What kind of life did this woman have?
“Nanna is not in trouble, Sophia. She’s my grandmother. It’s great that you’re spending time with her. It will be good for you.”
I go sit next to her and take her right hand in both of mine.
“Sophia,” she scoots closer, her face turned to me. But her eyes are on my chest. “I’m going to ask you some questions. It will help me understand you better. Is that okay with you?”
She nods and then smiles the same brilliant smile from the first night I saw her. Even with the bruises, she still has the beauty of an angel.
For a moment I drink it in before I ask, “Yesterday, you said that you were born a slave. Who raised you?”
“The other slaves.” She nods as if to confirm what she just said.
“How old were you when you started to work as a slave?” The more I know about her, the easier it will be to help her. I tell myself this, as I try to prepare for her answer.
“Eight, just like Jack. Before we came of age to please a Master or Mistress, we were only allowed to clean the house. I can start with that today. Just until I’ve healed and my appearance is acceptable, so I won’t offend a Master or Mistress.”
Her answer comes without any hesitation or emotion. I turn my body towards her. I want to comfort her even though she doesn’t show any emotion. I have to believe that somewhere deep inside of her she still feels, that emotions aren’t lost to her.
I take a deep breath and link my fingers with hers. My hands swallow hers, and it makes me feel fiercely protective of the fragile beauty beside me.
“Do you know how old you are now?”
She smiles and nods. “I’m twenty four, Master.”
“Adam,” I whisper patiently. “Focus on calling me Adam.”
She ducks her head and I’m scared she feels reprimanded. I take hold of her chin and nudge her face up until I can see her eyes.
“I love seeing your eyes, Sophia. Don’t hide them.”
She looks up at me, her movements tentative and almost shy. How’s it possible that someone who has been a sex slave for so long can still have so much innocence?
“What’s your last name?”
The innocent look disappears and makes way for a confused one.
“I don’t understand,” she whispers.
I point to myself. “I’m Adam Stone. Stone is my last name.”
She shakes her head lightly. “I’m only Sophia.”
My heart shatters right there. They’ve taken everything from her. They’ve stripped her bare.
I need to do something to keep the anger under control. I get up and pull her up alongside me.
“Let’s go clean your wounds. Do you want to shower today? Do you think you can manage that?”
“Yes, Mast-” she bites her bottom lip and whispers, “Please, Adam.”
Just like that, my anger vanishes. I press a kiss to her forehead and let my mouth linger against her skin. “You’re gonna be just fine, Sweetheart.”
Chapter Sixteen
Sophia~
I finish with my shower and put on a yellow dress. I like the dresses, they make me feel pretty. They’re soft and they swish around my legs.
I’m tired of staying in bed. I need to work to earn my keep. Miss Ella said so yesterday. I make my way down the stairs and at the bottom I peek left then right.
A girl comes from the right side but she stops when she sees me. I don’t know if I’m allowed down here. I take a step back up the stairs. I should go back before I get in trouble.
“No, wait,” the girls says quickly. She’s pretty with her dark hair and soft, grey eyes. “It’s okay, you’re allowed anywhere. There are no rules about where you can go.”
How did she know?
She looks down at her feet and it makes me drop my eyes. “I’ve only been here a year. I still feel it most of the time, the impulse to submit. It takes some time getting used to the idea of not being a sex slave anymore.” She starts to walk and goes right by me.
“Wait,” I say quickly, before she disappears.
She stops and glances at me from over her shoulder,
“Where’s the kitchen?” I ask.
She waves for me to follow. “This way.”
I stay close to her. I don’t want to get lost. We walk down a short hallway which opens up into a huge kitchen.
I stop and stare. There are pretty little things everywhere.
“Sophia,” Miss Ella says with a huge smile on her face. “Come in, sweet girl. Come sit. I’ll fix you some coffee.”
I do as I’m told, and take a seat in the chair nearest to me. I can’t stop my eyes from hopping all over the place. It’s so pretty in here. It feels warm and full, not empty like the last kitchen I worked in.
Miss Ella places a mug on the table. I smile at her and take a sip, my eyes still flitting all over the place.
“I’ve been collecting them for years.” She points to the biggest one. “That ole’ rooster clock has been with me for over thirty years. It stopped working long ago.” She points to a whole lot of different ones. “I collect just about every farm animal there is.”
Miss Ella picks some up and places the tiny sculptures in front of me.
“I love these most.”
I point to the cow with the huge belly. “That one looks funny.”
“He sure does,” Miss Ella says, smiling at me.
“Hey,” Master Adam says. He comes in from outside and I have to concentrate hard not to kneel.
“Morning,” I take a deep breath, “Adam.”
He smiles at me, looking proud. If it pleases him to use his name, then I’ll do it. The last few days have been out of this world, and I’ll do anything for it to stay this way. No one has shouted at me. No one has hit me.
Adam comes to stand by me and he says, “You don’t have to say morning every time you see me. There’s no anger in his tone so I just nod.
I look down at the coffee and then back up to Miss Ella. “Can I work, please? I’ll do anything.”
“My sweet child.” She pats the space over her heart. “When you say things like that, I just go and get all tearful. Finish your coffee and I’ll give you something to do.”
I drink the coffee as fast as I can. It’s still a bit hot but I really want to work. I take the mug over to the sink and quickly wash it.
“You can break these open in this bowl.” There’s a bowl with eggs in it and an empty one. “Just leave the shells in this bowl.” She points to the one with the eggs in it.
I smile as I go to stand in front of the counter. I pick up the first egg, and crack it carefully so I don’t make a mess. I’m on my sixth egg when Master Adam comes to stand next to me.
He leans against the counter and tilts his head slightly towards me. “How do you feel today?”
I smile widely but keep my eyes on the eggs. I’ve noticed that he likes it when I smile.
“I’m feeling much better.”
“That’s great. Don’t overdo it today. Take it easy.”
I dare a glance at him, but when our eyes meet, I quickly look away again. My chest feels funny when I look in his eyes.
Miss Ella shows me how to make pancakes. I’m so excited when I manage to make one that doesn’t break before I can get it on a plate.
I’m just about to pour more pancake mixture in the pan when a man comes into the kitchen. I drop the measuring cup and sink to my knees. My heart is beating out of my chest as I stare at the mess I’ve made.
Oh no! I’m going to get into so much trouble for making a mess on the floor.
“Fuck, I forgot,” the man snaps. I duck my head lower to the floor and bring my arms close to my sides so I can cover them when he kicks me for making a mess. My sides are still hurting from the other punishment.
“Tristan! Now look what you’ve done,” Miss Ella scolds. She takes hold of my shoulders and pulls at me. “Get up, child. There will be no kneeling in this house unless you’re
kneeling to the Lord.”
I stand up next to Miss Ella and she brushes over my dress, straightening it out.
“Get to work, Tristan. Don’t just stand there!” Miss Ella scolds him again.
“I’m sorry, Sophia. I didn’t know you were up and about. I’m Tristan, one of the guards.” He looks at Miss Ella and he smiles at her. “Can a man have some coffee before work?”
Master Tristan is a guard, like Master Sven. I wonder if he will be the one in charge of me and Jack.
“Drink your coffee and get going. You’re scaring the poor child.”
Master Tristan takes a mug and leaves. He listened to Miss Ella?
“Are you in charge of everyone?” I ask. I want to know who I have to please the most.
Miss Ella lets out a little burst of laughter. “No one is in charge here. We’re all one big family, which you’re a part of now.”
Family. The word brings warmth to my heart.
***
The next morning, I get up early with Miss Ella. I want to learn everything I can from her.
We have coffee before she shows me how to make fluffy scrambled eggs. After breakfast, I help wash up all the dishes.
I put the last plate back in the cupboard when Miss Ella goes into the little room next to the kitchen. She comes out with a whole bucket filled with potatoes.
“We need to get all of these peeled. I want to make cottage pies.”
Miss Ella gives me a knife, and I get to work peeling the potatoes. I really like working in the kitchen. I would be so happy if I could stay here and just help Miss Ella the whole day long.
Not long after I’ve started, Mistress Ryland comes into the kitchen. She tells me to walk with her. I get up and follow her outside. I’m too nervous to look around me, and hardly take in anything she says.
She introduces me to the other people living here but I don’t bother remembering their names. It’s stupid to learn someone’s name if you won’t know them for long.
It’s on the way back to the house that she tells me to call her River.
When I’m back in the kitchen and peeling the potatoes, I think over the last thing she said to me. She said I won’t be needed for sex anymore.
All the excitement I felt earlier, is now gone. If I won’t be needed for sex, then it’s only a matter of time before they dispose of me. I should’ve prepared sooner for this. It’s like Master David said – every hole has an expiration date. I was hoping that I would last a couple more years, before I reached my expiration date.
Chapter Seventeen
Adam~
We sit down to have dinner with Nanna. Sophia keeps her eyes on the plate in front of her, not even looking up when Nanna talks to her.
I get an uneasy feeling something happened today.
“Sophia,” I say softly.
She swallows hard on the bite of food she just took.
“Yes, Master?”
I reach over and feel her forehead. She’s not hot so the fever’s not back.
“Are you feeling okay? How’s the pain?”
She takes a deep breath and then forces a smile to her lips. “Miss Ella gave me painkillers. I’m feeling okay.”
I look at Nanna and frown. “What happened while I was gone?”
Nanna looks at Sophia and then sighs heavily. “She’s been like this ever since River mentioned that she should share a room with Diane and Lizzy.”
Sophia brings the fork to her mouth. I don’t miss how her hand is trembling, which makes my concern grow. I gently place my hand on the back of her neck, and for the first time she tenses under my touch.
“You don’t have to share a room with them,” I say. I don’t think she’s upset because she has to share a room. It’s something else. “Is that what’s wrong?”
She places the fork back on the plate, and keeps staring at the food.
“I don’t mind, Master,” she whispers, and the numb tone grates at my ears.
I get up and take Sophia’s hand. “Thank you for dinner, Nanna.”
Nanna smiles at me, her eyes shining with tears. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
“Thanks, Nanna.”
I pull Sophia closer and link my fingers with hers. I walk out the backdoor and I feel a slither of relief when she stays close to me. That means it’s not something I did.
We take a few steps into the darkness when she slows down next to me. I glance at her and see that she’s staring up at the night sky.
I look up at the clear night. It’s beautiful out here. The stars are out in full force tonight.
I slow my pace so she can look around, not that she’ll be able to see much in the dark. We walk past the guest houses which the guards use. Tristan comes out of his as we pass his house.
“Nice night for a stroll,” he says, and then walks in the direction of the house. I know he’s going to check on Diane. I’ve seen him watching her. I once asked if he had feelings for her, which he of course denied.
When we get to my house, I open the door. Smiling down at her, I say, “Go in.”
She takes a few tentative steps inside and then stops.
“Welcome to my home,” I say as I walk past her. “I have two bedrooms. You’re welcome to have the guest room, then you won’t have to share. It’s more private here.” I open the fridge and pull a face at the contents. “I can only offer you beer or coffee.” I glance at her, and the disoriented look on her face guts me.
I walk over to her and duck my head closer to hers. “Tell me what happened today. What upset you like this?”
She shakes her head and her hair glides over her shoulders. She’s healing fast. The black marks around her eyes are fading to brown.
I take hold of her chin, nudging her face back up so she’ll look at me.
“Tell me, Sophia.” She takes a breath and opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. “When I left you this morning you were doing so well.”
She bites her bottom lip her whole face crumbles. Tears sneak from her eyes, each one finding its way to my heart.
“Sweetheart,” I whisper. I pull her into my arms and gently caress her hair. “Tell me so I can fix it.”
She covers her face with her hands and her shoulders jerk with her cries. Fuck, this is breaking my heart. She didn’t cry after the beating and that must’ve hurt a shitload. She’s been putting up such a brave front.
“I’m … scared,” she finally sobs out. She takes a shuddering breath. “I don’t … understand … anything.” She looks up at me with the bluest eyes, swimming in fear and confusion. “I want to please Master, but I don’t know how.” She slips from my arms to the floor and kneels in front of me. She scoots close to my leg like a dog. “Please don’t dispose of me, Master. I’m still good to work a few more years.” She hiccups all through the words.
Rage explodes white and hot behind my eyes. I’m shaking from the anger pulsing through my body. I’m going to kill every last fucking one of those bastards. I swear I am.
I kneel down in front of her and cup her face with both my hands. “This must all be so confusing to you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Her eyes keep darting from my chest to my face, and back down. She’s totally out of balance. She’s busy losing her old habits, but she doesn’t have new ones, and that makes her feel lost.
“I’m going to tell you exactly what I expect of you, Sophia. Everything you learned through your life was wrong. I’m going to teach you the right way.”
I get up, pulling her up alongside me. I walk over to the couch so we can sit for this conversation. I place my arm around her shoulders, and pull her into my chest.
“My parents died when I was young, so Nanna raised me. She taught me everything I know. You like Miss Ella, don’t you?”
She nods against my chest. “I do.” The words come out hoarsely.
“She told me a good person will always look you in the eye. Bad people don’t make eye contact. You were taught to never make eye contact because th
ose people didn’t want you to see the monsters they were. They didn’t want to see the person you are, the person they were hurting.”
Placing my hand on the side of her jaw, I nudge her face up. “I want you to look me in the eyes, because I want to see what type of person you are. I want you to look in mine, so you can see I’m not one of those people.”
She turns her face slightly away from me and whispers, “What if I’m bad? What if Master looks in my eyes and Master sees that I’m bad?”
I bring her face back to mine and I’m happy when she makes eye contact this time. That’s one win.
“Sophia, we all have good and bad in us, but it’s your reason behind your actions that matters. The people you’ve known all your life were greedy, sadistic monsters. Everything they did was for their own gain. Good people don’t beat on others. They don’t keep other people as slaves. Good people don’t kill other people.”
She gasps and her eyes drop back down. I watch her pale as I continue.
“Some of us do it anyway. Some kill for the pleasure of taking another’s life, and they are bad. Some kill to protect others, and I’d like to believe that they are good. Some kill to protect themselves, and I can’t possibly believe that makes you bad. You have a right to defend yourself and those you love.”
I lift her face back to mine and whisper, “I’ve killed people. I’ve killed bad people, and people who have been a threat to my loved ones. I’m not proud of it, but I’d do it again to protect my country and those I love. To some people, there’s no excuse in taking another’s life, but those people have never faced a moment where they had to choose between their loved ones and the person threatening them. Those people judge what we do and our reasons for our actions.”
I place my hand over her heart and feel it beating wildly.
“You have to do what you feel is right inside of you. I’ve done bad things for good reasons.” I take a breath before I get to the point. “Sophia, you were forced to do bad things by bad people. Anything bad you might’ve done was purely for your own survival. I will never judge you. No one here at the sanctuary will judge you.”
She tilts her head slightly and peeks up at me, and I can’t help but smile. This girl is something else.
Filthy: A Dark Romance (A Damaged Romance Duet Book 2) Page 7