Keeping Secrets

by Treasure Hernandez

  “Mmmm, yeah. I like it slow, Lucky.”

  Lucky pulled the phone away from his ear, looked at it, and whispered to himself, “Goddamn.” He liked how this girl was talking. He put the phone back to his ear. “Then slow it is.” Just then he heard the shower water turn off. He knew within minutes Taneshia would be making her way out of the bathroom. He decided to hurry along his conversation with Secret. “So what about that date? Do you think a brotha could pick you up sometime and kick it with you?”

  “That sounds good.”

  “So when’s a good time for you? The weekend, the weekdays?”

  “Well, school is out and I’m really not working right now, so I can go around your schedule.”

  “Well, high school days are well behind me and I’m . . .” Lucky paused and thought for a minute. “I guess I’m what you would call an entrepreneur.”

  “Oh, yeah, well what is it exactly that you do?”

  “I do enough and make enough so that when I come pick you up for our date, you can go anywhere and get anything you’d like. So like I said, you name the time and place and let’s make it happen.”

  Secret set up a date to see Lucky in two days at eight p.m. She then gave Lucky the address for him to pick her up at.

  “I got a feeling the next forty-eight hours is going to feel like a week,” Lucky said. “But I’ll get through it.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Secret replied. “Well, I guess I’ll let you go. I look forward to seeing you, Lucky.”

  “Same here,” Lucky replied and then ended the call. It was perfect timing, too, because just as soon as he hung up with Secret, Taneshia came out of the bathroom fully dressed, towel drying her wet and curly weave.

  “So what did she say?” Taneshia asked Lucky.

  “Huh?” he questioned, his thoughts being pulled away from the conversation he’d just had with Secret.

  “What did Kat’s crazy ass say?”

  “Oh, that?” He looked at the phone. He then looked back up at Taneshia and said, “It’s a secret.”

  “Bitch, I feel like we on some Disney or Nickelodeon show where I’m feeding the nerd the lines she needs to speak to her hot date,” Shawndiece said as she snatched her cell phone from Secret’s hands.

  Secret couldn’t help but sit there and chuckle as she fell back onto Shawdiece’s bed.

  “And you think this shit is funny? What the hell you gonna say when you face to face with dude and I ain’t there to feed your ass no fly-ass lines? Let me see how funny you think the shit is then.”

  “Oh, girl, stop tripping.” Secret sat up and hit Shawndiece on the arm. “That was cute and you know it. And I must say, you got some slick little lines. No wonder you be getting tennis bracelets and cell phones and stuff.”

  “Um, hmmm. Now maybe you can get that nigga to buy you a cell phone so you won’t have to use mine to call his ass.”

  “What do I need a cell phone for? You’re the only friend I have and you live five minutes away.”

  “Yeah, well, it just ain’t normal for a teenager not to have a cell phone. An iPod, something . . . if just for GP, general purpose, damn!”

  “Well, I have bigger issues and needs than just some stupid cell phone.” Secret took on a serious tone.

  Empathizing with the dilemma her best friend was facing, Shawndiece went and put her arm around Secret’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, mama. You got this. Everything is going to work out just fine.”

  Secret stood up and walked over to Shawdiece’s bedroom window. “I don’t know. I don’t feel right about all this. Lucky seems like a cool guy.” She turned to Shawndiece. “I feel like I’m maybe tricking him or something.”

  “There is no maybe about it. Ho, you are tricking him.” Shawndiece began to laugh. After a few seconds she realized that Secret did not think her comment was so funny. “Look, chick. You knocked up. You want the baby but you want some help raising it. You act like the real father is Big Poppa from Real Housewives of Atlanta and don’t want nobody to know.”

  “It’s not like that,” Secret interrupted.

  “Well, whatever it’s like, we’ve got a situation. And if you ask me, we now have a resolution.” Shawndiece spoke sternly and direct. “You hook up with Lucky. Spend every moment you can with him like you’re in some whirlwind fantasy romance. Give up the nookie. A couple weeks later take a pregnancy test and let that nigga know he ’bout to be a daddy. Bitches do it all the time. Don’t lose no sleep. That shit is just another Tuesday in the hood.”

  Secret looked at Shawndiece and shook her head. “You act like this is normal. I mean, Shawn, this isn’t just a little lie that I can eventually sweep up under the rug. I’m going to have to live and keep up with this one for the rest of my life.” It was clear Secret was having second thoughts. “I just don’t know if I can go through with this.”

  “Secret, do you know how many dudes are out there taking care of the product of another man’s nut? The mama ain’t stuttin’ his ass knowing he probably done had God knows how many kids on her that she don’t know about it. He taking care of other bitches’ kids so he might as well take care of another nigga’s.”

  “You are so cold,” Secret said, stifling a laugh, not because she thought it was funny to play people like that. She thought it was funny how her best friend seemed to think it really was normal.

  “Like I said; it’s business as usual in the hood. Shit that’s normal in the hood may not be the normal for society outside of our world. Just think, if it wasn’t for rap music, people would still be clueless as to some of the shit that really goes on in the hood.” Shawndiece stated. “But you can look at it this way, too: let the lie be short-lived by going ahead and getting an abortion. Go ahead and hook up with this Lucky nigga and all that other stuff. But just when you tell him that you are pregnant, let him know you want to get an abortion. He’ll pay for it.” Shawndiece wiped her hands clean. “Either way it goes, issue resolved.”

  Secret rubbed her belly. “But I don’t want an abortion. Not now. What’s the use? This is my life. This is what it is. This is what it’s meant to be. No need trying to fight it. It’s ordained. If it ain’t this baby it’s going to be another one.”

  Shawndiece hated the look of defeat she saw in her friend. She wasn’t used to that coming from Secret. Secret had always had a plan for her life and had been hell-bent on sticking to it. That plan was going to take her away from Flint where she’d live a prosperous and successful life. She no longer saw that fight and determination in Secret anymore.

  “A baby is not the end of the world, Secret,” Shawndiece told Secret as she pushed her friend’s bangs back from her forehead. “You can still live your dream.”

  “Look, forget about dreams. This is the real world. This is my reality,” Secret said with conviction. “Now let’s head down to your kitchen so you can do my hair. I got a date with my baby daddy coming up.”

  Inside, Shawdiece was a little saddened that her efforts to talk Secret into sticking to her dreams fell on deaf ears. She really wanted Secret to be the one to succeed in life. But it was clear Secret’s mind was made up. And as promised, Shawdiece would have her best friend’s back no matter what. “Yeah, plus I need to school you a little more on how you need to play the type of nigga like Lucky.”

  Shawndiece smiled, then led the way to her kitchen, where she would begin the process of transforming Secret from a book-smart good girl to a streetwise hood girl.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “You sure this skirt isn’t too short?” Secret looked down at the denim mini skirt she was wearing compliments of Shawndiece. “And this shirt makes my boobs look extra big.”

  “Girl, it ain’t the shirt; it’s that good bra you wearing,” Shawndiece told her.

  The two were standing in front of the full-length mirror on the back of Shawdiece’s bedroom door. Secret had decided to have Lucky pick her up at Shawdiece’s house to avoid any chances of Lucky encountering her mother. The last thing
Secret needed was for her mother to bring up the fact that she was pregnant and ruin the entire plan.

  “Skylar bought it for me from Victoria’s Secret.” Shawndiece cupped her hands underneath Secret’s breasts and adjusted them. “It’s expensive, so make sure you take care of it. Don’t get into any of that wild sex where niggas start yanking your panties and bras off thinking that shit is sexy, all the while you want to send they ass a bill to replace yo’ shit.”

  Secret laughed. “Well, I wouldn’t know anything about all that, and it doesn’t sound like something I want to know about.” She smacked Shawdiece’s hands away. “Now stop molesting my boobs and fix this piece of hair that won’t stay.”

  Shawndiece worked part time at the hair salon her mother owned, but she did more heads out of her kitchen. She still had to earn several more hours in order to earn her certificate from the School of Cosmetology. If the state was to come in and bust her at her mom’s salon, the whole shop could get shut down. She didn’t want to put her mother in jeopardy any more than she had to. But when her clients wanted services that were better suited to be done in the shop, Shawndiece did that at her mother’s shop.

  “I’m going to be hair stylist to the stars some day,” Shawndiece would say more so in play mode versus something she really believed could happen for her.

  “If you hadn’t changed shirts a million times, then a hair wouldn’t be out of place.” Shawndiece grabbed the rat’s tail comb that sat on her dresser and began to use the end to tuck any loose strands of hair from Secret’s up-do.

  “You sure that black one doesn’t go better with this skirt than this orange one?” Secret tugged at the shirt she was wearing. To her, it was showing far more cleavage than she was used to. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t used to showing any cleavage at all. So she surmised that perhaps it was okay.

  “We not even ’bout to go there again,” Shawndiece spat, smacking the comb back down on the dresser. She was fed up with Secret second-guessing her outfit choices numerous times. “You wearing that shirt.” She looked her up and down. “You wearing that skirt and you wearing those wedges.”

  Just then the doorbell rang.

  “Perfect,” Shawndiece said. “Now you don’t have time to change anything even if you wanted to. Now grab that orange Michael Kors bag and let’s go.”

  Secret, feeling like she was Shawdiece’s little Barbie doll about to go on her first date with Ken, grabbed the purse, again compliments of Shawndiece. She strutted in the wedges she’d practiced wearing for about a half hour over to the bedroom door where Shawndiece stood waiting for her. She was excited to be going on her first date, regardless of her underlying intentions. On the flip side, she felt a little guilty inside as well. But every time guilt reared its ugly head she’d remind herself that she was doing this for the baby.

  “Whoooo weeeee. Look at you lookin’ like Beyoncé.” She put her hand on Secret’s belly. “Don’t worry, Blue Ivy, we gon’ find you a daddy Jay-Z.”

  “Will you stop it with your crazy self?” Secret said, slapping Shawdiece’s hand off of her stomach.

  “‘Got me lookin’ crazy,’” Shawndiece began her own personal rendition of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s hit collaboration. She could tell she was starting to aggravate Secret as Secret rolled her eyes at Shawdiece. “Okay. Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s go.”

  The two headed down the steps just as the doorbell rang again. When they hit the bottom landing of the steps they each stopped and just stood there.

  “What?” Shawndiece asked Secret.

  “Aren’t you going to answer the door?” Secret asked.

  “Aren’t you?”

  “It’s your house.”

  “It’s your baby daddy,” Shawndiece countered.

  “Girl, get the damn door.” Secret pushed Shawndiece toward the door.

  “If you can’t open the door for him, how you gon’ open your legs?” Shawndiece mumbled under her breath as she opened the door. “Well damn! Maybe I should have given your ass my number.” Shawdiece’s hand flew over her mouth. “Did I just say that out loud?”

  “Uhhh, yes, you did,” Secret came up behind her and said, placing her hand on Shawdiece’s shoulder and pulling her out of the way.

  “See? I told you to get the door,” she whispered.

  Secret just rolled her eyes up in her head and looked to Lucky, who was standing there with a smile on his face, looking as dapper as could be.

  “Sorry about my rude friend,” Secret told him. “But I can’t say I blame her for the Freudian slip.”

  “Oh, it’s all good,” Lucky said. He stood there dressed in his Sean John button-up shirt with Sean Jean jeans. His blue, white, and gray Nikes matched the blue, white, and gray plaid pattern on his shirt. His eyes looked mysterious under the brim of his blue snap-back Nike hat, and his goatee was razor sharp.

  “You look nice,” Secret complimented. This is for the baby. She had to remind herself of this as she felt guilt rising again.

  “So do you.” He gave her the once-over. “Lookin’ like an around-the-way girl,” he joked. What had attracted Lucky to Secret was that she was different from all the rest of the girls, but now here she stood greeting him at the door dressed like all the rest. He hoped he wasn’t being duped.

  “You have me to thank for the look Miss Secret is wearing tonight,” Shawndiece jumped in. “I styled her and am willing to style for the stars. Just send them my way.” Shawndiece brushed invisible dirt off her shoulders.

  Lucky looked to Secret for confirmation.

  “Yes, I have to give Shawndiece credit for this getup,” Secret admitted, her tone letting Lucky know this wasn’t her typical style.

  His guard went down. This explanation took care of his concerns. “Now all you need to be doing is waiting at the bus stop sucking on a lollipop.”

  Secret laughed with him at the reference to the throwback LL Cool J song. “Well, I’ve already done the bus stop part, remember?”

  “All right, you two, enough of the pleasantries. I’ve got a date too,” Shawndiece spoke up. She looked to Lucky. “You don’t mind dropping me off around the corner right quick before you head out to wherever you going do you?”

  Now Lucky looked Shawndiece up and down in her dark denim skinny jeans, green T-shirt, and green patent leather stilettos. She toted a green leather Ralph Lauren bag. “So you got all cleaned up for a brotha and he can’t even come pick you up at your doorstep? You gotta go meet him out,” he said to Shawndiece.

  “Oh, not by his choice,” Shawndiece clarified. “He got wheels; it’s just that you can’t let everybody know where you live at. I’ma meet him out, read him, and see how things is. If he all weird or something or have stalker characteristics, I’m probably gon’ text Secret to have y’all scoop me up on y’all’s way back home. Is that cool?” Shawndiece was as serious as a law school hopeful about to take their LSAT exam.

  “Well, damn, seeming you have this whole thing planned out, I wouldn’t want to ruin your plans and all, so I guess it is cool.” Lucky chuckled. “What the hell, you just wanna go out on our date with us and just say fuck ol’ dude all together?” He was being sarcastic.

  “Naw, but good lookin’ out,” Shawndiece said as she dug her keys out of her purse and turned out the lights. That was everyone’s cue to head out of the house.

  Lucky extended his hand to aid Secret in stepping out of the house and onto the porch. “Your hands are so soft,” Lucky told her.

  “Thank you,” Secret said. She hoped the makeup Shawndiece had put on her was hiding all the natural blushing of her cheeks.

  Shawndiece locked the door and then followed Lucky and Secret to his SUV.

  “Dang, this is you, Lucky?” Shawndiece said while ogling the beautiful, shining rims on his fully loaded Escalade. “You sho’ is lucky. I likes this.”

  “Thanks, ma,” he said as he clicked open the locks and proceeded to open the door for Secret. “Hold up, I got you, too,” he said to Shawndiece
once he saw her about to get inside the backseat of the truck. “Damn, what kind of cats do you be dating for real? You ain’t used to waiting for a dude to open the door for you?”

  Shawndiece blushed and remained silent. Her answer would be in the negative. The only things most dudes were quick to open for her was a condom.

  Both Secret and Shawndiece eyed each other, impressed by the chivalry Lucky was displaying.

  Once Lucky got Secret all comfy inside the vehicle, he did the same for Shawndiece and then walked around to the driver side and got in. “I’m heading up north. Where you want me to drop you off?” Lucky asked Shawndiece before pulling off.

  “Just drive. I’ll let you know,” Shawndiece replied as they pulled off from in front of her house. After driving about a half mile Shawndiece pointed out a house. “Right here. This is good. The yellow house right there.” She continued pointing.

  Lucky pulled up to a house that had several people hanging out on the front porch, shooting the breeze. Shawndiece went to open the door to get out.

  “Girl, will you just hold up? I said I got you, dang,” Lucky said.

  “Oh, yeah, my bad,” Shawndiece said as Lucky got out of the car. She then quickly leaned into Secret’s ear. “Girl, it’s all good. Ain’t no other niggas tucked nowhere in the truck or anything, so you good to go.”

  Shawndiece had insisted on pretending that she needed a ride from Lucky just so she could scope out the truck and make sure Lucky didn’t have any of his boys inside pretending like they needed to be dropped off somewhere.

  “Girl, you fresh meat and a dog can smell fresh meat a mile away,” Shawndiece had warned Secret. “And no matter the dog, they always got tricks. That nigga been done got you up in his car, have all his boys waiting inside thinking they gon’ get a piece of you too. That’s what happened to Tashayda. They slipped something in her drink and she for real-for real don’t know who the daddy of her baby is.”

  Shawdiece’s cautionary tale had convinced Secret to go along with the little charade of her needing a ride to meet her date; all the while she was really just going over her cousin’s house to kick it. And of course, there was no way she’d planned on texting Secret to come pick her back up considering Secret didn’t have a cell phone. That was just another tactic to let Lucky know she’d be checking in on her girl, so not to do anything stupid.