by L. P. Dover
“I thought you didn’t want this,” he murmured, his breath fanning across my lips.
“I shouldn’t, but I do.” I closed my lips over his and wrapped my arms around his neck.
He gave in and deepened the kiss, holding me tight against his hard body, but then he pulled back. “Fuck me,” he growled. “We can’t do this.”
“What’s wrong?”
Sighing, he picked my shirt up off the floor and handed it to me. “The last thing I want is for tomorrow to come and you regret every minute of it. It doesn’t need to be on a whim.”
For the longest time, I stood there and stared at my shirt. What the hell just happened? Did he really just turn me down?
“Are you okay?” he murmured, tracing a finger down my cheek.
Nodding quickly, I took my shirt and held it to my chest. Who would’ve thought Camden Jameson would be the voice of reason. “Yeah, I’m fine. I understand. I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have done it.” Holy shit, I felt so fucking stupid.
I tried to walk away, but he blocked my path. “Yes, you should have. Because tomorrow, if you still want to do this, there’s nothing that’s going to keep me from fucking you senseless.”
He tried to pull me to him, but I backed away, clenching my shirt tighter. “No, it’s okay. I let the moment get to me. It’s not going to happen again.” I was afraid to look at him because I was embarrassed.
“If that’s what you want,” he said, stepping out of the way. Being the coward I was, I kept my attention on the floor and bolted to get my bag and rush off to the bathroom. It was over. I couldn’t do it anymore. For his sake and mine, I needed to get out before things really got complicated. In my bag, I grabbed my phone and found Mason’s number.
Me: I did something bad.
Mason: What the fuck happened?
Me: I’d prefer not going into details. Let’s just say I fucked up and did something I shouldn’t have.
Mason: What the hell, B?
Me: Sorry.
The last thing I wanted to do was tell him that I was the one who made the first move. I had no doubt Camden would once Mason called him to check up. I could only imagine what he was going to say about me.
Getting involved with Camden was a mistake. Sighing, I turned on the water, washed my face and brushed my teeth. Everywhere I went I could smell him, taste him on my lips. I needed to get out of there.
I don’t know how long I stayed in the bathroom, but when I got out, all the lights were off except in the bedroom. When I peeked inside the door, it was empty. Where was he? And then I saw his feet hanging off the edge of the couch and the sound of his deep breaths. He was asleep. Tiptoeing to the bedroom, I shut off the light and quietly made my way to the kitchen. I rummaged through the drawers until I found a small notepad and pen so I could write him a letter and also leave an address.
Now all I had to do was get out without waking him up, which wasn’t hard to do. I placed the notes on the coffee table and glanced over my shoulder when I got to the door. He was going to be angry, but it was better this way.
THE SOUND OF my phone ringing dragged me out of a nightmare. But when I opened my eyes, I was still in one. Fuck. The sun shining through the windows was so goddamned bright I couldn’t see. Fumbling around for my phone, I found it and answered.
“Yeah.”
“Good morning to you too, sunshine,” Mason chuckled.
“Fuck off,” I grumbled, sitting up. My head pounded and I groaned.
“Hard night last night?”
“You have no fucking idea.” Then it hit me. Brooklyn was there, or at least she was before I passed out. Jumping to my feet, I marched to my bedroom and wasn’t surprised to see it empty. She fucking left.
“So, what happened? Did you go out with that girl?”
“Uh-huh,” I said, searching around the condo. Did she really just up and leave after last night?
“I take it that everything didn’t go so well.” I was about to say no until I found the letter on the coffee table.
“Not really, but I’m going to change that. Just answer me this. When you were around Claire, how did you know you wanted to be with her? What made her different from every other woman?”
He chuckled. “Shit, there were a lot of things. She’s strong, a fighter. I think guys like us need women like that, someone to keep us on our toes. She’s also smart, beautiful, and genuine. It’s hard to find women who want to be with us for who we are and not what we do. I just got sick of fucking all the wrong ones, you know?”
“I know what you mean. However, in my case, that’s not a problem anymore. Everyone looks at me like I’m fucking deformed. But this girl is different, Mase. She looks at me like I’m a normal guy, even though I’m a monster. For months, no one has looked at me like that.”
“So what happened? Did you fuck her?”
“Nah, we kept it pretty tame. I didn’t want her to do something she’d regret. Although, I’m pretty sure she’s mad at me right now.”
Mason grunted. “Why bother then? Just find someone else, like usual.”
“There’s just something about her I can’t let go. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before.”
“Ah shit. And what’s that?” he asked.
“Fight for something that’s actually worth it.”
It was after six o’clock but I tried knocking on Brooklyn’s door anyway. It didn’t surprise me when she didn’t answer. Hopefully, it was because she was at the gym and not ignoring me.
By the time I got out to the parking deck, I was about to get in my Jeep when a voice called out behind me. “You’re running a little late, aren’t you?”
I turned around and there in a red Dodge Charger was Jason. “Just a little,” I replied.
“You haven’t seen my sister have you? I tried calling her and she’s not picking up.”
I shook my head. “Not since last night. I tried knocking on her door this morning but she didn’t answer.”
“Hmm,” he said, pursing his lips. “You didn’t piss her off did you?”
“Actually, I think I did. I’m on my way to the gym to talk to her.”
“You can ride with me if you want. I would say I’d kick your ass if you hurt her, but she’s strong enough to take care of herself.”
I rolled my arm and still felt a pang where she twisted it. “Tell me about it.” I walked around the back of his car and put my gym bag in his back seat before getting in.
“So what happened between you two?” he asked as he took off.
I wasn’t about to tell him all of it. “Did you know we ran into your parents last night?”
His eyes went wide and he accidentally hit the brakes, making us jar forward. “Shit, sorry about that. What the fuck happened?”
“I didn’t hear all of it, but it was pretty heated. We ended up walking out.”
“Fuck,” he growled. “I told her they were in town. I guess they’re still pulling the same shit as always.”
“I think so. She told me about the accident.”
“She told you?” he inquired, his voice full of shock. “She hasn’t been talking to anyone about Braylen.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. All I can say is, I’m sorry, man. I lost my father in a similar situation.”
“I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It was hell,” he murmured. “Nothing’s been right ever since. B must feel comfortable with you to tell you all of that.”
“And I fucked it up. That’s why I need to talk to her.”
“She’s probably at the gym. I’m gonna warn you though, her ex will be there too. He’s been hard up for her ever since she got back into town.”
Knowing he was probably there with her at that very moment pissed me off. He didn’t deserve to be anywhere near her. Hell, I didn’t either. I was just as bad as he was, most likely worse. “You don’t think she’ll get back with him, do you?” I asked.
“With Blake? Hell no. B’s not the type to take shit from anyo
ne. He can try all he wants, but I know he’s not going to succeed.”
That may be true, but if he was persistent he was going to be a pain in my ass.
“How are you at gambling?” he asked slyly.
“Depends on what I’m gambling for.”
Jason chuckled and his eyes brightened. “Then I think we’re going to have some fun. Make sure you don’t make plans for Friday night.”
I ARRIVED AT the gym right on time and wasn’t shocked to see my brother wasn’t there. He had tried calling me, but I didn’t feel like talking to him. I was hoping to be alone for a while before his inevitable barrage of questions, but sadly it wasn’t meant to be. Blake was lifting weights over in the corner. Maybe I could put the hoodie over my head and I could go unnoticed. It was silly, but I did it anyway. My eyes were puffy and I looked like shit.
So far the only people in the gym I recognized were Blake and another fellow cop, Wyatt Erickson. The treadmills were on the other side of the gym so I fled there and pulled out my iPod. I hadn’t run since being on the beach with Camden. I needed to feel the burn, the ache in my muscles instead of in my heart. Scrolling through my music, I settled on a track by Linkin Park and turned it up before racing away. I hid behind my hood and just ran.
I bypassed one mile, then two, and then five. Sweat poured down my skin and my lungs were on fire. Another mile, then another passed. I would’ve done more if I wasn’t grabbed around the waist and ripped off the treadmill. My earphones fell out and I could hear Blake shouting at me.
“Brooke, stop.”
Now that everything had slowed down, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and feel the blood rushing through my veins. Not to mention, the whole room started to spin. “Get off me,” I warned.
As soon as he let me go, my knees gave out from under me and he caught me. “What the hell’s your problem? Why are you trying to run yourself to death?”
“Because it makes me feel good,” I answered gruffly.
“Well, you don’t look good. In fact, you look like shit. What’s going on with you?” He turned me around in his arms and I had no choice but to hold onto him. It was a mistake working out while mentally and physically exhausted.
About that time, Jason and Camden walked through the front door. Blake noticed them and tried to pull me in closer. If that wasn’t bad enough, Camden’s eyes found us at that exact moment. His fists clenched and his eyes narrowed. It didn’t go unnoticed by Blake.
“What the hell. Why is he looking at you like that?”
I took a deep breath, picked up my bag, and started for the weight benches. “Drop it.”
When I turned around, Blake was there with Camden right behind him. Cam’s hair wasn’t gelled which made it look lighter. I tried to keep from shivering and failed. Blake noticed my unease and huffed when he realized we weren’t alone. “Can I help you?” he asked angrily.
Camden didn’t even acknowledge him and stepped out from behind him. “I need to talk to you,” he said, looking straight at me.
Blake’s nostrils flared. “Can’t you see we’re in the middle of something?”
Again, Camden ignored him and kept his gaze on mine. Blake was about to explode, but I grabbed his arm. “What is wrong with you? Calm down.”
Breathing hard, he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I don’t like the guy.”
“I don’t care. He’s our responsibility right now, so whatever macho shit you have going on, you need to get over it.” I trudged away. Closing the distance to Camden, I nodded toward the back. “Follow me.”
Jason lifted his brows when I looked at him, but I shook my head. The guys were going to give me hell when we got together this Friday. Down the hall, there were several extra rooms used for yoga classes and such. I ushered Camden into one and shut the door.
“I have to admit,” he started, “I’m usually the one kicking girls out in the mornings. Not the other way around.”
Yes, I know. Standing up straighter, I looked him right in the eyes. “I was embarrassed. I’m not ashamed to admit that.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I was the idiot. I thought I was going to come here and have to beg you to talk to me.”
I’d been angry at him at first for turning me down, but it was a good thing he did. I couldn’t stay mad at him for making the right decision when I was too blind to see. Forcing a smile on my face, I shook my head. “No, Cam. I acted on impulse last night, but I’ve had time to think about it. You were right. I was acting on a whim and it was stupid.”
He stepped forward. “The only thing stupid was me pulling away. And I’m going to make it up to you.” The way he looked at me had me frozen in place.
I thought I could fight the attraction, but I was wrong. “How?” I asked.
His hands reached out and clasped my face, drawing me closer. I took in a breath before his lips closed over mine and he deepened the kiss. For a brief few minutes, I melted into him and enjoyed his touch. I wanted to feel his lips on more than just my mouth. I broke away from the kiss, my heart thundering in my chest.
“I didn’t think you were ever going to kiss me again,” he murmured, resting his forehead to mine. “Come over tonight. We’ll do this right.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “I can’t. My decision still stands. You and I just aren’t going to work. It can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because it just can’t. Trust me, we’re from different worlds.” Once he was out of the danger zone, he’d go back to California and his opulent lifestyle of women and fighting. I didn’t fit in with that.
He tilted my chin and I couldn’t look away. “We may be different, but for once in my life I know what I want. I can’t let it go.”
I held onto his hand and squeezed. “I don’t think you have a choice. I know others don’t see it, but you’re a great person. Believe me, this is for the best. We can always be friends.”
The door to the room opened and a group of elderly ladies came in with their yoga mats. We quickly walked out of the room, but then he pushed me against the wall and caged me in. “I don’t want to be just friends with you, Brooklyn. I feel something and it isn’t because you’re my fucking friend. It’s more. You may be able to ignore it, but I won’t.”
Now it was his turn to walk away from me. The ladies looked at me like I was stupid for letting him walk out, and maybe I was. One thing was for certain. I needed to stay as far away from him as I could. Starting first with getting out of the condo.
IT’D BEEN FOUR days without a word from Brooklyn. She never answered her door and she stopped going to the gym. I had no other link to her other than her brother. I missed being at the beach where I could fight. So far, there was nothing here besides getting into a bar fight and being thrown in jail. I needed the fight, it was in my blood. If I didn’t hit something soon, I was going to fucking implode.
“Have you talked to your sister?” I asked.
Jason laughed and set his weights down. “Damn, I thought a guy like you would be over her by now. And yes, I’ve talked to her. I talk to her every day.”
“Has she said anything about me?”
He sighed and swiped a towel over his forehead. “My sister’s been through a lot. She needs someone good, someone stable. Although, I have to admit you surprised me at the bar last night when you turned down that girl.”
Jason and I had hung out every night this week and hit the bars. It brought back memories of Ryley when he and I would do the same thing. I missed having my brother. Needless to say, there were tons of hot women at the bars that I had no desire to talk to. One even cornered me in the bathroom and tried to suck my dick.
“What can I say? She’s not what I wanted, none of them could measure up to Brooklyn,” I said to him. “So what do you suggest I do? I’m not exactly the expert on doing the right thing.”
“For starters, I’m going to take you back to your building and then once seven o’clock rolls around, I wan
t you to walk down to Second Street Bar. A bunch of us get together every Friday and Saturday night to gamble. It’ll be fun. Just make sure you bring plenty of cash. Brooke will be there.”
A sly smile spread across his face. “Now that I can handle.”
Before leaving to go to the bar, Mason called. “Any news on Scar?” I asked, opening the door. I started down the hall and pressed the button for the elevator.
“Not yet. Just calling to see how you’re holding up. You seemed kind of tense the last time I talked to you.”
“Frustrated is more like it. You know the girl we talked about?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I haven’t been able to talk to her all week. She refuses to see me. It’s such a pain in the fucking ass. She kept giving me bullshit excuses the other day. It’s like she’s hiding something from me.”
“She’s a woman,” he chuckled. “They always have reasons for doing and saying the shit they do.”
“All I know is, she’s going to be at the bar tonight and I’m going. Whatever game she’s playing ends tonight. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“Just be careful. From what you told me, this girl isn’t so easily persuaded.”
“That’s for damn sure.”
The elevator door opened, so I said my goodbye and got in. I was ready to get this night started. The night was a little humid from the afternoon rain but I could sense more was coming by the thunder rumbling overhead. Second Street Bar was only two blocks away and Jason was out front talking on his phone. When he saw me, he hung up and waved me over.
“You ready to make some money?” he asked.
“Depends. You never told me how you all gamble.”
He smirked and opened the door. “Why don’t you come and see? I don’t think you’ll have any problems tonight.”