Impossible

by Jason Letts

  The Wheelers’ discomfort, evinced through set jaws and hard stares, appeared to grow in each passing moment. Cammie scowled, and Nathan scratched his chin derisively.

  “What, so everything was just a big lie?” he questioned.

  “No, not a lie. It was a game, which was fun while it lasted, but now we’re going to have to change things if we’re going to continue to play,” she explained.

  “What makes you think we want to have anything to do with you if we can never trust anything you say?” Cammie asked, a harsh note in her voice, but the young woman only grinned.

  “Well, you trusted me just fine when I was lying to you,” she answered. At that moment both Nathan and Cammie blinked, and when they opened their eyes the girl had vanished. Twisting around, they discovered she was directly behind them. “So wouldn’t you trust me more when I was telling the truth?”

  Nathan and Cammie took a step back to give her some distance. For as oddly disconcerting as her behavior was, Nathan was even more entranced by her confidence and allure.

  “You want to start telling the truth? Fine, what else is there you haven’t told us?” Nathan snapped at her.

  “Why don’t I start with my name?” she asked.

  “Your name?” Nathan echoed.

  “You knew Apoxy was made up on the spot. Haven’t you ever been curious what it was before? I hope you didn’t think I never had a name before I met you, Nathan,” she snickered.

  “Ok, what is it?”

  “My name is Eve, because you can’t spell “forever” without Eve.”

  Chapter 6

  I woke up in McDonald’s to find the young man working there gawking at me from the center of the aisle, but it was a different one than the boy who’d served me the night before. This one held a mop in his hand and had girlishly long hair.

  “How long have you been watching me?” I asked, lifting my sleep-marked face from my arms. His eyes immediately made me uncomfortable, and I was further off put when he sucked his lips before answering.

  “Sorry, I was just supposed to mop there.”

  I glanced below the table to find that my coffee had been spilled on the floor. Not only that, but my shoes and socks had been removed and my bare feet were covered in the coffee. I cringed, completely grossed out. There was no way I’d voluntarily taken my socks off before I’d passed out at the table. The only question I had was if this boy had done it or if a completely different person I’d never seen did.

  “Can you please stop looking at me like that?” I asked, embarrassed and repulsed. The young man started to mop other parts of the floor, but it only took him about ten seconds to find another chance to glance at me.

  Feeling more uncomfortable than I’d ever had before, I wadded up a fistful of napkins and tried to dry off my feet. My socks and shoes hadn’t gotten wet, thankfully, and soon they were back on and I was ready to go. Figuring the boy owed it to me, I dumped the napkins on the floor for him to clean up as I left.

  It was just as cold outside this morning as it had been last night, and I struggled to recall the decisions I’d made about what I was going to do. State College was a two-hour drive away, and the only way I could think of to get there was to hitchhike. I must really love Nathan, because I knew that was something I should never do, but I was willing to take my chances for him.

  It took me about a half an hour to walk to the highway entrance ramp. The whole way I couldn’t get my mind off of how dreary everything looked. The bit of snow on the ground by the road was all dirty, and the clouds above my head were the same color as smoke.

  Standing by the entrance ramp, I wasn’t sure what to do to get someone to pick me up. I put out my thumb, but the cars kept zooming by. It crossed my mind that I could try to do something sexy to get some attention, but that would probably attract the exact opposite kind of people I was hoping would give me a ride.

  I just stood there for a while and eventually a green sedan pulled over a little ways ahead of me up the ramp. Jogging over, I came to the lowered passenger window and appraised the driver.

  “Where you headed?” a guy in his thirties who had blonde hair and a smile asked. Rock music dribbled softly from the speakers and the car was pretty clean. I decided though that I’d be better off not riding with a man just in case something happened.

  “Nowhere,” I mumbled, starting to back away.

  “Don’t be shy. I don’t bite,” he insisted, removing a folder occupying the passenger seat.

  “No thanks,” I said, taking one more glance at him before I turned away. He had a sour look on his face, and I couldn’t tell if it was because I’d avoided his evil scheme or if I’d insulted him with my rejection.

  Either way, he was gone a moment later and I returned to my spot, sticking my thumb out and waiting for the next car to offer me a ride. I hoped it was a woman so I wouldn’t have to turn down anybody else. An SUV slowed in front of me, and I peered inside as it pulled over. I spotted curly dark hair, and so I ran over to the vehicle.

  “Need a lift?” the woman inside asked me, and I lit up that I would finally be getting out of here.

  “Yeah, I’m going to State College. I’m really sorry, but would that be ok?” I asked.

  “No trouble at all. That’s pretty much where I’m going,” she replied. “Go ahead and get in.”

  I climbed into the seat and took another look at my generous driver. She had pale skin beneath her dark hair and also seemed to be about thirty or so. I wouldn’t exactly say she was happy, but she was kind enough about giving me a ride.

  “Do you got anything with you? There’s plenty of room in the backseat,” she noted, and I took a look back there to find only a brown cardboard box on one of the seats.

  “Nope,” I replied. “This is everything.”

  “Ok then,” she nodded, putting on her turn signal and merging back into traffic. I relaxed a little as soon as we were cruising down the highway, glad things were finally moving forward.

  “I’m Susie,” the woman said. “But everyone calls me Suze.”

  “It’s nice to meet you. Everyone calls me Apoxy.”

  “That’s good no one’s ever confused about what to call us,” Suze chuckled. “So what are you heading out to college town for anyways?”

  I bit my lip and glanced out the window at the buildings and exit signs rolling by. There was no need to go into too much detail with Suze here about my situation, but it would still probably take a little bit of lying to make it sound normal.

  “I’m on my way to surprise my boyfriend for his birthday at school, but the surprise was on me because my car broke down, leaving me totally stranded. I’m so glad you happened along or the entire day would’ve been ruined,” I explained.

  “Aww, that’s sweet,” Suze cooed, squeezing herself in a hug as best she could while keeping one hand on the steering wheel. “This guy of yours sounds awfully lucky to have you. What’s his name? What’s he like?”

  I sighed, letting the fond memories of my delicious boyfriend wash over me. If he were here right now, I’d probably just wrap him up in my love like a caterpillar in a cocoon, but having a chance to talk about his most endearing qualities was pretty nice too.

  “His name’s Nathan, and even though we’ve been together a long time he still manages to find new ways to make me fall in love with him. As for what he’s like, he’s kind of a mystery to tell you the truth. I guess I’ll just have to find out which Nathan I’m going to run into when I meet him later today. But I have a hunch he’ll be selfless, considerate, and good-hearted, all things that seem to come naturally to him.”

  Suze smiled, seemingly caught up in her own little daydream.

  “Sounds like you’re both extremely lucky,” she said, and I couldn’t help but agree. Even though things were tough for my Nathan lately, I knew that his heart was always in the right place.

  “And what about you? There must be someone special in your life?” I asked, trying to make conversation, bu
t as soon as I spoke her faint-hearted frown told me personal questions probably weren’t the best idea.

  “There was, and it was a lot like how you described it, but we ran into some tough luck and he changed along the way. I woke up one morning and realized I’d never even met this man I was sleeping next to. The divorce was hell, but fortunately we didn’t have any kids. It’s been hard since then, and I’ve had to do some things I’m not proud of to make ends meet. I hope your Nathan doesn’t put you in a similar position,” she said.

  “Me too,” I mumbled, taken aback and not sure of what else to say.

  I liked Suze, but it quickly became apparent there were touchy things we were better off not talking about. As we cruised down the highway, getting ever closer to State College, I tried to keep the discussion light and positive. Time ticked away, and I even managed to get her to laugh a couple times about silly little things before we turned off at the exit.

  State College was a big school, and tens of thousands of students went to it. The adjoining town that had developed around it seemed to contain a disproportionate number of pizza joints and bars. We came to a sign directing us to turn left for the college entrance, but Suze turned right.

  “I think you missed our turn,” I said. “The college is back that way.”

  Suze sighed, glancing at me quickly before returning her eyes to the road.

  “Is it ok if we make one little stop before I drop you off?” she asked. “I promise it’ll be quick.”

  “Alright,” I agreed, not particularly pleased about going the wrong way but accepting that this type of thing might happen when you beg rides off of strangers.

  We only went about three-quarters of a mile before turning onto a little side street that appeared to be pretty sketchy. Most of the storefronts and houses had graffiti complementing their duct-taped broken windows and dirty exteriors. The SUV came to a stop in one of the driveways beside a house that had no numbers or identifying markers of any kind. Suze turned to me, forcing a smile.

  “Now I’ve been nice enough to give you a ride all the way here,” she paused. “And I just need to ask one little favor of you in return.”

  I looked at her skeptically, already feeling more than a little weirded out. I didn’t want to have anything to do with this place.

  “It’s not a big deal,” she comforted me. “I just need you to bring this package around back and drop it off.”

  “I don’t think I feel comfortable doing that,” I answered, and Suze’s expression became a bit sterner.

  “You’re not really going to snub my kindness, are you? I thought you were better than that. Just take the package around back, knock on the door and hand it off, and that’ll be it,” she explained, but something in her eyes told me it wasn’t that simple.

  “I’m sorry. No,” I said, popping open the door. I decided I could walk from here, but before I could put one leg out her hand closed hard around my wrist. I turned back in horror to see her glaring at me.

  “I hate to do this, but I’m not asking you, sweetheart. You have to do this for me. I can’t go in there again.”

  I struggled to free myself, wondering at the same time what would make her act like this.

  “What happened to you in there?” I cried.

  Suze’s eyelids twitched as my question dredged up memories in her mind, and I couldn’t fathom what kind of terrible experiences could produce such an expression. I peeled her hand from my wrist and spilled out of the car, jogging a few steps before I glanced back.

  She wasn’t chasing me. In fact, she didn’t move at all. Suze just watched me from the driver’s seat in her SUV as I walked away as quickly as I could.

  Not until I turned the corner and walked several blocks did I start to regain some sense of normalcy. I didn’t even want to think about what just happened, choosing instead to push it from my mind and focus on what I had to do now. It took a little longer to regain my composure completely, but by the time I crossed the large sign marking the entrance of State College I knew finding Nathan would put me back on the right track.

  One glance at the map though told me what an incredibly large campus this was. So many buildings for so many different purposes, and any one of them could have Nathan inside. Well, that wasn’t true, I realized. Assuming some things about Nathan were the same, some buildings had better odds than others.

  If Nathan still studied to be an athletic trainer, he might be around the biology building. I mentally crossed off math and the other sciences because those weren’t his strong suits. He could be living on campus in one of the dormitories. My best bet was that Nathan played on the soccer team and might be somewhere around the athletic facilities.

  Walking across campus to the athletic center took some time, and I scanned the face of each student for Nathan along the way. He wasn’t to be found though, and it wasn’t until the snowy soccer fields were in view that I realized he probably wouldn’t be here either. Considering it was December, the soccer season would be over and he’d maybe only be at the gym.

  I entered the building though and was immediately pleased to find a wall full of photos featuring all the different athletic teams. The pictures took up pretty much the entire wall, and picking out the soccer team was not an easy task. But I found it eventually, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the face of my dear love Nathan wedged between a few other players.

  It made me happy to see his handsome, smiling face alongside those of his peers. This was exactly what Nathan always wanted to have, and for a moment I felt warm and fulfilled he had gotten it, but then I realized gratifying his wishes must have come with a price.

  It was proof that he was here at least, and that was enough for me to go on. I was able to walk around the gym, peeking at the basketball courts and the weight rooms, neither of which had Nathan in them. I even went so far as asking a secretary if she knew where he lived or what classes he had now, but she wasn’t allowed to tell me anything. A little disappointed, I accepted I wouldn’t find him here and headed back out into the cold.

  I meandered around campus, passing ivy-covered brick buildings that must be gorgeous in the spring. Students were mulling about here and there, and I continually kept my eyes peeled for any foxy, strong guys with light-brown hair that might be Nathan. Stopping into the school library, I wandered through the aisles for a few minutes more expecting to find Cammie than Nathan. I’d almost given up when a bell in the clock tower struck two o’clock.

  It apparently signaled the end of class, because students poured out of the academic buildings around me. Among the first to bolt out of class, a young man bearing adorably messy hair and an undeniably rugged manliness sent a jolt shooting down my spine. I’d finally found Nathan.

  But he was instantly deluged in the crowd of other students, and I pushed and fought to get to him.

  “Nathan!” I shouted, but I don’t think he heard me. I propelled myself further, finally reaching out and touching his arm to get his attention.

  “Nathan, I can’t believe I found you!”

  He turned around and squinted at me, flattered but a little bit confused. I was beaming at him, and it took all the strength I had not to bury my face in his chest and drift into outer space. His puzzled look reminded me what kind of a completely bizarre situation we were in. He had no idea who I was, and to be fair I really didn’t know who he was either. But I guess being accosted by attractive strangers was something he was used to because he didn’t waste any time getting control of himself.

  “Nathan?” he began, raising an eyebrow. “Only my Mom ever called me Nathan. My friends call me Nate, and as for girls like you, it usually helps to just see what comes out in the heat of the moment.”

  *

  Cammie was absorbed in her studies at the kitchen table when Eve slid butt-first into her field of vision until she was sitting on Cammie’s textbook.

  “Excuse me,” Cammie groaned. “I don’t think we’ve run out of chairs.”

  Eve pu
lled her leg around until she had both feet on Cammie’s chair and faced her. Gazing down at the fifteen-year-old, she looked mostly the same as she always had, wearing jeans and a button-down shirt, but the mischievous smirk was something Cammie had yet to get used to.

  “I’ve got a present for you!” Eve chirped, pulling a small red box from behind her back. It had a ribbon tying it closed, and Cammie peered at it through her glasses.

  “What is it?” Cammie asked without any interest on her face.

  “There’s only one way to find out,” Eve teased, tossing the present in the air in front of her. She pulled her hands away, and Cammie reached out to snatch it before it hit the table. Reluctantly, she caved and untied the ribbon, pulling open the red box and inspecting the contents.

  “Contact lenses?” Cammie verified, staring at the package of them in her hands.

  “That’s right! Today’s the first day of a little personality experiment I’ve cooked up.”

  “But how could you possibly get them with the right prescription? I haven’t even been to a doctor for them. And besides, I don’t even really want contacts. It wouldn’t have been any trouble for me to get them on my own if I’d wanted.”

  Eve sighed, slouching, leaning back, and lowering her head so she could be closer to Cammie’s eye line.

  “I have my ways of getting them, but that’s not what’s important now. I know why you didn’t want them, why you bury yourself in books even though I told you they won’t lead you anywhere, and why you never spend any time with people your own age,” she nodded.

  “And why’s that?” Cammie inquired, crossing her arms.

  “Because you’re afraid.”

  “Afraid of what?” Cammie snapped defensively.

  “Being happy, being liked, maybe even afraid of admitting you have feelings for boys that won’t go away no matter how deep you bury them. You don’t study because it’s hard and you want to be smart. You do it because it’s easy and then you never have to risk putting yourself out there for people.”