by Elaine May
“All right, good boy, you’ve had enough for the moment.” I tap his head through the fence as he settles down to take another nap and I take his bowl from my backpack and fill it with my water bottle. I slide it across the fence and then I pick up the bucket and turn to the swings. I start painting all the seats and then start the frame with a bright green paint. I carry on with my work, every now and then looking down at Sammy, making sure he’s ok when I hear the roar of a car. I look up as a fancy car pulls up to the edge of the park and long muscled legs covered in dark jeans step out. Everyone else has stopped working now to see who is making all the noise and I can tell everyone else is thinking the same as me, this man has money and what’s he doing here? He’s almost throwing it in everyone’s face. I may have money, I may live a privileged life, but at least I don’t throw it in people’s faces, I like to help people as much as I can. As the figure steps further, I start to recognize him.
Oh shit. What’s he doing here?
Why is he here of all places?
I can feel my anger flush through my veins, filling my whole body with something I have never felt before.
What is this man doing to me?
I drop my bucket and storm towards him. How dare he be here?
This is my time. How on Earth did he even know I was here?
This is my sanctuary, this is my happy place and he is threatening to ruin it all just by his mere presence. I’m unaware of anyone else as I just storm towards him, the eyes of everyone are back to their work, I can be alone when I confront him.
“What are you doing here?” I say as I try to push at his chest.
“Well hello there, little princess what a surprise.”
“Surprise? Surprise? Don’t you dare act like this is a surprise. What are you doing here?” One corner of his upper lips turns into half a grin, making me feel sick. I push at him again as he just looks down at me with that bloody smirk and he holds up his arms.
“It was a surprise. I didn’t know you would be here.” He has a look on his face that tells me it’s all lies. I fold my arms across my stomach.
“What are you doing here Charlton?And please don’t lie to me.”
“We’re going to get married, I don’t think I could ever lie to you.” He takes a hold of my hand and places it over his heart, I try to remove it, but he has such a strong hold of me that I have no room to move. I see a flash out of the corner of my eye and after I blink a few times I take a look around and see a man with a camera pointing it right at us. Bile worms its way through my system and I just want to be sick, or just cry, I don’t know what would help me more at the moment. I’m not sure what would be the best course of action.
“What have you done?”
He raises his hands a little but just enough that the camera won’t be able to really tell what he is doing.
“I haven’t done anything”
“You lying bastard.” I shove and I try to hit his face with my hand but he grabs it before I can really raise my hand.
“Be careful, remember the camera, my beautiful future wife.” He leans his face forward and gives me a kiss, his hands go around to the back of my head, pulling me further into his body, I can feel the firmness of his chest as his heart beats against my own. I try to pull away, not liking what he’s doing, how dare he just take me like this. His tongue tries to enter my mouth, but I keep it as closed tight as I can. His lips feel soft and warm as he kisses me far too long for my own liking. I can’t deny that I like it, my body starts to tremble as he keeps me close, but I hate it. I hate the effect he seems to have on me. Why? I can’t understand it.
“I am not going to be your wife.”
“Yes you are, little princess.”
“I don’t think so.”He leans into my ear and then starts to whisper as another flash goes off again.
“Stop pretending. You know it’s going to happen.” I lean away from him and something just sweeps over me, something that has to knock him right off his feet. He’s so sure. So sure I’ll just go with the flow and do everything that everyone else wants from me.
“What makes you think that I won’t just turn into your worst nightmare the moment I’m dragged down the aisle and forced to say I do?”
“You won’t be forced.” He says as he taps my nose. His eyes swimming and swirly with unsaid words of lust.
“There is no way I will ever be willing, Charlton.” He places his hands on his chest.
“You wound me.”
“Yeah, well, get used to it.”
“I don’t need to get used to anything, princess, but you need to get used to the idea of being my wife.” I roll my eyes and without even thinking of what I’m doing or the fact that there’s a camera watching us I try to knee him between his legs, but he backs away before my knee can make contact.
“Watch yourself, Noelle.” He looks almost shocked that I would even dare to do such a thing to him, but he still gives away a smirk. I turn and start to walk away, I can’t do this with him right now. I have painting to do, I haven’t come here to talk to him but before I can get too far he grabs hold of my hand and swings me around, just as another flash goes off and then another.
“I can’t be I’m doing this with you right now. Please can you just go and leave me alone.”I say as the tears I have tried to fight start falling down my cheeks.I manage to remove myself from his grasp and I don’t even look back when I get to my swing to see what he is doing.
I don’t care what he does as long as he is far away from me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
As our time in school goes by and we go into new year groups I find he is turning into my knight in shining armour. I want to be closer to him, he is starting to know me better than even Mummy and Daddy. He manages to make me smile everyday, even when the other children in his class say mean things about me. They think I can’t hear their whispering, but I can and so does Charlton and he gets so angry at them. It makes me happy that he’s there to helpme, that he wants to, and Charlton makes sure I know every day. He is really my knight, protecting me from some of the horrible people in school.
I’m happy to say he left me alone after that. I storm away just like I did when I confronted him. Sammy looks up as I step towards him and I can’t even smile at him, I am so mad at Charlton. I am mad at everything. I paint the play equipment like it is all its fault, I take my time but with each stroke of my brush I try to unleash some of my anger. To begin with I end up painting myself more than the equipment. I think everyone knows there is something wrong with me as they keep themselves as far away from me as they can. By the time I am done I leave with only a nod in Sally’s direction, Sammy’s lead in my hand. I try to sleep that night, but all my dreams consist of are more dreams of him.
Charlton, Charlton and more bloody Charlton. He is trying to plague me everywhere he can and when it is finally time for me to get up I try to shake him off me, but I just can’t do it. He is latching himself on me like a parasite and there is nothing I can do to remove him.
****
The next day once I settle into my office something overcomes me.
I remember the flashing of a camera and I just need to know if he was there to capture the start of our so-called romance. I check online and we are everywhere, people are starting to speculate what we were both doing at the park together and if I could have my own way I would shout from the rooftops that nothing ever will happen.
That I hate Charlton Williams.
COULD NEW LOVE BLOSSOM BETWEEN TWO GREAT FAMILIES.
ONE OLD AND THE OTHER NEW
IT’S GOT TO BE LOVE.
WE HEAR WEDDING BELLS
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE
The whole thing is stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Do people actual believe all this rubbish just because someone with a camera was able to take our photos? How can they even say we are together? As I look more closely at the photos I can tell the exact time each one was taken. The look on my face
says that I was less than happy with the man who stood before me, where did they get love from? One photo was taken before my attempted attack on his balls, the other when he held me close and I tried to push him away. There is nothing in the photos that says I even like him. If it is bad enough that my own father has it in for me, it seems the whole country has it in for me too. They all want to see me with him.
I try to get on with my work, I have so much to do, but the more I try, the more he keeps pushing himself further into my brain. For the last couple of weeks, I have been working with a new designer getting her a space within our women’swear, it is something that would normally get my pulse racing but even that can’t do anything. I have emails that need responding to, but I just can’t concentrate. On a normal working day, I push myself to get loads done but Charlton is keeping my body hostage. I am half expecting my father to phone me and ask what the hell I have been doing all day, but nothing happens. At least if he does I can blame him and Charlton. I know it won’t help but it might at least make me feel better.
I can’t get a decent night’s sleep as Charlton tries to dominate all my dreams. Flashes of the past keep racing through my mind as if I am nothing but a kaleidoscope of memories. Even so, I manage to wake up feeling a little more like myself before all the madness kicks off again and I try to get myself sorted for work.
It is a failed attempt. I am just getting my handbag to walk out the door when I hear my mobile go off. I should just leave the damn thing, but I find my hand reaching in to get it. I type my pin in and then I see a text from a number I don’t know.
I CAN’T WAIT TO GET THIS BALL ROLLING AND HAVE YOU IN MY BED
That bastard. I know who it is from him just by the tone of the message and the words he uses. There is only one man who would dare to send a message like that.
How dare he?
Who the hell does he think he is?
Me
HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?
Charlton
THAT DOESN’T MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS WHEN I’M GOING TO FEEL YOU COME ALL OVER MY DICK.
Me
I WON’T BE GOING ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR DICK.
Charlton
WE’RE GETTING MARRIED PRINCESS SO I THINK YOU WILL BE.
Me
I DON’T THINK SO CHARLTON. THINK AGAIN SMART ARSE.
Charlton
SMART ARSE! I’VE NEVER BEEN CALLED THAT BEFORE I LIKE IT. I LIKE YOUR ARSE. WHEN CAN WE HAVE FUN WITH THAT?
My arse? I don’t think so, that man is not going anywhere near my bum. He won’t be going anywhere near me full stop. You know what? I don’t give a monkeys what he thinks or what he wants. This man is becoming so annoying and I have a feeling that it’s only the start.
Me
YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY HATE YOU AND I WON’T BE MARRYING YOU NO MATTER WHAT OUR PARENTS THINK OR SAY. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.
Please God, just leave me alone.
I am not marrying that man. He was a cocky bastard when we were younger, and it appears he has only gotten worse with age. I run my fingers through my hair, pulling at the ends of the strands until my head starts hurting, hoping it may help but it doesn’t, just gives me a new headache. I turn off my phonethough so I don’t have to be confronted with any more of his lovely messages.
Lovely messages, I could think of a better word for them. Suddenly I can do nothing but laugh at the horrible situation I find myself in.
How can something like this be happening in this day and age and why is he so confident about it?
I was just going through life the best way I could and then wham an asteroid slam crashes into my world.
He seems to be enjoying this far more than I care to think about.
There is no way that man is seeing me naked.
Every time a text came through I could just imagine the way he was looking as he typed out each word. The way he would have laughed at my responses.
He could have anyone he wants, he is still the best looking guy around but because of what our parents think he is trying to ruin my life. That is how it is feeling anyway. I have no thoughts of wanting to start something with him. I look around my home and I just know there is no way I can go through with this craziness.
What does he think?That if he keeps talking to me the way he is I’ll just succumb like a lovesick fool?
Everyone else might do but I sure as hell won’t.
I feel trapped.
I’m locked in a dark room, I can’t find the lights, I can’t find the door. I’m stuck in this world of darkness and stupidity and I can’t breathe and only Charlton holds the key to my freedom.
Oh God what is he doing to me?
What is Daddy doing to me?
This is all his doing. My mind starts racing with all the things everyone else is making me think about. Racing with all the memories that want to keep going around on a loop.
I hate Charlton. I really, really hate him.
I have had enough. I try to phone Daddy, enough is enough, this madness has to end but Daddy never answers. I look through his diary and I can see he doesn’t have any appointments so why isn’t he answering? I try again and then again before I leave a message.
“I’m sorry, Daddy, but there is no way I can marry Charlton. If you knew what he has done to me you wouldn’t ask me. I’m begging you, Daddy, not to make me do this.”
CHAPTER NINE
Charlton starts to be able to meet his friends at the park on his own, but he has to take me and Louisa with him. He grumbles and moans to his mum, but he takes us anyway and while he talks to his friends he pushesus both on the swings and I can’t hide the smile when he pushes my back. His hand feels warm and soft and I like it. Every time I get to be with him I find I want to be even closer to him, that he knows me better than anyone else. He manages to make me smile every day. He really is my knight, my very own prince charming. I can’t stop seeing his pretty hazel eyes, I know he may be a boy, but I know I want to be his friend forever. Louisa is my best girlfriend and Charlton is my best boyfriend. I want to make sure he likes me forever because I know I will like him forever.
I know straight away when he arrives at the hospital, I just can’t believe that my own father would give me away again.
If my mobile number wasn’t bad enough, now he has given away for the second time where I was going to be working today. Charlton really is playing a dangerous game. Can he not take a hint?
I don’t want this.
No one else knew where I was going to be today, or when I had been at the park so it has to be Daddy who told him where I was going to be.
My own father, I know he wants this, but really? Is he really that willing to give up his own daughter to a know-it-all prick. I am betrayed by the only man I trust, and I feel a new hatred for Charlton spread throughout my body. He is annoying me so much, making me feel the way I did before, when lust and need were new and if that isn’t bad enough he is forcing Daddy to do things he would never have thought of doing before as well. Charlton Williams is tilting my world on its axis and making everyone else think it is ok. No, the things Daddy is doing and saying aren’t really him. It is all Charlton and I want never to have to see him again.
I can feel Charlton though, he is close.
Why can’t he just leave me alone?
I can sense him everywhere around me.
My whole body tingles with its own awareness of him and as soon as he makes himself known I amgoing to be on high alert. I see him through the window, looking at me with those hungry eyes of his and I am so grateful that Sammy is being a good boy with the children. With his good nature he is perfect to bring into the children’s hospital to help the children as they try to get better from different illnesses. It is a weekly thing and we both love every moment of it but right now I wish I was anywhere but here. My whole body is strung tight, revved up with my own disbelief at the fact that he is really here, that I am being betrayed by my own blood.
How could Daddy do this t
o me?
The same way he has sealed my fate it would seem and a new anger for my father wants to take hold. When mine and Sammy’s time is up I put his lead around his neck and as we say goodbye I lead him out the doors to where the most handsome being stands waiting for us. I hate that he is still so handsome, time has been kind to him and he is even more alluring than he was before. Bastard.
“What do you want?” I say as soon as the doors have closed behind me. Sensing myunease, I can feel Sammy on high alert as he sits by my side and I stroke his head as a reward. As if only now realising I have Sammy with me Charlton steps back a little, not knowing what to expect as he growls at him and looks ready to jump. I have to fight the need to laugh as the vision of him falling on the ground with Sammy on top of him as he did that Sunday comes crashing through my mind.
“Come out with me?” He sounds so desperate the poor sucker and a small part of my heart melts at his pathos. I should make him suffer just like he’s making me but somewhere in the depths of my heart something tells me not to.
To just go with the flow.
****
We take Sammy back to the apartment and he looks so sad to be left on his own. When his eyes focus in on Charlton it’s as if he knows it is his fault and he gives a little growl. Charlton’s look turns to unease and it stays until we are outside and walking to wherever he’s taking me.I just want to get this started so it can finish just as quickly and I can get back home to the one male I can trust.
“That dog of yours, is he dangerous?”
“His name is Sammy, thank you very much, and no he’s not. He’s just very protective of me” I stop for a moment.
“Where are you taking me?”
“I go here all the time. You’ll love it.”
“You are not taking me to the same place you’ve taken all your other...” I stop for a moment, thinking of the right word.