Endless: Violet Eden Chapters: Book Four

by Jessica Shirvington

  And yet, despite all of this, like Phoenix, a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Did that make me terrible?

  Perhaps.

  Nonetheless I was relieved to know I’d make a difference – for the better. Tomorrow night I would save innocent lives, children who would one day grow up to become warriors. This would be my death. It had to count as one of the better ways to die.

  Scared?

  I was petrified. But it wouldn’t help to fall apart – there simply was not enough time.

  I thought back to when Uri had first spoken to me, when I had embraced – he’d said ‘Even the greatest bringers of justice will only find salvation in surrender.’

  This must be what he’d meant.

  A shame he hadn’t seen fit to enlighten me with that one crucial detail: that surrender would lead to a gruesome death.

  I felt the first prickle of a tear. I held it back. But the thoughts kept coming.

  Everything we’ve done – all for nothing.

  Lilith would survive us, and Phoenix would be left to destroy her, something that would not be done easily.

  But what other option is there?

  Not one of us could stand by and let so many children be slaughtered. Lilith had played a masterful hand.

  I braced my hand against the shower wall. I half expected to break down, but I didn’t. Instead, breathing deeply, I withdrew to that place I had learned to go a long time ago, the one that forced me to stand strong, that had helped me survive the attack when I was younger. I hadn’t let that teacher break me, nor would I let Lilith.

  I don’t run. I don’t quit. I don’t believe in fairy-tale endings.

  I will face Lilith.

  The time for falling apart was over. The time for contemplating Heaven and Hell and which one favoured me was over, too. I wasn’t going to be one of those people who dropped to their knees in the final stretch when it had never before seemed a logical idea.

  Standing there under the shower, my thoughts travelled to Lincoln and I broke into a fit of bitter giggles. After all that we had done to stay away from each other. Fighting the very core of our souls that demanded closeness which we only denied, denied, denied. It seemed crazy now that we’d actually considered it a possibility to live our long lives side by side in such a ridiculous pattern of partnership but not as the soulmates we really were.

  Who were we kidding?

  Now, ironically – life’s last bitch-slap – we were going to die anyway.

  Sure, we could call in Griffin and the cavalry, but at what cost? Lilith would no doubt kill the children and our lives were not worth that risk. We were Grigori. We were warriors. It was our duty.

  But then, something else clicked in my mind. The rambling thoughts and the tears stopped and I blinked. I’d missed something.

  Phoenix’s words – You’d be best off if you considered every way to make yourself as powerful as possible before then – and the difficulty with which he’d delivered them.

  ‘Oh my God,’ I whispered. ‘We’re both going to die.’

  The air left my lungs and I grasped hold of the taps to stop myself from falling to my knees.

  There is absolutely no reason for us not to be together.

  In fact, for the first time, everything was in favour of Lincoln’s soul being bonded to mine. The power it would give us, the ability to share our strengths and healing. It would give me more time, which equalled more children. And afterwards … Lincoln wouldn’t have to consciously endure the torment of his own execution.

  All the risks of causing each other pain and hurt, all the dread of awful consequences vanished.

  We were free.

  Tomorrow, we will die.

  But not tonight.

  I smiled as bittersweet relief filled my soul.

  Then I shaved my legs.

  I’d been in the shower for so long that by the time I emerged, Lincoln was back from dropping off Phoenix and I could hear him moving around downstairs. I threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, wishing I had something more … But I didn’t.

  I took my time, excited to find my hairdryer along with my toiletries bag. Zoe had obviously packed for me.

  It was dark outside when I finally emerged from my bedroom. I headed down the hall and gasped when I reached the top of the stairs. The lights were off and dozens of tea-light candles lined the path down. Soft music that I didn’t recognise drifted up from below. It was an old instrumental piece, something Lincoln must have found in the cabin. Known or not, it would remain my favourite song. For eternity.

  I padded slowly down the stairs, my heart pounding, but in an all-good, exhilarating way. In the living room the fire crackled, giving off a warm glow.

  My hand went to my mouth.

  White lilies.

  Everywhere.

  Frozen in place, I looked towards the kitchen. Lincoln was facing the stove, stirring something. He must have had a shower while I was drying my hair, because his was still damp, and messed about. He was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. Barefoot. His arm flexed as he concentrated on whatever he was cooking, but he knew I was there.

  ‘Dinner’s almost ready,’ he said, without turning around.

  Whatever had happened to Lincoln between the last time I saw him and now, we’d clearly come to the same realisation.

  I chewed on a smile.

  ‘So,’ I said, casually. ‘We’re really going to die, huh?’

  At that, Lincoln put down a wooden spoon and turned. He paused, looking me up and down, his eyes travelling over me in a way he rarely allowed himself. My pulse raced.

  His gaze settled on mine and I noticed the bruise on his cheek. He took a step towards me, and any coherent thoughts I had, scrambled.

  ‘Either way,’ he said, his voice thick as syrup, ‘Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?’

  I hitched a shoulder. ‘The foreplay was dragging on,’ I said, my smile now cheeky.

  He watched, biting down on his lower lip.

  ‘And if we only have tonight, I know exactly how I want to spend it,’ he said. Simple. Sure.

  Hyperventilate later!

  I looked right back at him. ‘Me too.’

  He nodded once and spun back in the direction of the kitchen. ‘Sit down,’ he said. ‘I’ll finish making dinner.’

  Even with his back to me I could see his body heaving with heavy breaths that mirrored mine.

  ‘Linc?’ I whispered.

  ‘Hmm,’ he said, one hand gripping the kitchen bench as if trying to fasten himself there.

  My heart thumped. I felt every nerve in my body come to life as my soul awoke with the sense of possibility.

  Breathe.

  ‘I’m not hungry.’

  I didn’t even make my first step towards him before he was there, crushing me into his body, taking my face in his hands. He paused only to look at me, to make sure I knew he was seeing me.

  ‘I love you,’ he said, and then his lips were on mine.

  My hands were in his hair, then down the strong lines of his back. His arms lifted me into the air as my legs wrapped around his waist. I cried out with the sheer relief of knowing I could finally let go, of knowing I could finally allow my soul its freedom.

  He carried me upstairs, stopping along the way to back me into the wall, to press against me and kiss me in that way of his that ignited every kind of fire conceivable. Slowly, meaningfully, his lips moved with single-minded purpose, telling me with every deliberate touch that he loved me. It reminded me of the first kiss we’d shared and I knew now, that was the moment my soul discovered his and decided they belonged together.

  The burden of our choice had finally been lifted. As a result, Lincoln showed me exactly what it was like to be loved by him without restraint. He was strong and unwavering, but he didn’t rush, taking his time with my clothes and letting me linger as I removed his. I needed the staring time, damn it. He was utterly beautiful.

  He laid me on the bed and held himsel
f over me, his eyes burning into mine with love and want and need and I knew the same emotions were reflected in my own. It was dreamlike. The world had taken on a new perspective and I could feel and see everything with more intensity.

  He pushed my arms up over my head and pressed his palms into mine, each finger connecting with one of my own. He took his time and somehow it was the most sensual experience of my life – feeling his fingers pushing down on mine until they curled around my hand and then, undoing me, he started all over again – his eyes on me the entire time.

  My soul pushed forwards, hungry, willing and demanding what it had desired for so long. What it needed. For the first time I let go.

  I’d imagined this moment over and over, in my dreams. I thought I knew how it would feel, but it wasn’t what I had imagined. This moment transcended everything, because when we joined, my soul – so much more intense than my angelic power – surged up and found his, entwining with it, drowning me in his essence and everything that felt like the sun.

  And then came the power.

  Like a whirlwind, our abilities opened up to each other and I felt the final bond form, creating a gateway from one to another. I felt the rush of his immense strength, and was immediately in tune with his shadow-finding abilities. If I wanted to draw on his powers, I could. It was all there for the taking, just as mine were to him.

  Lincoln cried out. Not with pain, but overload.

  His hand grabbed the side of my face, pushing my hair back, his eyes blazing green.

  ‘You’re incredible. I can feel your power and it’s more than anything I … Violet,’ he swallowed, watching me in awe. ‘It’s like … It’s like you’re as powerful as an angel.’

  The words were momentous. But even so, I was restless. His strength was coursing through me, daring to be tested. I smiled and with barely a thought, flipped him over so fast I surprised us both.

  He approved.

  Then he pulled me down to him, closer and closer until it was impossible to tell where one of us began and the other one ended. And I didn’t want to. For once in my life I was exactly where I was supposed to be, who I was supposed to be and with whom I was supposed to be.

  I nestled into the crook of his neck, breathing in everything that was him and found the ability to talk for the first time since he’d pressed his lips to mine.

  ‘I love you, too.’

  He planted kisses on the top of my head. I was in heaven.

  Me. Violet Eden. Grigori. Child of man. Child of warrior. Child of angel. Above all else – I was his.

  And he was mine.

  CHATER TWENTY-NINE

  ‘I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

  My soul can reach …’

  Elizabeth Barrett Browning

  I lay on my side, a huge bowl of strawberries and a ripped-open packet of pancakes in front of me and a still-shirtless Lincoln wrapped around me. I wasn’t sure if what I felt was his power, our souls, or just … the afterglow of everything we’d just done.

  I popped a strawberry in my mouth then grabbed another, holding it up to Lincoln. His lips closed around my fingers and I felt heat rush through me again. We’d been doing this for a while. In fact, I was full. Not that I was about to stop.

  ‘Is it clichéd to say we were crazy to have waited this long?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes,’ he replied and I back-elbowed him, but he just used the movement to pull me closer. ‘Though I’m starting to think you’re right,’ he added quietly.

  I smiled. He kissed my shoulder.

  ‘How’s this for clichéd: I love you with everything I am,’ he whispered.

  I snuggled into his arms. ‘I love you, too. So much that I’m not even going to ask how much practice it took you to get so very good at …’

  He chuckled into my shoulder and I shivered, considering whether I had enough energy to suggest a rematch.

  ‘No, we are not having that conversation. Nothing I have ever done with any other girl would ever compare to what we are to one another, Vi. And anyway, there’s a big difference between sex and–’

  I put my hands over my ears. ‘La, la, la!’

  His eyes lit up as he rolled me onto my back. ‘What?’

  I lowered one hand. ‘Please don’t say what you were about to, it sounds so …’ I shivered. Daytime soapie, I finished in my head.

  He chuckled again. ‘Well, you know what I meant and anyway, there are other things I’d much rather be saying to you right now.’

  I wiggled around in his arms to face him, my fingers grazing his cheek. ‘Would it have anything to do with the bruise that was here earlier?’ It must have healed at some point, probably when our powers joined. But I hadn’t forgotten.

  ‘I’d rather not talk about that either,’ he said, sounding guarded for the first time that evening. I felt it too, through our bond, his contempt towards Phoenix but also something else, some kind of clarity I couldn’t understand.

  Is he blocking me?

  ‘How bad was it?’ I asked. It didn’t take a genius to know he and Phoenix had fought.

  He shrugged, refocusing his attention on his hand travelling up and down my arm. I shivered with goosebumps. ‘It was better to get it over and done with. And on this one occasion, it was probably justified.’

  Well, that can only mean one thing.

  I bit my lip. Phoenix had known what he was leaving Lincoln and me to tonight.

  ‘Was he okay?’ I asked.

  ‘Vi,’ he sighed. ‘Phoenix and I will never get along. And if I didn’t have you in my arms right now, I wouldn’t be able to say this but … his love for you is real. I think his desire to be the man he ought to be is what’s driving him now. And I think you’re the person that gave him that desire to begin with. It doesn’t excuse what he’s done. He should be held accountable, but, I do get some of the things.’

  I did, too. ‘But you guys still had to hit it out?’

  ‘Just a little venting.’

  ‘Feel better?’

  His eyes travelled down my body and he grinned. ‘Considerably.’

  I rolled my eyes, even if my smile did betray me. ‘So, if not that, what did you want to say then?’ I asked, getting back to our previous conversation.

  He took a moment, his fingers playing with loose strands of my hair. ‘I want you to know: you’re it, everything I want. I know you think I want to be this warrior, and yeah, it’s important on one level, but what you and I have – what we are …’ He shook his head slowly, holding my gaze. ‘Nothing else comes close.’ He kissed me, and the last part of me that hadn’t completely liquefied, melted. When he pulled back, his fingers brushed over my lips. ‘No matter what happens tomorrow – no matter what – tonight was exactly what I wanted and for all the right reasons. For you. Because I love you.’ His gaze grew intense as he stared into my eyes. ‘Promise me, Vi. Promise me you will always remember that.’

  ‘I promise,’ I vowed, my voice hitching on something – the way he was looking at me.

  He smiled, and dropped back onto his pillow stretching out. ‘It’s amazing. Like my whole existence, my body, my soul, everything now finally gets it. We’re together and I’m finally alive. I can feel you, reach you, know you in ways I never imagined possible.’ He demonstrated this by opening our connection and as easily as spreading butter on toast moved his powers through me, drawing us together.

  ‘Scary?’ he asked, watching my reaction.

  I moved even closer, hating that I was mere centimetres away. ‘No way. It’s perfect. Beautiful.’

  I kissed a line along his jaw and his arms encircled me again.

  ‘If I ask you to do something for me tomorrow, would you do it?’

  ‘What?’ I asked.

  ‘Trust Phoenix. I can’t tell you exactly how I know – I just do.’

  ‘Did you two discuss anything else I should know about?’ I asked, studying his eyes. He was holding something back.

  He put a finger under my chin and
gently tilted it up to him. ‘Vi, promise me.’

  He poured all of his heart into the request. Whatever this was, it was seriously important to him and I just couldn’t bring myself to deny him anything.

  ‘You do realise that’s the second promise you’ve asked for in a very short space of time?’

  He smiled. ‘I do. But after this, I can promise you there will be no more talking.’

  ‘I promise.’

  When we finally dragged ourselves out of bed, it was mid-morning – even though we’d only had a few hours’ sleep, it seemed pointless to waste any of our time together. I made coffees. Lincoln scrambled eggs and we moved around each other in our familiar pattern that was now so altogether different. And utterly delicious. We were adjusting to our soul bond – the feeling of complete and total connection with each other.

  It felt as though we were in a constant dance.

  Lincoln was fairly certain he would no longer need his silver wristbands, saying that his senses would now flow from me to him and be stronger than anything he’d experienced before. It was heartbreaking to know we’d never get to spend time testing the theories.

  We ate our breakfast outside in our rocking chairs with blankets over our knees.

  ‘We should probably call Griffin. Steph and the others should be in the country – or at least on their way by now,’ I said, absent-mindedly running through my mental check-list, while my eyes roamed over Lincoln – a different check-list.

  He smiled, and not because of what I’d said. I blushed and poked my tongue out at him, which only made him chuckle.

  It’s a weird thing – knowing the end is near. You think it will be all panic stations, but … There’s relief. And a certain quiet. You can finally be yourself.

  ‘Seriously,’ I said.

  He nodded. ‘Okay. Yes, we should call Griffin. But there’s no point doing that yet. We’ll call an hour before we leave.’

  At first I didn’t understand, then it dawned on me. ‘You think he’ll try to stop us?’

  Lincoln reached over and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering. ‘Either way – it’s too cruel to put him in the position to choose. If he lets us go, he’ll feel like he’s sending us to our deaths. If he forces us to stay, he’ll blame himself for whatever happens to those kids.’