Catch Me If I Fall

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  Lucas puts his hand over mine and I look back at him. He smirks at me. “Come on. I will sing with you.” He stands up and extends his hand to me. Ugh.

  We walk toward where the DJ stands. Uncle J had this well planned. My guitar is already next to the table. I grab the guitar and sit down as Lucas takes the microphone. He sits next to me so that we are both close to the microphone.

  I glance at the back door just as Alec disappears inside the house.

  We sing one song, and then the DJ takes over and I’m about to go after Alec when Uncle J says he wants a dance with his favorite niece.

  “I’m your only niece, Uncle J,” I joke.

  “Still my favorite,” he says. Halfway through the song, I notice that Alec is back and dancing with Amanda, until we get close to them, and Uncle J taps Alec’s shoulder.

  “Switch,” he says as he winks at Alec.

  Alec takes Uncle J’s place. It’s a slow song, and I can feel his hand on the small of my back, slowly pulling me closer. By the time the song is almost over, he lowers his head and whispers in my ear, “You are killing me, Sky.”

  I pull away, “Alec, I—” He nods his head over toward Lucas who is now next to us, and walks away.

  Lucas takes his place after Alec leaves; but at this point, I don’t even want to be here anymore. I guess in a way, I’m still trying to figure out what just happened.

  I move with the motions. Not a word is said until Lucas stops and looks at me. I’m still staring at the door that Alec walked out of. Lucas shakes his head, and I look at him. I feel awful. I feel bad that Alec left like that and I feel bad that Lucas came all this way, for this!

  “I don’t stand a chance, do I?” he asks and I have to fight back tears. I don’t even know how to answer that. He leans closer, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and whispers in my ear, “Make him show the world that he deserves you before you give him another chance.” Then pulls away and looks at me. “Goodbye, Skylar,” he smiles before he walks away.

  Jenny comes in and smiles. “Girl! What in the world are you doing to the guys at this party?”

  I sigh. “I just don't know anymore.”

  We leave shortly after. I borrow Uncle J’s car and we go back to Jenny’s and stay there until morning - Christmas morning, when I go back over to Uncle J’s. Uncle J and Amanda have already left for their honeymoon, and everyone is gone, except for my parents, Sebastian, and Jack, who already grew so much since last month.

  We open Christmas presents then I go sit outside and watch Jack play. Sebastian comes over and sits next to me.

  “What's going on, little sis?” he asks. My parents have officially started to seek legal custody, even though he is almost eighteen. Either way, he is already part of the family; has been since day one. I sigh and tell him about Alec and Lucas, and how much I wish I could be with Alec, but that I can’t go through the long distance stuff all over again. I just let it all out.

  Mom and dad try to get me to go home for the rest of the week, but I really feel like I just want to stay here and hide from everything and everyone.

  After not hearing from Alec for days, I consider texting him, but when I remember the look in his eyes before he walked away, I decide against it.

  Jenny decides to throw a party on New Year’s Eve. She can’t really throw one at her apartment, so with Uncle J’s approval, we have the party at the house. Sebastian comes as well as Lucas, Carly and other people we have met through the studio. Since the wedding, Lucas told me that he would still like to be friends and he would love for me to continue writing songs for him and Carly. Tonight, he brings a date, and although Jenny says it is just to make me feel comfortable with the whole situation, I hope she is wrong.

  About twenty minutes before midnight, I start to feel anxious about the fireworks. I get out of the pool and go inside the house where I know it will be at least a little quieter.

  Not even a minute later, Sebastian follows me in and hands me his phone.

  “Here,” he says.

  I give him a confused look.

  He covers his phone and whispers. “It’s Alec. He sent a text saying that he is worried about you and the fireworks, and to make sure you are not alone. I texted back for him to call if he was still worried and he called right away.”

  I stand here, frozen. “Just take the phone, Sky. Talk to him.”

  I put the phone on speaker. I have so many mixed emotions going through me that I don’t even know what to say.

  “Sky?” he says.

  I take a deep breath. I glance at the time and we are ten minutes away, but people usually start early and just the thought of it makes my heart race.

  “She is listening,” says Sebastian.

  “I want you to go somewhere quieter than normal…. a bathroom… closet.”

  I look at Sebastian. “I’m not leaving you alone either,” he says. “Come on.”

  I follow Sebastian into my room and then into my closet. We both sit on the floor.

  “We are good,” says Sebastian.

  “Sing for me?” asks Alec.

  I close my eyes and I do. I sing him a new song I was working on and by the time the song is over, so are the fireworks, and I have tears running down my face, but for other reasons.

  “Thank you,” I tell Alec.

  He’s silent for a while and then he says, “Goodbye, Sky.”

  I look over at Sebastian who is watching me curiously.

  “You know that he still loves you, right? You have to know that!” He pauses. “I wish he would make a move already because he sure as hell needs to show you how much he loves you, but at this point, I don’t care who makes the first move. You two belong together.”

  I don’t say anything. I just sit against the wall and close my eyes. Sebastian sits right next to me until I’m ready to get up.

  By the time we get downstairs, everyone is gone, except for Jenny and Carly who are cleaning up outside. Sebastian and I sit on the couch to watch a movie before he heads back home. He wants to be there by morning.

  As soon as the movie starts, I can’t handle it anymore. I grab my phone and text Alec, ‘I miss you.’

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  ALEC

  In the morning, I wake up to a text from her. One text is all it takes. I can’t handle this anymore.

  I take a few minutes to look up some details online and then, I call Sebastian.

  “Hey. Do you happen to have a number for Skylar’s boss?”

  The line goes silent.

  “Hello?”

  “I’m here. Why in the world would I have his number? And why would I give it to you?” he snaps.

  “Because you’d be helping me get her back.”

  I can hear him chuckle. What the hell does that mean? “Hold on,” he says.

  Someone else comes to the phone. “Hello?” Ugh. I can’t believe he just handed the phone to her dad.

  “Hi. This is Alec.”

  “Uh-huh. And I understand you want the number for my daughter’s boss?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “You will have to call J, Dan is one of his friends. He can give you his cell number.” There is a pause. “But Alec, make sure you know what you are doing first. Skylar is happy where she is.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “KYLE!” I call him to the living room.

  “What?” he asks.

  “I need a favor.”

  “Okay”

  “Grab your guitar. We are going to Atlanta.”

  SKYLAR

  By late morning, there is still no reply, I decide to get up and find something useful to do. I can’t handle this anymore. Sometimes I think that being friends with him is more challenging than being in a long distance relationship. I feel like I’m about to explode.

  I’m about to call Jenny to see what she is doing when Mr. Fisher calls and says that he needs me to come in for a few hours. Someone paid for private use of the studio and requested that I be there to help them. />
  ALEC

  On the way, I ask Kyle if he has written any songs.

  “Just one,” he says. “I can’t write songs like you know who.”

  “So you're telling me you can sing just about anything, but you can’t write a song worth a –”

  “Yep,” says Kyle. “Isn’t it enough to have this awesome voice? What else do you want?”

  I hesitate. “Do you think my voice is horrible?” I ask and Kyle bursts out laughing.

  “What is this about?” he asks.

  I tell him my plan.

  “Let’s say she takes you back. What then?” he asks. “I have to tell you, you two didn’t handle your long distance relationship very well.”

  I glance over at him and then, back at the road. “I’m going to move to Atlanta, Kyle.”

  He just stares at me. Really, he looks like he might be in shock.

  “I have to do this, Kyle. Have you ever felt like you are suffocating; like you are trapped by choices that you made in the past?” He nods. “That is how I have felt for a while now. I feel trapped by having to stay away because of my scholarship, but I need to be with her. I will transfer schools and work out the rest. I just need to fix this. And she is so happy in Atlanta.”

  He nods once and grabs his phone. “Here. There is this one song called Heart on Fire. It’s perfect.”

  He plays the song and I listen to the lyrics. “Do you think I can pull it off?” I ask.

  He smiles. “Absolutely. I will play the guitar and you sing. We got this. Skylar will take you back in a heartbeat.”

  One can only hope…

  Kyle plays the song over and over until I have it memorized.

  When we get to Atlanta, we park outside of the studio, and I’m nervous as hell.

  I actually called J, who is still on his honeymoon, to ask for his help in setting this up with her boss. Wow. Did he have some words for me! There were all kinds of threats if I hurt her again. But he finally agreed to coordinate everything with her boss.

  Kyle and I go in and meet Mr. Fisher in his office, where we hide until he tells Skylar to take a quick break. When she does, we sneak into the recording room. Kyle and I sit in front of the microphone. Kyle has his guitar ready to go. He is all calm and collected and I’m freaking out. I have sung karaoke before, but nothing that felt like my life depended on it.

  When I see her come in, I swallow the lump in my throat. She looks confused at first. I give Kyle a nod and he starts playing. As I sing, I just keep my eyes locked on hers, and I just hope for the best.

  When I finish it, she still has her eyes locked on mine. I hear Kyle whisper, “Dude. That was—You got this.”

  Sky and I break eye contact and she walks over to the door and comes in just as her boss motions for Kyle to get out, and they step outside.

  Sky smiles. “That was—”

  I stand up and walk over to her. “Please let me say something first.”

  She looks up at me.

  “Sky, I don’t want to be just friends. I want you back. And I know you got something great going on here. I also know you don’t want to do the long distance relationship thing, and I totally get that. I want to move here to be with you.”

  She looks surprised, but in a good way. She is smiling and I can tell she is trying not to cry.

  “What about school? And baseball?”

  “I will transfer. And thanks to you, I already played more than I ever dreamed I would. If I can’t play for the school here, I’m fine just playing on weekends for fun.”

  “You have a scholarship, Alec.”

  “I will get a job.”

  She laughs. “Do you already have all of this figured out?”

  I take a deep breath. “Not even close.”

  “Okay,” she says.

  I grin. “Okay?”

  She nods and smiles from ear to ear.

  I pull her towards me and do what I have waited so long to do. I kiss her and then whisper against her lips, “I love you, Sky.”

  “I love you too,” she pauses. “But you know, you don’t have to quit everything and move here.”

  “Oh. Yes, I do. I’m doing this, Sky. This is for me too. I need a fresh start. There is no talking me out of it.”

  “But the semester is about to start. You don’t have time to—”

  I kiss her again and when I stop, I look into her eyes and say, “Quit worrying, Sky. I will take a semester off. I will get a job. We will figure this out. I’m just done staying away from you and I’m definitely not losing you again.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  The next morning, I carry a tray with breakfast to her room. I set it on her desk, lie down next to her and kiss her forehead. She opens her eyes.

  “Good morning, beautiful. Happy birthday,” I say.

  She smiles up at me.

  “Happy indeed. Something smells great,” she says.

  “Yeah, Kyle made us breakfast.”

  She gives me a concerned look and I laugh. “Don’t worry. His cooking skills have improved a lot.” I get up, grab the tray and set it on the bed.

  “So, what do you want to do for your eighteenth birthday?” I ask as she eats.

  She grins, “I’ve had something planned for a while.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  She nods.

  “And did it involve us waking up together?” I ask.

  “No, but that only improved my plans,” she winks. “I want to get a tattoo.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed that at all.”

  She laughs. “Seriously. I’ve wanted to do this for some time now. I want to get a semicolon tattoo in honor of Kristi, and you.”

  “Me?” I ask confused.

  She nods. “As a reminder of everything you had to overcome to be where you are today, which is also the reason I’m not letting you quit baseball to move here,” she says.

  “Skylar, I—”

  She interrupts me. “Just hear me out. You only have classes on campus two days a week, right?”

  “Yes. My other classes are online.”

  “Okay. So you could stay here and just drive to school those two days, right?”

  “Yes, but baseball practice is already happening and that is six days a week, Sky.”

  She bites her bottom lip. She is nervous about whatever she is about to say. “I’m pretty much at the studio only three days a week, at the most. I could go to you and stay there for the rest of the time. I can write my songs from anywhere.”

  I grin. “Are you inviting yourself to move in, Sky?”

  And she blushes. I love that she does that. “Kyle will be happy,” I say.

  “And you?” she asks.

  “I will be way beyond happy.”

  I smile at her. “Let me go with you to get the tattoo.” I say and she agrees. I lay down next to her. “Where do you want the tattoo?” I ask as I play with the rim of her tank top.

  “On the side of my finger,” she says. “So I can look at it while I’m playing guitar.”

  I nod. “I was hoping you wouldn’t pick something girly. I want to get one too. Just like yours. Same spot.” I say.

  “Matching tattoos? Isn’t that a bit corny?” she jokes.

  I shrug, “I like the idea of glancing at it while playing baseball.”

  We make it work. Even though my fresh start is slightly modified, as long as I’m with her, I’m happy. Just like she said, during baseball season she moves in with Kyle and I, and only goes to Atlanta three days a week for work. The season is almost over when we go to Atlanta to watch the last professional game of the season.

  I made sure to make this a family event. J got tickets for everyone, including both of our parents, Sebastian, and Kyle. We go up to our seats, and Kyle sits by my side as Sebastian sits by hers. When the kiss-cam comes on the screen, Sebastian gets all excited, taps her shoulder and points at it. She faces me and she is already blushing like crazy, but this time, I might be mor
e nervous than she is. We both lean toward each other and kiss, and then, when I pull away, she looks back at the screen while I watch her. Within a second, the screen changes to the question that will make the most important thing on our list come true. I know that because of the look in her eyes. I get down on my knee, next to her, and hold up the now open black velvet box in front of her. She looks straight into my eyes. Not at the ring. Just at the guy kneeling down in front of her. “Will you” I ask, “Marry me?”

  In between tears, she nods, and the crowd who has been watching all of this on the screen, goes wild. I put the ring on her finger, and it is then that she looks at it. I stand up, help her up, and kiss her like never before.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  TEN YEARS LATER

  SKYLAR

  My hands are shaking. I close my eyes and all I can picture is that terrifying moment when he collapsed in the middle of the baseball field. Tonight was the end of his third season playing for the team that he admired so much while growing up. Uncle J was the first one on the field to check on him, but I was already calling 911 before uncle J even got to him. Alec was rushed to the hospital right away, where he was in and out of conscience. They let me in to see him as soon as they could. He opened his eyes and looked into my eyes, which I’m sure were bloodshot from crying.

  “What is on your mind, Sky?” he asked.

  “I’m scared, Alec.”

  He put his hand over mine. “Don’t be,” he said, but I knew he was just as scared, and shortly after, his – our biggest fear was confirmed by the doctor: cancer.

  “Get up here,” he said and moved over. I climbed up on the bed with him. “Don’t cry, Sky. Just think of all the extra time I got because of you; to be with you.”

  And these past ten years were absolutely perfect… always together and doing what we love, but as I stand here, I just keep thinking of how no amount of time with him will ever be enough.

  Now, I stand in our bedroom, looking everywhere for the box he asked me to find. I open it and find the envelope with my name on it. Underneath it, I find the list - his list. It has several things from the past: take her to a dance and make her feel like a princess, take her to a concert, make her feel like she is the only person in my world… His whole list was about me, except for three things, one of which was for the both of us: marry the girl of my dreams, play college baseball, and then the one thing that isn’t scratched out. The one that he might never get to do, ‘teach my kid to play baseball’.