by C. L. Stone
Kota glanced over at me as if sensing me relaxing. His green eyes lit up behind his glasses and his smile softened. He collected my hand in his lap, brought it to his mouth and gave the tip of my index finger a gentle bite.
“Oh, hell no,” Nathan said, smirking after him. “That’s our thing.”
Kota laughed. “I just wanted to ...”
“Nope,” Nathan said, shaking his head. He shoved two of my fingers into his mouth. “Mine.”
He was taking claim. I stiffened, unsure.
Kota smirked at me. “Do we need a thing?”
I wanted to shrug and pretend it was no big deal, but I felt he might be insulted, like Nathan was allowed to do something special with me but I wasn’t going to let him. “I suppose we do.”
Kota quietly let go of me, lifting his hands and smoothing out his fingertips across my cheeks. He cupped my face, zeroed in on me, bringing his face to hover over mine.
My breath escaped me, dazzled by his suddenness. Was he about to kiss me here in front of everyone?
“Whoa,” Nathan said, his arm wrapped around my shoulders to tug me back. “Dude, you can’t ...”
Kota paused and lifted his head, blinking in confusion. “Why? We’ve done it before.”
Nathan’s mouth fell open, dropping my fingers from his mouth. “What? You’re shitting me.”
Kota raised an eyebrow, as if confused. He turned back to me. He pressed his palms to my cheeks. He lowered his face.
His nose nudged against mine, sweeping back and forth and nuzzling.
My own mouth opened in surprised and I started giggling. I’d forgotten about the night when I’d dared him to do this very thing. A shudder swept through me. His breath on my skin did tricks to my heart and stomach that felt similar to when Nathan first started chewing on my fingers. Tingling. Breathless. My mind blanked. The crowd around us, the game going on, it all disappeared.
He backed off a couple of inches. His eyes sought out mine, penetrating through me with silent questions, as if asking me if this was okay.
The best I could offer in reply was a warm, curious smile.
He lit up again, beaming. He claimed my hand again and held it in his lap, backing away.
I was sitting with my hands spread out, one in Kota’s lap, the in Nathan’s. If the other students around us were paying attention, I bet they were as confused as I felt.
The crowd started roaring. I’d been so distracted by Kota and Nathan that I hadn’t followed what was happening on the field. There was a change of players. One was being supported by another team member as he limped off the field.
The coach was shouting. Silas and North leapt up from the bench and started heading out onto the field.
“About time,” Kota said.
I agreed, elated. I didn’t want them to sit out the first game.
Nathan held that serious expression, his blue eyes glued to the field. I scooted onto the edge of my seat, almost ready to bounce up. Kota’s hands clutched my hand tighter.
The football was tossed, Silas and North made contact, taking down two opposing players.
Nathan hooted.
“That’s good?” I asked, nervous that perhaps Silas and North might be hurt. They’d thrown themselves at the other players and landed hard.
“Yeah, they’ve got their first tackles in,” Nathan said. “We want them to keep this up. They need to show the team they can get the job done.”
I sucked in a breath and held it, at the same time gripped their hands back.
When the players on the field were in position again, the ball was thrown. Silas took out one player. The football was spiraling in the air. North leapt over Silas, using Silas’s back to launch himself, caught the ball in the air, falling to the ground as a ton of other players landed on top of him.
I stood, ripping my hands from Nathan and Kota and stared down at the football players, my heart in my throat. It seemed impossible that North wasn’t hurt. There were ten guys on him. Flashes of seeing them in fights at school had my mind on a rampage.
Nathan and Kota stood up next to me, eyes tensed, lips taut with concern.
The players started to clear off. Referees nudged the players, and they released North.
North had the ball clutched in his hands, drifting up to a kneeling position to show possession.
Nathan pumped his fist. “Yeah! We’ve got the ball.”
I inched back, hand over my chest, relieved to see North on his feet. Football was nerve-wracking.
I felt a pair of eyes on me, not Nathan's or Kota's. I scanned the crowd, looking for the source.
A thin kid in glasses sat a few bleachers away. He wore tan slacks and a faded green polo shirt that looked to be a bit small on his frame. When I met his gaze, he blinked hard a few times, like it was unexpected that I’d notice. I recognized him, but it took me a moment to realize it was a student I'd sat next to in the courtyard not too long ago.
He blushed and grimaced. I understood. Sometimes being shy, I would get caught up in watching who I thought was normal, too. In empathy, I lifted my hand, and did a small finger wave. I wanted him to know it was okay. Don’t be embarrassed.
His head jerked back shortly, as if surprised I'd responded. He lifted his hand, waving a little. I smiled. He seemed nice. Was he by himself?
"What's going on?" Kota asked. With the way he shifted, he blocked my view.
"Nothing," I said. "Just saying hello."
He turned slightly, catching where I was looking. His eyes squinted. "To who?"
"To ..." I started to say and shifted to look around him, but the boy was gone. "Oh, uh. I guess he left."
Kota looked at me curiously, but squeezed my hand.
I waited until Kota seemed distracted with the game again before I looked for the boy, but he had disappeared. I hoped I hadn’t spooked him or he’d felt bad for staring.
We were still standing as the players switched out for the offensive team to take the field. Kota stiffened next to me, and yanked his phone out of his back pocket, glancing at the screen. He pushed a button, holding it to his ear. He listened quietly.
I couldn’t help but watch. The expression he wore brimmed with eerie concern. I couldn’t imagine who it could be. His family was home, we were all accounted for. There couldn’t be a school fight that called him into saving someone.
As he listened to the caller, his eyes fell on me. He frowned. “I’ll be right there,” he said into the phone and hung up.
“What is it?” I asked, ready for him to say Academy work, and already disappointed. We’d have to leave.
“It’s Victor,” he said, his eyes darkening behind his glasses. He touched the bridge with a fingertip. “I need to go.”
I prickled. “What happened to Victor? What’s wrong? Can I go?”
Kota shot a helpless glance at Nathan.
Nathan’s face turned serious, a mask of granite. “I’ll stay with her,” he told him. “We’ll wait for the game to end and we’ll go with North and Silas.”
“But wait,” I said, dropping a hand on Kota’s chest to stop him before he could pull away. “What happened? Is he hurt? Should we all go?”
Kota’s mouth tightened. He took up my hand and squeezed it. “He’s fine,” he said, the calm and power in his voice thundering through me. “He’s not hurt. He just needs me right now. Stay with Nathan. Listen to what he says.” He picked up my hand, brought it to his mouth. His lips brushed against a couple of my fingers and he pulled away. He marched down the steps of the stands, weaving among other students and parents. Within moments, he was gone.
My heart sank seeing him leave. Despite his promise that Victor was fine, I couldn’t imagine Kota needing to get to him so quickly. If Victor was fine, he wouldn’t have called for help.
“Peanut,” Nathan said. He sat back down on the bench. His blue eyes gazed up at me and he found my hand again, tugging it. “Come here.”
His tugging drew me in until he pulled me onto
his lap. His legs were warm against my butt which had started to feel numb on the cold seat.
“Is Victor going to be okay?” I asked, unable to help feeling worried.
Nathan wrapped his arms around me, his cheek pressed to mine. “He’s fine. If he was hurt or needed us, Kota would have made us all go. Since he didn’t, it must not be too bad. He just needed to go see him.”
“But why? What could be wrong?”
Nathan sighed loud in my ear. “Victor stresses at his concerts. There’s a lot of pressure on him to be perfect.” He repositioned himself until he was sitting with his legs parted on the bench. He positioned me between his legs so his thighs partially wrapped around mine, my back pressed into his chest so he could look out over my head at the game. “Don’t worry. Kota will go out there and he’ll be fine.”
I sighed, but swallowed back my desire to prod him with more questions. It felt wrong to not do anything, even at the risk of their reprimands and disapproval. I wanted to help and didn’t know how. It also felt wrong to continue to enjoy the game when Victor wasn’t happy.
Nathan wrapped his arms around my shoulders, drawing me in tight like a backward hug. His embrace stopped my trembling from the cool air. It was extremely cozy. “If I was really honest, Peanut, I’m kind of glad he had to go.”
My mouth popped open in surprise. How could he say that? “What do you mean?”
He turned his face, until his nose touched my ear and I felt his breath on my neck. “Because now I can pretend we’re on a real date.”
♥♥♥
We were still sitting together, me partially in Nathan’s lap, when the clock on the scoreboard finally counted down to zero. The only things keeping me from shivering in the crisp air were Nathan’s warm arms around me and Kota’s hoodie. My legs were tingling. I’d have to remember to wear pants to the next football game.
Ashley Waters managed a one point victory: the final touchdown scored by Jay after Rocky threw the ball to him, with Silas and North assisting. Everyone stood, cheering the team on. The crowd was in an uproar.
Reluctantly, I stood up as well. I wanted to show support, but didn’t want to draw away from Nathan.
He seemed to read my mind. When I stood, he did, too. He stayed right behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders again, and his chin hovering over the top of my head as he stood behind me. I witnessed other couples around us doing the same thing. It warmed me beyond anything I’d ever felt before. Despite being so nervous earlier with both of them, having just Nathan alleviated the burden of worrying about making Kota jealous. And since they’d done so much and neither of them seemed to pressure the other to back off, it was still confusing, but I didn’t feel quite as guilty for having Nathan’s arms around me. Perhaps North was right after all. Maybe I did need to relax and let them take over some things, like worrying about touching and dates.
I sought out Silas and North, but the team had grouped up together on the field, cheering and patting each other on their backs. People started leaving the stands around us, trying to get ahead of the crowd getting out of the parking lot.
Watching people leaving and losing sight of Silas and North woke me up from my snuggly state with Nathan. I pulled away to look back at him. “Silas and North don’t know we’re here by ourselves. How are we going to catch them in this crowd?”
Nathan sighed, rolling his eyes and grinning. “Sang, oh my god, stop worrying so much.”
“But what if they leave without us? They think we’re with Kota.”
He smirked, shaking his head, and grabbed my hand. “Come on, Peanut.”
He tugged me along to mix in with the crowd heading out. There was some relief that we were moving in the right direction. I hoped we made it before Silas and North did.
Nathan pulled me in close, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I wanted to do something with my arms, like wrap one around his waist or something similar, like I was seeing other girls do, only I was too nervous and wondered if I should. I let it go so long that it felt too awkward to start, since I hadn’t already done it.
“Did you have fun, Peanut?” Nathan asked me as the crowd started to break up around us outside the gate.
“Yes,” I said. I wasn’t sure I liked football or sitting on cold bleacher seats, but spending time with the guys outside of school and not worrying about my parents had been fun.
“Good,” he said. “I wasn’t sure if you were, for a while there.”
“What do you mean?”
“You looked scared again.”
I smirked. He said that about everything. “There were a lot of people,” I said.
He stopped walking, pulling back to look down at me. “Was that all that made you nervous? The crowd?”
I blushed, a finger fluttered toward my lower lip.
“Stop that,” he said, snatching my hand before it could reach my mouth. He trapped my fingers and ducked them into his mouth. “Why were you nervous?” he asked, his serious blue eyes focusing on me, although he seemed less intense with my fingers dangling in his mouth.
I twisted my lips as I spoke. “I’ve never been on a date ... thing before.”
The side of his mouth twisted up, he nipped at my finger. “That it?”
“And the whole Victor possibly being in trouble thing.”
“Anything else?”
I bit my lower lip. “Well, I mean ... I thought ...” Only this time I couldn’t formulate the words. What did he expect me to say? I couldn’t deny it any more. They were doing things to me that made my heart flip around, things couples did together, not just friends. It was more than I was expecting. He was chewing my fingers! Kota nuzzled my nose. If he’d gotten any closer, he could have kissed me. I’d almost wanted him to. I wanted Nathan to, even now. It was messed up and not normal. Mr. McCoy had said it with that sneer. Two dates.
“Tell me,” he said. He sucked at my fingers, and then drew my hand out of his mouth so he could hold it in his. His blue eyes fixed on my face. “What’s wrong?”
I glanced at the gravel at our feet. “I thought for a little while you and Kota might be mad at each other.”
Nathan raised an eyebrow. “Mad? About what?”
My face radiated and my fingers started to shake. “Because you were both holding my hands. Then he tried to bite my finger and you told him not to ... And then he ...”
“Oh,” Nathan said. “You thought he’d be jealous? Or that I was?”
I nodded, unable to look at him.
He sighed. He tugged me around the shoulders. “Come on, Sang. Let’s get to the car and I’ll tell you a story.”
My heart fluttered in my chest and I wanted to ask him questions, but I couldn’t think of any to ask. Why would he want to tell me a story now? How was that going to help?
We found Silas’s blue sedan in the lot. Nathan fished out his keys and he selected one, putting it into the lock. I’d nearly forgotten they all had copies of each other’s car keys.
He opened the front passenger side for me. I sank into the car seat, glad for the break from the chill wind. Nathan closed the door for me. He ran around the front of the car and got into the driver’s side. The overhead light shut off above us and we were cast into the dark, with the occasional headlight shining in on us as cars continued to stream out of the lot.
I kicked my sandals off out of habit, drawing my knees to my chest. I slipped my hands into the pockets of Kota’s hoodie, smelling his spice scent still in the fabric.
Nathan twisted in the seat, looking at me and putting his hand on the back of the car seat behind me. His lips parted like he wanted to say something, but he paused, his eyes fixing on my face. “I’m not really sure if I’m supposed to tell you this,” he said quietly.
I leaned against the center console in Silas’s car. “Why not?”
“It’s partially Academy stuff.”
I frowned. I didn’t want him to get into trouble. “Mr. Blackbourne told me this week I probably won’t get
into the Academy.”
Nathan’s face fell as if in shock. “He what? Why did he say that? Did he say never?”
The way he responded stunned me. It was almost exactly how Victor had reacted, as if he almost expected me to join, but like he, too, was waiting for confirmation on something. “He said there was a slim chance.”
“Oh,” Nathan’s face softened, looking relieved. He pushed his palm against his forehead. “I was about to have a heart attack.”
“Why?” I asked.
His eyebrows shot up and he slowly turned back to me. “That’s another long story. And I don’t know the answer to that anyway. Let me tell you the other one.”
I pursed my lips, gazing into his face, afraid to say anything to interrupt him.
“I’ve known Kota since forever. We’ve always lived across the street from each other. His mom and mine used to be friends. We’ve shared everything, like toys, and since we were about the same size, we even shared clothes. We used to fight, too. We fought like brothers over the better toys and who got to sleep where when the other had to sleep over. Actually, that was probably me. My mom was gone overnight a lot, so I had to sleep at Kota’s house on that cot thing he rolls out from under his bed. What we shared most was that our dads were never home. When they were, we didn’t like them.”
My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
Nathan’s eyes turned dark. “They were mean, Sang. Kota and I gave each other bruises, but our dads gave us more.”
I clutched at Kota’s hoodie around my body, stunned by this information. “Kota never mentioned his ... you never ...”
“We don’t really talk about it now,” Nathan said. “We really never told anyone back then either, not even Victor or Luke or Gabriel when we met them in school.”
“They’re not around now. Your dads, I mean.”
He shook his head. “No. Well, my dad shows up every once in a while.”
“Where’s Kota’s? What happened to him?”
Nathan frowned. “He should probably tell you that story. But his dad’s not here anymore. That’s the important part.” He waved his hand in the air. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, Kota and I have been through a lot. All of us have, but I guess between us, it feels different. When the Academy took us in, we had no idea that the times we fought over little things, like toys and clothes and other stuff, that was us mimicking our dads. It was working through the Academy that we managed to get beyond a lot of it, including dealing with jealousy.”