Cruel Games

by Elaine May

  “A small dick?” He asks in my ear and I can feel the heat of his breath against my neck just under his hand. His hand tightens a little more, my head is fuzzy as unconsciousness tries to claim me. There is no way I can moan as he scrapes his other hand down my back again, the fire burns and I’m full of endorphins. The pain he inflicts sends mixed messages to my brain and they all come out as pleasure as he starts to rotate his hips in a circular motion and he reaches that special place inside me. I can feel it all building into one massive attack and then as if I’m merely a musical instrument he flicks the right chord and my body goes into overdrive and his hand releases from my throat and I fall into the abyss. My body shakes and quivers as he pulls out of me and then I hear him moan as hot liquid splatters across my back.

  “Does that feel like a small dick?” He moans above me as he rubs his seed with his cock that is still hard against my back and it feels so dirty. So degrading, but I love every moment of it. His breathing becomes more settled and he falls down beside me on his back.

  “How was that?” He asks as he turns his head to look at me and he looks content and almost happy as his eyes graze over my body with a fine tooth comb. As if he has just proved me wrong and I guess in a way he has, that was amazing.

  “I loved it.” I look away as something pops into my head and I can’t say it although I wouldn’t mind if he wanted to do it again. He raises an eyebrow at me as if he knows I’m keeping a secret,demanding me to tell him. I take in a huge breath of cold air as I look at him. He’s waiting for my answer.

  “I loved it when you marked me with your...” I can’t say it the word is stuck at the back of my throat and it won’t come out. I feel like a child sat in her first sex education class, butterflies want to take flight in my stomach as he just looks at me with a grin I have always loved. He rolls over and then he’s over the top of me with both his legs nestled on either side of me.

  “Cum. You liked it when I marked you with my cum, Noelle?”

  “Yes.....s. Yes I did.”

  “Good, because not only will you be mine in the eyes of the law I’ve just marked you as such too.” He gets up and walks to the bathroom, not even looking back at me. I get the feeling that him marking me with his cum means more than placing a ring on my finger. That now that he has done that there is no going back.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

  He’s coming back for the summer.

  He’s coming back and I’m so excited, I might get to see him again.

  I hope so, I really miss him.

  A few days later I go in for my next attack, it’s been a busy day and all I want is to shower the bad day off my body and curl up and read my book. I give Sammy his dinner and go into the bathroom having the shower hot so the steam cloaks my body with the aroma of my shower gel, instantly making me feel calmer. I wash all over and when the water starts to get colder I step out and wrap myself in our soft towels. I haven’t been able to figure out how he gets them like this. I towel dry my hair as best I can and then make my way out of the bathroom to my bedroom to get my kindle and then down the stairs where I’m glad to see that Charlton is already on the sofa watching some stupid show on the TV. I go over to the other sofa and lie down on my side, making sure the towel rides up my leg a little. I dive into my new romance book, making sure every now and then to graze light touches up and down my leg. I look at him through my lashes and see that every now and then he keeps watching what my fingers are doing. I’ve got him where I want him. When my finger travels up my leg again this time I make sure that I go higher until I get to my soft wet folds that are already excited. I play with them for a moment, running my fingers up and down them and then pushing my fingers between them where my clit is waiting. I look over at Charlton and he’s watching me. I start flicking my clit back and forth, giving a little moan and looking up at Charlton again, making sure to bite my bottom lip in his direction. He shifts in his chair and his eyes are coated with need for me.

  “Do you know how hot you look at the moment?”

  Oh god, he has no idea.

  “Yeah I dooo.” I moan as I sink my fingers inside myself and twist and turn around my inner muscles,coiling my body into a heated mess. All I want is it to be his fingers where I can really enjoy myself and I can tell from the way his hand is creeping itself down his waist to the rim of his trousers he thinks the same. We both moan at the same time as I slip my finger out and then bring my finger to my lips where I lick it with my tongue, moaning as I do it. I suck the tip into my mouth and work my lips around and then up and down my finger, pretending it’s something else. I lick and twirl my finger around and then wrap my tongue around it again, going up and down once more as Charlton takes a grip of his cock. I release my finger with a pop and then I travel down to my bum where I start to play with my tight hole. He looks more interested as he sits forward in his chair and then I decide to go in for the kill. I pull away my finger and sit up, stretching my hands as I give away a yawn.

  “Oh wow I’m so tired.” I stop for a moment to take a look at his now pathetic face.

  “I think I’m going to go take a little nap.”

  “What the fuck?” He says as so many questions swim in his eyes and I almost feel guilty but not nearly enough to stop myself.

  “I really need to go. I’m so tired.”

  “But you can’t you just do all that stuff.” He whines like a child who can’t get his own way.

  “I know.” And I bend my head to the left, a little too much as my cheek almost touches my shoulder.

  “You can’t just leave me like this again?” He questions, and he sounds so childlike again, it’s almost pathetic.

  “Yes I can.”

  “Well you know what? Enjoy your short nap because someone’s coming over to interview us in half an hour.” I stop dead in my tracks.

  “What?”

  “You heard me, princess.” I storm to our room shouting at him.

  "End this already so we can be rid of each other!” He gets his own words in before I slam the door in his face.

  “No can do princess. I’m in this till the end and one day soon you’ll realise it.”

  ****

  Twenty minutes later I’m dressed in one of my best dresses. When I step out of our room I see Charlton in his suit and I have to keep reminding myself of why I need to end this.

  He looks good enough to eat.He hurt me and the wounds are still healing.

  He’s always so cocky.

  He thinks he knows it all. If anything I just have to try and push him back down a level. We both go into the living room and wait, I can’t keep my eyes off of him, he looks so handsome and I have to ask myself why I keep trying to fight this. My core feels tight with need as he sits on the arm of the chair just every now and then looking down at his watch and giving away a nervous cough. He finally looks up at me, his nerves swimming in his eyes.

  “Please be nice today.” He whispers as there is a buzz for the front door. He goes to answer it and I can imagine the way his lips move as he speaks. A tingling sensation starts to travel up my spine, I want him again even though I want to hate him.

  I do hate him. This need my body has of wanting him all the time is just a tiny hiccup in my journey. I can hear him whistling as we wait for them to reach our front door. A few moments later he comes back, followed by a woman in a pretty but non-designer dress suit and two men, one with another camera and the other a load of lighting equipment. They ask Charlton where they can set up and quickly move things around to make room as Charlton gestures for the woman to take a seat. She reaches in to her handbag and takes out her phone and rests it on our table and I can see the watch count away the minutes before she asks her first question. Charlton comes to sit next to me and we all try to get ourselves comfortable.

  I take in a deep breath, this is it. It’s real acting time now.

  “Congratulations on your engagement.” She says and we both say our thanks and I try to settle into my seat with
Charlton being so close. I can smell his aftershave mixing with his natural scent and he smells amazing. It’s seeping into my blood flow, threatening to overpower me, I can feel it as it boils inside me.

  “How are the preparations coming along?” I laugh as I take hold of Charlton’s hand and squeeze it tight.

  “Very well, I can’t believe it’s getting so close.”

  “My beautiful Noelle has done it all I hate to say, I’ve only had to say yes or no when asked.” Charlton responds, only to squeeze my hand tighter.

  “Have Charlton’s mum and sister been helping you?” She asks as she turns to me.

  “Charlton’s sister is my best friend and I’ve known Charlton’s family since I can remember. It felt right asking them to help me and I’m so grateful that they have. I would have been lost without them.” I try to put in a small giggle but deep down I’m trying to fight the tears that want to flow down my cheeks. It should have been my Mum, if this was a real wedding I would have wanted my Mum. Oh how cruel the world is, she was taken far too young, it’s not fair. I blink a couple of times to control my emotions and I feel Charlton’s other hand rub my leg in a reassuring nature. I open my eyes and see that she has seen, I’m sure that Charlton Williams is supportive of his future bride will go in the article somewhere.

  Perfect.

  “Charlton how are you feeling as the day gets closer?” And she only has eyes for him, back away lady he’s mine.

  Did I really just think that?

  But I look up into Charlton’s eyes, pretending to be all loved up but as I look I know I’m lying by convincing myself it’s all pretend.

  “I’m nervous. I hope she turns up.” He laughs a little at his joke before saying more.

  “But all jokes aside I feel like the luckiest man alive at the moment.” He raises the hand that holds mine with a fierce grip to his lips before giving mine a gentle kiss.

  “What about you, Noelle?”

  “I feel so lucky, I’ve always loved him and now we get to be together forever.”

  “How long have you known each other, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “Our parents had already met long before we did and then one day mine invited Noelle’s over for a barbecue and that’s when we first saw each other. I think I would have been six and a half and Noelle four. I can just remember this little girl dressed up like a princess with pony tails in her hair.” Charlton says as the woman places her hand over her heart.

  “So did you grow up being friends?” Charlton and I both look at each other and I try to blush before answering her.

  “We made friends straight away.” I stop and look into his eyes, the words I really want to say are at the tip of my tongue, but I know they’re not what the world is wanting to hear so I try to swallow them away.

  “And we have been ever since. Until love took over.” Charlton wraps his arm around me and plants a kiss on my forehead as I rest myself against him, falling into the lies we are trying to tell the rest of the world. Sitting here with him feels so natural, so right, and I can feel myself falling for every word that comes out of his mouth. We go through hours of sitting and answering questions and after that it’s another hour of standing around in each other’s arms, different types of poses being dictated to us as the camera goes off like lightning. They show us the images when they are done and although they are not finished yet we look like the perfect couple.

  We look in love and happy. Looking at them and remembering all our answers even I could be bewitched by the fairytale. By the time they have left, and I feel like we have our flat back I’m exhausted and I feel more confused than ever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

  Louisa said she’s coming home this week and as their parents are going away for the weekend Charlton is going to have a party.

  He’s going to have a party and Louisa said she wants me to come.

  I’m going to see him again.

  I can’t help but wonder if he’s still as beautiful as ever and butterflies start a mad dash inside my stomach at the thought of seeing him again.

  I’ve been growing, I finally have breasts.

  I’m finally growing a female body.

  My braces were removed a month ago and I’ve just started wearing contact lenses.

  I feel like a new girl, maybe Charlton will see me again.

  After the interview my time becomes fully dominated by the wedding. Louisa and her Mum take me away every day, keeping appointments for the so-called biggest and best day of my life. There seems to be appointments for everything, food, flowers, photos and don’t even get me started on the dress. Everyone wants to know what I will wear, how I will wear my hair, my makeup. They want everything from me and I feel so vulnerable, I feel naked and bare and the whole country can see me on the front of every newspaper, ready to be ridiculed I miss my old life. As much as it wasn’t I miss the simplicity it once brought me. That was far better that what my life is like at the moment.

  I miss Daddy.

  I miss my office.

  I miss all my charities.

  I just want to be me again, forget about everyone else and just be me but the whole world seems to have me trapped and I can’t find an escape.

  I am locked in tight. I should be happy, I’m getting married after all, but I’m anything but, I should be so excited that I can’t control myself but I’m not. With each appointment that goes by it’s another second off the clock on my freedom and with each tick of that damn clock I feel the ball of tension twirling in the bottom of my stomach.Charlton seems to feel it too, his arrogance and confidence seem to have melted away to reveal something far more unsure.

  Have my games been working that well that I am finally starting to get to him?

  If so, then why the hell is this wedding still taking place? I’m sat in the kitchen having a glass of orange juice as I wait for his mother and sister for another field trip when I hear the bedroom door open and close and his footsteps above me.

  “Can you remember to water the plants if you’re working from home the next few days please?” He says as he walks down the steps to where I am to slide his suit jacket over his shoulders.

  “Yes Sir. Is there anything else I can do for you Sir?” He stops and just turns to look at me and if looks could kill I would be dead without a doubt.

  “Oh great, more attitude.”

  “Attitude?”

  “Yeah, attitude, you seem perfect at it.Like always.” I roll my eyes at him.

  This is all his fault, he was supposed to have cancelled this whole thing by now but here we stand, things are still going ahead.

  “Where are you going then? Meeting another woman?” I know I’m attacking the hornet’s nest, but I’ve got to the point where I just don’t care anymore. I just want to get a reaction out of him.

  “I don’t think it’s any of your business.” He says with a sneer and I walk over to the wine fridge, needing something to get over this. I pour a glass, both hands filled with wine as I look him over in his suit. Why does he always have to look so sexy?

  “We’re getting married, I think it is.”

  “Well you’re definitely using that card well enough, aren’t you.” He shouts as he stares at the bottle of wine still clutched in my hand. I watch as Sammy goes over to one of Charlton’s plants and raises the back leg that is closer and then wees on it.

  “What the fuck is he doing now?” He points a long finger at Sammy.

  “Oh, don’t worry, he’s been doing it for a while.”

  “What?” He actually turns red as he looks around at all his plants and I take another sip of the wine.

  “There dying. Your fucking dog killed my plants. I’ve been smelling piss all over the place and thought it was just my imagination. It’s you’re fucking dog. I want him gone.”

  I can feel the wine bottle shaking in my hand as his words go deep and he stands there in just the right way to make me want to scream. I hate him and without even second guessing my
self I launch the bloody thing at his head. I miss, I miss by a lot, but it crashes by the wall he is leaning against, covering everything in a heavy rain of wine. Shards of ice glisten as they fall to the floor and we both stare at the mess that starts to take over around us.

  “Fine, we’ll be leaving.” Thank God for that, this moment has taken far too long. I put the glass down and call Sammy as I attempt to move around the glass.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m leaving, smart arse.”

  “No you’re not, you can’t.” He says as he tries to reach out for my hand.

  “Well I am.” I move around him and go and get my bag which is still hiding behind his desk.

  “You’re such a bitch, do you know that?” Of course I know that, idiot. I’ve had it thrown in my face on too many occasions. Gone is the child and now he just sounds like a man scorned. It’s hard to keep up with all these sides of him.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You know what? Just fucking go. I’ve had enough of this. Enough of your games.” I must look surprised because there is no way I was expecting that to come out of his mouth so early. Maybe this time I have pushed him too far too soon.