Catch Me If I Fall

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  “I don’t want to put anyone out,”

  “It’s fine,” says mom. “J is just here for the weekend. I will setup an air mattress for one of you. We really want you here.”

  “Thank you,” says Sebastian.

  “You don’t have to thank us, son.”

  At that moment, I couldn’t be prouder to have them as my parents and by the look on dad’s face when his eyes meet mine, I can tell that he knows that.

  Dad calls Uncle J and Alec, and asks them to go to Sebastian’s car and grab his things. Alec gives me a confused look, but does what he is asked.

  Once they are done, dad looks at his watch. Well, it’s really late. Skylar, you have 10 minutes then Alec needs to leave.

  Dad helps Uncle J take Sebastian’s things to the room and mom follows them to get him situated, while I tell Alec everything that just happened.

  It’s nice having Sebastian in the house. The next day, Sebastian and I help mom with Thanksgiving dinner, and then we sit down to eat. It’s like he is already part of the family.

  Dad carves the Turkey and sits down. “So, what are you thankful for this year?” dad asks mom.

  She looks at Sebastian, “I’m thankful for having Sebastian here,” she says.

  “Me too,” says dad. “Skylar?”

  Sebastian is turning bright red, so he tries to break the focus off of him, “She is probably thankful for Alec being home this weekend,” he laughs and so do I.

  “What about you, Sebastian?” asks dad.

  “I’m thankful for good hearted people like this family.”

  Alec and his family come over for dessert and to watch the football game. Later on, we all go to the backyard and sit around the firepit. Alec and Sebastian plot against me by begging that I sing, so I grab my guitar and sing a few songs with Uncle J, who is a terrible singer, but at least he didn’t make me sing alone.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The next day, Alec and I go to the waterfall in the morning. We end up dragging Kyle and Sebastian along with us. It’s way too cold to get in the water, so we just sit around and hang out while Kyle and I practice some songs for the bonfire at the farm tonight.

  “Why don’t you sing one of the songs you wrote?” asks Alec.

  “No way! They are not ready yet,” I say.

  “They are ready,” says Kyle. “She just doesn’t want to.”

  Before I can get a word in, Sebastian looks at Alec and says, “Probably because they are about you.”

  I give him a warning gaze and Alec looks right at me and he seems surprised. “They are?” he asks.

  I shrug. “Maybe. Either way, I’m not ready to sing them.”

  “But one day you will, right?” he asks and I smile at him.

  “We will see.”

  Kyle and I go back to practicing for a few hours, and after, I go home with Sebastian. Kyle and Alec go to the farm to play baseball with the guys. Sebastian and I get to the farm a little early to surprise Alec. Truth is, I miss watching him play ball. Never in a million years did I expect to see what I see when we get there. He is sitting on the grass, next to Lizzie.

  I freeze.

  “Who is that?” asks Sebastian.

  “Lizzie.”

  “Oh,” he says. I told Sebastian all about her when he first started school here.

  I can’t make myself move. “Come on,” he says.

  “Sebastian, I—”

  “She has no control over you. He is your boyfriend. Let’s go. Don’t make me carry you!”

  I try to laugh but it doesn’t come out. Just like that, I go back to feeling like an insecure little girl.

  I slowly walk over toward them. “Alec?” I say and he turns around, fast.

  “Sky!” He is shocked. Is this a bad shocked or good? I don’t know anymore.

  “You’re early.”

  “I came to surprise you. Should I turn around and come back later?” I say sarcastically looking over at Lizzie.

  “No. Of course not.”

  Lizzie interrupts him. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hog your boyfriend. Go ahead. You only have him what? One or two days every couple of weeks? I get to see him all the time.”

  “Lizzie!” Alec says in a warning tone.

  She looks at him and smiles. “She doesn’t know, does she?”

  My stomach drops. “Know what?”

  “That we talk. Mostly about what happened, sometimes about you.”

  “What about me?” I ask, my voice shaken.

  “Lizzie, stop!” says Alec.

  She does, but she is grinning from ear to ear.

  “Tell me,” I say.

  She sighs. “If you insist. Little things about you. Like the fact that you still talk to that piece of shit who took our friends away. Alec wanted to know what to do about that. And some other relationship advice being that you are so young and naïve.”

  I look over at Alec and I can see through the tears that he can’t look into my eyes. He is just shaking his head. Sebastian looks like he doesn’t know what to do. I just turn around and walk away.

  After a few seconds, I can hear Alec following me and calling my name.

  “Sky, let me explain. We weren’t doing anything. She is with James. She just confided in me about stuff that she was going through and—”

  I turn around, “And you confided in her about stuff that was on your mind,” I pause. “Instead of coming to talk to me.”

  “Sky, it’s not that simple.”

  “Because she is older and more experienced and I’m not?”

  “Age doesn’t have a thing to do with it, Sky. She is more immature than most people I know.”

  “Hmmm. Standing right here,” she says and we both ignore her.

  He comes toward me and reaches for my hand. “Don’t touch me,” I snap.

  His eyes widen and he takes a step back.

  “You took something personal and went to the worst person you could have gone to. You confided in her and not me. And no, this is not about jealousy. It’s about trust. I should be that person for you. The person you confide in when you are going through something. Or even Kyle. Just not her.”

  “Sky, I’m sorry—I.”

  “I want to be alone, Alec.” I turn around and go to Sebastian’s car.

  In the car, I look up, stare ahead and see Sebastian saying something to Lizzie. I roll the window down to see if I can hear anything, but he is turning around toward me. Then he turns back and yells, “You know what? You are a psychotic bitch! I don’t even know how James can stand being near you.” Then he turns back around and comes in my direction.

  Alec stops him on the way and they exchange a few words.

  Sebastian gets in the car. I can see Alec going toward Lizzie and he is mad.

  “Do we stay or do we go?” asks Sebastian.

  “Go.”

  He drives until we leave the farm and ends up pulling into a shopping center and parking the car.

  “Are you okay?” he asks and I shake my head.

  “What did he tell you?” I ask.

  “To make sure you are okay.”

  “What did you tell her?” I ask.

  “That she needs to grow the hell up and that I hope karma gets her.”

  “Let’s get out of here,” I say.

  “Where to?”

  “Would you mind if we go to the cemetery?

  ALEC

  “Are you mental?” I ask Lizzie and she laughs. I guess that is my answer. “Why would you do that? We haven’t even talked about her in weeks! Why would you lie like that?”

  She shrugs. “I didn’t lie about everything. You know we talked about that stuff.”

  “Only because I was delusional enough to think that you would give me honest advice from a girl’s point of view. You seemed like you had gotten over whatever your problem was in high school.” I pause. She is just watching me and smiling. “Ugh! What am I even doing trying to talk to you?” I turn around, get in the truck and go home
, hoping that Skylar is at her house.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  SKYLAR

  Sebastian and I sit on the ground and I stare at Kristi’s name. I will never get used to this.

  “You’re wishing she was here so you could talk to her about this stuff, aren’t you?” asks Sebastian.

  I nod.

  “You can talk to me, you know?”

  I’m thankful for having Sebastian around. I sigh. “I know. I just can’t believe he would talk to someone else about that stuff. Why didn’t he come talk to me about it?”

  “Because guys make stupid decisions from time to time.”

  I actually manage to laugh. “Sounds like something that Kristi would say.”

  “Tell me about her,” says Sebastian.

  I close my eyes and I can see her just like if she was standing in front of me; but I’m reminded of the harsh truth when I open my eyes again. I look down at the ground and take a deep breath. “She was loyal. She was kind and talented. She had this way of telling you whatever was on her mind, but in a nice way. She was never trying to be mean or rude.”

  “Sounds like she was a great friend.”

  I nod. “I miss her so much.”

  “So what do you think she would tell you to do now?”

  I shake my head. “She couldn’t stand Lizzie, and for good reasons. She would probably tell me to not let Lizzie think that she got the best of me. She would tell me to go back to that party and have fun, even if that means hiding my feelings inside just so Lizzie doesn’t get her way.”

  Sebastian gets up and brushes the dirt off his pants.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “We’re going back to the party to do just that.”

  “Sebastian, I can’t hide how mad I am at Alec right now.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t have to hide how you feel. But maybe, let him explain himself.”

  I agree to go, but I know that I can’t forgive and forget this easily; not with something like this. We get to the farm and walk toward the bonfire where we find Kyle. I ask where Alec is and Kyle says that he left and went looking for me. I see Lizzie on the other side of the bonfire. I can’t stand the sight of her. I ask Sebastian to go take a walk with me, knowing that Kyle will tell Alec that I’m back. We walk toward the barn where they keep the horses.

  “Skylar,” says Sebastian. “This is a horrible idea.”

  “Why?”

  “Because right now, all I hear are frogs and I’m pretty sure I may have heard a snake too, and it is dark, and this whole nature walk is freaking me out!”

  I burst into laughter.

  “I’ll protect you from the big bad nature monsters.”

  “Haha,” he says.

  I stop walking. “Come on. It’s not all bad. I mean… would you ever get to see lightening bugs in New York?”

  He gives me a confused look.

  "You know, the little bugs that light up,” I laugh.

  “OH! Fireflies?”

  I laugh. “Well, down here where we actually have them, they are lightening bugs!”

  He smiles. “Whatever.”

  We keep walking until we get to the barn.

  I walk toward one of the horses and notice that Sebastian hasn’t taken a step closer.

  “Come on,” I say. “It won’t bite you.” I pause. “Well, it probably won’t.”

  “Ha ha.”

  He does get closer, but he looks terrified.

  “This one was Grayson’s favorite,” I pause. “Sometimes I wonder if animals miss people just like we do.”

  “I think they do,” I hear a weak voice come from the other side of the barn. I look in that direction and see Grayson’s grandpa. “Sometimes I stand there and talk about Grayson, and he will bring his head down and nuzzle me.” He pauses. “Sorry, kids. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just come out here at night to talk to them. It helps. Anyway, I’m really glad you kids are here and having fun. I hope you can come by more often.”

  I step away from the horse, walk toward Grayson’s grandpa and give him a hug. “I miss him too,” I say.

  I assure him that I will stop by more often. I feel bad for not stopping by sooner.

  I look at the horse again. As Grayson’s grandpa leaves, I hear him say, “Hi Alec. Good to have you here.” I feel angry all over again. I hate feeling like this.

  I turn around and see him standing against the wall watching me. He looks like he is sorry. That look kills me. I usually can’t stay mad at him when I look into his eyes, but this was just too much.

  I just turn around and face the horses again.

  Sebastian whispers, “Should I leave?” and I shake my head.

  I hear Alec’s footsteps getting closer to me.

  “Truth or dare?” he says.

  I turn around. “What are you trying to do?”

  “Just ask me,” he says. “Anything you want to know about what Lizzie said earlier.”

  I bite my bottom lip and Sebastian starts to walk away.

  “Stay,” I ask him.

  “I will be right outside,” he says and leaves.

  “Fine. Was she telling the truth?”

  “Partially. We haven’t talked in a while.”

  “What the hell happened, Alec? What did you talk to her about? Why did you even talk to her?”

  He takes a step closer and I take a step back and cross my arms.

  He closes his eyes and shakes his head before looking at me again.

  “We first talked before school started. She said she needed to talk to someone about what happened at school and that it would help her. I figured something was going on with her and I didn’t want to mess up whatever therapy she was working on, so I just listened.”

  Okay, that, I’m not mad about. That is Alec being Alec. “But why talk to her about me? About us?”

  “I was stupid, Sky. And I’m so sorry. When I found that letter from Mike, I figured it would help to get a girl’s opinion on the situation. I thought maybe I was being unfair by asking you to not write or go see him.”

  “You have a sister you could have asked.”

  “I know,” he looks down.

  “That is not even the part I’m mad about, Alec. I want to know why you didn’t come to me. What did you say to her about us?”

  He hesitates. He knows exactly why I’m mad.

  “She was talking about James and asked if I thought she was moving too fast in the relationship by taking things to the next level.”

  Before he even continues, I’m already so mad I’m trembling. How can he not realize that she was trying to see if he would get jealous or show some interest in her?

  He continues. “I didn’t know what to say. So she asked if we are waiting being that you are younger and she mentioned that she knows how girls think. She said you probably have it in your head that I would leave you if we waited too long, and said that I should be careful to not make you feel like you were being pressured into anything.”

  ‘Are you kidding me? Good advice, but bad intentions. How can he not see that?’ I think to myself, and keep listening.

  “So I told her we are waiting. I told her that I want to wait because I want things to be perfect and that our relationship is way more than just the physical stuff. And then she got all weird and that was the last of it, Sky. I promise.”

  I take a deep breath. “I believe you.”

  He takes a step closer and I stop him, “But it still hurts that you talked to her about us. How do you even know I’m not ready? How do you know if waiting is what I want?”

  He looks like he is in shock for a while, but doesn’t say anything.

  “I just feel like there are so many people in the middle of our relationship that maybe you are losing track of whether you are doing things because of what everyone else thinks, or because you really believe that is the right thing to do.”

  ALEC

  I stand here, listening to her, and she is right. She is so right. And
she is more mature than anyone I know.

  Sebastian peeks in, “Hey guys… Hmmm. Kyle is over here. We are just gonna head back to the bonfire.

  “Okay,” we both say at the same time and I go back to looking at her. “I’m just really sorry, Sky. I messed up. I know I did.” I pause. “Sky, I’m not going to be able to see you again until Christmas. Would you please forgive me? I love you and it’s killing me to know that I hurt you. And it’s driving me insane to not be able to kiss you right now.”

  She looks down, but I can see a faint smile. She then looks up at me and she is serious, “Do you really love me?” she asks.

  “You know that I do, Sky. More than anything.”

  She takes a step closer, “Then quit worrying about what everyone else thinks, Alec. And do what feels right.”

  She doesn’t have to say another word. Just like that, the space between us is gone. I can feel her hands at the hem of my shirt and next thing I know, my shirt is coming off.

  “Are you sure about this?” I whisper in her ear. “Here?” I ask.

  She pulls away enough to glare at me.

  “Just how long are you going to make me wait for you Alec Matthew?”

  I grin at her. “Come with me?” I ask. “There is a cabin on the other side of the barn.”

  She slips her hand into mine and we walk over to the cabin. We walk in, lock the door, and I grin at her.

  “What?” she asks suspiciously.

  “You are not trying to rush things because of everything that just happened, are you?” I ask in a playful way, but I really want to make sure she is doing this for the right reasons. “I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything. I meant every word when I said I would wait.”

  She just rolls her eyes at me.

  “Are you sure?” I ask and she looks nervous, but she nods, and I slowly close the distance between us.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  ALEC

  “Are you okay?” I ask her. I keep looking at my watch to make sure she won’t miss curfew, which thanks to Sebastian driving her around, has been extended.

  She lifts her head up from my chest, looks up at me, and smiles. She doesn’t say a word. She moves up, leaning on top of me, and kisses me.