A Love Like This

by Maria Duffy

  ‘I’ll help.’ Silvia hopped up, gathered the empty plates and followed George into the kitchen, leaving Will and his mother alone.

  ‘Is there something you’re not telling me, William?’ His mother was no fool. ‘Now I hope you’re not going to make me a grandmother at my age.’

  ‘Mum!’ Will couldn’t believe his ears.

  ‘Because you both need to get your careers going before any of that nonsense.’

  Any of that nonsense? He’d heard it all now. He’d been just about to reassure her that Silvia wasn’t pregnant but now he felt like pretending she was.

  ‘William. Please tell me you haven’t been silly.’

  ‘Here we go.’ Silvia was back in the room with a huge centrepiece bowl of profiteroles. ‘George is on his way with the coffee.’

  Will stood up, his face red with fury. He wasn’t going to let his mother get away with talking like that. But then he looked at Silvia. He saw how happy she looked and how well she’d already settled in with his family. He couldn’t make her feel uncomfortable.

  ‘Here, let me take that,’ he said, taking the dessert and placing it on the table. He sat back down and did what he’d always done. He bit his tongue and said nothing.

  He wished he could feel really happy. He knew he was very lucky and should be on top of the world right now but there was a little black cloud hanging over him and he just couldn’t seem to be rid of it. He wondered for a moment if that’s how Jack had felt. Maybe he was depressed, just like Jack had been. Maybe if Jack had recognised the symptoms and sought help, he wouldn’t have allowed himself to get to that point of desperation.

  His bad hand, as he called it, tingled and, just like it always did, it brought him back to Christchurch and to that awful day. Maybe that was it. Maybe he hadn’t dealt with what had happened on that day. A picture of Donna came into his mind and he remembered what it was like to feel completely happy. It sounded weird, but that hour he’d spent with her in the coffee shop was the happiest hour of his life. It dawned on him that maybe he hadn’t tried hard enough to find her. That was it! He’d try and figure out a way to trace her and, if he did, maybe it would be the missing piece of the puzzle.

  ‘I’ll have a double helping of those,’ he said, as his mother dished out dessert. He was suddenly feeling much brighter. It was good to have a purpose in life. He knew that his motivation should be Silvia and the wedding, but right now the thing that excited him – the thing that made him feel alive – was the thought of finding Donna.

  * * *

  ‘Donna! What’s come over you? That wine will never come out of the sofa. The landlord isn’t going to be happy when he sees— Donna? Are you okay? What’s wrong?’

  Donna was hyperventilating. ‘Th— this guy … he – he’s the one you wanted me to meet?’

  ‘Yes. Will. What about him?’

  ‘It’s him, Lexie. It’s him.’ Donna flopped back on the sofa, careful to avoid the area saturated by wine, and held the picture to her chest. Big fat tears dropped down her face.

  ‘It’s who? Jesus, Donna. Either I’m a complete idiot or you’re not making any sense.’

  ‘William. My William. I can’t believe I’ve spent almost two years wondering what had happened to him and all this time you knew him.’

  Lexie looked confused for a moment and then her eyes lit up. ‘Noooooo! Are you serious? Are you saying Will is the guy you met in Christchurch? The earthquake guy?’

  Donna nodded and looked at the picture again. ‘He said his name was William. And, yes, he’s the one.’

  ‘Oh my God! What are the chances? That’s completely bonkers.’

  Donna shot forward, almost knocking Lexie’s wine this time. ‘So is he okay? You said earlier about that picture being the last time you saw him – have you spoken to him?’

  ‘Donna, I’m sorry but both Brendan and I lost touch with Will after that night. He had to rush home to Ireland because his father was sick and he never came back.’

  ‘But when exactly was that, Lexie?’ Donna was desperate for information.

  ‘Just before your visit. Remember? I was going to set you two up on a date but he had to leave before you came. Actually, that night was his birthday – if I remember correctly your birthdays are on the same day!’

  Donna stood up and started pacing around the room. ‘But he must have gone back over to Australia because when I met him in New Zealand, he said he’d been travelling around.’

  ‘Now that I think of it,’ said Lexie, dabbing at the red wine stain, ‘he rang Brendan some time later and said he was travelling up the coast. I think they had words. Brendan had been keeping Will’s job open for him and he never said he wouldn’t be back. Quick, grab me a carton of milk.’

  Donna stopped pacing and stared at her friend. ‘What on earth for?’

  ‘This stain. I heard somewhere that if you pour milk onto a red wine stain it can make it disappear.’

  ‘Forget about the stain,’ said Donna, irritably. ‘Tell me what you know about Will.’

  Lexie continued to blot the stain with tissues. ‘Just grab me the milk, will you? I can talk and work at the same time.’

  Donna grabbed a half-full litre of milk from the fridge and passed it over to Lexie. ‘So Brendan might be still in touch with him, then. Will you ask him for his number for me? This is unbelievable.’

  ‘I can ask him, but I can’t guarantee anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wiped Will’s number from his phone after the last call.’

  Lexie was pouring milk over the stain and Donna watched doubtfully as it dripped onto the floor. ‘Isn’t it likely that we’ll end up with a clean sofa but a stink of milk?’

  ‘Well, we’ll deal with that if it happens.’ Lexie’s face was almost touching the sofa as she tried to make the pink stain disappear. ‘And can you please sit down, Donna? You’re making me nervous with all that pacing.’

  ‘Sorry.’ She pulled a chair from the little kitchen and sat down heavily. ‘But even if Brendan doesn’t have his number any more, surely someone else does. What about the people in the bar where he worked? Surely there’s someone who’s still in touch with him.’

  ‘Maybe,’ said Lexie, sitting back to survey her work. ‘I’ll give Brendan a ring tomorrow and see what I can find out.’

  Donna went over and hugged her friend. ‘Thanks, Lexie. I can’t believe that I might actually find him after all this time.’

  Lexie nodded but looked serious. ‘But what next?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘If you find him, Donna, what happens then? Are you both going to ride off into the sunset together? And what about Bob? Where does he figure in all of this?’

  Donna felt guilty. She hadn’t thought about Bob for one second while her head was full of William and the chance of finding him. If she was honest, riding off into the sunset with William was exactly what she’d been thinking about. But if and when she found William and if he felt the same way about her, she’d have to have a serious chat with Bob. But would that mean not only losing her boyfriend, but losing the mother figure she’d grown to love? Would Jan abandon her if she hurt her only son? Right now it was all ifs and maybes but she’d have to brace herself – the coming weeks could be the start of a very bumpy ride!

  Chapter 31

  Lexie shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Donna. The only number Brendan has for him isn’t in use. He was probably using a “pay as you go” phone over there and just got rid of it when he left.’

  ‘But somebody else must have contact details for him. Surely a person can’t just disappear off the planet, for God’s sake!’ Donna knew she sounded desperate but she couldn’t help it. It was like she’d just been given the greatest gift and it had been snatched away from her before she had the chance to open it.

  Lexie sighed. ‘Come on over and sit down, Donna. You’ll wear a hole in the carpet at this rate.’

  Donna did as she was told. ‘I’m sorry I’m being so crazy about all t
his, but I just can’t believe I might be about to lose him again.’

  ‘Lose him?’ Lexie looked worried. ‘Donna, sweetie, how can you say you lost him when you never really had him in the first place? You need to get perspective on this. You knew him for what, all of one hour?’

  ‘I knew you wouldn’t understand. That’s why I didn’t tell you about him for so long. I should have just kept my mouth shut.’

  Lexie looked hurt and Donna immediately regretted her outburst. ‘I’m sorry, Lexie. I’m turning into a mad woman. But can you just make a few more phone calls and see if we can get a contact number for him?’

  ‘The only other person who might have contact details for him is Jonah. He owns the bar.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘Right,’ sighed Lexie, picking up the phone again. ‘I’ll give him a try but then I need to get going. I’m in work at twelve and I haven’t even washed myself yet.’

  ‘Thanks, Lexie. You’re a star.’

  But it wasn’t long before Donna’s mood dipped again. The only contact number Jonah had for Will was the same one that Brendan had and the address on file was his Perth one.

  ‘So that’s it,’ said Lexie, standing up and stretching. ‘I’ve filled Brendan in so all we can do is hope Will contacts him again.’

  Donna perked up suddenly. ‘His surname. Why didn’t I think of that before? What’s his surname? Maybe now I can find him on Twitter or Facebook. It was impossible with just a first name.’

  Lexie’s face was grim. ‘Unfortunately, it’s “Smith”. “Will Smith”. Somehow I don’t think your task has been made any easier.’

  Donna opened her mouth to say something but instead began to cry.

  ‘Oh, for God’s sake, Donna, look at yourself.’

  ‘It’s just that … I thought I was going to—’

  ‘Seriously, you need to get a grip. I know you’re frustrated about not being able to trace him but you need to start looking at what you’ve got instead of chasing some sort of dream.’

  ‘You just don’t understand.’

  ‘You’re damn right I don’t. Do you know what I’d give to have what you have? You have a gorgeous man who loves you like crazy. Have you forgotten that? And what would he think if he knew you were off chasing another man? You could end up losing everything. Start living in the real world.’ Lexie spat the words out before going into the bathroom and slamming the door.

  Donna had never seen Lexie so mad and she wasn’t sure whether she should go after her or just let her cool down. But before she could decide, Lexie came breezing back out to the living room and still looked angry.

  ‘Listen, I’m sorry for shouting at you like that. I was out of order.’

  Donna was relieved. ‘Don’t worry about it. We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment.’

  ‘Oh, don’t get me wrong, Donna. I meant everything I said.’

  ‘But I thought—’

  ‘I just shouldn’t have shouted, that’s all. I still think you’re being stupid and you’re running the risk of making a mess of your life.’

  ‘That’s harsh, Lexie.’

  ‘It’s just because I care about you, Donna.’ Lexie sat back down beside her and her tone was softer. She took her hand. ‘Forget about Will or William or whatever he calls himself. Give all your energy to Bob. He deserves your full attention and you deserve to be happy.’

  Donna thought about arguing her point but she felt defeated. ‘You’re right, Lexie. You’re always right. I’m such an idiot.’

  ‘Well, they do say that love is blind. Just open your eyes and see what’s in front of you. Don’t let him slip away.’

  ‘I won’t,’ said Donna, hugging her friend. ‘I’m so glad you’re here, Lexie. What would I do without you?’

  ‘It works both ways, Donna. Now I really need to go and get ready. Why don’t I come along with you tonight and maybe we can grab a bite to eat after?’

  ‘Come along where?’

  ‘Have you forgotten today is Wednesday?’

  ‘Oh God, yes, of course I’d love you to come along. It will be nice to have company for a change. Will I meet you in town after work?’

  ‘Yep, outside my place at four?’

  ‘Perfect.’ Donna headed into her bedroom and threw herself on the bed. Thank God she wasn’t working today. She wasn’t in the mood. She needed to just lie there and think. She felt awful that she’d forgotten it was Wednesday. She used to look forward to the day but now her mind was full of other stuff. Maybe Lexie was right. Maybe she was losing touch with the real world. She suddenly felt exhausted and began to drift off into a fitful sleep.

  People were running in all directions as buildings tumbled down and smoke swirled all around her. The sound of screams filled the air and it took her a moment to realise that she was screaming too. She looked down and realised she was trapped. A heavy boulder had fallen on her chest and she couldn’t breathe properly. She began to feel light-headed. Was this it? Was this the end? She’d often wondered how she’d die but had never imagined it would be like this. The sound began to fade and she felt peaceful. Dying wasn’t so bad after all. And then she heard his voice.

  ‘Stay with me. Open your eyes.’ His face was blurry. ‘Let’s just get this thing off you.’

  Suddenly she could breathe again. He’d lifted the boulder off her. He’d saved her life. ‘You’re bleeding,’ she said, looking at the blood dripping from him but she couldn’t see where it was coming from.

  ‘I’m fine. Now let’s get you out of here. Those buildings overhead don’t look safe.’ He lifted her up and carried her to safety. His face became clear now. It was William. Her William. And she knew at that moment that she’d love him for the rest of her life.

  * * *

  ‘I don’t get it, Will. You say you love me but you won’t let me tell anyone we’re engaged.’

  ‘Of course I love you, Sil. And we’ll tell everyone soon.’

  ‘But when? Why wouldn’t you let me tell your parents last night? It was the perfect opportunity.’

  Will checked his mirrors and signalled to pull into the right lane. They were in the city centre and the traffic was chaotic. ‘I told you. As soon as we tell them they’ll be trying to organise everything for us. They’ll take over and they’ll railroad us into decisions we don’t want to make.’

  ‘They’ll only railroad us if we let them.’

  ‘You obviously don’t know my mother very well, then.’

  ‘And is that the only reason you don’t want to tell anyone?’

  Will glanced at Silvia and saw the hurt and worry in her eyes. He felt like such an idiot. He’d been allowing a memory to hold him back but maybe it was time to let it go. He’d laid awake all night thinking about Donna and how he could find her. He’d gone through every possible idea in his head until he’d come to the conclusion that nothing was going to work. With just a first name to go on and no other information, it was a dead end.

  ‘Will?’ Silvia was getting annoyed.

  ‘Sorry, what did you say?’

  ‘I was asking you if there was another reason you didn’t want to tell people about us.’

  Will thought for a moment and let a picture of Donna fill his mind. He saw her beautiful face – her green eyes and the dimple on her left cheek. He saw her freckles and her perfect nose, her wild red hair and her full, pink lips. He held her face in his mind’s eye for a few moments and then he let it go. That’s when he saw Silvia properly. She was there. She was real. And he loved her. He suddenly pulled the car to the left and parked at the side of the road.

  ‘What are you doing, Will? Why are you stopping?’

  ‘Because I love you, that’s why. And because I have no proper reason not to tell the world. Come on, let’s go home.’

  ‘But I thought we were going shopping.’

  Will pulled back out into the traffic and swung around the next roundabout to head in the direction of home. ‘Shopping can wait. We have s
omething much more important to do.’

  ‘You’re not making sense. What have we got to do?’

  They stopped at the traffic lights and he looked at her. It was like he was seeing her again for the first time. She was beautiful, like an Italian goddess, with her chestnut hair falling over her shoulders, her brown eyes like saucers in her tanned face. That was the face he loved. That was the face he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

  ‘We’re going home to announce our engagement,’ he said, accelerating as the lights turned green. ‘We’re going to tell Mum and Dad and your parents and then we’re going to shout it out to the world.’

  Silvia squealed with excitement. ‘You have no idea how happy that makes me! But what changed your mind?’

  ‘I just came to my senses, I suppose.’

  ‘Good,’ said Silvia. ‘It’s about time. Your mother will always be your mother but you need to stand on your own two feet and do what you want to do.’

  And it was with those words that Will knew without a doubt that Jack was looking down on him. That was exactly what he’d say – it’s what he had said to him just before he died.

  The rain that had been spitting earlier started to fall heavily and suddenly people were running in all directions to escape a soaking. Will put the windscreen wipers on full blast and he felt thankful that his mother had lent them her car so that they wouldn’t have to get the bus. He stopped to let a girl cross the road. She had no hood on her jacket and her long red hair was dripping wet. He couldn’t see her face properly but she reminded him of Donna. But he wasn’t going to call her name. He wasn’t going to stop the car and run after her. He wasn’t going to be that person any more. The only woman he’d be thinking about from now on was the beautiful woman beside him who was going to become his wife.

  Chapter 32

  ‘Engaged!’ said Vivienne, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. ‘And when did this happen?’

  Will beamed and pulled his fiancée into him. ‘A while ago in London. We just decided to keep it to ourselves for a while.’