Sports Romance: Feeling The Heat

by Michelle Roberts

  “Katie, it’s cold!”

  “I need to get my mind off things.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Kat quickly said.

  “No,” Katie immediately said. Kat’s eyes flickered and Katie knew she had offended her sister a bit. “I just- I need to think. Alone.”

  Kat sighed and nodded. “I knew it. Something really is bugging you. Text me where you are, okay? If you need to get picked up or something. We’re eating dinner together. The cook’s making our favorite meal tonight.”

  Katie nodded.

  “And not more than six o’clock for your solo musings?” Kat told her before she got into the car. Katie nodded and slung her backpack over her shoulder properly.

  “Where’s she going?” Josh asked as he held the door open for Kat.

  “Central Park. I think she’s bothered by something. I’ll figure it out soon enough,” Kat said confidently. “Aren’t you coming?”

  Josh stopped and shook his head. “Actually, I just remembered I needed to do something for the fencing team.”

  Kat shrugged. “Suit yourself. Dad’s joining us for dinner.”

  “Fine. Be there by six,” Josh told her. He waited until the car drove off and then he proceeded to walk the same way Katie walked.

  She was a fast walker, down by a block already the moment he had caught up with her. “Katie!” he called out.

  Katie froze and didn’t turn around for a few breaths. His hand held onto her shoulder and that was when she spun to face him. She knew it was him. “What do you want?”

  “I can see you’d like some company.”

  “If I wanted company, I’d ask for Kat.”

  “You shunned Kat away. It’s something you don’t want to tell her.”

  She glared at him and continued walking.

  “Look, that wasn’t my best moment, I didn’t even ask for permission,” Josh began, “but there was no other time I could have done that.”

  “Why did you?” she asked him as they crossed the pedestrian walkway to Central Park.

  “Wait,” he huffed as they walked past the cars that stopped for them and the many others that crossed the road.

  “Can we sit down somewhere?” he said.

  “Is your asthma at it again?” she asked.

  He had had only one severe asthma attack upon moving in. Katie saw him first, choking and turning a bit blue everywhere. She called 911 and rode in the ambulance with him, quiet the whole time. In reality, she was panicky. She had called Kat, who was on a date, who in turn called their stepmother, Deborah, who was in a salon.

  “A bit,” he admitted, pulling out his inhaler. She saw an empty wooden and wrought iron bench ahead and motioned for him to walk there. He complied and quickly sat down, shaking his inhaler and taking a puff out of it.

  They were quiet for a moment, Katie knew he was holding his breath, waiting for the medication to kick in.

  “Alright,” he started, “where were we?”

  “Why did you kiss me?” Katie asked, not looking at him. She was staring at the tree across them, there were initials inside hearts all over the trunk. It was sad to look at, she loved nature in general.

  “I- I,” Josh breathed out heavily. He didn’t want to be at a loss for words, which was rare. “Like I said, I wanted to know what it was like to kiss you.”

  “You already have. And I think it’s a lame reason.”

  “It’s the only reason I can give, and it’s the truth.”

  “You’re an ass, do you know that?”

  “Why? Because I speak my mind? What’s so wrong about liking you?”

  “You can’t like me,” she sputtered.

  “Your dad’s divorcing my mom.”

  So it was not gossip? It was real news? He was probably just saying this for the sake of saying something useful, something significant. What happened earlier was nothing short of indecent. It was something the upper echelons of society would not want to hear about.

  “You’re just saying that.”

  “She called me. After I kissed you.” His voice was quiet.

  “It hasn’t happened yet. Things change.”

  “It changed the moment you rode that ambulance with me to the hospital.”

  “What? Some heart-stopping moment- well, lung stopping moment, caused you to see me differently?”

  He shrugged and leaned back. “No one’s ever done something like that for me before. You held my hand for a moment there. You don’t remember, do you?”

  She remembered it. She remembered everything. She remembered the look of terror in his eyes when he realized he couldn’t breathe. His eyes pleaded for help. And she stepped in. She had never forgotten that day. She had read somewhere that a traumatizing or adrenalin filled event drew people closer together. That must’ve been it. But she had liked him the moment his father announced he was seriously dating Debbie, with Debbie’s scrawny son in tow. He had been scrawny. Now he was athletic and lean, and seldom had asthma. He had a ready and welcoming smile that made anyone feel at home, while there she stood all awkward. Kat was much more hospitable than she had been that day. She hoped he didn’t remember that about her.

  “I remember,” she finally said.

  He nodded. “Well, I’m glad you do. It’s one of my favorite memories of us. Well, maybe my only memory with you. Just the whole two of us thing.”

  “I don’t get what you want out of this. Is this just some experimental phase? To see how far your morals will take you?”

  “What do I want out of this? I don’t know, I just know I like you.”

  “Why did you even do that?” she lamented. “We could have gone on with our lives, never going through this weird phase. It’s going to screw us over.”

  “Why? Are you going to allow it to screw you over?” Josh told her.

  “Weren’t you the least bit disturbed by what happened?”

  “Disturbed? No. I actually feel enlightened. It gave me a whole new perspective about life.”

  She didn’t like the sound of it. She still felt like he was on some experiment, to see if this was compatible to the rest of their family- heck, to New York society. Debbie’s family were well landed in Pennsylvania and there were rumors that many, many years ago, they loved marrying their own relatives to keep the money in. She wondered if this was how Josh felt, some deep seated urge to have a different kind of relationship with family. It was disgusting to think about, and it made what happened between them even more disgusting.

  “Look, don’t think too much about it, alright?” Josh suddenly said, “If it bothers you so much, we can go on with our lives, just the way you like it. It’ll take time, but we’ll both manage. Anyway, with their pending divorce and all, it’ll make things easier.”

  Boy, was he wrong. It made things hard for her. Josh still lived in the same house a week after they had that strange heart to heart talk. Heart to heart? Didn’t they just admit to each other that they liked one another in their own weird ways? It was strange to face each other every morning. It was strange to be in the same car going to and from school. He was right though; they did their best to go on with their lives. It just wasn’t the say she liked it. That conversation changed the way she behaved around him even more. She had become self-conscious and Kat saw the changes and she didn’t like it.

  “Katie,” Kat began, fresh from a shower. It was past nine on that chilly Saturday night.

  “Hmm?” Katie said, not looking up from her book on Greek Mythology. She had finally had the time to read through it, trying to distract herself from thoughts of Josh. And the library. And that kiss. It bothered her. “Aren’t you going out?”

  “Yes I am. I think you should too.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re hung up on some guy,” Kat replied without batting an eyelash.

  Katie’s cheeks reddened and she shifted the book so that Kat wouldn’t see. “What make you say that?” she asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

&
nbsp; “The last time I saw you like this was when you had a huge crush on Gregory Portland in seventh year. Or when you failed a calculus exam- impossible though because you passed yesterday.”

  You got me, Katie thought. “I’m just feeling off.”

  “You’re not the only one feeling off.”

  “You okay there?” Katie asked, immediate empathy pouncing for her sister.

  “Oh, I’m fine. I had a great movie night with Ethan last night,” Kat said excitedly, referring to a senior from a different private school. “It’s Josh that’s also off.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He hasn’t been smiling much. I’m not used to it,” Kat laughed.

  Katie froze. For Kat to notice it meant she knew something. Something about them? Did she see them? She didn’t want to lie To Kat if she ever asked about them…

  She found herself shrugging at her twin. “It’s probably just fencing stuff. Or girls,” she said nonchalantly.

  “Speaking of,” Kat suddenly said, sounding excited, “I heard that Josh started dating that sophomore, Denise Claymore.”

  “Oh.” It was all she said.

  “Maybe he isn’t really up for it. I don’t feel sparks.”

  “It’s not like you’ve been with them on their dates,” Katie reminded her sister.

  “Oh, I just feel it,” Kat assured her, “so, what are you reading?”

  “Greek mythology,” Katie told her sister.

  “Haven’t you read that like a hundred times? Which part are you rereading?”

  “Everything, actually. I’m on the part where Zeus slept with Hera.”

  “Geez, the Greeks gods and their liking for incest. It’s disgusting,” Kat made a face as she plopped on her bed, adjacent to Katie’s.

  Katie held her breath. Even Kat had her thoughts about it. She felt guilt. But there was nothing to be guilty about. They weren’t blood related, she reminded herself. It was just that he was their brother, by their parents’ union. New York society called them family. ‘Mr. and Mrs. Hunter with their three lovely children’, a society blurb read on a daily. She suddenly wanted to tell Kat about what happened between them last week, but decided against it after three breaths.

  He had moved on anyway, there was no need to further the damage, no need to include Kat in the little drama she had allowed herself to enter into. It was a mistake, the mere talking to Josh after he kissed her was a huge mistake. It was stupid. She was stupid. They were right, she was the stupid twin.

  “Katie?” Kat broke her reverie, “something’s really bothering you. Was this from last week?”

  Katie sighed and put down her book. “I’ll tell you about this some other time. Get a shower Kat, you reek of cigarettes.”

  Kat reddened. “I didn’t really smoke. Ethan did.”

  “Right.”

  “Don’t tell dad!”

  ~

  They avoided each other whenever they could; in the house, at school, and during family gatherings. Katie and Kat saw less and less of their stepmother, furthering the gossip that their parents were getting divorced.

  Katie told herself she had to go through a few more weeks before Deb and her father were to officially announce their formal separation. It also meant Josh would be leaving. Of course he’d go with his mother, right? College was in less than a year for them. She had heard Josh mention to Kat that he was thinking of taking a gap year before college, go to some third world nation and help with kids’ education. That was a good thing. Until then, she planned to hold on, hold her breath until she no longer saw him.

  It was weird, seeing each other in hallways and ignoring each other after that. There was always some signal of recognition to each other, even when they just passed by. Now, they just completely pretended that either existed in their lives. It was a good thing Kat didn’t quite see much, as she was busy with extracurricular activities and that she and Ethan were getting serious. She missed talking to Kat about the more serious things and it still bothered her she couldn’t tell Kat about how she felt about Josh yet.

  Today however, wasn’t the day she could avoid Josh. Of all the places in the world, they had to see each other in a bookstore just a few block from where they lived. She stared at him awkwardly, hoping he wouldn’t see her. She hadn’t seen him properly for quite a while, and he still had the same cute grin that many (especially the girls) had come to like.

  He saw her. His footing shifted a bit, as if determined to walk away, but he didn’t. She stayed rooted in place.

  “Uh, hi,” he said, placing a hand on his neck, “how have you been?”

  Gee, alright I guess, seeing we live in the same house. “I’m okay,” she replied, “you?”

  “Fine, I guess.” Of course I’ll say I’m fine.

  So I heard you moved on right away after professing you felt things for me. “That’s great.” She sounded lame but she didn’t care. All she knew was she had to get away from him. Her face was heating up. She nodded at him once and started to walk away.

  “Katie-“ he began.

  She took a breath and spun around. He saw his face looking serious and she waited for him to say something.

  “It’s been weird, all this.”

  “What do you mean by all this? You were right. We have to go on with our lives.”

  “I’m not… I’m not happy with what’s happening.”

  “Your date? Shouldn’t you be telling Denise that instead of me?” she sounded stressed. She didn’t want to sound stressed.

  “Why in the hell would I tell Denise I’m unhappy with her and I want to be with you?” he said in a low voice.

  I want to be with you. I want to be with you. It had come to this now? Eight days ago it was just admitting he liked her. Now it was I want to be with you? Did he just date Denise to spite her? To test how she was going to react? He really was an asshole, wasn’t he? But the days found her liking him even more.

  “The more I resisted it, the more I thought of you.”

  “And you’re telling me this in a bookshop?”

  “I kissed you surrounded by books the last time. Shouldn’t we take this as a sign?”

  “You believe in signs? Look, Josh, I don’t know what’s playing in your head, but I don’t want to be part of your mind games.”

  “Who says this is a game?” he refuted, “you really think I’ve been keeping this for years just to play with you?”

  “No,” Katie replied flustered, “we can’t do this, think of our parents. We’re family.”

  “You’re not my family,” Josh said, sounding frustrated. “I could never look at you as a sister. If I did, that would be hella indecent.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’d like to stick by what you said. We should move on with our lives,” she said, walking past him. She was getting tired of this. She didn’t want to be all screwed up every time she saw him. She wanted to be… what was the word? Desensitized, yes that one. She wanted to desensitize herself from him.

  He called for her name but she didn’t look back. She wanted to get away from him, as fast as possible. What was she so afraid of? What society might think? Or maybe she had truly wanted to have a brother, only she didn’t think it would be Joshua Caldwell.

  Stay away, stay away, she repeated again and again. She could feel him behind her, keeping up with her pace. She crossed the road, heading for Central Park and in haste she didn’t bother to look if the street signs were lit green for pedestrians.

  “Katie!” Joshua shouted, his arm outstretched, seeing a speeding cab about to collide with her.

  Katie gasped then closed her eyes and felt herself thud to the ground.

  The world was dark for a moment. How long that moment was, she didn’t know.

  “Is she okay?”

  “That was awful.”

  “Thank god for you.”

  “Emergency services are on their way.”

  She heard murmurs all around her, wondering if it was all
a dream. She didn’t want to open her eyes. Afraid of seeing blood. She was afraid of blood. She didn’t hurt all over, though. That was good, right?

  “Katie. Katie,” someone gently whispered into her ear.

  Her eyes fluttered open and he breathed a sigh of relief. “Jesus,” he murmured, cradling half of her body in his arms. “You okay?”

  From a distance he heard the sound of sirens making their way down the street.

  Katie tried to sit up, but Joshua stopped her. “Stay still. Help’s coming.”

  “Wh- what-?” she looked dazed and he didn’t like the gash on her temple. Blood came in a steady stream. He knew she didn’t like to see blood and his hands were smeared with it.

  “You’re fine,” he told her as he saw paramedics come down from the ambulance with a stretcher in tow. They immediately checked on her, placed a neck brace and propped her on the stretcher.

  “You the hero?” the paramedic asked.

  He didn’t say anything about that. “Can I come with her? She’s… we’re schoolmates.”

  “Hop on in. I suggest you contact her relatives.”

  He was her relative, right? He saw her eyes looking confused and stressed out, even if the paramedics had asked her questions which she answered.

  “Josh,” her voice croaked and he saw her hand try to reach out for him.

  He rushed by her side as they loaded the stretcher into the ambulance and he held her hand as it drove off. They were quiet, with one paramedic checking on her external injuries.

  “Oh, you’ve got lacerations on your forearm,” the paramedic suddenly said, looking at Joshua.

  Joshua looked at his arms and saw thin gashes on them. “I’m alright,” he said. His jacket had done a good job with shielding most of the impact, but they had torn up in the process as well. He was more concerned about Katie, though. He hadn’t been able to cover her head completely.

  The ride, although short, seemed to take long for Joshua. He hadn’t called Kat yet. He didn’t want to bother his stepfather or his mother. As soon as Katie was sped into the emergency room for further assessment, he reached for his phone to call Kat, forgetting that the blood had begun to cake on his hands. He still called Kat anyway and the moment he said Katie got into an accident, Kat began to cry and sounded hysterical.