapid City’s partially abandoned warehouse district until he found the right address. It was hard to tell if the building North had chosen tonight was an old factory or just another warehouse that had fallen into disuse. Cars, bikes, and SUVs filled the tiny lots that lined the two-lane road. Even without the benefit of the actual address, anyone could just follow the cars.

  Jonah parked half a block away, under an overhang in case the rain got worse. His bike was tucked, strategically again, behind a dumpster. He pocketed the keys, grabbed his gloves, and followed the noise.

  The doorman nodded to him and let him inside immediately. Jonah nearly burst out laughing when he saw that North had constructed an actual cage. In the center of the building was a large, chain-link box. Around it, portable lights had been moved in and aimed at it.