The Silent Girl (Sebastian Bergman 4)

by Michael Hjorth

  She pressed even closer. Warn Mummy.

  She squeezed her eyes tight shut.

  She wanted to warn her. But it was impossible.

  She couldn’t do it. Didn’t want to do it.

  On the outside she was visible and vulnerable.

  On the inside the walls protected her.

  As long as she was little.

  And silent.

  It was Sebastian who spotted the Volvo first. It was still in the left-hand lane, speeding past one car after another in the right-hand lane.

  ‘There,’ he said, pointing. Vanja nodded; she had switched off the blue light a couple of minutes ago so that Pia wouldn’t notice her. Sebastian glanced at the speedometer: 125 kph.

  ‘She’s driving fast,’ he said anxiously.

  ‘I’ll try and keep my distance.’

  She picked up the mic again and called the traffic police controller over in Salem. She had already spoken to a team from the Södertälje traffic division, and the plan was for them to pull Pia over in what would appear to be a routine check, get her out of the car, away from Maria and Nicole, then hold her until Vanja and Sebastian arrived. Hopefully they were already there and had started flagging down vehicles. Vanja had promised to call them if she had visual contact with the Volvo to give them an idea of how much time they had before Pia would be with them.

  ‘I can see her now. She should be there in less than six minutes.’

  ‘We’re ready,’ came the immediate response.

  Vanja turned to Sebastian. She was feeling a little calmer now she could actually see the car they were following.

  ‘Let’s just hope Traffic do their job,’ she said.

  ‘And what do we do?’

  ‘Hopefully nothing. Turn up and collect Pia from the traffic cops.’ Her expression was full of understanding; it was a long time since he had seen that look on her face. ‘It’s going to be fine, Sebastian.’

  He nodded and looked out of the window as Stockholm’s southern suburbs whizzed by.

  ‘You’re bloody hard work, but you’re a good police officer,’ he said after a while.

  ‘You’re mainly just bloody hard work.’

  He burst out laughing.

  ‘Why do I always fuck things up?’ The question was meant to be light-hearted and rhetorical, but to his surprise he heard a clear note of self-pity in his words.

  ‘Surely you must know that.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Because you’re arrogant, cynical, don’t give a toss about other people, you lie, you cheat, you’re condescending … Shall I go on?’

  ‘No, there’s no need.’

  Sebastian gazed at Vanja in silence for a moment before turning his attention back to the red car.

  Vanja was right. He had never, ever believed that someone could love him for the person he really was. Not his parents, not his university colleagues, virtually none of the women he had known.

  Lily had been the first, and so far the only one. Sabine and Nicole, of course, but they were children.

  And Vanja. At least she had the nerve to confront him, to stick around. But there was no one else. He had played so many games, lived with so many half-truths and lies for such a long time that the lies were what he had become. Nothing else.

  ‘Four minutes,’ Vanja said, totally focused on the Volvo up ahead.

  Sebastian didn’t say anything; he was trying to spot Nicole in the back of the car. He could see the dark outlines of Pia and Maria’s heads through the rear window, but there was no sign of Nicole.

  She was probably hidden by the seat.

  The girl he had lost.

  Mummy.

  She hadn’t thought anything for a long, long time.

  She had emptied herself completely. She had curled up inside herself, become smaller and smaller.

  Hoping that she would disappear completely.

  Then it came.

  The only thought. The only word.

  Mummy. In danger.

  She hadn’t been able to save Fred.

  But he didn’t know anything. Neither did she.

  Then.

  But now she knew.

  She had to tell Mummy.

  Just as she had had to open the door of the house once more in order to help the man who had saved her, she had to tell Mummy now.

  Even if it tore down her walls. Left her unprotected. Exposed her to everything that was wrong and terrible.

  Mummy had to be told.

  On the outside she slowly raised her face from Mummy’s warm jacket. Looked up.

  Mummy seemed pleased. Surprised. She was smiling.

  On the outside she reached up. Up to Mummy, who lowered her face to Nicole’s.

  On the inside she found her voice. It was easier than she had expected, as if it had been lying in a corner just waiting for her to have the courage to use it.

  ‘It was her, Mummy,’ she whispered. ‘It was her.’

  Maria stared at her daughter.

  Nicole’s voice had been weak, yet firm in some strange way. Maria had imagined that those first words would make her rejoice inside, that she would want to scream with sheer joy. Not like now. She wanted to scream with pure fear.

  ‘What did you say?’ she whispered back, moving her head closer. She had heard what the child said, but she didn’t understand. What did it have to do with the woman whose curious gaze she met in the mirror?

  ‘She was there,’ Nicole went on, her voice getting stronger with every syllable. ‘When they died.’

  Maria followed her daughter’s gaze. Pia’s expression had changed. Gone was every trace of curiosity, gone was the friendliness and sympathy. All Maria could see now was fury mixed with resolve and energy.

  Suddenly she understood.

  The eyes in the mirror told her what she really didn’t want to know. The truth.

  The car swerved dramatically as Pia jerked the wheel to the right. The tyres screeched, Maria and Nicole were thrown to the left, and if they hadn’t been wearing seat belts they would have been flung straight across the back seat.

  ★ ★ ★

  The Volvo skidded violently in front of them. Blue smoke rose from the tyres as the car slid across the E4 and zigzagged onto the Vårby exit slip. For a second Vanja was convinced that it was going to carry straight on and come off the carriageway, but Pia seemed to regain control at the last minute and headed down towards Vårby Allé and the traffic lights, still travelling far too fast.

  Instinctively Vanja also turned the wheel to the right. She had a better angle than Pia, and the skid wasn’t nearly as bad, but she almost lost control. She yelled into the radio mic, steering with one hand:

  ‘Something’s happened! The target has turned off for Vårby Allé! Request immediate backup!’

  They saw the Volvo force its way past a car waiting at the lights by mounting the grass verge. It scraped the side of the other car, but didn’t slow down; it carried on going and soon disappeared from view.

  Sebastian held onto the strap above the door as they kept up the pursuit. He stared ahead, but there was no sign of the Volvo. Suddenly he saw a big white van coming towards them, frantically sounding its horn as it came closer and closer. Vanja slammed on the brakes; Sebastian was sure they were going to crash, but Vanja managed to stop at the last minute. The van shot past, the driver gesticulating angrily. Sebastian and Vanja looked for the Volvo, but the viaduct over the motorway was blocking their view. Vanja switched on the blue lights and put her foot down; they had lost the element of surprise anyway. Gone was the feeling that everything would be fine; now anything was possible. Including the worst-case scenario.

  Sebastian’s face was ashen as he desperately searched for any sign of the red car. All at once the helicopter pilot’s voice came over the radio, calm and authoritative, not remotely fazed by what had happened.

  ‘I’ve got it – travelling along Vårby Allé in the direction of Botkyrkaleden at high speed.’ The matter-of-fact tone calmed th
em both. They hadn’t lost Pia; they still had a chance. They reached the straight and saw the red car way up ahead, veering alarmingly from side to side. It looked as if Pia had lost control. It skidded off the road and across the grass on the right, racing down towards the water. For a second they hoped Pia would regain control and stop before it was too late, but her brake lights didn’t come on. Instead of slowing down, the car actually seemed to be speeding up, as if gathering itself before it left the shore and flew several metres out into Lake Mälaren. Sebastian let out a panic-stricken yell as Vanja headed for the lake.

  At the same time the helicopter pilot made a concise statement:

  ‘The car is in the lake. I repeat, the car is in the lake. Vårby Allé right next to Restaurant Max.’

  His voice sounded just as steady and authoritative as before.

  Nothing seemed to affect it.

  That was probably how a person looked at the world when they were so high above it.

  It was a strange feeling. For a millisecond she was in a state of weightlessness. There was no resistance, nothing holding her down apart from the seat belt, and she felt herself and Nicole being pushed up towards the roof. Instinctively she took a firm grip on Nicole and held her tight, preparing for the inevitable impact. The blue-green water was getting closer and closer, dark and impenetrable like a silent wall, just waiting for them. She noticed that Pia had opened the driver’s door, that the engine was still running, but there was no sound from the wheels on the road.

  That was the strangest thing of all.

  The silence.

  In spite of the fact that they were moving so fast.

  The silence made the bang even more deafening when it came. The surface of the water was hard, brutal. One second it was calm, the next it was white, foaming and all-encompassing. It engulfed the car and the airbags inflated with a dull explosion. Maria’s forehead slammed into the headrest of the seat in front. Her whole face hurt, but she held on to Nicole. The car had gone into the lake at an angle, front first, but now the rear section was partially submerged too, and water was beginning to seep in under the doors. Maria could see Pia struggling to escape from the airbag, which was more or less pinning her down. They were sinking fast as water poured in through the open driver’s door. Maria realised she had to do something. She quickly undid Nicole’s seat belt; the child was pale, but looked confused rather than afraid. In the front of the car Pia managed to push aside the airbag, and she began to wriggle out. So far she hadn’t even glanced at her passengers; it was as if they weren’t there, as if they had ceased to exist. As a result, Maria was filled with a raging energy. That woman had already obliterated most of her family, but this time she wasn’t going to succeed. She and Nicole were going to survive.

  She tried to undo her own seat belt, but Nicole was in the way and she couldn’t reach the release button. Pia was out of the car and swimming away. The water was ice cold; Maria was already frozen.

  ‘We have to get out,’ she said to Nicole, impressed by how calm she managed to sound. ‘Trust me.’

  She tried to push open her door, but it felt as if it had been welded shut, as if the whole of Lake Mälaren was pressing against the other side. She went back to her seat belt, even lifting Nicole with one arm, but she still couldn’t find the button. She was starting to panic as she fumbled around. The water was already up to her stomach, and soon she would have to lift Nicole to keep her head above the surface. She would need both hands to do that, which meant she would have no chance of undoing her belt. The water rose to her chest. The car would be filled with water in seconds. She could see the panic growing in Nicole’s eyes, and she could hear her breathing growing shallower all the time.

  She had to think. Concentrate. What was it she had heard? Or read? Think! The pressure inside a car full of water was the same as the pressure on the outside, which meant she would be able to open the door. That was right, wasn’t it? Not that it really mattered – she had no alternative.

  She pressed the button to lower the side window, and to her surprise it worked. The water came gushing in, and she raised her daughter’s head; Nicole was shaking with a combination of cold and fear. Maria looked deep into her eyes.

  ‘You’re going to have to swim, sweetheart. Just like you did last summer. Swim to the shore. Promise me.’

  Nicole stared at her, clearly terrified.

  ‘I’m coming too, I promise.’ Maria quickly kissed her forehead. ‘Take a big breath, sweetheart. A big deep breath.’

  Nicole did as she was told and Maria fumbled for the door catch. She found it, got the door open and pushed Nicole out with all the strength she could muster. It was a terrible sensation, letting go and feeling that little body disappear. Maria tried to catch sight of her, but the swirling, cloudy water made it impossible.

  She stretched up as far as she could and managed to get her face in the tiny air pocket just below the roof. She took one last breath, then dived back down to search for her seat-belt button.

  ★ ★ ★

  Vanja had driven off the road, straight through a thicket of bushes, and had managed to stop the car only a metre or so from the edge of the lake. The Volvo was already sinking; only the roof was visible, and it was surrounded by bubbles as the last of the air was forced out.

  Someone was swimming towards them. Pia Flodin.

  No one else around the car or in the water. Sebastian threw off his jacket, kicked off his shoes and jumped in without a second’s thought.

  He had been here before.

  Back then the water had been warmer, a violent surge throwing him in every direction, but there was no real difference.

  He had been here before.

  In the water that was taking those he loved away from him.

  He swam to the car as fast as he could. Vanja was on the phone, calling an ambulance. A police officer on a motorbike had arrived and was running towards the lake and Pia. Sebastian focused on the car. He could still see the very top of the roof – then it was gone. No sign of life. He dived, but the water was dark and cloudy and he could barely see his own hand in front of his eyes. He came back up and saw someone else break the surface at the same time. It was Maria. She immediately started screaming:

  ‘Nicole!’

  She looked all around her, hysterical with fear.

  ‘Is she still in the car?’ Sebastian shouted. She turned in his direction; he had never seen such terror in anyone’s eyes.

  ‘No, I pushed her out. I pushed her out first!’

  She dived back down, and he did the same. It was still dark, still impossible to see anything. But his hand touched the car; he grabbed the edge of the roof above an open window and pulled himself down. He could feel nothing but cold metal, angular industrial shapes.

  Nothing living.

  No Nicole.

  He stayed down there as long as he could before he was forced to come up for air. Maria was there too; she looked terrible. She was shivering with cold and shock.

  ‘Nicole!’ she yelled again, weaker this time. She wouldn’t last much longer. Sebastian took a deep breath and dived again.

  Strong strokes, powerful kicks. He was going to find her.

  The pain in his lungs was almost unbearable, and the cold was taking its toll. His ears were hurting, and he tried to equalise the pressure. His hands touched something soft and sticky; the mud at the bottom of the lake turned the water brown, making it even more difficult to see. He fumbled around; his whole body was aching and he could barely think clearly. But he kept on going, even though his lungs were crying out for air.

  Back to the surface. A small boat had appeared, and the man sitting in it was calling out to Sebastian and Maria. More and more people had arrived on the shore, mainly police officers in hi-vis jackets. Sebastian tried to take in enough air, then yelled to Maria, who looked as if she had reached the end of her resources: ‘Swim to the boat!’

  He didn’t wait for a response, but took one more breath and went back
down. He still couldn’t orientate himself underwater, but tried to dive a little further away from the car this time. He didn’t really have any idea where he or the car was any longer; everything was water, only water. But one thing was very clear: each time he dived he had less and less time before he was forced to come up. He was getting breathless; soon he wouldn’t be able to keep going. Up again. He tried to force in more air, fill his lungs through sheer willpower. Down again. Down into the darkness and the cold.

  Suddenly he felt something with his right hand. For a fraction of a second, something swept past. It wasn’t hard and metallic, it was something else. He kicked out to the right with every scrap of strength he had left and stretched out his hand as far as he possibly could, searching frantically.

  He nudged it again; his fingertips touched something soft.

  All at once he was back in the water off Khao Lak.

  He had been holding a hand, and he had let go of it.

  The same thing was happening now.

  It slipped away, disappeared into the gloom just like before.

  But it was definitely a hand. Her hand.

  Back to the surface, He took in the small amount of air he could manage, then dived again. He no longer felt the cold; he wasn’t thinking about the pain in his body and his lungs. There was nothing in his mind except that hand.

  He searched, reached out, felt around.

  Nothing.

  He had lost her again.

  The sun must have broken through the cloud cover, because strips of light were shining down into the lake. Everything around him was brighter, and he could see particles of dirt and mud swirling around. Then he saw the outline of her body just a little way off. She was close, just a kick away. He grabbed her hand; it was lifeless. He tried to pull her upwards, but she was heavier than he expected. He managed to get his arm around her waist; he was utterly exhausted, but he would never let her go. Never. He would rather die with her than give up.

  As he had so often wished he had done on that December day in Thailand. Disappeared along with his daughter.

  He kicked out, summoning up the last of his strength. Up, up towards the sunlight. Towards salvation. But time was running out; it was as if the water was trying to hold on to them.