Our Darkest Maze

by Sarah Bailey

  There was me. And there was Aurora.

  “Logan, fuck. Harder!”

  I bit my lip, pounding into her like a man who’d gone without sex for years. The way she cried my name as I gave it to her was so fucking sweet. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold out. The need to come hammered in my veins, making me drunk off it.

  I let go of one of her hips to allow me to slide my fingers underneath her and find her clit. She whimpered, perhaps feeling a little sensitive from the two orgasms I’d already given her.

  “Come for me, little masochist. Show me how good you can be.”

  Aurora twisted on the table, her arms shifting. Her eyes met mine. The burning need in them had me stroking her harder whilst I continued to fuck her sweet, tight pussy. Her mouth opened but no sound came out. Her eyes became unfocused and her body tensed. She let go a moment later, silently crying out her pleasure as if the sensations had overwhelmed her.

  I don’t think Aurora had ever looked more beautiful to me in those seconds when she came all over my cock. The way her pussy pulsed had me hard pressed not to let go myself. It was all too much for me to handle. The magic and fucking insanity of this moment.

  I pressed into her one last time before half collapsing on top of her as I came, my forehead digging into her shoulder.

  “Fuck, Rora,” I groaned, “Fuck, fuck.”

  Her pussy continued to clench around my cock as I came. Everything about this had been fucking incredible from start to finish. And I was relatively sure Aurora would agree with my sentiment if she had the wherewithal to talk. The two of us stayed like that for a long time, both panting from exertion.

  “Was that everything you wanted?” I whispered in her ear before kissing her jaw.

  “It was way better than I hoped.”

  “You ready to admit how good I am?”

  She let out a sigh, shifting against me.

  “Don’t let this go to your fucking head, Logan.”

  “I won’t.”

  Her eyes met mine.

  “You’re amazing and I can’t get enough of your tongue, fingers and cock.”

  I leant closer and kissed those beautiful lips which had made me feel so fucking alive with their words.

  “You’re pretty fucking amazing too,” I told her when I pulled back.

  I meant it. She was everything I’d ever wanted in a woman. And so much more.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Logan linked his fingers with mine above us as we lay in his bed with him on his back and me leaning on his chest. After the rather intense sex we’d had, neither of us was in any rush to do anything more than be with each other.

  He’d been less troubled today, unlike when I’d seen him during the week. When he told me what his dad had said to him, my heart hurt at the brokenness of Logan’s voice. Whilst I wanted to take over the Syndicate from my parents, Logan had no interest in owning Bensons. I could understand why he felt so conflicted. Why he couldn’t tell his parents.

  Logan was the eldest of his cousins. I knew that much as I’d looked his family up years ago. Whilst his father, twin aunts and his uncle owned and ran the company jointly, Logan would be the one who would run it when they retired. Even I wasn’t facing that prospect. Duke would be my partner in the business. Funny when we argued like nobody’s business. I could count on my brother though. We wouldn’t let each other down. It made me wonder why Logan’s family had decided he would be the sole benefactor. It’s something I couldn’t ask. I didn’t want him to think I was trying to pry into his life. We weren’t in a relationship. I might be his toy in the bedroom, but outside of it? Fuck knows what we were.

  “Tell me something about your family,” he murmured as his blue eyes settled on me.

  “My family?”

  He nodded, giving me a smile.

  “Why are you interested in them?”

  Given the amount of shit we caught off people over having five parents, me and my siblings kept our mouths shut. Not to mention all the dark secrets my parents had about their pasts. If anyone gave me a hard time over it, I did not hold back. I’d kicked a guy at school in the balls for daring to insinuate my mum was a nymphomaniac whore. As I hadn’t been seen doing it and he was too embarrassed about being caught out like that, I didn’t get in trouble. Kids at school knew not to mess with me.

  “I just am.”

  I narrowed my eyes, feeling my hackles rising.

  “Do you have any idea how many people ask me about them like they have any right to know? Too many and none of them are pleasant about the fact I have four dads and one mum.”

  Logan’s smile dropped and his fingers tightened around mine.

  “I’m merely curious about your life. Is that so wrong?”

  It was when he kept telling me we weren’t in a relationship. Why should we get to know each other? Wouldn’t it be better to keep this as sex?

  Don’t kid yourself into thinking you haven’t gone way past the just sex stage. He’s shared his secrets with you. That means something.

  I sighed.

  “Promise me you’re not going to tell anyone. My parents like to keep our private life just that… private.”

  “I promise.”

  His tone was sincere, so I believed him.

  “And no judging, okay? I get enough people saying my mum’s a slut as it is.”

  His eyes widened. The world could be a cruel place. My brothers and I had learnt how fucked up it could be from a young age growing up with the family we had.

  “I would never say that about your mother, Rora. Jesus, that’s what you have to put up with?”

  “You asked me what the fuck was wrong with my family when you realised I have four dads, so excuse me if I need to make sure you won’t say something cruel.”

  He looked away, his expression darkening. The day we’d run into each other at the hotel when his cousin was getting married, he had said some rather hurtful things. Logan never apologised to me. I didn’t expect him to.

  “I admit I may have been a little judgemental back then.”

  “A little? Yeah okay, whatever you say.”

  “Rora…”

  I looked away, tugging my hand from his. I didn’t feel like being coupley with him any longer. We weren’t even a fucking couple. Why did he have to go ruin it by asking about my family?

  “I don’t want to be reminded of the fact my family isn’t normal. It’s not like there was a huge thing at school when it came out my brother got beaten up by some kids for it or anything.”

  His fingers tucked under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes again. There was compassion in them which hurt me. It fucking stung. I’d known about those kids bullying Raphi, but he and Duke wanted to keep it from our parents. We stuck together. I kept my mouth shut for them. My brother didn’t deserve what happened to him. He shouldn’t have been kicked and punched over our parents, nor his sexuality.

  “Hey, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think asking about them would be such a sore subject for you.”

  It hadn’t been until my silence had cost one of my brothers dearly. Then I realised how fucked up the world was. How people were still judgemental pieces of shit about anything deemed ‘not normal’ by society’s standards. Fuck society as far as I was concerned. Who the hell decided they were in charge of policing everyone’s personal lives?

  “It’s not you, it’s everyone else. I’m lucky people are too busy being dickheads about my parent’s relationship to bring up all the rest of the shit about them and their pasts. No one understands what it’s like to live with that legacy.”

  I don’t know why I told him. It’s not like I had any idea if he’d learnt about my family background. It wasn’t hard to go searching for my mother’s connection to the criminal underworld, only people didn’t associate her with the Russo name any longer since she’d changed it to my grandpa’s last name. She’d been known as Ashleigh Bykov since long before I’d
been born.

  Logan’s expression softened.

  “I do.”

  I didn’t know what to make of his words.

  “How?”

  I hadn’t dug too far into Logan’s family background. Hadn’t seemed relevant.

  His brow furrowed.

  “You don’t know about my grandfather?”

  “No… I’m not a stalker.”

  That made him smile. He reached out and took my hand again.

  “I never met him. He died when I was eighteen, in prison where my parents, aunts and uncle put him for killing their mother and abusing them when they were younger. It was a big scandal when it came out. My family has always been in the public eye, what with being in the fashion industry… then we have my uncle who married an ex-sex slave who was sold into it by her own father. The only reason that was big news was due to there being a manhunt for him after she finally went to the police over his involvement, not to mention who her original captors were. So yes, I understand what a dark family history can look like. My family has made sure we haven’t had our name embroiled in scandals ever since.”

  Logan’s eyes had darkened as he talked about his family history. I had no idea, but I was too young to have lived through it. And I felt for him. Whilst my mother had never been abused, she’d been through hell and back with the man she thought was her father. Not to mention what happened to my dads, especially Rory. He had the worst childhood imaginable, but he was one of the kindest and most caring people I’d ever met in my life. He told me once it was my mum who saved him from the darkness. It’s why he called her his little star. My parents had named me Aurora like the aurora borealis as a tribute to him and his love of the stars.

  “He told me to stop being seen with random women like I’m some kind of womaniser because it’s not good for the company’s reputation.”

  I had noticed there’d been no instances of him being snapped with women. There was, instead, speculation he’d met someone and was keeping her a secret. I may have stalked him online, but only because I wanted to know if I was the only woman he was spending time with. It shouldn’t matter, but it did.

  “Are you?”

  “What? A womaniser? No. Contrary to what the press thinks, I’m not a fuck boy with billionaire parents who doesn’t give a shit about anything.”

  I snorted.

  “No? You sure about that?”

  He gave me a look.

  “You want to know the truth? Before you turned up on my doorstep, I hadn’t been with anyone for months. Getting photographed coming out of clubs with women is not the same as taking them home.”

  I didn’t believe everything I saw on the internet, but the thought of this man not sleeping with anyone when he had a rather insatiable appetite towards me was difficult to imagine.

  “You really expect me to believe that?”

  “No, but it’s the truth. I don’t like giving women false expectations of commitment and to be honest, I’m not that into one night stands.”

  I shifted closer.

  “So what, if I told you the first time it was a one time deal, would you have said no?”

  His lips curved upwards in a wicked smile.

  “I would have taken you to bed anyway.”

  I raised an eyebrow. I’d learnt a lot about Logan in the past few minutes. Things I never expected.

  “Oh yeah? Did you want me that much?”

  “Yes… and I still do.”

  I’d said it in a teasing way but Logan’s voice was completely without a hint of humour. It made me falter, no longer knowing what to do with myself. The way he was looking at me had my heart thumping against my ribcage.

  “When did everything change?”

  He cocked his head to the side.

  “What do you mean?”

  “This… us… how did we go from hating each other to, well, this?” I waved at him with my free hand. “People don’t just change their minds overnight.”

  Perhaps I was projecting. My change of heart felt sudden. Or maybe I’d finally given in to what I’d always known deep down. I wanted Logan. I think I had done since the beginning when I’d laid eyes on him in the casino. The knowledge fucking terrified me. No one else in this world had ever made me feel the range of emotions this man did. He brought out things in me I never knew existed.

  I don’t know if I want to let you go, Logan. I don’t think I can.

  “I think you know when it changed, Rora. The night in the hotel when we called each other liars.”

  I swallowed. The night of his cousin’s wedding. The night he met my dad for the first time. It had changed everything. Only it took a long time for either of us to catch up with it. Clearly, it had happened for him a lot sooner than me. Logan had kissed me when I was sixteen.

  I needed to change the subject. Logan made it very clear to me we weren’t a couple. If I allowed this to go on, I might well have to own up to feelings I wish didn’t exist.

  “You asked me to tell you about my family… what would you like to know?”

  If he was at all perturbed by me doing a one-eighty, he didn’t show it.

  “How does it work with you having four fathers?”

  Logan sounded curious rather than judgemental.

  “My dads see me and my brothers as their kids regardless of who fathered us, but we only call our biological fathers Dad. It’s easier to know who we’re talking about then. I call Quinn, Dad, but not Xav, Eric and Rory. I’m closest to my mum and Rory. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Dad, but as I’ve said, he’s completely overbearing. We’re too alike so we’re constantly clashing. I don’t think it will ever stop being an issue between us.”

  I looked down at Logan’s chest, finding myself uncomfortable with what I’d admitted. Perhaps it was my guilt regarding being closer to Rory than I was to my dad. He didn’t pressurise me in the way Dad did. He didn’t ask me to be anyone but myself.

  “Do you wish it was different between you and your dad?”

  I nodded. What was it about Logan? Why did I keep giving him my truths? I’d never said any of this to Colleen and she was meant to be my best friend. Being around Logan had exposed the fact I had a lot of walls up around everyone. I didn’t let them see my vulnerabilities or weaknesses. But he saw them. He noticed without even trying.

  “I don’t want to feel all this pressure to be the daughter he’s expecting. It’s not like I’m stupid or anything. I do well at school, but it’s never good enough. Nothing I do ever feels… enough.”

  Logan reached up and stroked my cheek. I blinked back the tears burning in my eyes. The truth hurt. It lodged in my chest, making me realise I couldn’t pretend it didn’t affect me.

  “You are good enough. Anyone who can’t see that, well, they’re wrong, including your dad.”

  If I’m good enough, then why are we in this non-relationship with each other? Shouldn’t this be more?

  I didn’t like those thoughts nor the way he looked at me. Rolling on my side and dislodging his hand from my face, I tugged my hand away and fiddled with his covers, staring down at my fingers.

  “You don’t have to say nice things to me, you know.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “We aren’t friends, Logan.”

  I had to put some distance between us. He’d torn down too many of my defences. I was in serious danger of falling. It couldn’t happen. I would only be setting myself up for disaster. For heartbreak.

  “What if I want to be your friend?”

  “Why would you? Aren’t I just the girl you fuck?”

  I didn’t get a response from him. My eyes found his and what I saw in them made me tremble. He looked angry. I’d stated the truth. Why would he be pissed at me?

  “Is that what you truly believe?”

  The flatness of his voice had me swallowing.

  “Honestly? I have no fucking clue. You told me this isn’t a relationship. You sai
d you wanted me to be your toy. I accepted both of those things when I agreed to continue seeing you. Are you changing the rules now?”

  “Maybe I am.”

  “Were you going to tell me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I wanted to strangle him. Why was he making this hard for me to keep up with? I swear I was getting whiplash with him constantly moving the goalposts.

  “Well, that’s so fucking helpful, isn’t it?”

  One second I was glaring at him, the next I was flat on my back with him towering above me. My brain got scrambled since he wasn’t wearing anything and I was struck by how much he looked like a god in those moments. It was the same when he’d come in my mouth the first day we’d slept together. His ice-blue eyes had this certain intensity to them which did funny things to me. My stomach flipped and my mouth went dry. His hands were pinning mine to the covers by my head, but I wasn’t going anywhere. Logan had me captivated, especially when he lowered himself so our bodies were almost flush. My legs fell open on instinct, allowing him to slide between them.

  “You know as well as I do this is no longer about just wanting,” he told me, his voice vibrating over my skin, “We’re way fucking past the point of no return. Are we going to keep lying to each other and pretending this is about sex?”

  “I didn’t know we were pretending.”

  He dropped his face until it was inches from mine.

  “Liar. You know the fucking truth. You feel it.” His eyes searched mine, making me feel so open and exposed. “I care about you and you care about me. You can’t hide it from me, Rora. I see you. I see all of you. You’re just as broken and fucked up as I am. It’s why I want you. It’s why you want me. To say otherwise is dishonest and I’m done with it. You should be done with it too. Or are you too proud to admit you want more from me?”

  His words stole my breath. They stole all my rational thoughts. And they pissed me off too.