by Rosa Swann
Can I do it? Can I let Nathan get close to Wes, after everything Wes went through?
* * *
The rest of the afternoon was slow. I don’t know what it was exactly, but after Wes left for classes, the afternoon just seemed to drag on and on. It doesn’t help that Mia and Evan were being difficult, both wanting to be carried around the whole time. But I make it through. I make it through the day and when I get back home, Wes and I spend the evening on the couch, wrapped up together and the kids doing their own thing.
I know that Wes wants to talk about what happened, although he won’t bring it up in front of the kids. I respect that, though I don’t think they’d really realise what was going on anyway.
When Clay, Aiden and the kids come home, and all the kids are safely tucked into bed, they sit down on the other couch.
“Anything interesting happened today, at the cafe or college?” Clay wraps his arms around Aiden.
Wes shrugs, trying to look neutral, of course, he fails.
I speak up instead. “Can you look after the kids tomorrow evening? Over dinner and potentially into the evening?”
“Oh?” Clay raises his eyebrows as he looks at us. “Anything I should know about?”
“Just going out for dinner with someone.” I try to play it off cool, though I’m sure that I’m just as bad at it as Wes.
Aiden smiles. “Sounds good. Sure. We’ll make sure to pick them up from school. I don’t have to go to Sterling’s tomorrow anyway. Wednesday being my day off work and everything. I’ll even look after Mia and Evan during the day, if needed.”
I eye Wes, but he shrugs, his eyes guarded. “I don’t think that that will be needed. They’re good at the cafe.” I smile. “But, thanks. We may have to take you up on that some other time.”
“Of course. No problem. So, tell me... anyone interesting?” His eyes sparkle and I smile.
“Not really. Just someone who wants to get to know people. He just moved here.”
“Ah.” Aiden smiles too.
Wes moves a little. “He says he’s an author and he’s teaching at the college.”
“A smart man, then.” Clay nods. “It’s always good to have smart friends.” He grins and Aiden rolls his eyes at him.
The way Clay and Aiden just easily accept our explanation makes me relax a little. Yeah, Nathan may have called it a date, but it’s also just meeting up with someone and he did just move here, that’s the truth. In my arms, Wes has also relaxed a little. I think we can make this happen without too many awkward situations. Not that I wouldn’t be the cause of many of them...
I don’t really have experience with dating. I was never allowed to date, and when I finally got my own life... I had no interest in it at all. I saw the pain that it caused too often, I didn’t feel like I’d ever find someone I’d actually like to date. The trouble of going through all those dating things just didn’t seem worth all the pain when people realise they’re not actually mates. And then Clay brought Wes home with him... And everything changed for me.
And, today, things may have changed once again...
Fuck.
4. Nathan
Instead of going to the cafe early, I sit at home drinking coffee and writing more on the story I started yesterday. It’s not something I’d normally write, and I don’t think that my agent is going to be happy when I show it to him, but I don’t care. I’m writing and excited about it. And that’s a huge improvement. I normally write high fantasy or even some science fiction, but this is a sweet children’s story. Sweet for now, anyway. I don’t have a clue how it’s going to end and I don’t tend to write sweet stories.
But I’ll worry about all of that when I actually get to the finish line. For now, I’m just glad that I’m writing. Words don’t always come this easy, and it’s been years since I finished something new. My agent and publisher have been a little impatient, but that’s just the way it is.
I haven’t been in a good place mentally for a long time. Some things... Some things just mess up your head, and it’s hard to get out of it all. I look at my hands, flexing them. I’m just lucky that I did get out.
I sigh, looking at the clock. The cafe should open in about fifteen minutes.
Good.
I turn the laptop off and pack it with the books and things I’ll need for class later. I’m getting used to the whole teaching thing routine. I studied literature at college and I’d always planned on becoming a professor and teach at college myself. But during my degree I actually got into writing and signed my first publishing contract, that sort of changed everything. It’s uncommon, but I know that it’s not unheard of. My plan had been to teach and then write a little on the side, but in the end, I was able to live off just my writing, so I didn’t teach. But after everything went down and I couldn’t get words on the page anymore, I realised that even though I’d made enough money to probably live off for the rest of my life, I needed to do something productive with my days. At thirty-two, I just didn’t want to stay at home and not do anything with my days. I needed to live and be productive, I’m bad at being inert.
An author who doesn’t write is an author who doesn’t have anything to fill his days with. Sure, I got invited to a couple of schools and conventions and things like that, but that doesn’t take up enough time to really call it ‘doing something with your day’. That feeling of inertia and worthlessness didn’t help my depression.
So, I went back to my other plan. Teaching. At college. At least it’s something that I can fill my days with, and it’s fun to do. For now anyway.
I grab my bag and leave the apartment, a little spring to my steps that I don’t realise until I’m waiting to cross a busy street. Wow. Okay. So I guess I really can still act like this, upbeat. I walk past the cafe I’ve been working at for weeks, instead walking on, keeping going until I reach the other cafe, the cafe where Zeke and Wes work. The name of the cafe is stencilled on the window, ‘Away from Home’. It’s a cute name, and as I open the door, Zeke looks up and smiles at me.
I go over to the same place where I was sitting yesterday, unpacking my laptop and waiting for Zeke to come over.
“What would you like to drink? And would you like a pre-paid card today?” When I look at him, there is a sparkle in his eyes, teasing.
“Yes, on the card. I think I’ll be coming here more often.” I can play this game too, this game of teasing, playing, trying to see how interested the other party is.
“Well, a handsome face like yours is always welcome.” Zeke grins. “And, a drink?”
“Coffee, please. Black.” I feel a little flutter inside at the way Zeke looked. Which is surprising, I’ve been interested in male Omegas before, but never so much that I get that fluttery feeling inside. “No Wes today?”
“Oh, he’s got an early class today. He’ll be by in two or three hours. I’ll be right back with your card and a drink.” He walks off and I can’t help but look after him. My eyes running over him, at the way he moves, at the way he keeps pulling my attention.
Okay. So, he’s good looking. They both are. And I quickly need to push my thoughts into a different direction when I realise that they are starting to glide towards wondering what they’d look like without clothes...
Bad. Bad Nathan. Don’t even go there. You’re taking them out for dinner, nothing else. You’ve done that before. Gone on dates with male Omegas, just trying to have a good night and get to know them a little. Male Omegas make good friends. Not the same pressure as female Omegas. But this time, when I look at them, I feel that pulling inside, that pull that makes me want more than to just get to know them. I want more. But we’re just going on a dinner date, nothing else.
Nothing else.
Because I can’t afford to make this more than that, no matter how tempting it is.
* * *
As soon as class is over, I make my way to my office, dropping off some papers and picking up things I need to take home.
A knock on the door makes
me look up, surprised. But it’s the professor from the next office over, Robert. “Hey. How are you doing?” He leans against the door.
“Settling in.” I’m not really feeling like small talk, but I do need to keep the peace with the other professors.
“Good. Some of us are having drinks on Friday, do you want to come?” This isn’t the first time he’s invited me, some of the other professors are very excited about the whole ‘famous author’ thing. They hope that some of it will rub off on them if they get close enough to me. Naive.
I shrug. “Sounds good. I’ll have to check though, I can’t promise anything.”
“An Omega at home who you need to get to?” Robert grins.
I shrug, not answering. I don’t really feel like explaining that I don’t have the best luck with Omegas, or the disasters in my past. Better let them guess than confirming something either way. Talking of Omegas... Two of them... Who I will be meeting in just over an hour. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I do have to admit that there is some part of me which wonders why they make me feel different. Why I can’t forget about them. And it helps that they have no idea who I am, apart from ‘guy who writes’.
“Well, let me know. We’d love to have you there.” Robert nods at me. “I’ll let you get back to your rummaging.”
“Later.” I turn back to my bag, trying to figure out if I’ve got everything that I need. It will have to do. I’ll be back here tomorrow anyway.
I close the door behind me and take the car home, my mind constantly on the two men I’ll be seeing soon. After they said yes yesterday, I looked around online and reserved a table at a small Italian restaurant not too far from where I live. I figured that if they walk to work each morning that they’d probably also be living nearby. No use going somewhere further away when we can do something around here, especially since it’ll make getting home for all of us easier.
I’ve never been at the restaurant before, but the reviews were good, and with Italian food there is usually something that people like, even if it’s a pizza or something. Made it a safe choice for a first... date? Is this a date? Really?
I guess it is. I said date.
I drop my bag on the couch and take a look at myself. Okay, let’s at least put on something nicer and clean myself up. I don’t have to look like I just yelled at students all afternoon. Gotta put in some effort. Trying to make friends or something more, I feel like I can’t just show up like this. Clean shirt and some freshening up at least.
I check my closet for a shirt and my eyes fall on a button-up that I know stretches over my chest well, and I add some tight-ish jeans. I look at myself in the mirror, running my fingers through my hair.
Too much? Not enough?
I’m getting a little nervous. Dating has never been my strong suit, but at least these guys have no idea who I am and that makes the anxiety a lot better. This is a level playing field, as I’ve got no idea who they are either, apart from the fact that they’re lovers, something they’re trying to hide from the rest of the world.
More secrets...
And I tried to get away from the secrets when I came here...
Secrets are why everything went wrong last time, secrets that ripped me apart and I’m still looking for pieces I have no idea if I’ll ever find back.
* * *
When I get to the cafe, Wes is cleaning up and I don’t see Zeke around. “Hey.”
Wes looks up, a little surprised, but then he smiles softly. “Hey. You want something to drink?” He looks at the counter, which already looks pretty well cleaned.
“No. I’m good.”
He nods, looking around. “You can sit anywhere. We’ll be done soon.”
“Thanks.” I can’t help but smile. Wes is a little more awkward than Zeke, a little more insecure. I sit on one of the couches that line the wall at the front of the cafe. From here I can see the whole cafe, and also look out the window at the people passing by on the street.
A couple of minutes later, Zeke comes from the back, smiling. “Kitchen is closed.” Then he sees me and grins. “Ah, welcome. I see you’re pretty punctual.” He comes over. “Would you like something to drink while you wait? It seems that cleaning is taking a little longer than expected.”
“I’m good.” I stand up. “You want me to help?” I can sit here, or help them and make things easier for them.
“Nah. It’s just a few more minutes.” Zeke smiles. “We’ll be done in a moment.” Then he goes over to Wes, saying something in a low voice and Wes looks in my direction before nodding and leaving for the back of the cafe. Curious.
I wander around the cafe. It’s quiet now, so it’s easy to see everything without disturbing anyone, apart from trying to stay out of the way of Zeke, who is wiping down tables and rearranging some things on them. The inside of the cafe has been totally redone, you can see it in the difference between the front and the way everything in here is designed. I’m not sure if it’s a recent thing, or that this is still from the previous owners.
“Nathan?” Wes’ voice behind me is quiet.
I turn around, looking at the blond. He’s now wearing a pair of really well-fitted jeans and a tight T-shirt. He looks very sexy, making something inside react to him like I’ve never done to a male Omega before. “Yes?” When I look around, I realise that Zeke has left the cafe.
“We’re ready to leave. If you would follow me?” He points to the back, where I’ve seen them and also others go regularly.
“Sure.” I follow him and as he walk through the hallway in the back, I look around. “What’s back here?” I don’t think I’ve seen this before.
“Oh.” Wes stops. “At the front are a few larger meeting rooms, and in the back are smaller quiet rooms. Not everyone wants to sit in all the sounds in the cafe, or sometimes it’s easier to let a kid sleep when it’s a little more quiet. The smaller rooms are designed for that.” He opens one of the doors. “Let me show you.” He steps aside so I can also go in.
There is some space near the door where you can walk, and against one wall is a couch, a table near the middle and two chairs and a high chair for a small kid take up more of the space. “Neat. Do a lot of people use this?”
“Yeah. I even have lunch here with Mia and Evan.” Wes seems to relax a little as he talks about it.
“This is where you’ve gone.” Zeke is standing in the doorway, dressed in a nice pair of dark jeans and a button-up. He looks... very good. Confusing me a little more.
“Sorry. I asked him about the rooms.” I step out of the room again, having to pass Zeke very closely, and I’m not sure what it is, but he smells really good too. “But, let’s get to dinner. I’m hungry.”
“Me too.” Zeke and Wes say at the same time before they burst out laughing.
It seems like this will be a really interesting evening. Very interesting.
* * *
We’re seated in a part of the cafe that’s a little secluded. The lighting is low and there is soft music being played. We’re early, so there aren’t many people around yet, which is nice, as it makes talking to Zeke and Wes easier.
Plus, well, one Alpha going out for dinner with two Omegas, it can be seen the wrong way no matter if we’re all male. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, me or them.
After we’ve ordered drinks and gotten the menus, I quickly decide what I want, a simple pasta pesto looks like a good idea, and spend my time observing Zeke and Wes instead. Seeing them in nice clothes instead of their work clothes is a surprising change. Though, it makes my plan to keep this simple a lot harder. I have no idea if they even realise how attractive they look like this. They have no idea how lucky I feel to have such handsome men at the table with me. Not a thought I ever expected to have.
Zeke looks up, meeting my eyes, smiling. “So, you mentioned that you teach at the college?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “It’s work, but fun enough.”
“What do you teach? Something with books, I suspect?
” He leans in a little.
“Yeah. I teach literature. My speciality is actually fantasy literature, but I mainly teach Literature 101 right now.” I feel a little awkward saying this, not many people can appreciate the complexities of the genre and dismiss me as some nerd instead. And some people even think that I joke when I say it, especially since I apparently ‘don’t look nerdy enough for that shit’, whatever that’s supposed to mean.
“Fantasy?” Wes looks up from his menu, curious.
“Yeah.”
He nods. “Cool. I’d love to... like...” He colours a little, looking back at his menu as he shrugs slightly. Oh, that’s cute, that is really cute.
I look at Zeke, who smiles and raises his eyebrows at me, then I look back at Wes. “I’d love to show you a couple of books.”
Wes nods, his eyes still on the menu, colouring more.
This is going to be an interesting evening. I’m sure of it.
5. Wes
I have no idea how you’re supposed to act when you’re on a date. It’s not something I have much experience with, at least not as an adult. Zeke and I have been out for dinner and a movie a couple of times, but that was different, that was just us.
With Nathan here, an Alpha, I feel like there are different rules. Rules I don’t really understand. Like... what should we be talking about? Or how should I be acting? All those things... I feel like I should have learned these things when I was a teen or something... And that I shouldn’t be figuring them out now, in the middle of my twenties.
Zeke is looking really sexy in this jeans and button-up, and he gave me some tight T-shirt and jeans to wear, said that I’d look good in them. And Nathan... He’s also wearing a button-up, but it looks totally different on him, a lot more adult, if that even makes sense. The way the shirt stretches over his shoulders and his jeans hug his hips. It makes me want to reach out and touch him, try to figure out if he really feels the way he looks. Hot. Hard. Sexy.
Nathan and Zeke are talking about the local college, about classes and professors, and weird scheduling hours. I just listen to them, not really sure what I should be saying. Nathan is an adult. Sure... We’re all adults, we’re old enough, Zeke and I are both much closer to thirty than twenty, but he feels much older than us. I don’t know why, maybe because he’s an Alpha, or maybe it’s just the way he carries himself. But I’m very aware of the difference between us, and it’s making saying anything at all so much harder.