My Stupid Girl

by Smith, Aurora

  The first person we saw was Jennika. She hurried over, giving me a bright-eyed smile.

  "Hi, David! Who's this?" She looked curiously at my friends, not quite as comfortable as Lucy.

  "This is Isaiah, and Johnny." Lucy pointed to each in turn, then introduced her friend to the guys, "This is my best friend Jennika." Lucy put her head to the side and spoke with a warm tone.

  "We already paid, go get your shoes." Jennika spoke to all of them but only looked at Johnny, giving him a long smile. Bingo. The nicknaming wouldn’t be too bad now that I had some ammo.

  After finding our shoes we made our way over to lane three. There were a lot of people there, all of them greeting Lucy with open arms. She looked like she just melted into everyone’s arms, boy or girl. She made me feel like the only person alive at any moment; I imagine she made others feel the same. I wasn’t really psyched about it. It was like I had to share her with everyone.

  I started to feel more jealous every time I saw someone open their arms toward her.

  "Ok. Lets pick teams.” Mike broke my reverie with a clap of his hands.

  "Teams?" I whispered, panicked, in Lucy’s ear.

  10. OH NO SHE DIDN’T!

  There were sixteen people, total, so Mike decided we should have four teams of four. I wasn’t really sure who put him in charge. I guess he was their paradigm of Christian light and love so the privilege was implied. We picked our teams out of a hat, another brilliant Mike idea. Kill me. I picked team three and, right after me, Lucy picked out team one. I did get Johnny; that was good. But I also got Mike, who was more upset about being on my team than I was. Our fourth player was a guy named Sean.

  Sean was cool. He was tall and wore a black shirt that had a big hand with a hole in the palm and some text above it that said "one truth." I’m guessing that was a religious thing. Sean was talkative and friendly and made an obvious effort to include Johnny and me. Lucy was on a team with Rachel and Evelyn. Their fourth player was Isaiah. The poor guy looked like he was experiencing some horrible reoccurring, walking nightmare from his youth. The other two teams were made up of Jennika and some people I’d never seen before; all of them looked nice enough. Lucy was in a lane right next to them. She high-fived every one of them.

  Mike started speaking again, but only to Johnny, Isaiah, and me: "So, all four teams play, then the two top teams out of the four will play against each other and then we will see who the winner of those two are.” We were the obvious newcomers. Apparently newcomers couldn’t fathom the concept of a tournament.

  I was decent at the sport, to my great surprise. Johnny was awful; he tried very hard to take it seriously but when he threw the ball he looked like an ape, giving a little hop right before he threw. He only ever got one or two. Mike was so frustrated at Johnny’s terrible bowling skills, it was marvelous.

  “Ok, we have to get strikes, all three of us, so that we can make up for him.” Mike spoke to us in a conspiratorial tone. He threw his thumb behind him, pointing at Johnny like he wasn’t there. Even though it was Mike, we took him seriously. Pure competition took over, negating all mild dislikes that had gone before us.

  My favorite was Isaiah. When it was his turn he would grab any ball he saw, walk up to the line and drop it, then turn around and walk back to his seat without paying any attention to the action in his lane. Twice the ball stopped and rolled back toward him. It was priceless but Rachel was livid. Each time it was his turn she would turn on him and say something like, ”Just throw the ball and try to act like a normal human being.”

  He would always answer, “Okay, this time I will.” Then he would walk over to the line and act like he was going to throw the ball correctly. When it got to the point where he was about to let go, he would drop the ball straight down again, turn around, and slink back to his seat. Sometimes he would give Rachel a thumbs up as he passed her. It would take a minute and a half for his ball to get to the pins. I couldn’t help but notice that Lucy laughed with delight and shook Isaiah’s arm every time he did this. Without fail, Isaiah would look at his arm like it had suddenly broken out in vicious, talking boils: horrified and awestruck and intrigued, all at the same time.

  I was a big fan of people keeping their hands to themselves.

  “Dude, there’s a lot of bowling and not a lot of freaking out going on.” Johnny whispered, with venom in his voice. I smiled, not wanting to admit that I was enjoying seeing Mike so stressed out. I definitely didn’t want to admit to Johnny that I was having fun, pure and simple.

  “Is that brown eyeliner?” Johnny scrutinized my eyes.

  “Holy crap, Johnny, chill out. It’s all Lucy had.” I patted my hair down, trying to hide my face. Johnny laughed at my obvious discomfort; I even heard Mike give a snort.

  “Ah, don’t worry about it man, you look really pretty. Gorgeous, even. In fact, I think I’m falling in love with you!” His voice was loaded with something more than sarcasm, probably payback for making him come here. It wasn’t like he was hating it, though. So I tried to brush it off.

  “Shut up.” I growled at him. I looked over at Lucy who was playing against a guy named Prescott and his team. She was trash talking everyone in the group. She was touching everyone, shaking arms in excitement and slapping shoulders or reaching out for high fives each time she got a got a strike. She wasn’t bothering with the two girls on her team but every single guy in a five foot radius of Lucy was leaning towards her whenever she came near. They all gave her the same dreamy look that I had whenever she was around. It was really beginning to bother me. I felt more and more like an idiot every time I heard her voice carry through the room.

  I was an idiot for thinking that she was treating me special. She was treating every other guy there the same way she’d been treating me the last few days. She had said that she liked me, but here I was in a lane three rows down from her, with her ex-boyfriend, and she was flirting with every guy in sight. For all the stuff she said, she wasn’t acting like I was any different than any other guy in the room. Each obnoxious laugh, every touch and victory cry made me angrier and angrier. When I would look over I hoped to make eye contact with her but, instead, I would see Rachel shooting me some look that I couldn’t quite figure out. Rachel’s attention would have bothered me a lot more if I wasn’t so focused on Lucy’s inattention.

  “You okay?” Sean asked when I didn’t go up for my turn right away.

  “Yeah.” I stood up and picked up my ball; it felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. I looked over and saw Lucy watching me, finally. She waved to me and winked. I just turned around and threw the ball half heartedly. It got only half of the pins and Mike smacked the scoreboard in annoyance. I looked back in Lucy’s direction and saw that she wasn’t smiling at me anymore. She looked confused. After a minute she whispered something to her teammates then walked across the lanes, in front of all the players, to me.

  “Are you ok, David?” She whispered in my ear from behind me.

  “What do you care?” I asked bitterly.

  “Excuse me?” Her voice was surprised and shocked.

  ”Nothing, forget about it. Go back to your game. All your boyfriends are waiting for you.” I still hadn’t turned around to look at her.

  “What are you talking about?” Her voice was moving from confusion to anger.

  “Don’t act stupid,” I spat out, moving my body forward and putting my elbows on my legs so she couldn’t talk into my ear anymore. For a second, she didn’t reply or move. Then I heard her feet storm off, back to her lane.

  I looked up and saw Mike smiling.

  “Better get used to that if you’re going to date Lucy Peterson.” His voice was filled with joy, which made me dislike him even more – a feat I would have thought impossible just a few minutes ago.

  “What?” I said, anger rolling over me.

  “Get used to everyone loving her, and her loving everyone. I still haven’t figured out if she realizes she is the one who makes everyone fall in love wit
h her.” I digested his words for a minute before I replied.

  “It didn’t bother you?” I asked, risking some vulnerability for some answers from Mike.

  “Oh it did, all the time. But what do you do? I wanted to be with her.” He looked down, suddenly avoiding my gaze. “She never actually meant anything by it, until she met you.”

  “I didn’t ask her to break up with you.” I was trying to explain myself.

  “Don’t stress it, I figured that. When Lucy gets an idea in her head, she goes for it.” He sounded like he was trying to like me for a second. After a pause he got up for his turn. Gutter ball. He looked defeated, and not just because of the game.

  We were second to last, beating out Isaiah’s team. Our team and Isaiah’s went to go get food before Jennika's team and the random team I didn’t know went head to head.

  “I’m going outside.” Isaiah told me and Johnny, his lip quivering with satisfaction because Rachel was throwing a hissy fit about losing. Lucy came up behind me, grabbed my hand, and walked me away from the group.

  “I really don’t know what’s wrong, David.” She was avoiding my gaze, almost like she was trying not to force me to talk. Like she was trying not to make it too uncomfortable to have “a Conversation.” It was a nice effort but she was totally failing.

  “Are you serious?” I asked her, disbelief in my voice.

  “I really don’t know.” Although she met my gaze with sad, puppy dog eyes, her voice had a faint tint of a whine to it that re-kindled my anger.

  “Then forget it, Lucy.” I wanted to go home.

  “What? Why won’t you tell me why you’re upset?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at me, almost scolding. I shrugged my shoulders; I wasn’t interested in talking about this anymore. I didn’t want to spell it all out for her in a poorly lit bowling alley alcove.

  She looked frustrated but stood her ground.

  “Do you want to go?” She spoke firmly.

  “Yes,” I said quickly, not even trying to hide the eagerness in my voice. Lucy was staring at my face, her eyebrows raised in concern.

  “Let me get my things. Will you talk to me in the car?” Her voice got a little lighter, infused with hope.

  “Sure, whatever." She smiled weakly and walked back to the lane where her friends were sitting, eating pizza.

  “Don’t worry about her,” a strong voice behind me said. I turned around and there was Rachel.

  “I’m not worried about her.” I tried to match Rachel’s firm tone. I didn’t quite get it.

  “Well that’s good. You’re in the minority here, I think.” She said, casting a look at the guys already starting to swarm Lucy. When I turned back, Rachel was just standing casually, comfortably, looking at me. She had on a form-fitting pair of blue jeans, a curve-hugging red sweater, and high brown boots. Her insanely awesome hair was still insanely awesome.

  I put my hands in my pocket and looked at the ground.

  “Do you know where the bathroom is?” I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, desperate to get away.

  “Yeah, it’s right there, under the ‘Restroom’ sign.” She grinned as she pointed, her face lighting up with humor, instead of the mockery I’d expected. I slunk off, following her pointing arm.

  What was it with her? Rachel was stressing me out with her random glances and now her weird attempt at conversation. And all this was on top of being increasingly irritated with Lucy. I just needed to get home and have a minute to myself.

  It was amazing how, a few hours ago, I would have done anything for Lucy.

  Now I just needed to get away from her.

  Did she really not know that she was flirting with everyone in sight? I couldn’t figure it out; she seemed smart, so I couldn’t really believe she was that clueless about the effect she had on every male in sight. So what was it? Did she just like the attention? For whatever reason, my attention was obviously not enough for her.

  Lucy was naturally unstoppable and extraordinary, but she was giving her heart to everyone. Even Mike said that it had been something that he didn’t like but he dealt with it to be with her. I didn’t know if I could do that. I wasn’t as confident as he was.

  I didn’t know if it would work with Lucy, long term. Even though it killed me, I had to admit it. I would always be over thinking every touch and every word Lucy spoke to anyone else. If we were together, I’d want to be the center of her attention. I really didn’t want to spend every night out fighting with myself not to feel jealous. I left the bathroom feeling miserable, drying my hands on my pants because there were no paper towels.

  I saw Rachel standing in front of the vending machine.

  “Stupid machine,” she muttered while rapidly pushing one button several times.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Oh, I put a dollar in this machine and I think it ate it.” She pressed on the button a few more times.

  “The soda is cheaper up front in the restaurant.” I was trying to hide my surprise that she even wanted a soda. It probably had six whole grams of fat. Or something.

  “Yeah, I didn’t want people to know I was buying one.” She smiled sheepishly at me.

  I walked over and pushed the button a few times and hit the side. Nothing happened. I took out my wallet and fed the machine another dollar. A cola dropped to the tray with ease. I picked it up and handed it to her, hyper-aware of the feeling of a lump in my throat.

  “Thanks, David.” She was careful to touch my fingers as she took the soda from my hand. I pulled my arm back convulsively.

  “Yeah, it’s ok.” I turned around, determined to go find Lucy. I felt miserable and needed to figure out what was going on.

  “Hey.” Rachel stopped me by putting her hand on my arm. I flinched a little under her touch but tried to hide it by patting my hair down. She spoke again: “I was just wondering if you were okay? You look upset.” Her eyebrows went up, concerned. “Can I help?”

  “I’m fine.” I wanted to shake off her hand but felt like it would be obvious and mean, for some reason.

  “You know, David, everyone loves Lucy.” Her voice was low and sweet. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it. She obviously likes you.” Her hand was still on mine. I guess she was a mind reader, too. Either that or it was totally obvious to everyone how much Lucy was flirting with everyone else.

  “Yeah.” I didn’t know what to say.

  “You know, I always have a hard time opening these, could you help me?” She pulled my arm so I was facing her, then handed me the can. As I flicked open the soda tab from Hades, Rachel stood very close to me. She smelled amazing. Her hair was shooting off rays of a wondrous scent.

  Her face was very close to mine, just a little shorter than me without heels. I tried to hand her the coke but she wouldn’t take it. She stepped closer to me still, well into my personal space. She was invading. I almost spilled the soda on her from surprise.

  I could feel her body near mine and it freaked me out.

  “What are you doing?” I managed to squeak out, short of breath, torn by teenage hormones and a lasting, confused loyalty to Lucy. Rachel didn’t answer me.

  She leaned forward as she went up on her tiptoes. Her breath brushed across my cheek just before her lips met mine. The shock of her soft, glossed lips touching mine immediately triggered several opposing urges. The thought of pushing her away was the strongest, but my arms wouldn’t let me. Then there was the irresistible urge to kiss her back. Her beautiful, perfect eyes were closed and just millimeters from mine. All I had to do was just lean in, obey my arms and grab her slender waist, and pull her into a real, we-are-totally-making-out kiss. I could feel those long lashes touching my face. Everything about this girl felt as beautiful as it looked.

  Then my brain, without any prompting from me, imagined the girl kissing me was Lucy.

  Spell broken.

  I moved my face to the side so Rachel would release my lips. In the few short moments it took for the wo
rld to refocus, I heard Lucy give a loud laugh somewhere in the distance, and a guy’s answering laugh. I felt numb.

  I closed my eyes and reached out for Rachel without really thinking. I put my hand on her waist and pulled her towards me. I pressed my lips on hers angrily. I felt Rachel, the beautiful girl, melting into me, relaxing. Her hands were behind my back, pushing me even closer to her. I felt her lips smile without breaking contact.

  I put more pressure on Rachel’s lips just as she started to back away.

  “What are you doing?!” I heard a female voice say loudly. I pulled my head away from Rachel, bewildered to see a scandalized look in her eyes. She slowly pulled back her hand and then slapped me with all of her strength.

  She stormed away, amidst clouds of outrage. I stood there, holding the spot on my face that Rachel hit. Shock was washing over me. I saw nothing but red; I was so angry I felt my hands start to shake. I looked down at the soda spilled on the ground, then up again at the bowling lanes where Rachel was talking to Lucy. Rachel had her hands up on her own chest, tears pouring from her eyes. She reached down and hugged Lucy.

  I turned around and headed out the emergency exit without waiting to see Lucy’s response. The cold of the night air hit me like a wall. I instantly smelled cigarette smoke and walked towards it. I turned the corner and saw Isaiah sitting on a box like a big lump of black in the middle of white snow. I snapped my fingers as I walked toward him and held out my hand, still trying to control my temper and losing the battle.

  Isaiah reached into his pocket and pulled out a fresh box of cigarettes. He threw it to me; I pulled one out and lit it with the matches squeezed into the back of the pack. I inhaled deeply, feeling an instant rush of calm, then a dull buzz. I hadn’t smoked since I had moved to my grandma’s. I hadn’t wanted her to find out and be disappointed in me, but right then I could have cared less about anyone or anything.

  “Whoa, what happened to you?” Isaiah asked slowly, taking a drag from his own cigarette.

  “You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you,” I answered miserably.