A Love Like This

by Maria Duffy

  Will sighed and did as he was told. Mr and Mrs Bohan were old friends of his parents’ whom he hadn’t seen in about ten years. He’d felt a bit irked when his mother had produced the list for the party. It had mainly consisted of her and his father’s friends, with just a few of his own thrown in for good measure.

  ‘You don’t really have too many friends left here,’ she’d said, and he’d glared at her.

  ‘Thanks for reminding me, Mum.’

  ‘Don’t pout, William,’ she’d continued. ‘It’s not becoming of you. All I meant is that most of them have emigrated and we need to fill the room.’

  He smiled warmly at the Bohans and shook their hands. After an adequate amount of small talk, he indicated a table for them to sit down at. He could turn on the charm when he wanted to. Then he made his way over to his fiancée and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

  ‘Are you having fun, sweetheart? I’m sorry you don’t know half of the people here.’

  Silvia took his hand and squeezed it. ‘But neither do you! And, yes, I’m having a great time. Val here said that there are a few more from work coming in so I won’t feel like I have no friends.’

  ‘That’s great. Can I get you a drink, Val?’

  ‘I’ve just got one, thanks.’

  Will saw that she’d noticed his hand but had looked away quickly. Story of his life. Sometimes he wished people would just ask, rather than pretending they hadn’t seen it. He was happy to talk about it but it seemed to make others feel uncomfortable.

  ‘I’m just going to head back over to Mum and see if she needs a hand with anything.’ He emphasised the word ‘hand’ to see if it would get a reaction. He couldn’t help it. Val’s eyes opened wide for a second and Will had to resist the urge to punch the air and say: ‘Yessss!’ He loved to be silly now and then. It brought him back to his childhood. Jack would have got the joke straight away.

  The room filled up quickly and, after a few pints, Will began to enjoy himself. Some of his old school friends had come and, since Silvia was happy to sit and chat with her friends from work, Will was able to have a guilt-free catch-up with the lads.

  ‘How on earth did you get a woman like that?’ asked Terry Dillon, looking over at Silvia, his eyes wide. ‘Jesus, you always fall on your feet, Willie boy!’

  Will laughed at his old friend. ‘I ask myself that every day. She’s pretty amazing.’

  ‘So, are you going to settle here now? I’d have thought you’d be setting up home in Italy or Australia – anywhere but here.’

  ‘Who knows what the future will bring,’ said Will, taking a slug of his pint. ‘But for the moment we’re happy to be here.’

  ‘I’d love to travel,’ said Frank, another friend from Will’s childhood. ‘I got straight into the bank after school and have been stuck there ever since.’

  Will shook his head. ‘You’re not stuck there, mate. You choose to stick there. That’s a different thing.’

  ‘Since when have you been so philosophical?’ laughed Terry. ‘I seem to remember you saying you were stuck in a job you hated at one time.’

  ‘But I got out, didn’t I? And it was thanks to a good talking to from Jack.’

  They all fell silent for a moment, remembering their friend. It was Will who broke the silence.

  ‘Let’s raise our glasses to Jack, lads. I wish he was here, but I’m sure he’s with us in spirit.’

  ‘To Jack,’ said Terry, raising his pint in the air.

  ‘To Jack.’ They all clinked glasses and took a long drink before Frank brought the conversation back to travel.

  ‘So, where was your favourite out of all the places you’ve been?’

  Will thought for a moment. ‘I loved Perth because I was there for the longest time but …’ A picture of Christchurch immediately came to mind, along with Donna’s face. But he really didn’t want to remember her. Not now. Not on his engagement night.

  ‘But it wasn’t your favourite?’ Terry was interested now.

  ‘It was one of my favourite places, but I’d have to say the south island of New Zealand is one of the most beautiful places on earth.’

  Terry nodded knowingly but there was an awkward silence. Will’s friends knew about the earthquake and how he’d been injured. They’d all been very supportive when he’d come home at first and had to have all the treatment to his hand. He hadn’t been able to drive and, when his parents weren’t available to bring him to appointments, his friends had pitched in.

  ‘Come on, lads. It’s just my hand. No need to get all morose. I expect other people to dodge the subject but not you lot!’

  ‘Is it painful?’ It was the first time Ryan had spoken since Will had arrived at the table. He’d always been the shy one growing up and Will hadn’t been surprised when he’d ended up working in a library and trying to get a deal for the novel he’d written.

  ‘Not really, Ryan. I don’t have much feeling at all around the damaged area. The worst part was getting used to not having my index finger.’

  ‘Of all the fingers to lose,’ said Terry, shaking his head. ‘How unlucky could you be?’

  ‘Actually, I thought the same thing initially but, apparently, if you’re going to lose a finger, the index one isn’t the worst.’

  They were all curious now so Will continued.

  ‘Your hand soon adjusts to not having the index finger there and the middle finger sort of takes over. It’s weird, my hand doesn’t actually feel a lot different now and I can do most things with it, so it’s not so bad.’

  ‘Uh oh,’ said Terry, looking over Will’s shoulder. ‘Here comes your mother and she doesn’t look happy.’

  Will rolled his eyes. He needed to try and get a few drinks into her so she’d relax.

  ‘William. I think you’ve spent enough time here. There are guests you haven’t greeted yet so why don’t you go and mingle for a bit.’

  ‘I’ll go in a few minutes, Mum. I’m just chatting to the lads.’

  Vivienne clicked her tongue disapprovingly. ‘I can see that but it’s rude not to say hello when people have made the effort to come and celebrate with you.’

  Will was about to argue but he didn’t think it would be worth it. He rolled his eyes, without letting his mother see, and got up to go and get Silvia. If he had to suffer mingling with complete strangers, then she could do it with him. After all, it was her party too.

  She didn’t complain and was happy to go and talk to the guests. Silvia never complained about anything. Will realised how lucky he was and, judging by the stares of most of the male guests, they all knew how lucky he was too.

  * * *

  ‘Well, I think that was a success,’ said Vivienne, carefully removing her shoes as she came in the front door. ‘So, who’s for tea?’

  Will fell down onto the sofa in the living room. ‘I think I might need some strong coffee. How about you, Sil?’

  ‘Why don’t I go and make some tea and coffee?’ said Silvia, bunching up her long hair and tying it in a bobbin on the top of her head. ‘Vivienne, you’ve done enough. Go and sit down and I’ll bring a tray in.’

  ‘That’s very good of you, dear. Isn’t it, George?’

  ‘Very good. But I think I might head on up to bed and read the paper. I bought it this morning but didn’t even get to open it.’

  ‘But don’t you want to discuss the evening? I want to tell you what Martha O’Connor said about Jilly Dawson’s granddaughter.’

  ‘Time enough for that tomorrow, Vivienne. My back is giving me a bit of bother so I’d be better off lying down.’

  ‘You go on up then, love. I’ll bring you a cup of tea. And thanks for all your help tonight. What would I do without you?’ Vivienne placed a kiss on her husband’s cheek in an uncharacteristic show of affection.

  George flushed happily and headed up the stairs. Will was delighted to see his mother showing her softer side, especially to his dad, who was such a gentle soul. He headed into the kitchen to give Silvia a hand. Sh
e already had all the cups on the tray and was waiting for the kettle to boil.

  ‘Happy?’ he asked, taking her hand and kissing it softly.

  ‘Couldn’t be happier.’ She twisted the ring on her finger until it caught the light. ‘And everyone thought the ring was spectacular.’

  Will looked at the large solitaire diamond and had to admit it looked gorgeous on Silvia’s long, slender fingers. He’d taken her to the jeweller’s shop on Grafton Street just after Christmas to show her the ring he’d almost bought her. She’d smiled faintly and said it was nice. He’d known straight away that she didn’t like it and had quickly offered her alternatives. She’d immediately pounced on the tray of solitaires – the ones that cost a fortune – and Will had told her to pick whichever one she wanted.

  ‘It’s an investment piece,’ she’d said, holding her hand up to the light and admiring the ring. Will had never really understood that phrase. Surely it was only an investment if the intention was to sell it and make a profit? The jeweller had agreed wholeheartedly with Silvia. And why wouldn’t he when he was just about to clock up a sale for three and a half thousand euros.

  They made the hot drinks and arranged a selection of biscuits on a plate, and Will carried the tray into the living room. He was glad to see his mother looking relaxed and happy. It dawned on him that she rarely took time to just sit down and do nothing. He made a mental note to encourage her to do just that over the coming weeks.

  ‘I’ll just take some tea up to George,’ she said, pouring a cup. She took a side plate and added two gingernuts – George’s favourites. ‘Be back in a sec.’

  ‘Your parents are perfect together, aren’t they?’

  Will looked at Silvia, startled. ‘Are they?’

  ‘Of course. Don’t you think so?’

  ‘I suppose I never really thought about it,’ he said, pouring coffee into two cups. ‘I always thought Mum gave Dad such a hard time that I wondered how he put up with her.’

  Silvia laughed. ‘Well, I hope we’re like that when we’re their age. She might nag him but he loves it. Don’t you see how his face lights up when he rolls his eyes at something she says? They love each other very much.’

  Will had never really thought about it that way but Silvia was probably right. They were married such a long time so there must be something keeping them together.

  Suddenly there was a crash from upstairs. Vivienne’s voice could be heard calling her husband. Will jumped to his feet just before he heard his mother’s wails.

  ‘Nooooooooooo!’

  Chapter 34

  Donna had a spring in her step as she walked from the bus stop to the bakery. She’d stayed working late last night and finished all the cakes that were on order for the week so Jan had told her not to come in until lunch time. She’d had a very luxurious lie-in and a delicious cooked breakfast made by Bob.

  Things had been better with Bob lately. They’d had a few wobbles around Christmas time but they’d finally got their act together and he’d moved in. It was the best thing that could have happened because suddenly their relationship felt different. More grown-up. Donna loved the certainty that Bob would be there every night. She never had to ask him if he was staying and he didn’t have to ask her permission either. Their sex life was still slow and it worried Donna sometimes, but she felt that it was something they could work on. The most important thing was they had a good friendship – after all, that’s what a good relationship should be based on. And no relationship was perfect.

  Jan had been over the moon when they’d told her about their plans to live together. Bob had been a little offended.

  ‘Well, you could at least act a bit sorry to see me go,’ he’d sniffed, when she’d tangoed around the kitchen after hearing the news.

  ‘Of course I’ll miss you, love. But I couldn’t be happier for you two.’

  Lexie was still living with them but she’d been looking for a place of her own. They’d both told her repeatedly that she didn’t have to move out but she said it was time. She’d saved enough money for a deposit and a few months’ rent and her grandparents had offered to help her out too.

  Donna looked at the rain clouds above and was glad to have almost reached the bakery. It was typical spring weather. She’d left her heavy coat at home because the sun had been beaming when she left but now it looked as though there was going to be a heavy downpour.

  She shoved the door open and the delicious smell of baking hit her nostrils. ‘Morning, Megan. It’s very quiet for lunch time. Has it been like this all day?’

  ‘It’s been fairly steady but I’m expecting the lunch rush at any moment.’ She indicated for Donna to come closer and she whispered, ‘Jan is in the tearoom. I’m not sure what’s wrong but she’s crying.’

  ‘Crying?’ Donna was alarmed. ‘Did she say anything?’

  Megan shook her head. ‘She didn’t say much when I came in and seemed a bit distant, but I didn’t think too much of it. Then I was going to make myself a cup of tea while it was quiet about ten minutes ago and that’s when I saw her.’

  ‘Right, I’ll go and see what’s wrong. Give me a shout if it gets too busy and I’ll come out and give you a hand.’

  Donna hung up her coat on the hook behind the door and headed towards the tearoom. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel panic rising in her throat. It wasn’t like Jan to cry, especially in work, so something awful must have happened. She braced herself and opened the door.

  Jan was sitting, cradling a cup in her hands. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. She looked up when Donna entered the room and started to cry again.

  ‘God, Jan. What is it? What’s happened?’ Donna pulled a chair up beside her and took her hands.

  ‘Ah, Donna, love, it’s terrible. I’m a terrible person.’

  ‘Of course you’re not. Come on. Tell me what’s happened.’

  Jan sniffed and blew her nose in her already-saturated tissue. Donna pulled some kitchen towel off the roll and handed it to her. They sat in silence for a moment until Jan felt ready to speak.

  ‘It’s my brother, Donna. He’s dead. He died suddenly last night.’

  ‘Ah no, Jan. That’s awful. Is this the brother you lost contact with?’

  ‘He was the only one I had,’ sobbed Jan. ‘And I chose to turn my back on him.’

  Donna didn’t know what had happened between the two siblings but she was quick to reassure Jan. ‘I’m sure it wasn’t as simple as that. Do you want to tell me about it?’

  Jan blew her nose. ‘We had a falling out. I shouldn’t have let it go on for all these years but the longer it went, the easier it was just to forget I had a brother altogether.’

  ‘You said it was a long time ago?’

  Jan nodded. ‘Must be more than thirty years now. It was before Bob was born.’

  Donna let out a low whistle. ‘That is a long time.’

  ‘Our parents had died one year after the other. Well, you know all that. So there were just the two of us. I still lived in the family house in Cabra but he was married at that stage and had his own house in Castleknock.’

  ‘Married? I hadn’t even thought about the fact you might have a sister-in-law too.’

  ‘I do, but I hated her. God forgive me, but I couldn’t stand the woman.’ She blessed herself as an apology to God for her hatred.

  ‘So is she the reason you fell out?’

  Jan sighed. ‘In the end, there were a thousand reasons, but, yes, she was one of them. From the first day I met her, I knew she thought she was better than us. She’d taken to my brother because he had a good job and was earning good money, but she didn’t like me. Not one bit.’

  ‘I find that hard to believe, Jan. How could anyone not like you? You’re the warmest and most welcoming person I know.’

  ‘You might not have said that if you knew me back then. I was a bit of a wild child. I’d been expelled from two schools and ended up getting in with the wrong people.’

  ‘No way
,’ said Donna, sitting back in her chair, unable to believe that Jan was ever that child.

  ‘I wasn’t always the fluffy home-making mammy, you know, Donna. Back then things were a lot different. I got into petty crime – nothing too serious. A bit of pick-pocketing, stuff like that.’

  Donna thought back to her own deviance during her teenage years and realised she had more in common with Jan than she’d thought. ‘So she didn’t like you because of that?’

  ‘I suppose. But things got messy with the house too. I wanted to stay there but she thought we should sell. They had a big mortgage on the new house and were desperate to pay something off it.’

  ‘But you stayed in the end?’

  ‘I did, Donna, love. But that’s when relationships broke down altogether. I had to get a mortgage – pay them off. She still wasn’t happy. It was a mess.’

  ‘But your brother, Jan. What did he have to say about all this?’

  Jan’s eyes filled with tears again. ‘He was the mild-mannered one. I knew he didn’t agree with half of the things that woman said or did, but he loved her. He supported her completely and I hated him for it.’

  Donna shook her head. ‘I suppose there’s no accounting for love. It can make us all do silly things.’

  ‘That’s true. It was only after I married my Chris that I understood that deep, unwavering love. But by then it was too late. There was so much hatred there, so many awful things had been said, that it was easier to just let the relationship slide.’

  ‘So you never saw him again?’

  She bowed her head. ‘There was the odd Christmas card initially. I sent them a birth announcement when Bob was born and they did the same a few years later when they had a son. But things fizzled out after that.’

  ‘So you have a nephew too? Weren’t you ever tempted to make peace? Look how much bigger your family could have been, Jan. You could have had a brother and a sister-in-law. Bob could have had a cousin.’ Donna was finding it hard to believe that someone could turn their back completely on a sibling. She felt mostly sorry for Jan but part of her felt angry.

  ‘Of course I thought about making peace, Donna. But it’s hard, you know. So much time had passed that it just got easier to let things go.’ She burst into tears then and Donna was quick to go to her and hug her. Maybe she was judging her too harshly. Donna knew only too well how family dynamics can be difficult and sometimes things aren’t always as they seem from the outside.