By My Side

by Wendy Lou Jones

  Kate was defeated. Tears threatened to well up but she was damned if she was going to give him the pleasure of seeing it. She looked at the dull grey floor in front of her, Elliott's crisp black leather shoes firmly blocking her way. He hesitated for a moment, his brow crinkling and then he opened the door and stood back, letting her slip away in silence.

  Kate’s hands were locked hard at her sides as she escaped the ward and walked as fast as she could, breaking out into the fresh air a few minutes later, in search of a moment's privacy. Away from prying eyes.

  ~~~

  "I know how that feels," Lena mumbled and the woman was relieved to see the girl had been paying attention. Empathy was going to help her now.

  ~~~

  Alone at last, Kate broke down. She leant back against a brick wall, with her palms pressed against the cool hard surface. She closed her eyes and tipped her head to the sky and slowly sank to the ground and wept. All the tension of the past few days had finally come to a head, exploding, quite dramatically, at Mr Elliott.

  Footsteps approached and she quickly wiped the tears from her face and pulled herself together. A porter passed by, his thoughts a million miles away from her own. Kate dabbed her eyes with an old tissue she found in her pocket and lifted her chin, ready to face the day again.

  In the canteen, she bought a sandwich and two Mars bars and found a quiet corner to sit down in. The first bar disappeared in a matter of seconds. How dare he? she thought as she sat there. Elliott had been the one losing it over one of his patients and he had had the nerve to take it out on her when all she'd done was have the courage to stand up to him. She pulled out her sandwich. He was a bully, but he was a consultant; he would never get his comeuppance. She had half a mind to go right back up to that poor lad and point him in the direction of the complaints procedure.

  She wondered at how many times Mr Elliott might have been allowed to get away with this behaviour before. Maybe it was the reason he left his last hospital, she thought. She swigged back her carton of juice and decided to pocket the other bar of chocolate for later, binned the rubbish and then held out her hands. Still trembling.

  Mr Elliott had slipped in under the radar when he’d joined the hospital almost six months before. Kate had neither particularly noticed, nor heard much about him, but if a fight had been what he’d wanted that day, then Kate had been in just the right mood to oblige him. She checked her watch. Arrogant bastard, she thought. She took a deep breath, straightened her uniform and walked back down to A&E.

  Kate said nothing of the incident to her colleagues that day, if not because she was already questioning her part in it, then for the greater fear that if she began to speak and let go of her control, she might just fall to pieces in the middle of the department. But her reluctance to share did little to quell the undercurrent of anger she felt towards the arrogant, overbearing man, for the rest of that day.

  That evening, her housemate, Sophie, realised something was up when she came home from work. She searched round the house only to find Kate in the kitchen, scrubbing the living daylights out of the work surfaces.

  "Everything all right?" she asked, looking around quickly for any clues.

  The sudden noise made Kate jump. "Grief! Don't do that to me," she said.

  "Sorry," Sophie said.

  "It was getting dirty in here," Kate told her, not faltering for a moment in her mission.

  "You know I think that bit's pretty clean now," Sophie soothed.

  Kate continued cleaning, her mind focussed on the task in hand and thereby avoiding everything else. She rubbed hard at the tiles on the wall behind the cooker.

  Sophie watched her for a moment and then walked over and laid her hand on Kate’s, stopping the movement. Kate paused mid scrub, but did not step back, so Sophie slowly took the cloth and spray out of her hands and put them to one side. Then she led Kate to the living room and sat her down.

  Sitting opposite her, Sophie took a deep breath. "Out of ten, where one is lovely and ten is crappiest day ever, what exactly are we talking about here?"

  "About a nine and a half,” Kate said.

  "Do you want to talk about it?" Sophie asked her.

  "Not really," Kate said.

  "Is it just the funeral - and I'm not saying that isn't absolutely enough on its own - but has there been something else as well?" Sophie asked.

  Kate nodded.

  "Something else as well as the hideousness of having to go through your grandfather's funeral and a day’s work?"

  Kate nodded again and rubbed her face before recoiling rapidly at the overpowering smell of bleach.

  Sophie scratched her head. "Are you on in the morning?"

  "No. A late," Kate told her.

  "Me too. How do you fancy going out and getting plastered?"

  Kate looked aghast. "What, now?"

  "Yes."

  "Oh, no, Soph. I'm shattered," she said.

  "Well, maybe we won't get plastered, but have a bit of fun, just for a bit. Yeah? It's better than moping around here feeling miserable. Your granddad would have wanted you to be out having fun, wouldn't he?"

  The corner of Kate’s mouth perked up into a soft smile as, despite herself, she remembered how full of fun her granddad had been. She sighed. "Yeah, he would."

  "Well what do you say then?"

  They met Jenny and Flis, some nursing friends, at The White Horse just before ten; they had a couple of drinks and then headed off down the road to Helix.

  By eleven, Kate was feeling wobbly. She had eaten only a sandwich and a packet of crisps before going out and had necked her first couple of drinks rather quickly.

  "Feeling any better yet?" Sophie asked when they returned from the dance floor and plonked themselves down on a seat near the bar.

  Kate nodded. "Much," she said. "Just give me a surgeon-ectomy and I'll be fine."

  "Oh dear. Which one has been rattling your cage this time?" Sophie asked.

  "Elliott," she said.

  "What, old Jolly?"

  "Who?" Kate asked her.

  "Jolly. That's what we call him on our ward."

  Kate was amused. "Appropriate.” Then she thought she’d better clarify. “Young orthopaedic consultant, right? Quite new?"

  "Yeah. Tall, dark and gloomy."

  Kate chuckled. "That's the one."

  "Why? What did he do to you?"

  "He hauled me into Sister's office and tore strips off me, that's what," she said.

  "What on earth for?" Sophie asked her.

  "I was, and quite rightly, I have to say, objecting to his behaviour, and get this, he ended up threatening to report me!"

  "He's going to report you? Why? What did you do?"

  "Bastard was ripping into this poor lad on Aintree, acting the big 'I am' and I… kind of accused him of being a bully."

  Sophie laughed, obviously surprised at Kate’s nerve. "You go, girl!" she said.

  "Oh, I wasn't as good as I would have liked to have been," Kate told her. "He was so… ugh… he was… infuriating. I tried to fight my corner, but I was rubbish and he was so icy and prickly. In the end he had me shaking in my boots."

  Sophie put her arm around her friend. "I knew something must have happened when I found you scrubbing the house to death this evening. You don't normally go all manic if you're just a bit miserable. So how did you leave it?"

  "With him threatening to report me."

  "He’s not going to, though, is he?" she asked.

  "I don't know," Kate said. "I don't think so."

  "And are you going to report him?"

  "I should, shouldn't I? But what's the point? They're hardly going to take my word over his."

  "Bloody surgeons."

  "Yeah, bloody surgeons," Kate said.

  "Speaking of the forbidden things… Do you ever hear from Guy anymore, or Lee?"

  Kate shook her head. "No, good riddance to the lot of them, I say.”

  "Here, here," Sophie said and clinked glasses. "No
t that Guy was anything like Elliott."

  "No." Kate laughed at the mere comparison. "At least Guy could be a charmer. Elliott on the other hand…"

  "Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't chuck him out of bed," Sophie said.

  "Ugh. No!" Kate was horrified.

  "You’re just mad at him. He can be a real love when he wants to be. He’s meant to be very kind to his patients. They all seem to love him.”

  “Ha!” Kate found that very hard to believe.

  "But Guy was gorgeous, you've got to admit.”

  "Yes,” Kate conceded, “but unfortunately he had a little too much bedside manner. I doubt Elliott even knows what his is for. It probably dropped off years ago… with frostbite."

  Sophie gave a wicked grin. “I dare you to find out.”

  "I'd rather snog Derek," Kate said.

  "Not Dirty-Derek from Cardiology? The human octopus? Ugh!" Sophie shivered and they both burst out laughing.

  Flis and Jenny joined them from the dance floor, slumping down in the seats close by.

  "You look better," said Flis, brushing her blonde curls away from her face. "They're not a lot of fun, are they, funerals?"

  "No. I'm not sure anyone has ever described funerals as 'fun', Flis," Sophie said. "But it's not that. The girl's got surgeon-itis again."

  "Oh, lord. Which one now?" Jenny said, perking up.

  "Elliott," Sophie said.

  "Elliott?"

  "Not like that," Kate added quickly. "We had a run in today."

  "Which one's Elliott?" Flis asked.

  “Orthopaedics. Took over from Mr Grant.”

  “Arrogant, self-righteous, pompous pillock,” Kate muttered under her breath.

  The other three looked at each other.

  “How much has she had to drink?” Jenny asked.

  “Not enough, obviously,” said Sophie with a smile and she lifted Kate’s hand with her glass in back up to her lips.

  Kate swallowed back another gulp and shook herself. “Okay, I’m better now,” she said. “Hey, have any of you seen the new anaesthetics registrar yet? The one everyone’s raving about.”

  “I have,” said Jenny, excitedly. “He’s lush.”

  “Lush? How old are you?” Sophie asked.

  “Well, if you don’t want to hear about him.”

  “Ignore her,” said Flis, straining to hear what was being said. “I do.”

  Jenny beamed. “He’s gorgeous, isn’t he? He’s called Peter.”

  “Peter? Peter what?” Sophie asked.

  “Florin,” Flis put in.

  “He came on to our ward today and he’s… well… He must be over six foot tall, fair, well-built and such dreamy eyes.”

  Flis was daydreaming already. “I want to switch wards,” she whined. “He’s never going to come over to Age Care. The only time I ever see him is in the corridor at lunch times.”

  Jenny shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t like him, Flis; he’s far too good for you. He’s a complete love with the patients: gentle and calming, but his eyes… What I wouldn’t give to be stuck in a lift for an hour with those eyes.”

  “Are you sure it’s his eyes you’re thinking about there?” Kate asked her.

  Flis flumped back into her seat, complaining that it wasn’t fair, and Jenny grinned mischievously.

  “Did you get to speak to him?” Sophie asked.

  “Not much. I just showed him where his patient was. But you should see the way he looks at you… He really looks at you, you know?” Jenny’s eyes were wide as she fanned her face with her hand.

  “Is he married?” Kate asked.

  “I didn’t see any ring,” Jenny said.

  Kate nodded over to Flis. “Keep bumping them off, Flis. He’ll have to be on the crash team sooner or later,” and the girls all roared with laughter at Kate’s macabre yet practical approach to romance.

  The following morning Kate was feeling a little more fragile than usual. She was woken at six-thirty by a punishing alarm that she’d forgotten to change from the previous day. She groaned, rolled over and went straight back to sleep. The next thing she knew it was a quarter past twelve, three quarters of an hour before her shift was due to begin.

  She flew out of bed at Mach eight and just about managed to hurtle through the doors to A&E only a few minutes after the shift had started, still a little dazed and with the mother of all headaches. She slunk inside, downed a couple of Paracetamol and got straight to work.

  Half an hour later she was volunteered, along with two more junior nurses, to join the junior doctors in an impromptu teaching session. Kate walked into the clinic room and sat down and then for the next twenty minutes was bombarded with a lecture on ethics and teamwork and when it was time to go, she walked back to her duties, exceedingly suspicious of the motivation that had sparked such an extraordinary talk.

  Throughout the evening Kate made discreet enquiries to see if anyone could shed light on the reason for such a session and why she in particular had been chosen to attend it, but nothing was forthcoming.

  On Saturday, everything was back to normal. Kate was on an early, Elliott was not on call, and so had no chance of being around, and she was left to get on with her work in peace.

  ~~~

  “So who was the love of her life, then? Not Elliott, surely?” Lena asked. “Was it Peter?”

  The woman smiled. “Would you like me to go on?”

  Lena nodded, her curious gaze piercing her heavy fringe and the woman could feel the bond between them growing.

  Chapter 2

  That evening, Kate drove over to her mum and dad’s house, to see how her mum was getting on since her granddad’s funeral. Her Auntie Ann was there too, also a nurse, who worked at the local hospice. She was talking with her mum about what to do with their father’s things.

  Kate offered to help with the cleaning after the two of them had cleared his house and then she gave them a fruit cake that Sophie had made for them. “Oh, she’s an angel. You must say thank you to her from us, won’t you?” her mum said, carrying the cake out to the kitchen for slicing. “I don’t know how you’d manage if she ever moved out.”

  “I’d starve,” Kate said.

  “You would an’ all.”

  “But I wouldn’t starve in squalor.”

  “No, that you would not,” her mum replied and she smiled. “You both bring your strengths to the table, don’t you?”

  “Of course. Why do you think I chose her? She cooks, I clean. It’s a perfect match. Shall I make some drinks?”

  The three of them sat down around the dining table, with a piece of cake and a cup of tea. “How have you been, love?” her mother asked her.

  “Okay, I suppose,” Kate said. “I had a bit of a run-in with a consultant after the funeral the other day, but the girls took me out to Helix to cheer me up, so…”

  “You had a run-in? Who with?”

  “One of the consultants.”

  “What about?”

  Kate paused, cautious of upsetting her mother any further. She shook her head. “Nothing much.”

  “Katherine?”

  That was Kate in trouble. Her mother never called her by her full name otherwise. She scowled.

  “Well, tell me then.” Her mum gave her a ‘you’re going to tell me one way or the other, so you might as well get it over with’ kind of look and Kate heaved a big sigh.

  “I just caught him having a go at one of the patients on the ward.”

  “And?”

  “And he was treating him like dirt.”

  Her mum looked at her for a moment. “And you thought of your granddad,” she said.

  Kate nodded and dropped her gaze to the table and her mum reached across and squeezed her hand.

  “I should never have told you about that. It was probably nowhere near as bad as I made it out to be.”

  “Was Granddad upset?” Kate asked.

  “Well, yes, he was, but-”

  “And you were fuming?”
/>   “Yes, at the time-”

  “Then it was bad enough.”

  Kate’s mum considered for a moment and then seemed to decide to let it slide. “So what did you do? Or, I guess more importantly, what did he do?”

  Kate told them everything and then waited, a little anxiously, for their response.

  “You’ll be all right, Kate. You’re a good nurse and you care about your patients. He won’t be able to make much more of it than that,” her Auntie Ann said and she winked.

  “Well I’m proud of you,” her mum added. “If only more people stood up for those less fortunate than themselves it would be a better world to live in.”

  Auntie Ann smiled. “Which one was it?”

  Kate looked across. “Elliott.”

  “Seriously?” She seemed bemused. “He’s always seemed like such a lovely man when I’ve had anything to do with him.”

  “You know him?” Kate asked, surprised.

  “Yes. At least, I assume it’s the same one. His mother is in with us at the moment. You surprise me. I tell you, if I was twenty years younger…”

  “Auntie Ann! I’ll tell Uncle Malc,” Kate said.

  “I’m only kidding.”

  “You must be,” Kate told her.

  Her aunt looked at her watch and gasped. “Goodness, is that the time? I’d better get going or your uncle’ll be round here banging the door down and demanding his tea.”

  They all stood up and cleared their plates to the kitchen and then Kate and her mum saw her auntie to the front door. Auntie Ann turned and called out a goodbye to Kate’s dad and then hugged her sister. She turned back to Kate. “Don’t let him get to you,” she said and then agreeing to meet with her mum at their dad’s house the following week, she hugged them both once again and said goodbye.

  When the door clicked shut, Kate’s mum put her arm around her and they walked back in to the living room. “Are you sure you’re all right, love?” her mother asked.

  “It did shake me up a bit,” Kate admitted, “but Soph took me out to let off some steam.”