by Rosa Swann
My relationship with Zeke is a little... unconventional. I love him. I fell for him, hard, even though I was in no position to actually do anything about it when we first met. But we couldn’t fight our attraction, no matter how hard we tried or how much we tried to hide it from others. We were close in ways that two Omegas normally aren’t, no matter how you look at it.
Clay took the news of us dating pretty well, even if it confused him a little at first. Zeke’s been Clay’s best friend for years, and is his most trusted employee. So I don’t think Clay really cared about my partner being Zeke, just that we’re both Omegas. Now our closest friends and family know about Zeke and me, it makes everything so much easier. But I don’t think the rest of the world is ready for a relationship like ours yet, and I’m not ready to face angry looks and words from strangers.
So, we’re keeping it hidden when we’re outside the house, even if that’s hard. We have our stolen moments, but other than that, we have to act like we’re just really good friends.
It’s complicated, an understatement.
I finish my cup of tea as Mia and Evan are playing with their food. It’s moments like these that I love the most, spending a little quiet time with my kids, even though I’m technically at work. I know that not many people have this opportunity, having their kids with them at work, so I feel extra lucky that I can spend my time with them.
“Wes?” Zeke comes into the small room where I’m taking my break.
“Hmm?” I look up, never able to hide the smile I get when he’s near.
“Clay sent a message saying that he and Aiden will be back late tonight, they’re having dinner at Wilder’s. So he said to just make something for us and the kids.” He comes over and he gives me a quick kiss.
My cheeks heat up, but we’re in a closed off room, nobody can see us here. “Okay.” My voice is a little low, I clear my throat. “We’ll figure something out later. I need to get to class in about an hour and I’ll be picking up Josie and Oliver from school on my way back. I’ll buy us some dinner then.” I stand up, collecting the plates and cups.
“Sounds good.” Zeke smiles, then he steps aside. “Back on your feet, we have customers to serve.” He grins and I shake my head, smiling. Yeah, yeah.
I bring the dishes to the kitchen in the back and then, as I return, Zeke is already taking Mia and Evan back to the main part of the cafe. They usually just sit in the kids’ corner and play there. There are toys, books, other things, all there for the little ones that come here. It’s positioned so that we can easily see them from behind the counter, but there are also a couple of tables and benches around it for parents to sit at themselves.
When I get behind the counter and take my apron, my eyes go back to the work table. Nathan is still sitting there, he smiles as he catches my eyes.
I go over to him. “Do you want anything, a refill?” I look at his cup of coffee, but he shakes his head.
“Can I have a tuna sandwich and a glass of orange juice? I need to have lunch, gotta get to my real job after this.” He smiles.
“Your real job?” I jot his order down.
“Yeah, I’m a literature professor at the local college. You may have gone there yourself?”
A literature professor. Wow. I nod, quiet for a moment. “I go to college part-time since the start of the month.”
He nods, encouragingly. “Are you a first-years?”
“Yeah. Did a couple of other things first. But realised that a degree would probably be useful.” I smile a little, euphemisms are not my strong suit.
Nathan looks like he somewhat understands what I mean with ‘other things’, though, it’s not really a secret when you just told him that at least one of the kids walking around here is your own... “What are you studying?” He leans in a little closer, his attention really on me.
“Taking some classes in child psychology right now. I’m hoping to work at a nursery or primary school or something like that.”
“You want to work with young kids?”
I nod, getting a little shy under Nathan’s gaze and attention. “I love kids and I think I’d love having a job working with them. Though, I’m only going to classes part-time right now. I’m hoping to finish by the time Evan and Mia are in school so that I can start working too, and we’ll likely have a similar working schedule, so that’s good.” I’m rambling now, not even sure why I’m telling him all of this, apart from maybe liking the way he’s listening to me. And I don’t get to talk to a lot of new people like this.
Especially not people as handsome as him... Well, yes... I admit it, he’s handsome. It’s obvious, you can’t really deny it, that’s no use.
“Ambitious. I like that.” Nathan grins. “Good luck. I hope it works out for you.” He seems so sincere when he says that.
“I’ll get you your order and let you get back to your work. I can’t distract you too much when you’ve got to split your times between two jobs.” I smile back at him too, and then quickly make my way to the counter, getting away from him before he can see how my cheeks have heated up. I put the order into the system.
A moment later, Zeke is at my side. “He’s nice, right?”
“Who?” Though, I’m sure it’s not use playing dumb.
“Nathan.” Zeke lets out a little sigh. “Pretty sure he’s flirting with you.” I’m not sure what to make of his words, but when I look up, Zeke is smiling, a happy smile. That confuses me.
“Pretty sure he was flirting with you before, when I went on my break.” I saw the way they talked to each other as I took Evan and Mia to the back. Plus, who would want a guy like me? The best I can hope for is finding a job and being able to support my kids. I don’t hold any hopes that I’d find an Alpha who would even look in my direction again. It’s nice to have Zeke at my side now, and I love him, so much. But I also know that once he finds his Alpha, he’ll be gone too, that’s reality. And Nathan seems really nice, even kind, for an Alpha. “But yes, he’s nice. He’ll probably make someone a good husband when he chooses to.” I pour the glass of orange juice, and see the notification that the sandwich Nathan ordered is also ready in the kitchen. “Excuse me, got to get the order to him.” When I look up at Zeke this time, his eyes are a little different, saddened, and I don’t know what to think of it. “Zeke?” I touch his arm and he blinks, shaking his head.
“Nothing.” He smiles, but the look doesn’t go out of his eyes. “Go get the order, I need to go to another customer.” He walks off, leaving me stunned for a moment, then I go get the sandwich from the kitchen.
I’m not sure what’s going on, but something’s definitely going on.
That look in Zeke’s eyes... It means something is puzzling him, it means he doesn’t really know how he feels about something yet, and it’s not looking good. I know that look, I’ve seen it often enough before. But I don’t know how to connect that look to the things that he just said or my reply...
And I don’t know what to think of the feeling in my stomach when I talk to Nathan. I guess I’m just getting a little fluttery because I’m not used to handsome Alphas talking to me and showing an actual interest in what I’m saying. Or really, any Alpha, apart from my family, showing any interest in my thoughts... I’m not used to it, and with the way everything has gone, I’d never expected it to happen to me, at all. I learned early on that that’s just not something Alphas do, having honest interest in an Omega’s thoughts. I’ve experienced it often enough, the disappointment when you realise that you saying something of substance only angers an Alpha... You learn to shut your mouth pretty quickly after that.
That must be it. I’m just reading the situation wrong. He’s just being polite and better at hiding his annoyance when I talk.
I nod to myself and return with Nathan’s sandwich. I should just bring him his order and get back to business. Not bother him any longer.
That’s always the best idea, the safest option.
The option with the least pain.
&nb
sp; 3. Zeke
When Wes comes back from the kitchen and gives Nathan his order, I can see that he’s changed a little. The way he moves, the way he holds himself, it’s different from before and I hate the way it makes me feel, this sadness that spreads through my heart.
Something that I said must have turned his head bad, must have triggered something inside him that makes his revert to this again. The way I saw him behave when we just met. He’s acting like a drone almost, he appears to be smiling but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and I can see the way in which he’s deflecting conversation with Nathan now. The way he stands, his shoulders tense, his body ready to flee, makes me want to go right over and pull him away. Makes me want to demand he tells me what’s going through his head.
I know that Wes sometimes thinks too much, that he feels he’s a bother to other people, even when he isn’t. I’ve known him for over a year and I’ve seen him revert back to this a few times, it always hurts. I’ve tried to show him that not everyone is evil and that people really do like talking to him. But years of conditioning by his asshole of an ex is hard to break, and worst of all… his ex wasn’t exactly unusual in the way he thought about Omegas or the way he treated them, he was just a little on the extremer side of the norm. It feels wrong to say ‘a little’, but my own experiences tell me that it’s right.
I take another customer’s order and get back to work, I can’t let this distract me right now. I’m going to have to talk to Wes later, hopefully before he’s off to class, but if that doesn’t work out, we’ll have time to talk tonight too. There are too many customers to deal with this right now, even if that hurts.
I bring another order around and as I’m on my way back to the counter, Nathan motions for me.
I go over to him, trying not to read anything into the look he’s giving me, but I know that he’s going to ask about Wes. He looks sad and a little confused. “Yes?” I put on my best smile, which isn’t too hard around Nathan, it’s easy enough to smile at someone when they’re this handsome, even though I’m still worried over Wes.
He takes a breath and then his eyes automatically go to Wes, who is helping another customer. “Did I say something wrong?”
“I have no idea. I’m not listening in on your conversations.” Okay, maybe I’m a little snippy. Can’t help it. Nathan walking in here this morning changed something and now it made Wes revert back to this state. I get snippy.
“Smart.” Nathan shakes his head a little, a small smile appearing on his lips, even though his eyes are still sad. “He came back with my order and he just looked... different.”
“I know.” I say it before I even realise it. I wasn’t planning on answering his question, but I couldn’t help myself.
Nathan’s eyebrows go up as he looks at me, alert. “So, something did happen.”
“If something happened...” I take a deep breath. “It’s not your fault. He’s... had a rough couple of years. He doesn’t easily trust people.” I can give Nathan this, right? He looks genuinely interested in Wes and upset by the change, not in an angry way, but in a sad way.
“Alphas.”
“Hmm?” I blink, not sure I understood Nathan right.
“Not people. Wes doesn’t trust Alphas.” There is something in Nathan’s eyes as he looks Wes’ way that makes my chest clench and makes me feel like he knows exactly what he’s talking about. Why does that hurt? Why would…
“Something like that.” I hate how suddenly my voice sounds rough.
His eyes come to me again, falling on my face, and suddenly it feels like he sees right through me, like whatever is hurting on the inside is okay to let him know. Like he can see inside me, and understands it.
“I... I need to...” I take a step back, turning around.
“Zeke.” His voice stops me.
I turn back to him. I need to take a moment to myself, I really have to. I have to get away.
“Is it okay if I ask the two of you out for dinner? If I ask him that, will you come too?” He sounds so sincere, and at the same time scared. The look in his eyes… it’s protective, a look I don’t often see from someone that makes my heart beat like this.
I nod, swallowing hard, unable to say anything. Something is bubbling up inside and I need to take a break.
“Thank you.” His voice is low and soft.
I nod at him again, and flee. Wes can take over the orders for a bit, but I need to hide. I need a couple of moments to myself.
I lock myself in one of the bathrooms, my breathing hard as I feel tears stream down my cheeks. I feel like such an asshole. Telling a total stranger about Wes, about his past.
But also, the look Wes had after I said that Nathan was flirting with him, and the way Wes changed when he came back... How am I supposed to handle this? How am I supposed to do this? I love Wes, I love him with all my heart, I never even felt like this before. Never. I’ve never been in love before I met Wes.
And now... Seeing Nathan and Wes interact... It’s almost like that’s okay, that what I’m seeing between them is how things are supposed to be. My heart may beat a little faster at seeing Wes get some positive attention, but my brain knows that as soon as he chooses a new Alpha... It will be over between us. It hurts. I’ve always known that this would happen, but to see it play out in front of me, it hurts. So why am I not upset over Nathan, but just sad about losing Wes?
I want Wes to be happy. And I’ve always known that I won’t be the one who will make him happy for the rest of his life. How can I? He had an Alpha before, and he will have an Alpha again. He was never someone who was interested in other Omegas.
I was just someone who happened to him... A single Omega he seems to like, just one. I’ll never be able to give him what he needs... I can’t even... during sex... I can’t give him that, it doesn’t work like that for me. So how can I ever compete with an Alpha?
I take a deep breath, I knew this would happen at some point. I guess it just happened sooner than expected.
Better get back to work, enjoy the time I still have, and prepare myself for the inevitable.
* * *
When I get back, when I feel like I can act normal again, Wes is playing with Mia, Evan and some of the other kids in the play corner and Nathan is back to work, typing on his computer.
Nathan looks up and finds me watching him, something in his gaze changes, worry. He motions for me to come over, but I shake my head. I really need to get back to work. When I see the time, I realise that Wes will leave for classes in about twenty minutes, so that means that the other barista, Tim, will come in soon.
I help a couple more customers, and then, as I’m preparing orders, I see Wes at Nathan’s table and my chest tightens. Nathan asks him something and Wes frowns. Wes looks my way, confused, before saying something to Nathan again, his face serious.
I bring the order I was working on to the customer and then, on my way past Nathan’s table, Wes grabs my arm, pulling me to them.
“Zeke.” Wes’ voice is low, but I can see the confusion on his face.
“Yeah?” I look at Nathan next, he already knows my answer to his question.
“What... Why...” Wes looks so confused, and it hurts to see him like this. I wish I could just hold him, pull him close, but this is not the right place for that.
“I asked him if he’d like to go on a date, all three of us.” Nathan says it like it’s the most normal thing in the world, like he hasn’t already asked me.
“Oh.” I shrug. “Sure. Sounds fun.” I put on a smile.
Wes looks at me with wide eyes. “But... The kids...”
“Your brother and his mate can look after them for a night, I’m pretty sure they still owe us some babysitting time.” I step closer to Wes, taking his hand in mine away from the view of the rest of the cafe.
Wes squeezes my fingers tightly, but I also feel how he’s shaking a little, scared.
“Sounds like a plan.” Nathan smiles at us. “I can pick you up after work on... Thu
rsday?”
“Wednesday works better for us, we close late on Thursdays.” I play along.
“Good. It’s a date, then.” Nathan looks at us both, his smile getting bigger, then he finishes off his juice and packs his laptop. “I’m off.” He steps a little closer. “See you two lovelies tomorrow.” His voice is low so only we can hear it. Then leaves the cafe and Wes immediately pulls me towards the back of the cafe, into one of the quiet rooms there.
“Why did you say yes?” He closes the door behind him. “Why did you have to say yes?” He looks upset now and I wonder if I made a mistake.
“Why not?” I shrug. “He seems nice, and it’s been a long time since either of us went out for dinner without the kids or your brother.”
“But...” He looks around, his eyes darting from place to place.
I step closer, putting my hands on his shoulders. “There is nothing wrong with this. We can go out for a night, have some fun. That’s it.” Although, the look in Nathan’s eyes, I’m pretty sure he wants it to be more than just a single night.
“But...” He grabs my hands, holds them in place. “I love you. I don’t...” He looks so upset. “Don’t you...”
I pull him closer, wrapping my arms around him tightly. Why does he break my heart so much by looking like that? “I love you too. The most in the world. This is just a fun night with someone who just moved here and doesn’t know anyone. That’s okay, right?”
I feel him nod against my shoulder.
“It will be fine,” I whisper against his neck. “Everything will be fine.”
The look in Nathan’s eyes when he talks to Wes... He doesn’t want to hurt him either. If there is one thing I’m sure of, it’s that Nathan doesn’t want to cause any trouble, but that didn’t stop him from asking us on a date. And the way he looks between us... I think he knows, or at least suspects something is going on between Wes and me. I don’t know how I feel about that but it won’t matter anyway, not if everything works out right.