Not-Sex on Not-Dates

by Tess Mackenzie

  “So do you want to try this? And see what happens?”

  “For five minutes?” Liv sounded amused. “Like a time limit?”

  “I don’t know. Why not?”

  “A time limit?”

  “Fuck, dude, whatever, no time limit…” Becky said.

  “I think that’s probably best.”

  “We can take as long you like, but my top stays on. Okay?”

  Slowly, Liv nodded.

  “And we need to be careful not to fall in love or anything too,” Becky said.

  Liv coughed, and put her beer down on the floor. Becky waited, hoping Liv was only laughing. She seemed to be laughing, but Becky didn’t quite know why.

  “What?” Becky said. “Isn’t that a thing that might happen. You’re always going on about how women fall for each other in ten minutes…”

  “Some women. Not me.”

  “Well I might be one.”

  “Yep, you might be,” Liv said, still grinning.

  “Why’re you laughing at me?”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m never going to fall for you, dude. Just never.”

  “Why not?”

  “Um, because you’re you. I know you too well.”

  “Oh,” Becky said, a little disappointed.

  “I’m sorry,” Liv said, sounding almost half sincere. “I mean, it’s awful to hear, but I’d hate to lie to you and do this under, um, false pretences or whatever.”

  “So what is this? Just using each other for sex?”

  “Um, pretty much. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

  “Well, yeah,” Becky said. “I suppose. But I mean, you do still want to do this if it’s going nowhere? Like, you haven’t got some kind of secret crush on me, have you?”

  Liv laughed some more, then said, “Oh god, I’m sorry.” And then laughed again, while Becky sat there watching her.

  “I guess not,” Becky said, in the end.

  “Um, nope. Not at all.”

  “So just sex?” Becky said.

  “If you can manage to stay crush-free too.”

  “Oh I can manage,” Becky said. “I haven’t got any in months, remember?”

  “Yep, I know. And poor you again.”

  “Yep. So we should start. Quickly. Whatever it is we’re doing that’s so complicated I can’t work it out for myself.”

  Liv looked at her. “Um, what?”

  For just a moment Becky regretted trying to be funny right then. Then she decided she’s just say it anyway. “Um, the whole showing me thing,” she said. “Kind of patronizing dude, like fingering and licking people out, that’s just so complicated I couldn’t possibly work it out on my own...”

  “Some of it’s complicated,” Liv said, quite calmly.

  “I’m sure. Licking and fingering.”

  “Oh, there’s more than that.”

  Becky hesitated. “Really?”

  “Heaps more. You might find out.”

  “I might?”

  “Yep,” Liv said. “Because I thought we’d start with the simple stuff, and see how you go.”

  “Simple stuff?” Becky said, suspiciously.

  “Licking you out, I’d thought,” Liv said. “If you wanted me to.”

  “Oh,” Becky said, and felt a wet little shiver just hearing that. A sudden excited wetness she hadn’t quite expected. She was surprised, a little, by how direct Liv had been. Surprised, and excited as well. “Really?” she said, and her voice felt oddly breathless.

  “Um, yeah,” Liv said, grinning, as if she’d noticed Becky’s breathlessness too. “If you wanted me to?”

  “Oh I do. I mean, if you didn’t mind…?”

  “Um, no. Not at all. I’d really quite like to. Why? Don’t you want me to or something?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “So why are you being so… um, weird?”

  “I don’t know,” Becky said. “In case you weren’t serious, I suppose. About any of this. So you have a chance to go ha ha funny joke and stop if you want to.”

  “Um, no. I wasn’t going to do that. Why, were you?”

  Becky shook her head.

  “You’re sure?” Liv said. “You seem weirdly reluctant. I mean, for someone who just got offered head for no real reason…”

  “I think I’m just confused. I’ve forgotten how this goes.”

  “Um, you’ve never done this before, so have you forgotten…”

  “Head,” Becky said. “From anyone. Like I haven’t had that in about six months. Or more.”

  “Seriously?” Liv said, actually sounding shocked. “Fuck.”

  “Seriously, because boys, but we should talk about that later if you really care.”

  “I don’t think I actually want to know.”

  Becky grinned.

  “Except that, well, that’s kind of awful,” Liv said. “Other than that.”

  “You’re about fix that, though, right?”

  “Um, yep. I was.”

  “So never mind.”

  Liv grinned.

  “Because right now,” Becky said. “You’re supposed to making that right. But, for some reason, you aren’t, and I’m really not sure why…”

  Liv kept smiling, like she thought Becky was teasing.

  “I’m serious,” Becky said. “Why aren’t you?”

  Liv still sat there, still smiling, still apparently misunderstanding.

  Becky sighed, and pulled Liv over, and kissed her. She kissed Liv, and Liv began to kiss back, and Becky felt brave and proud and happy. Liv tasted like lip gloss and smelled like shampoo. Like Becky’s shampoo, actually, because they used the same one, because Becky had found it and told her and Liv had kept on using it. Not that she should be thinking about things like that now.

  Becky opened her mouth, and closed her eyes, and Liv opened her mouth too. They kissed for a moment, kissed terribly intensely. Then, unexpectedly, what seemed like far too soon, Liv stopped kissing and slid onto the floor. She whispered, “Licking,” as she did, and took a cushion with her to kneel on, and then pulled Becky sideways so she could sit between Becky’s legs.

  “Um,” Becky said, surprised how abruptly that had happened. “Right.”

  Liv looked up, and seemed suddenly unsure. “What wrong?”

  “God, nothing. Just, that was sudden…”

  “Oh, what, you’ve been waiting six months and now you want lots of kissing and making out…?”

  “Um,” Becky said. “No.”

  “I was trying to be considerate. To hurry for your sake.”

  “Okay. Um, go on.”

  “I don’t have to yet if you don’t want me to?”

  “Um no. You’re fine.”

  “Okay,” Liv said. “So I should start?”

  Becky nodded.

  “You’re sure?” Liv said.

  “Stop it,” Becky said, and Liv laughed.

  Both Liv’s hands were on Becky’s knees, where she’d had them to arrange Becky on the couch. Liv moved her hands, slithering them up Becky’s legs, a warm slippery tease so exciting that Becky’s breath stopped.

  “Start like that?” Liv whispered.

  “Um,” Becky said tightly. “Yep, that’s quite nice, actually.”

  Liv grinned, and slid her hands all the way up under Becky’s skirt, up to Becky’s hips, and then said, “Lift up.”

  Becky did, and Liv pulled Becky’s underwear down, slowly and very carefully. Gently, Becky noticed, making sure she didn’t tug too sharply and hurt Becky as she started. It was probably the nicest way anyone had removed her undies ever, Becky thought. Liv pulled, and kissed Becky’s legs as she did, then lifted Becky’s feet up, and kissed them too. She pulled Becky’s undies free of her ankles, and threw them away somewhere Becky could see, then shifted Becky’s feet, moving them apart, so she could kneel between them and reach Becky more easily.

  Becky let herself be shifted, a little uncertainly, suddenly feeling very bare and spread and exposed. She was sitting with her heel
s lifted off the floor already, and her knees up off the couch as well, keeping her legs tight. Liv had nice legs, so without quite meaning to, Becky had started making comparisons again. She told herself to stop. She told herself that Liv didn’t really seem to be noticing legs, right now. She wasn’t sure if it was better or worse, but Liv seemed to be looking fairly fixedly at Becky’s pussy instead. Looking right at it, seeming strangely interested. Staring, so Becky suddenly felt quite self-conscious again, right there, under Liv’s nose. She wanted to blush, or shriek, or hide her face. She wanted to kiss Liv some more, or pull Liv against herself and feel her mouth, or maybe just run away and hide. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, but being stared at wasn’t it.

  She wanted Liv stop. She cleared her throat, but Liv ignored her.

  “Hey,” Becky said, and Liv looked up, for a second. Liv smiled, and then looked back to Becky’s pussy.

  “Dude,” Becky said. “Stop staring.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You kind of are. You’re staring, and it really isn’t that interesting.”

  Liv smiled. “It kind of is.”

  “Um, no, it really isn’t. And you getting all obsessed like that is just a little bit weird.”

  “Sorry,” Liv said, looking at Becky’s face, sounding as if she meant it, but even as she spoke her gaze was flicking downwards.

  “Please?” Becky said. “Couldn’t you just…”

  “Sorry,” Liv whispered, and leaned forward, and kissed Becky instead.

  Becky sighed. Liv’s mouth felt good. Anyone’s mouth felt good, Becky supposed, especially when you knew you were about to get licked out, but Liv’s mouth felt especially nice. It was a sweet, gentle kiss, a kiss with promise, and Becky sighed, and wanted more.

  Liv kissed twice more, and then touched Becky with one fingertip, sliding it slowly down Becky, stroking, touching, seeming almost curious, then she leaned forward, and licked Becky, and Becky almost melted. Hot wet shivers shuddered through Becky’s tummy. She gasped, and shifted her knees apart, and tried to wriggle downwards, towards Liv’s mouth.

  “Better?” Liv said after a moment. Her mouth was still pressed against Becky, so Becky felt a little vibrating trembles as Liv spoke.

  “Um, yep,” Becky said weakly. “Much better thank you.”

  Liv laughed, and Becky felt trembles again, and then Liv started licking her out.

  Liv sucked, and lapped, and kissed as well. She used her fingers, and her nose, and pressed her face right into Becky. She seemed passionate, almost desperate, as if she was turned on by doing this, and wanted more. As if she wanted to fill herself with Becky, tasting and feeling and touching as well, filling her senses with Becky, as Becky lay there gasping.

  It was good, Becky thought. Liv’s mouth felt wonderful and good. Even though it was also a little unsettling to have Liv kneeling down there. It was Liv, her friend, who was licking her out, and Becky wasn’t sure what to think about that.

  Then she realized. It didn’t matter what she thought. It didn’t matter, because she wasn’t going to be able to keep thinking for very long.

  Liv started a steady licking, a rhythm with her mouth, making Becky wet and breathless and unable to concentrate on anything but that. Becky lay there, gasping, lost in everything Liv did. Liv’s mouth was hot, and her hands were gentle, and there were tickly little pieces of hair escaping from her bun and wafting across Becky’s skin. Becky reached down, and put her hand on Liv’s hair. On silky smooth hair, slippery hair, right there under her hands. She’d always adored Liv’s hair. It was long and shiny and slightly curled. It was wonderful to feel it, almost as wonderful as Liv’s mouth. Becky groped around, then pulled out Liv’s clip, and then slid her fingers into Liv’s hair, holding it there, out of the way, sliding her hands through it as Liv licked her out.

  Liv kept licking, seeming engrossed in what she was doing, touching with her fingertips, breathing softly on Becky too. She kissed Becky now and then, and tasted inside Becky with her tongue, and seemed all slow and sensual and wanting, taking her time, not in a hurry to finish what she’d started.

  Liv wasn’t in a hurry, Becky suddenly realized, but Becky was. She suddenly felt how close she was to coming. It had happened so quickly it almost took her by surprise, because she hadn’t completely expected to, not the first time with Liv, and not this quickly. She hadn’t expected to, but suddenly she was close. Somehow, Liv was licking her exactly right, light and fast, how she needed it. Becky wondered how Liv knew. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever said how she liked being licked, but didn’t think she had, because they didn’t really talk about sex much at all. Liv must have worked it out on her own, Becky thought. Liv must have, and Becky didn’t really care any more. Liv was licking, and it was good, and Becky was too close to be able to think any more.

  Becky lay there gasping, almost gone.

  Becky wanted to say, to warn Liv before she did. She wanted to say it was good, not to stop, but she was too embarrassed to do so. It seemed almost too personal, as if friends shouldn’t make friends come. As if licking each other out was one thing, that was just fun, but surely Liv couldn’t get Becky off like this, and then have coffee with her the next day. It seemed almost too intimate, Becky thought, embarrassed. Too intimate and too personal, and too complicated to think about right now. She was embarrassed, she thought, but her embarrassment didn’t actually matter. None of it mattered, not any more. She was too close to coming to care about a thing. Unless Liv suddenly stopped, Becky was about to, and Becky didn’t want Liv to stop, she didn’t want that at all.

  “Do that,” Becky whispered. “Oh please keep doing that.”

  Liv murmured something.

  “Don’t stop,” Becky whispered.

  Another murmur.

  “I’m close,” Becky said, feeling embarrassed. Embarrassed, and filled with it too, feeling it close, glad she was about to.

  She came, and forgot where, and why, and everything except thick hot ecstasy. She came, and it filled her for brief seconds, and then it was over and suddenly she was embarrassed again. She let go of Liv’s hair. She sat herself up a little. She looked down, at Liv, who kissed her gently a few more times, and then sat up.

  Liv wiped her mouth. Daintily, Becky thought, as if she was tasting as she wiped. Becky thought perhaps she was. Liv’s lip gloss had disappeared, and Becky knew exactly why. Knowing why felt odd. What they’d just done felt odd.

  Suddenly, now Becky wasn’t so desperately excited any more, she felt unsure. She didn’t know quite what to think about what had just happened. What to think, or what to do next. She didn’t know whether to say thank you, or offer to go down on Liv too, or to just sit up, and keep talking, and pretend nothing had happened. Liv didn’t quite seem to know either. She sat further backwards, onto her feet, and fixed her hair, putting her clip back in and straightening it as best she could. She didn’t look at Becky while she did, perhaps noticing Becky’s uncertainty and giving her a moment to gather her thoughts.

  Once Liv had tidied her hair she got up off the floor, and sat beside Becky on the couch. She sat, and looked at Becky, and then started leaning towards her. She got halfway there, then stopped suddenly and said, “Um, do you kiss after someone does?”

  Becky looked at her, confused.

  “Can I kiss you?” Liv said.

  “Um yeah, of course. Why…”

  “You’re all over my face,” Liv said. “I mean, not really, but you know…”

  Becky flushed.

  “I shouldn’t say it like that?” Liv said, uncertainly. “Was that too much?”

  Becky thought for a moment, and then shook her head. Actually it wasn’t too much. Actually saying it so openly seemed to calm her down.

  “So you don’t mind us kissing?” Liv said. “Afterwards, I mean.”

  “Nope.” Becky shrugged. “Whatever you like.”

  “I like you.”

  “Well good.”

  “And I lik
e to kiss.”

  “So do.”

  Liv leaned over and kissed Becky. Her mouth tasted of Becky. It tasted of excitement, and fun, and sex. She kissed, and Becky kissed back. She felt warm and glowy and happy from having just come. She wanted to hug Liv, to hold her, but they were just friends, and this was just trying something out, so didn’t think she should. Instead she kissed for a moment, and then stopped, and then said, “So what now?”

  Liv shrugged. “I don’t know. Watch a movie or something? Make coffee? Whatever.”

  “Um, don’t you want me to do you?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Becky hesitated, wondering. “I mean, I can try if you want me to…”

  “Another time,” Liv said. “If there is one.”

  “It seems unfair. Like I really should….”

  “It’s only unfair if I want you to, and right now I don’t.”

  Becky was puzzled by Liv’s refusal. It seemed odd, unless she thought Becky would be really awful at giving head. Becky hoped that wasn’t why. She thought for a moment, puzzled, and suddenly wondered if Liv had her period. It was an odd thought to have, a new thought, the idea that someone else’s might matter for sex as well as her own. It was an odd thought, but in a way, a nice one, because it seemed like a sign of the new things she was doing. She thought for a moment, wondering, but didn’t think it was that after all. Liv tended to be quite moany, so everyone around her, including Becky, had a fairly good idea when she had it, and Becky didn’t think it was now.

  “Are you on your period?” she said anyway, just to make sure.

  “Um, nope. Why?”

  “I just wondered. Because you aren’t wanting to…?”

  “I’m just not. That’s all.”

  Becky shrugged.

  “Oh stop it,” Liv said. “Like you’ve never given someone head before just because you liked them and wanted them to feel better, and then not asked for anything back…?”

  Becky shrugged. She supposed that was true. She thought some more, and decided that perhaps Liv was trying not to be demanding, not asking for too much at once, for Becky’s sake. If that was what it was, Becky thought, she quite appreciated it. She decided not to care. She felt happy. She felt grateful. Perhaps Liv was right, and they shouldn’t get carried away, trying things out, and risk overwhelming Becky.