Break Me: Smith and Belle (Royals Saga Book 12)

by Geneva Lee

  10

  Belle

  The paramedics were still there when we arrived. Smith pulled the Range Rover into the drive, and we shared a worried look.

  “I think I’d better…“

  “Yes,” I said, sensing what he was thinking. Smith jumped out of the SUV and headed quickly toward the house. With my heels on, I was forced to take my time, carefully following him so that I wouldn’t fall in the snow. Thanks to Rowan and his foresight putting down salt not much had collected. Still, I walked slowly in part to navigate the slush but also because I dreaded going inside. Every time I left Thornham, I didn’t want to return. Tonight was worse than usual. I ascended the stairs, clutching the stone railing. As I got closer, I heard Penny sobbing. Panic ignited me and I dashed up the last few steps, kicked off my Louboutins in the entry, and ran up the stairs to the nursery.

  I found Georgia, looking more harried than I’d ever seen her, pacing the room while trying to comfort my daughter. Before I could think better of it, I held out my arms. “Give her to me.”

  Georgia didn’t hesitate to pass Penny off, which either meant she trusted me more than everyone else or that she desperately wanted a break from the baby.

  The moment I brought Penny to my shoulder, her crying faded to a punctuated tremble as she began to calm down. “It’s okay. Mummy’s here.”

  Relief rolled through me as I savored the feeling of my daughter in my arms. When Smith’s mobile had rung on the way here, I’d known instantly something was wrong. On the drive, my mind had played a continuous reel of hypothetical accidents that could have hurt her. Nothing felt better than having her safely with me again.

  Georgia crossed toward the door, and the solace I felt gave way to a sharp stab of panic.

  “Don’t leave me with her!”

  She turned, her dark eyes flashing before she composed herself and shook her head. “She’s safe with you.”

  “You don’t know that,” I said quickly. Smith wasn’t here to chaperone me, and he must not have told Georgia about the arrangement.

  “I do know that. No matter what you think, it’s obvious that you would never hurt her.” Her hand lingered on the doorknob as she spoke. She made no move to open it.

  “You weren’t there,” I reminded her. “You didn’t see how close I came to doing just that.”

  “Look, I get beating yourself up. Believe me. But you’re as sane as I am. I’ve been watching you,” she admitted to me, surprising me a bit. Georgia hadn’t seemed to show much interest in me since her arrival. She was usually busy having hushed conversations with Smith or taking mysterious trips into the village. “You’re going to have to believe it. Now, I really want to check on Nora. She scared me.”

  I hesitated, but finally nodded. I needed to face facts. Nora wouldn’t be up for taking care of Penny tonight if her allergic reaction had been so bad that paramedics were called, and Georgia clearly wasn’t up for the challenge. That left me either waiting for Smith or calling Edward. I looked down at Penny’s content face, her big blue eyes staring up at me with wonder and realized Georgia was right. I would never do anything to hurt my child. Whatever happened that day on the ice, it had to have an explanation. Looking at Penny, I knew that I would die for her if necessary.

  As soon as Georgia left, Penny began turning her head side to side, and my heart sank. She wanted to nurse. I took a deep breath and whispered to her, “We can try. But let’s not get our hopes up.”

  Carrying her to the glider, I settled down with her. Someone had lit a fire in the hearth, and its flickering flames made the spot feel even cozier. To my surprise, she latched easily. I waited for the crying to start, watching for signs of frustration, but she only curled a tiny hand around the swell of my breast and sucked happily. Smith strode into the room and stopped short when he saw us like this. I braced for a lecture about being alone with the baby. Instead, his rigid shoulders relaxed.

  “How is Nora?” I asked.

  “She’s going to be fine. The paramedics said she needs to get an EpiPen to keep up with her. Apparently she’s never had a reaction this bad before.” He took a hesitant step forward, his eyes raking over the two of us. “How are you?”

  Part of me didn’t want to jinx it, so I simply shrugged. “I don’t know if she’s getting anything or not.”

  “She doesn’t seem angry. That seems like a good sign.”

  I thought so, too. Maybe she’d had a recent bottle and didn’t need my milk as much. Regardless, it felt right to have her in my arms.

  “What is Nora allergic to?” I asked absently.

  “Nuts,” he said in a measured tone. “Did you know she had an allergy?”

  I searched my brain for any memory of her telling me. Finally, I shook my head. “No. She probably should’ve told us.”

  “Mrs. Winters is on a tear,” he warned me. “I think she feels responsible. She gave her a Christmas cake with walnuts in it. Nora didn’t realize.”

  “You think she’d be more careful,” I said wondering how Nora could let something like that go without mentioning.

  “That’s just it.” Smith paced over to the fireplace to stoke the logs. A blast of sparks shot up from the wood and the fire roared more strongly. “She said she mentioned it to you. Apparently, it was also on her application.”

  I stared at his profile, wishing I could see his face fully. The fire cast shadows on it now that made me shiver. “I don’t remember seeing that at all.”

  “You have a lot going on. Now we know, and nothing terrible happened.”

  He was handling me again. Nora had told me, and I’d forgotten to warn Mrs. Winters. Both would trust me a little less now, and I’d have very little of their trust to begin with.

  “Are you sure about that?” I asked softly, guilt taking hold of me again. “Because if medical help was sent for—”

  “Don’t blame yourself for this. I’m just as responsible for not knowing as you,” he pointed out. “Like you said, now we know.”

  I bobbed my head, trying to believe him. He made a good argument. Then again, he was a lawyer. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling of once more failing in my responsibilities. I left Nora with my baby, trusting her to be able to care for my helpless infant and yet, I hadn’t done enough to protect the nanny.

  “I’m going through all the employee files tomorrow,” I decided. “I won’t let this happen again.” It was one thing to be sorry, it was another thing to do something about it.

  “I don’t think that’s necessary,” Smith said so swiftly that I raised an eyebrow. “I just mean that I can do that. You have your hands full.”

  “Alright,” I agreed. I hesitated a moment, before adding, “Smith, stay close by tonight.” I wanted to believe that I had all of this under control, but I wouldn’t risk Penny’s welfare again. I had to put her needs above my pride.

  “Wild horses,” he said, signaling that he understood. He sank into the other chair, and I looked over at him. He ditched his suit jacket somewhere along with his tie. As he settled, he reached up and unfastened his top button. His cufflinks followed. He was tired, but his evening stubble had grown darker, and I found myself thinking of how good it felt when it scratched along my inner thigh. He tossed the cufflinks on the chair side table, watching me with a burning intensity that reminded me that less than an hour ago we’d been pulled over on the snowy side of the road, promising each other forever the best way we knew how. A crooked smile hooked his mouth as if he was thinking the same thing, and, for just a moment, we were the couple cut from the catalog. Wife and husband, mother, father, and the precious gifts our love had given us. We had the world in this room. For just a moment, everything was perfect.

  “Why don’t you take a break?” Smith asked, leaning down to take Penny from me. She’d been sleeping peacefully for the last hour, and I wasn’t certain I wanted to give her up just yet. I wanted to soak up these peaceful moments with her before returning to the chaos of the real world. That said, I need
ed a glass of water and a trip to the loo. Plus, there was nothing sexier than seeing Smith with Penny.

  She started a little as he lifted her into his arm, and he hushed her softly, rocking her back and forth as I rose from the glider and stretched. He took the seat I’d vacated, his eyes never leaving his sleeping bundle. There was none of the cocky arrogance I’d first fallen in love with when he held her, there was only a hushed reverence bordering on worshipfulness that made me fall in love with him all over again.

  The rest of the house was quiet when I headed toward the kitchen. Edward hadn’t come in from the party as far as I knew. I was going to have to ask him how things went with Tomas in the morning. Given that I’d left him with Jane, there was no telling how much trouble he’d gotten into. I flipped on the kitchen lights and turned, nearly jumping out of my skin when I found Mrs. Winters sitting at the table.

  “You scared me,” I said. Had she been sitting alone in the dark? I studied her for a moment. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was clutching a mug tightly in her white-knuckled grip.

  “Seems fair, given how much your oversight scared me,” she said in a cold voice.

  “I didn’t know that Nora…“ I trailed away, torn between feeling surprised by her reaction and feeling guilty because I knew she was somewhat right.

  “Can I get you something, ma’am?” she asked dutifully, pushing her chair back. Its legs scraped across the floor more loudly in the sleeping house.

  “I’m just getting a glass of water,” I said, heading over to the cabinets. I took a glass down and filled it. Drinking it in silence, I considered how to make this right for her.

  “I must have overlooked the information in her application,” I said for Mrs. Winters’s benefit. “There was so much happening with the remodel and the baby. Smith and I are going to go through all of the employee files and make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She bobbed her head at me before rising slowly, wobbling a little on her feet.

  “Are you feeling well?” I asked in concern as she swayed on her feet.

  “I’m just fine,” she snapped. “I’ll be going down to bed unless you need me.”

  I shook my head. Mrs. Winters disappeared down the narrow servant’s staircase toward her quarters on the ground floor.. I waited until she was gone and walked over to the table. Picking up the mug she was drinking from, I sniffed it and immediately gasped as the sting of whiskey hit my nostrils. No wonder she’d been shaky on her feet. It wasn’t my place to judge a grown woman’s drinking choices, especially on New Year’s Eve, but I couldn’t help wondering if Mrs. Winters was a mean drunk, given how rudely she’d just spoken to me.

  I carried the cup to the sink and rinsed it out, leaving it on the counter. Tonight had been too much for all of us. We had all been through a lot lately. But it was a new year, and I was determined that in the morning we would turn over a new leaf accordingly. I opened the rubbish bin to dump my tea leaves and saw the crumpled remains of the fruitcake there. No doubt it was the one that had caused Nora’s allergic reaction.

  Making my way upstairs, I paused at her room and knocked softly before peeking in. “I just wanted to check on you. I hope you weren’t sleeping.”

  “I think I’m a bit too shaken up to sleep,” she admitted, biting her lip. “I’m sorry to ruin your night.”

  “Don’t apologize to me,” I said firmly. “I should have known about your allergy.”

  “I thought you did,” she said with some hesitation. “It was on my application, and I brought it up to you personally.”

  “Honestly, I’ve had baby brain for a while.” It was the nicest way to say that I hadn’t had my shit together of late.

  “I’m not upset with you,” she said quickly. “I didn’t mean to suggest that.”

  “I barely remember anything before Penny was born. Everything was happening all at once.”

  “Oh no, Belle, it was after I came to help you with Penny.” She cocked her head at my puzzled face. “You don’t remember? You said you would tell Mrs. Winters. It’s why I didn’t worry about the fruitcake. Normally, I avoid them.”

  “It must’ve slipped my mind.” It was a lie. I had no recollection of her mentioning it, but those had been sleep deprived days. “Is there anything I can get you?”

  “I’m fine. I promise I’ll be back up to help you with the baby in the morning. I’m supposed to rest for now.”

  “Take all the time you need. Smith and I are taking turns with Penny.

  “I just don’t want you to think I’m not available,” she said meaningfully.

  I forced a smile, I didn’t need another reminder that she’d taken over the task of being Penny’s primary caregiver. “We’ll be fine. I’m glad that you’re okay. Good night.”

  She settled against her pillow and smiled. “Good night.”

  I closed the door behind me and started toward the nursery. I paused as I reached Smith’s study. I wanted to see Nora’s application for myself. This shouldn’t have happened.. I went to his desk, prepared to rifle through his drawers to look for the employee files but found a stack of them on top of his desk instead. I sorted through them, looking for Nora’s but hers was the only one not on the desk. Naturally.

  I opened his file drawer and thumbed through the hanging folders. There was paperwork regarding Thornham. The lease to his offices that he’d completely ignored since Penny’s arrival. Information pertinent to my own business. Our will. But Nora’s file was nowhere to be found. I looked through the stack on his desk again. All I had wanted was to see it there in black and white, and prove to myself that was an innocent oversight. But as I returned the files to the stack, I couldn’t help wondering where Nora’s information was—and who had it.

  11

  Smith

  Breakfast the next morning was a somber affair. Mrs. Winters seemed to be suffering from a headache and delivered plates to the table like she was doling out punishments. I said nothing as I took a seat, Penny in my arms. Belle had stayed up with her most of the night and was having a well deserved late start.

  “Morning.” Georgia looked fresher than the rest of us as she came in through the back door. She had disappeared to the guesthouse almost as soon as we returned from the party. I still haven’t seen Edward or Jane. I wasn’t certain either had come last night.

  “Sleep well?” I asked dryly.

  She pulled out the chair next to me, it screeched on the stone floor and Penny stirred restlessly in my arms.

  “Great. My housemate didn’t come home.” She cut a bit of sausage with the edge of her fork and shoveled into her mouth.

  “Jane had her eye on a gentleman at the party,” I told her.

  “I think she caught him.” Georgia continued to eat like everything was normal. I stole a glance at Mrs. Winters and caught her glaring at us. She turned around swiftly and busied herself putting a kettle on.

  “Should I save a plate for the missus?” she called over her shoulder. “Or take up some tea?”

  “She was up with the baby most of the night,” I said. “I think we should let her rest.”

  Mrs. Winters turned off the hob and huffed out of the room towards the pantry.

  “She’s in a good mood,” Georgia muttered.

  “Belle said she reprimanded her last night. She seems to think it’s Belle’s fault that Nora ate those nuts.

  “That is actually nuts,” Georgia said emphatically. “No pun intended. It’s not like she shoved them down her throat.”

  “I said the same thing. But it seemed as though Mrs. Winters is holding a grudge.”

  “I was thinking—” Georgia cut off as Nora entered the kitchen.

  It was hard to believe that she’d needed medical help last night. She waltzed into the room, smiling from ear to ear and came straight over. “I can take the baby now.”

  “You should have some breakfast,” I said. “After what you went through last night. You must be hungry.”
/>
  “You’re so sweet,” she said appreciatively. “I came down earlier and made myself some toast. I guess I was up before everyone else.”

  That must be another reason that Mrs. Winters was unhappy. She prided herself on feeding everyone and didn’t appreciate it when someone beat her to the task. I passed Penny to Nora, who kissed her head affectionately.

  “I missed you, Penny girl.” She carried the baby off in the direction of the nursery, and I tucked into my breakfast properly.

  I had a mouthful of sausage when I remembered Georgia had been mid sentence when Nora walked in. I swallowed the bite hard, but before I could prompt her, Georgia put down her fork and gave me a serious look.

  “Price, be careful there.”

  “Nora?” I said, wanting to laugh. “I’m not remotely—”

  “You’re not the one I’m worried about.”

  I frowned. “What does that mean?”

  “You’re so sweet,” she imitated Nora, batting her lashes for effect.

  “She’s a kid.” I returned to my breakfast. The nanny was the least of our worries.

  “My point exactly.” She heaved a uniquely feminine sigh of disapproval before getting back to business. “I think we should talk to Roman.”

  “I thought you weren’t worried about him.”

  “I’m not. He doesn’t strike me as someone to worry about, but he was here when the Thornes lived on the property. That means he knows better than anyone what might’ve been going on in this house before the disappearances.”

  She was probably right about that, but Rowan might not cooperate. He was grumpy on his best days. I couldn’t imagine he’d appreciate an interrogation.

  I speared another bite of sausage. “After breakfast.”

  We found Rowan near the stables, tending to the landscaping he’d installed around the Bless offices. The snow was wreaking havoc on a number of the rose bushes he’d been caring for through the fall. As we approached, I caught a string of muttered curses as he scooped mounds of snow away from the flowers.