“How creative and passionate—that’s a wonderful way to live.”
“And you? What drove you to become a cop?”
“I just wanted to help people. I became determined to join the force when I was about ten years old. I guess I never considered any other options.”
He bent down and picked up a small stone. She watched as he rubbed the sand from it, then tossed it out into the water. The rock skipped a few times across the surface. When he turned back to look at her, she smiled.
“Thank you.” She took his hands in hers.
“For what?” He looked into her eyes.
“For being strong enough for both of us. I was ready to throw this away, and now—I can’t even imagine not being right here with you.”
“Me either, Angela. I’m glad we have this chance.”
As they walked further along the beach Angela’s muscles finally relaxed. She was no longer tense with indecision as she tried to weigh the pros and cons of taking this risk. It had been decided, thanks to Ryan.
She leaned her head against his arm and looked out over the water. Maybe—finally, after all the years that had passed—it was possible that she was going to get that happy ending that she’d almost stopped dreaming about.
Chapter 30
Over the next few days Ryan couldn’t keep his mind off Angela. His thoughts shifted to her again and again throughout his day. He restrained himself from texting too frequently, but was always pleased when he received one from her.
When the day of their date finally came, he arrived at the hiking trail early. He wanted to be there to greet her when she arrived. As the minutes slid by and he glanced at his watch, he saw that she was late. Again. He looked out at the parking lot and hoped it didn’t mean that she wasn’t coming at all. Briefly it occurred to him that she might have decided it was too much for her to try to overcome her fear.
The squeal of brakes drew his attention to the dirt parking lot beside the trail. He watched as Angela climbed out of her car. When she looked in his direction he ducked behind a tree. He just wanted to watch her for a moment.
She glanced around, looked at her watch, then pulled her hair back into a ponytail.
That was something that he admired about her. She wanted him to be there, but if he wasn’t, she was still going to hike.
He stepped out from behind the tree and walked toward her.
She smiled when she saw him, something he took as a good sign.
“Morning, gorgeous.”
“Yes, it is a gorgeous morning.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He slid his arm around her waist and looked into her eyes. “You’re gorgeous, silly.”
“If you say so.” She returned his gaze. “Thanks.”
“I do say so.” He kissed her cheek, then looked into her eyes again.
She smiled, but the expression faltered. “I wondered if you’d be here.”
“You’re the one that’s late.” He winked.
“I’m always late.” She sighed. “Please don’t take it personally.”
“I don’t. But I still want to know why you thought I wouldn’t be here.” He slipped his hand into hers and they began to walk along the trail.
“I just thought maybe you’d changed your mind.”
“Hey.” He stepped in front of her and met her eyes. “I’m not going to change my mind. Understand?”
“I think so.” She bit into her bottom lip.
“What is it? What has you rattled?”
“This is perfect—this moment here with you—just like it was on the beach, just like it was the first time we met.”
“Are you worried about the future?”
“I just can’t help but wonder where this is going to lead.”
“I can tell you where. Or I can show you.” His lips curved into a tantalizing smile.
“You can?”
“Mm-hm.” He stepped closer to her, so that they were mere inches apart. “It’s going to lead to us being stronger and stronger every day. It’s going to lead to our lives intertwining—maybe a little awkwardly at first—until they’re a perfect fit. It’s going to lead to this…” He drew her into a kiss that threatened to sweep away every thought from his mind.
When their lips finally broke apart for a moment, he rested his forehead against hers.
“I’m happy—right now, in this moment with you. I’m looking forward to the next one and the next one. I know where it will lead. Do you?” He pulled back and looked into her eyes again.
“I think so. Is that enough?”
“For now.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “I’m not going to ask for more from you than you’re willing to offer. Just remember, I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to prove yourself to me. We’re in this together.” He took her hand again. “This is just the beginning.”
She matched his pace as he started down the path
His throat was dry, not from the kiss or from the exertion of the walk, but from the fear her hesitation seemed to be causing in him. It seemed to him that everything was on the line. If she didn’t feel the same way, then how would he ever get over her?
He tightened his grasp on her hand as they rounded a bend in the trail. With no one else around, he decided to be bold. He pulled her to the side of the trail and spun her back against a tree. When his lips collided with hers she released a subtle gasp of surprise followed by the intense pressure of her lips against his.
Chapter 31
It still surprised her that Ryan’s touch—his kisses—could awaken such need in her. Angela returned the kiss with mounting passion that threatened to make her knees buckle.
He pulled away and drew a heavy breath.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She offered a dazed smile.
“I just can’t resist you.” He kissed her again and she sighed as the heat coursed through her body.
She slipped out from between him and the tree.
“I thought we were going for a hike?” She crossed her arms in a playful gesture.
“I’m trying. But you’re quite a distraction.”
“Or are you trying to avoid conversation?” She quirked a brow.
“Why would I do that?”
“Maybe because you have something to say that you’re a little afraid to say?”
“I’m not afraid—not at all.” He leaned close again.
She pressed her fingertips against his chest and pushed him back lightly.
“I thought honesty was important to you?”
“It is.” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you accusing me of lying?”
“I’m accusing you of withholding.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I? It’s been a few days. I’ve texted you about things that have been happening in the shop, but you haven’t said a word about your work, which I’m sure is more exciting than mine could ever be.”
He frowned and brushed a hand back over his short hair. “You know why that is.”
“I thought we agreed that we’d have to deal with it?”
“So you want me to tell you about the things I do? I don’t want you to be upset by it.”
“If I am, I am. We have to find out at some point, don’t we? Maybe sooner is better than later?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t think it needs to be so cut and dry. I can handle the things that happen at work all on my own just fine.”
She touched the curve of his forearm and looked into his eyes. “But I don’t want you to. I don’t want any aspect of your life to be hidden from me.”
His expression softened. “Even a part that you don’t like? That you don’t respect?”
“I respect you, Ryan.” Her eyes widened. “Is that what you think? That I don’t respect you?”
“I just figured it would be best if we avoided the topic.”
“No.” She shook her head. “We’ll never get anywhere if we’re not honest with one another abou
t everything. At least that’s how I feel.”
“I do too.”
“Then be open with me, alright? Tell me when something good happens, tell me when something bad happens—tell me when you’re stopping for tacos because you’re bored out of your mind.” She laughed. “Those are all things I want to know.”
“Okay, I will.” He stroked her cheek, then drew her into another intense kiss.
When she broke the kiss, he pulled her close to him.
“Maybe we should forget the hike and find a nice private place to spend some time together.” His gray eyes seemed to glow as they locked on to hers.
“Hm, maybe if you can catch me.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Do you think you can?” The challenge was followed by a playful shove against his chest.
“I know I can do that.”
“You seem a bit confident for an old man.”
“Old man?” He grinned and flexed his arms. “Does this look old to you?”
“Oh, look at those.” She gave his biceps a little squeeze. “I wonder, though, will your ego be too heavy to carry? Will it slow you down?” She laughed at her joke.
“Feisty, aren’t you?” He grabbed for her waist, but she dodged his touch with a playful laugh.
She launched off down the path before her at high speed. A thrill rippled through her at the sensation of being chased, not by someone who had any intention of hurting her, but by someone she hoped would catch her.
As she ran, her mind traveled back through time—through years and years of life—to the innocence of a childhood game of tag. Back then, there were no thoughts about who was right or wrong or what the future would hold, only the pure exhilaration of running full tilt and anticipating being caught.
She brushed aside branches as she ran even faster. Her chest burned with the exertion. Even her new exercise regiment wasn’t enough to prepare her for this kind of race. But she heard his feet pound the hard dirt right behind her and that motivated her to keep going. It was just fun—pure, uninhibited fun—until she rounded a corner on the path only to discover a suddenly more treacherous terrain.
She slowed down to avoid some dips in the dirt. Through the thick leaves of the trees, sunlight forced its way in sheer ribbons of gold. It was a priceless, perfect moment that she wanted to remember forever.
She closed her eyes for just a second to hold it in her mind’s eye. Maybe this would be the memory that finally knocked the other one loose from her mind.
The thought brought the entire scene back to her—the shrieks, the commands, the chaos, and the gunfire. Her sense of peace was shattered as she recalled the approach of what looked to her to be hundreds of police officers. Her breath grew short, but not from exertion. She closed her eyes again and tried to wipe the memory clean from her mind.
“Please, please, just let me have this. I deserve to be happy too.” It was the first time she’d spoken those words out loud. It was also the first time she’d truly believed them. More than anything, she wanted her time with Ryan to be perfect, unmarred by her past. It was a fantasy, she knew that, but not one she was ready to let go of. As long as it lasted, she wanted to enjoy it.
As she opened her eyes, the toe of her shoe wedged beneath a high curved root in the middle of the path. Before she became aware that she was falling, a sensation of weightlessness rushed through her. It was the same feeling she got when Ryan kissed her, only this time, it wasn’t his beautiful eyes she faced, but the solid hard ground that raced up to meet her.
Chapter 32
Ryan could have easily caught up to her. He was the top sprinter in his class at the academy. But it was much more fun to chase her—at least it was, until he saw her lose her balance. As Angela tumbled forward, he lunged toward her in an attempt to catch her. All he managed to do was break her fall by pulling her on top of him. He laughed as he gasped for breath and looked up into her eyes.
She wasn’t laughing. She gazed at him with her lips slightly parted and her eyes tense.
“Are you hurt?” His laughter faded.
“No, I’m not hurt.” Her lips curved upward a little.
“Then what’s wrong?” He reached up and tucked her hair back behind her ear.
She grinned and shook her head.
“Nothing. Nothing at all. I just can’t believe how beautiful you are.”
“I am not beautiful.” He narrowed his eyes. “That’s rather rude.”
“What?” She laughed. “How could that be rude?” She started to shift her body off his, but his hands wrapped around her hips and held her in place as he grinned at her.
“I might be handsome, I might even be cute, but I could never be beautiful.”
She leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose. “Oh yes you are. Your nose is beautiful.” She kissed his forehead. “Your skin is beautiful.” She kissed his chin. “Everything about you is beautiful.”
She started to move toward his cheek, but he caught her lips with his own before she could.
As the exchange grew more heated, he rolled her over beneath him. The sensation of her body against his was nearly overwhelming for him. He broke the kiss and looked down at her.
“No, Angie, you’re the beautiful one.” He kissed her again.
A soft moan escaped her lips before she turned her head from his and gave his shoulder a light push.
“I thought we were on a hike?”
He picked up a flower and tucked it gently into the pillow of her blonde hair. Then he leaned down close to her lips.
“I will always protect you, Angela. No matter what it takes. There is nothing that you can do that will ever change that.”
She blinked back the tears he’d noticed in her eyes. He kissed the corner of each of her eyes and tasted the salt of her tears.
“You don’t ever have to be afraid of me. I know it will take time. I’m not going anywhere.” He brushed his lips across hers.
She nudged him into a light kiss.
In that moment he tried to memorize everything about her—the scent of the flower in her hair, the softness of her lips, even the heat of her tears as they trickled along his skin. He pulled her up into his arms and held her there as she grieved for a moment he couldn’t change. Maybe, if he created enough better memories for her, she’d begin to let go of the past. Maybe she wouldn’t. Either way he intended to hold her close.
“Ryan, you are so good to me.” She kissed the side of his neck. “How can you be this good?”
“I just want you to know that you can trust me. It still might be hard for you to believe that, but you can.”
She lifted her eyes to his and in the next second the words slipped past his lips that he never expected to speak so soon.
“I love you, Angela.”
Her cheeks flushed. Her lips moved but no sound escaped.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back.” He kissed her forehead, then stood up. He helped her to her feet as well. “We should head back before it gets dark.”
“Ryan, wait.” She tugged him back toward her.
“What is it?” He smiled at her.
“I love you too.”
His eyes widened. He didn’t expect her to say it back, but she had and the joy that filled him was immeasurable.
“You do?”
“I do.”
He grinned and kissed her with such passion that they both stumbled. She laughed through the kiss and returned it with just as much abandon. It was a special moment that he knew he would treasure for the rest of his life—of their lives together. He could only hope that she knew that when he said he loved her, he meant it.
“Let me make you dinner. My house, tomorrow night? Whatever time works for you.”
“Perfect.” She kissed his cheek.
“Yes. Yes, it is perfect.”
Chapter 33
The next evening Angela arrived at Ryan’s door with a bottle of wine in her hand. She was more than a little nervous. Not only were they going to be alone together,
but she would get to taste his cooking for the first time.
When he opened the door, the aroma that flooded out made her mouth water.
“What are you cooking?” She brushed past him.
“Hello to you too.” He laughed and took the wine from her hand. “Let me get this where it belongs—in our glasses.”
“Mm, this looks delicious.” She hovered over the pots on the stove.
A moment later his hands swept around her waist. He pulled her back against him.
“I’ve spent all day in a hot kitchen thinking about you.”
“Oh?” She turned around in his arms. “Thinking about good things?”
“Hot things.” He kissed her, and the spark that flew throughout her body was enough to set the kitchen on fire. He pulled her toward the couch. As they collapsed together on it, something caught her attention on the side table. It was his gun and holster.
She pulled back from him and stood up from the couch.
“Oops, maybe the sauce is boiling over.”
He looked up at her. “The sauce is fine.” He stood up and pulled her toward him again.
But the spark was gone for Angela. She couldn’t stop looking at the gun.
“What’s wrong?” He followed her gaze to the weapon. “Ah, sorry. I meant to put that away.” He reached for it.
“No, you shouldn’t have to. This is your apartment. You should be able to leave it where you want to.”
He looked at her for a long moment. She wasn’t sure if he was upset or not, but his gaze hardened.
“Do you want me to show it to you?”
“What? No.” She shook her head.
“Maybe it would help you to see. It’s not something you have to be afraid of. It’s going to be around once in a while, so it might be best if you can get comfortable with it.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She stepped back away from him.
“Trust me, Angela, I will be in control the entire time. There is no chance that you could be hurt, or that anyone else could be hurt. If you let me show it to you, I’m sure you’ll see it’s just a hunk of steel. Who wields it is what matters.”
“I don’t know.” She looked down at the floor.
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